Chapter Text
Kakashi sighed looking at Naruto sleeping soundly at the top of the files and books he should be reading. Since the moment Naruto took the role as Hokage, he could feel the younger struggling to keep everything in order and, more importantly, keep himself rested.
If this visit was nothing more than the usual, Kakashi would have let him sleep it off, but today he had some questions. Questions that have been dwelling on his mind since, well... for years now.
But why the sudden curiosity? Why now? Kakashi himself wasn’t sure. Maybe it was because how often he would see Sasuke visiting Naruto's office, how Sasuke wouldn't take on missions as frequently and would spend more time with them now.
Just like before? No. Never like before. Not after everything that happened, everything they have been through.
Kakashi pondered in slapping Naruto's head hard, after all he was the Hokage now and he should know better than letting himself be so vulnerable. But tonight he was feeling generous and a little tap on his head would do it too.
"Ah, Kakashi-sensei..." - Naruto said sleepy. - "I wasn't being careless, I had everything under control! Just was resting for... a bit, you know? You should trust me more..." - a yawn. - "... I'm pretty careful."
And with that, Naruto rested his head on his hand once again. When he was almost closing his eyes, Kakashi suddenly slapped his elbow, taking out his only head support, making Naruto's forehead bang hardly on the desk. Naruto cried out.
Maybe not so generous after all.
"Careful you said." - Kakashi sighed again. A little smile formed under his mask. - "Worry not, today wasn't in my plans scolding you on your sloppiness."
Naruto frowned.
"Then why did you wake me up?"
"Was Sasuke here today?" - Kakashi didn't waste time in showing Naruto what they would be talking about.
Naruto looked at him weird. Did Kakashi woke him up to talk about Sasuke? Was something wrong?
"No. Why? What happened?" - Naruto fidgeted on his seat. Blue eyes glaring Kakashi.
Interesting. Kakashi thought. Back in the days, Naruto had always given big reactions to the sound of the other ninja's name. Out of jealousy and admiration first, out of concern and worry then. Even after all these years, Kakashi shouldn't be so surprised to know that the concern still lingered. Like a scar. Like the feeling of an old missing arm.
"Nothing happened." - he rapidly reassured him. - "Just wondering."
Naruto softened his glance. Nothing was wrong then.
"Well, if you wanna know his whereabouts, I know as much as you. You probably should ask Sakura, he might be home right now, it's past midnight already." - Naruto paused a little. - "But he came here yesterday."
"Yeah?" - Kakashi wanted to make more chatting, dig a little deeper, faster. But he knew it could push Naruto away. And since he couldn't even dream in getting answers from Sasuke, Naruto was his best shot. - "The usual stuff?"
"The usual..." - Naruto tilted his head. - "Why are you so curious about Sasuke today?"
Kakashi squinted his eyes with a smile and the answer slipped out fast.
"Was dwelling about the past. About how you two" - he wondered if he should have included Sakura in his speech. Well, too late now. - "... came to be."
Naruto frowned again. What was this talk? Why was Kakashi getting all nostalgic all of the sudden?
Naruto wondered until he convinced himself that it was a middle-age-crisis type of thing. Ah... old age doesn't suit Kakashi at all. He was grinning now. The blond decided not give his sensei a hard time.
"Well... and how came we to be? Any surprises?" - Naruto asked, curiosity peaking now.
Nowadays, they both had a family. Wives and children. They were both working as ninjas, still protecting Konoha, one residing in it for a longer time than the other, though.
Naruto tried to shift his own perspective to an outsider. He didn't think that his marriage with Hinata came as a surprise to anyone. Hinata has always loved him and Naruto came to understand, later on, that his feelings were deeper and stronger than a typical friendship was supposed to be.
Their wedding was one of his sweetest memories. Everyone was happy, Hinata was beautiful, and... well... Sasuke didn't attend it. But he had warned him beforehand. It was right after the war and he was seeking atonement for his actions. Naruto understood him, of course.
"I won't be coming." - Sasuke had said. His eyes may have looked cold and shallow for the mere standbyers, but for Naruto told a lot more than what his words had meant.
"I know."
Few, simple words. Sasuke didn't apologize. He never did. Not with his words. Naruto didn't need that either.
Sasuke's marriage came as a surprise, though. Not from Sakura, Naruto knew she loved him since the day she laid eyes on him. But when and how could he have missed the unspoken feelings that his best friend had been growing for Sakura? Sasuke has always been hard to read yet, the blond had the most certainty that he could figure him out better than anyone. Now, he wasn't so sure.
"I proposed to Sakura." - his voice had come out more like a whisper.
They have been dating for a while now, at least for what Sakura has been updating him on. However, Sasuke was never in the village so it was easy enough to forget that they were a couple. Now he had come back to stay for a while and brought news.
"What?"
"I'm going to marry her, Naruto." - this time his voice was loud and convincing.
He never really understood their love. Loving Hinata was so simple and gentle. She was there for him and he was there for her.
Sasuke and Sakura relationship was essentially different, it always had been. And they both knew the hardships they would have to endure if they wanted to be together.
Nevertheless, Naruto couldn't help but notice that Sakura seemed lonely most of the time.
Sasuke would go for years on his missions and Naruto could see how his absence weighted on Sakura. And although they had Sarada now, she ended up being another constant reminder of how much Sasuke was missing out on their family life.
"Are you sure?" - Naruto had asked, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. Sasuke had his back turned on him, his hair was growing longer.
"Don't do this." - Sasuke turned around. Stoic face. He was glaring Naruto. With only one eye, the other hidden away by his fringe, he could already sense Naruto's doubts and discomfort. - "I didn't do that to you too."
Naruto trembled a bit and his hand left his shoulder. This conversation was revealing more than what they have been agreeing to surpress.
"What do you even mean by that?" - Naruto knew what he meant, but he still asked. He knew Sasuke didn't want this situation to go any further either.
"Your little wedding with Hinata? Your marriage?" - His voice sounded calm, but he spat the words with a hidden disdain.
Naruto hand was still hanging stupidly in the air, close to Sasuke's chest, too dumbfounded to remember to retreat it. Sasuke did it for him, though. He slapped it down.
Naruto eyes widened. So, this is the attitude he was going for now?
"And how would you know it was "little", Sasuke? You bailed out!" - Naruto regretted immediately. The words had simply slipped off his lips and he didn't know why. He truly understood the reasons why Sasuke missed his wedding. Why was he so sensitive about it right now?
Naruto could had bet he heard Sasuke let out a gasp. His gaze had darkened. Those were the same eyes Sasuke would use right before he attacked him.
"You shut up." - The silence now was louder than their words. - "You fucking shut up, Naruto. You have no right."
And he knew. He knew what he was saying without saying. It hurted like hell.
"No right."
With that, he left once again.
Diffrently from Naruto's, their wedding had been discreet. Only a few friends appeared, including him. He couldn't look Sasuke in the eyes, not after their last meeting. Nonetheless, he did when Sasuke put the ring on her delicate finger, when they both said yes, when they kissed.
"You know Naruto..." - Kakashi said, breaking the memories that were stubbornly hammering his mind. - "You guys weren't as sneaky as you thought you were."
Naruto wasn't expecting to hear that. He couldn't hide the shock that appeared too visibly on his face.
"You knew?" - his voice broke down. For how long? It has been so many years now, why didn't Kakashi said anything back then? Would he have wanted him to say something? Probably not.
Kakashi didn't answer. Instead he observed his student, conflict evident on his eyes. Whatever had happened between those two, it was complicated, and definitely a sensitive topic for Naruto.
The 7th Hokage was more than awake right now. The revelation of Kakashi knowing it all along made him think of how many more people might have known it. Probably none, he thought. Although, it was more of a shallow hope than a certainty. Kakashi saw that.
"Don't worry, Naruto. I don't think anyone else knew. I'm just that good of a ninja, you know?" - he smiled, hoping that, somehow, it felt reassuring enough.
Naruto couldn't process how he should react to this. For him, this issue was killed and buried for years now. But if it really was, would he be so sensitive about it?
"It was..." - Naruto trailed off. His eyes were unfocused and, for a bit, Kakashi regretted asking about them. - "It was, uh, we..."
"You don't have to explain it to me."
"It was never serious."
Oh, but how it was.
Naruto had loved him, after all. Had fought, chased and sacrificed for him. And he would do it all over again if he needed to. He had never loved anything so intensively like how he had loved him. Before him, he didn't know he was even capable to love that much.
Should he even be surprised that Kakashi noticed his unusual behavior? Shouldn't he be more surprised that nobody else noticed that too?
Naruto only kissed Sasuke six times. Two were on accident. The others were after they have been fighting.
For some reason, it would happen when they were at each other's throats, bodies close, late night trainings, they would call it.
Panting hard, they were mad. And perhaps it was because their emotions were peaking that, when they stood too close, kunais still in their hands, Sasuke decided to not slith his throat when Naruto leaned in to feel his lips.
It was never romantic.
It was rough and sweaty, full of hatred and passion. Unspoken feelings coming out whenever their lips would clash with fury. Their hands would grab each other's bodies a little too hard. Too hard that most of the time it hurt. Their kisses were a continuation of their fighting. Sasuke would violently throw Naruto to the ground, Naruto's back would arch with the pain, but then he would feel a stiff hand holding him close to his body, while the other one would forcefully bring his chin to him. They kissed and sparred.
Kissed and sparred.
Naruto would get on top of him next. Beyond everything, it was a fight to see who would win.
He remembered how it went. Being on top of Sasuke wasn't easy, even so they were kissing two seconds ago, the fight kept going. Sasuke shifted hard under him, but Naruto had the upper hand now. He looked at him for what it seemed like the first time in that night.
Under the moonlight, Sasuke's skin shined more brightly than usual, it looked paler, an immediate contrast with his black hair that was now furiously falling to his face whenever he would try to move.
His heart skipped a bit. They were right, the girls, it seemed, Sasuke was beautiful indeed. Naruto pinned his arms above his head and without much warnings, brought his mouth to Sasuke's. This time the kiss was longer, Sasuke wasn't moving as much, although it was clear how he didn't like to be pinned down. How he didn't like to not be in control.
Naruto parted his lips, hoping to deepen the kiss, but he had made a mistake. He softened his grasp. Sasuke was free once again, punched Naruto right in the face and kicked him in the ribs. The positions inverted now.
"Getting distracted, loser?" - Sasuke whispered near his ear. A shiver went down Naruto's spine. How cocky he was, how he hated him.
Oh, but when Sasuke brought their lips together again, Naruto didn't mind it. He didn't even try to free his arms from Sasuke's strong hold. They parted their lips. They were using tongues now. Naruto had never done this before. All the kisses that he shared was with Sasuke, and they never went past of a few pecks. He wondered if it was the same with the Uchiha.
It felt so good and, especially, it felt like another fight was happening, exciting and new, this time inside their mouths. They were panting harder than they were before. He could hear Sasuke moan above him. Those sweet and unforgettable sounds. Even after all those years, he was never able to forget that sweet melody. So vulnerable and raw. Little did he know that in the future it would haunt him on his lonely nights and shame him when he laid with Hinata by his side.
And now, Naruto was moaning too. He just didn't remember if it was from pleasure or pain. Probably both.
Sasuke had freed his arms and let Naruto embrace him in a strong hold. Hands were everywhere now. The kiss had deepened more and soon they had to stop.
Their breath was running out quickly, they both gasped for air while looking at each other. So close. Naruto grinned for a bit, he could feel all of Sasuke. His black eyes lingered to his lips, he wanted to go again, Naruto was sure. Hah. And so, in a sudden move, he pushed Sasuke enough to get him to free his legs and kick him hard on the chest bringing him down.
"Who got distracted now?"
Sasuke looked furious.
Naruto could spend all his nights dwelling on these memories. Sometimes he would wonder if he should just had let Sasuke kiss him again, instead of trying to win the sparring match.
But that was ages ago. Sasuke was past now.
"You know, Naruto. I didn't ask this because I wanted to bring you sadness or regret." - Kakashi wasn't sure if Naruto was regretful over Sasuke, but any man who wins a war also loses many things. Would Sasuke be one? - "I brought this up because I wanted to know where you are standing right now... with him. I see him so often nowadays on your office that I can't help but wonder if..."
"No. I would never do that to Hinata." - Naruto looked down. - "Sasuke wouldn't dare to do that to Sakura too."
Kakashi nodded. They were both loyal, there's no doubt about it. However, he knew...
"I know that you still love him..." - Kakashi almost whispered. - "... somehow. In your own way... I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."
"That's... strangely generous of you, sensei." - Naruto didn't deny the first statement, what would be the point?
He smiled softly. Almost sadly.
"Well... look at those hours!" - Kakashi said getting up. - "You're doing a good job as Hokage Naruto so... rest a little bit, ok? Go home, go to sleep."
Naruto didn't argue. He was still shaken up from the conversation, from all the memories that rose up, but he was feeling calmer now.
"Yeah, don't worry. I'm going home now." - Naruto smiled big this time. Kakashi nodded and, as fast as he appeared he disappeared.
Naruto tried to organize the best he could all of the books and paperwork that were tumbling on his desk.
The clock marked 1:40 a.m. It was done for today.
Naruto was finally going home.
However, for some reason, instead of turning to the path that lead to his house, he went looking for Sasuke.