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“So Dad,” Leia said casually over dinner that night. She’d just handed Donna the dish of steamed green beans. “Mom says you broke up with her three times. What’s up with that?”
Eric had just taken a gulp of milk, and he choked on it. “W-what?” He recovered after a minute, and wiped at his milk mustache with the back of his hand. His eyes shot to Donna’s, questioning.
Donna shrugged, a small smirk playing on her lips. “What? I didn’t volunteer it. She asked.”
“Asked what?” Eric’s gaze was darting between his wife and daughter.
“If you guys ever broke up,” Leia said, around a bite of dinner roll. “Mom said you did. A lot.”
Eric made a noise in the back of his throat. “I wouldn’t say a lot - ”
“Three times is a lot,” Leia interjected.
Eric looked at Donna who was trying, very unsuccessfully, to hide her smile with her hand. “It was not three times,” he accused her.
Now Donna raised her eyebrows. “The promise ring,” she held up a finger, as if to list out his offenses.
“And Africa,” Eric finished for her. He held up two fingers.
“And the wedding,” Donna reminded him. She held up a third finger, and wiggled them at him. “The first one.”
“Whoa,” Leia interrupted. “First wedding? Don’t tell me you guys got divorced like Jay’s parents - ”
“No,” Eric snapped, glaring now at Donna. “Absolutely not.”
“The first wedding never happened,” Donna explained to Leia. She was bemused, and she jerked her thumb at Eric. “Because he didn’t show up. He ditched me at the rehearsal dinner the night before.”
Leia gasped. “Dad! How could you?”
“Did I mention that it was my freaking birthday?”
“I - ” Eric stammered, his mouth suddenly dry. “It was… complicated, okay?”
Both Donna and Leia were glaring at him now, and he swallowed nervously.
“We weren’t ready then. You - you were having doubts, too, lady! Don’t deny it.” He shook his finger at Donna and she didn’t say anything, which Eric took as a win. “And besides. That wasn’t a break-up. We didn’t break up,” he shook his head. “I came back.”
“It was too,” Donna argued. “You were gone for two days.”
“But I came - ”
“I didn’t know where you were, you dillhole! You didn’t say anything. I thought you were gone forever.”
“But I wasn’t.”
“Well I didn’t know that - ”
“Wow, this is juicier than I expected,” Leia admitted. She leaned forward, both of her elbows on the table, fully engaged in her parents’ heated conversation.
Eric cleared his throat and caught Donna’s eye, and they both paused.
“Anyway,” Eric said.
“Anyway,” Donna agreed.
They passed a few of the side dishes around the table in silence for a few moments.
“What were the other times?” Leia asked around a mouthful of chicken.
“Um,” Eric sighed, wearily. He caught Donna’s eye again. “Well I gave her a ring, and she didn’t want it.”
Leia’s gaze shot to Donna’s, questioning.
Donna laughed. “There’s a lot more to that story, honey.”
“Okay,” Eric set his knife and fork down and he turned to Leia. “I told your mom I wanted to be with her forever and I got her a promise ring. And she gave it back to me. She said she didn’t want it.”
Now Leia gasped at Donna. “Mom,” she said. “How could you?”
Donna set her knife and fork down too, and glared at Eric across the table. “That is not what I said. I said that we were seventeen and too young to commit to something that serious.”
“Uh huh,” Eric said, his eyes narrowed. Then he turned to Leia again. “Anyway, she gave the ring back and said she didn’t know if she saw me in her future, so I, uh, broke up with her. And we stayed broken up for almost a year until she changed her mind and admitted I was right.”
“Oh my god,” Donna interjected, annoyed. “That’s not what happened, either.” She looked directly at their daughter. “Leia, don’t listen to him.”
But Eric chuckled. He gestured around them - to their daughter, their kitchen - with a whirl of his finger. “Um. Look around, toots. You married me.” He paused, and grinned at her triumphantly. “I was right.”
“Eric, that doesn’t mean - ”
“Okay, then what’s the other time?” Leia interjected again, cutting off her mom. She looked at Eric. “You said something about Africa?”
Eric nodded. “You know I spent a year in Ghana. Teaching English.”
Leia nodded. She’d heard all of his stories.
Eric sighed. “I was… I was a jerk about it to your mom.”
Donna was sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed. Her posture and expression softened the smallest amount at Eric’s words.
“I needed money to go to college so I had to go away for a year to teach, and your mom supported me,” Eric began. His tone was sincere. “She was - she was the only one who supported me.” His eyes flicked to Donna’s, but she’d dropped her gaze to the table top, where she was tracing the edge of her dinner plate.
“And when I got to Africa, I was so far from her and I just missed her. So much. It was really hard to say goodbye to her every time we hung up the phone.” Eric sighed. “So I made a dumb decision. I wrote her a letter, and we broke up.”
Leia was hinged on his every word, following the story closely. But she didn’t offer any commentary this time.
“But it turned out I was still thinking about her every day, and I missed her more than ever. So I came home,” he smiled. “And we, uh. Made up. And made you,” he chuckled.
“Ew,” Leia protested, clamping her hands over her ears like she didn’t want to hear about such details. “Gross.”
Eric shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
“Wait,” Leia frowned. She was thinking, turning something over in her mind. “So did you guys get back together because of me? Because Mom got pregnant?”
“No,” Donna interjected now. She shook her head, a strand of her red hair falling gently in her eyes. Her eyes were soft again as she glanced at Eric, and the tone of her voice matched it. “We got back together because we still loved each other.” She hesitated before adding, “You were just an added bonus.”
But Leia’s frown had deepened. “That’s why you freaked out with the birth control earlier this summer,” she said, slowly realizing. “I was a mistake!”
“You were a surprise,” Eric corrected. He and Donna were making eyes at each other across the table now.
“Oh my god,” Leia continued, her tone laced with disbelief. “Did you have a shotgun wedding?”
Donna laughed. “It wasn’t a wedding, really. We got married at the courthouse, with a justice of the peace.”
“But what about those pictures Grandma showed me?” Leia frowned, confused. “She said it was your wedding. You were wearing a white dress.”
“That was a year later in Grandma and Grandpa’s backyard,” Eric nodded. He smiled. “You don’t remember it, but you were there!” He glanced over at Donna. “Don’t we have pictures?”
“Apparently your mom has them.”
“Right.”
“Why didn’t I ever know any of this?!” Leia exclaimed. She was clearly still trying to process everything she’d just learned.
Donna chuckled and patted her hand. “Because you didn’t need to know.”
They’d all finished their meal, and she stood from the table and gestured for Leia to hand over her dirty plate.
Leia helped her mom clear the table, but she was looking at both Eric and Donna suspiciously now. “What else do I not know about?” she mused.
“That’s it,” Eric said firmly. He put his hands on Leia’s shoulders and squeezed them, before kissing the top of her head. “We’re still boring old Mom and Dad.”
“Speak for yourself!” Donna spouted from the sink, where she was starting on the dishes. “I’m not boring.”
“You’re not boring, m’lady,” Eric cooed, agreeing. He turned his attention from his daughter to his wife. “You’re spicy.”
Donna quirked an eyebrow up at him flirtatiously. “Too hot to handle?”
“Not for me,” he said softly, and Donna grabbed him by the front of his shirt as he leaned forward for a kiss.
“Ew!” Leia protested, as her parents continued to kiss. “Can you please not do that while I’m in the kitchen?”
“Can you please leave the kitchen?” Eric asked, teasingly, while Donna laughed.
“Gladly,” Leia scoffed. She set down the plate she was holding and ran from the room, disgusted. “You two can finish this yourselves.”
She tore up the stairs, headed for the cordless phone. Her parents were going to be busy for a while. That meant she could make a few phone calls…