Chapter Text
Kazumi sucks on his cigarette as he watches the stars' reflection on the river. They’re flickering quietly against the undistributed watercourse, pulling Kazumi in their lustre. He finds it quite amusing how calm everything is around him- he isn’t used to it at all, his senses are always heightened by the unfathomable fear he feels. Something or someone will sneak up on him unexpectedly, and it’ll be his doom.
He buffs a cloud of grey to the sky, his vision is getting worse by the day, and he knows it. He can’t clearly see the moon as he always used to do. Kazumi can’t see the moon that well, and that makes him so upset. So fucking upset.
Maybe- just maybe… his life isn’t what it should be. He should be at university right now, studying and making jokes with friends, laughing at some dumb professor who didn’t know how to answer a question. Be busy all the time with his books and homework… just fucking busy with his life instead of whatever he's doing right now.
What's Kazumi Mishima even doing right now?
Ah, yes. He's sitting on the cold grass, smoking a cigarette with bloodied knuckles. Watching the stars on the water stream because he can’t admire the illuminating sheen in the dead of night anymore and can’t even get his life together.
He can’t be his old self anymore. He can’t be this upstart student who had a dream and a hope. He can’t even pretend to be bothered by his failures at all. He's different now- and he loathes it. Absolutely despise it.
Perhaps… there is a chance for him, though? He covers his eyes with his wrist, shuddering from the sudden breeze.
“Maybe I can be someone’s hope? Maybe I can be someone who could’ve been there for me, if I was lucky enough?” Kazumi wonders loudly, eyes burning from something that he only feels.
“Maybe you can?” Someone answers, the voice's deep- it almost sends shivers down Kazuma’s spine. “Sorry for the intrusion, but… felt like you needed someone to talk with.”
Kazumi doesn’t move from his place. The silence engulfs them both.
“You mind?” The person asks again, a bit awkwardly.
“Y– no. I don’t mind at all,” Kazumi mumbles, changing his mind immediately.
“Wahaha~ Thanks, buddy!”
The voice of this person is bringing Kazuma’s feelings into a halt, much more like what his paintings do to him when he's wallowing in misery.
“Wanna have a chat, Mister…?”
The question lingers in the air a bit.
“What’s it to ya?” Kazumi finds himself answering with an aggressive tone.
“Nothin'! Nothin' at all. Was just curious. Sorry 'bout that.”
The care in that timbre makes Kazumi feel bad, he doesn’t feel like apologizing to the person at all, though.
“You didn’t answer my first question, bet you want me to leave ya all alone after all…”
Kazumi always loved to win at gambling, this time is no different from that.
“No…no, I’m just reminiscing about old times,” Kazumi takes a shaky breath before he continues. “I wish I could be the old me, y'know? The normal things people think about these days.”
“Ah… yeah. Yeah, I getchu, ” The person trails off, sorrow fills his voice. “I get exactly what you’re feeling right now. It’s tedious to say the least.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“Can’t play dumb and tell ya how to live your life. I literally couldn’t stop mine from fallin' apart right before my eyes…but I can tell you– If there's an action, there’s a cause to that. This's just a friendly policeman’s advice. You can take it or leave it whenever you want.”
Policeman?
Kazumi snaps his eyes open, looking around to see the officer who sat next to him. There was no one by his side- not a single soul that could relate.
Who was that man?
Kazumi ponders.
Or was it a mirage from my own creation? Just a sound that could comfort me and lead me to the right path?
Kazumi breathes another round of smoke before he coughs sharply. Maybe, he should change after all.
This gangster life isn’t suiting him after all.