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When Kagerou and three others are inducted to the twentieth seat of the third division, there's a small ceremony and orientation to welcome them.
Most of the seated members of the divison are present for the meeting, which is conducted by Kira Izuru, their vice-captain. Kagerou knows Kira by sight, even if he's never been close enough to speak to him when he was still a no-seat. Kira explains rules and regulations, while their captain leans against the wall, always smiling, his eyes slitted shut.
Kagerou may be a new seat, but he's not dumb enough to think that there's anything nice about that smile.
After the official orientation, the lower seats all take the newcomers out for their unofficial orientation in a private room at a nice establishment. Drinks are ordered, but the mood in the room is somber and tense, and no one starts imbibing yet.
"If you want to survive in the third, there's a couple of things you have to know," says the tenth seat, the highest ranking member of their gathering.
Kagerou almost feels the need to start taking notes, but settles for listening intently.
"Rule number one: Don't bug Captain. About anything. If he asks you to do something, you do it right away -- and I don't care how crazy his request sounds. Always assume he's serious -- that smile don't mean nothing."
Kagerou and the other three nod their heads obediently. He feels a little pleased with himself that he's managed to suss out that much on his own.
"Rule number two," the twelfth seat says, continuing on. "Do not, in any way, shape, or form, hassle Vice-Captain Kira. He's a good guy, and he's good at his job." The other seated members nod in agreement on this point. "He'll take care of you, but nobody's going to save you from Captain if you screw with him." Here the twelfth's voice lowers. "Every once in awhile, someone gets it into their heads that they can challenge him for his rank, or do something to mess with him. And I'm telling you right now -- don't do it. You won't like what happens to you."
Kagerou feels a shiver run down his spine, and the other members look uncomfortable, as if they're all remembering people who were dumb enough to mess with Kira and lived -- or didn't, as the case may be -- to regret it.
"Rule number three, and this one's real important, so listen up," the eleventh seat says. "You may have noticed Vice-Captain Kira's not exactly hard on the eyes."
Kagerou almost laughs nervously at that, because it is something of a gigantic understatement.
"Bad shit happens to people who break rules one and two. But I'm telling you, do not approach the Vice-Captain that way, and don't ever let Captain catch you so much as looking at the Vice-Captain that way, either. Captain's real particular, and he doesn't tolerate anyone trying to get between him and Kira. Vice-Captain is strictly off-limits, if you know what's good for you."
The free alcohol after that pronouncement at least lets Kagerou sleep before his first day on the job, even if it does nothing to ameliorate the fact that he is terrified.
Still, the first few days pass quietly, and Kagerou sees Ichimaru strolling around headquarters, with Kira never very far behind. But mostly he spends his time running errands and doing chores.
Well, he is just a twentieth seat, after all.
But a few weeks later, the tenth seat calls him over and tells him to go sweep the head office.
Kagerou gulps, but he fetches a broom and a dustpan and tries not to think about dying.
"Excuse me," he calls, knocking timidly on the door.
"Come in," Kira says quietly.
Kagerou slides the door open carefully. Kira is sitting at his desk, writing brush flying over the documents in front of him.
Ichimaru appears to be asleep at his desk, his head pillowed on his arms.
Kagerou blinks, thinks of self-preservation, and says, "Good afternoon, Vice-Captain. Is there something in particular, or did you just want a general clean-up?" He's proud of himself for not stuttering.
Kira nods his head toward the floor in front of Ichimaru's desk, which seems to have been attacked by glitter and scraps of construction paper. Kagerou decides that he really doesn't want to know.
He tries to be quiet and thorough, because Ichimaru still seems to napping, and Kagerou doesn't think that waking him up will be conducive to his future well-being. Still, the glitter is kind of hard to clean up, and it gets everywhere. He hears Kira yawn discreetly, and looks up from his position on the floor to see Kira rolling his shoulders before dipping his brush in ink again.
Kagerou frowns a little and goes to work at the remaining glitter with tape, picking it up off the floor little by little. Everyone says Kira works hard, and he believes it. He also looks pretty exhausted, and no wonder -- what with the captain sleeping on the job, as it were.
He wonders, morbidly, if Kira and Ichimaru are really together that way, and if that is part of the reason Kira looks so tired all the time. Ichimaru is awfully touchy-feely with Kira in public -- always putting his hand at the nape of Kira's neck, or his arm around Kira's waist, or sliding his fingers through Kira's hair as he passes by. And Kira always takes it without any kind of complaint, like he hardly notices it.
Still, Kagerou wonders how anyone could get used to Ichimaru doing that.
Kira stands up with a bundle of papers in his hand. "I'll be back in a moment," he says.
"Yes sir, I'm almost done here," Kagerou says. And he almost is -- although, every time he thinks he's done, he finds yet another pesky speck of glitter.
He continues working after Kira steps out, and nearly jumps out of his skin when a voice drawls, "Oh my, aren't you diligent."
Kagerou looks up slowly and with dread from where he is kneeling on the floor to see Ichimaru wide awake and smiling a smile that somehow seems creepier than usual.
"Good boys should learn to keep their eyes on their jobs. But Izuru is pretty, ain't he? I suppose you've never seen him up close before," Ichimaru says.
Kagerou doesn't even know how to answer that, but fear makes him blurt out, "I wasn't looking at him that way, Captain, I swear!"
Ichimaru leans forward, looming over him. "You weren't, huh. Then why were you looking at him?"
Kagerou gulps, and feels cold sweat prick at his skin. "J-just, he looks tired. Real tired." In his mind he makes all kinds of promises to vague deities if only Ichimaru won't kill him dead for this.
Ichimaru looks strangely more interested and less casually homicidal. "Tired," he says, as if rolling the word around in his mouth for taste. "Why do you suppose that is?"
Kagerou is saved from even thinking about Ichimaru sleeping while Kira works away when Kira walks back into the room.
"Na, Izuru. Our little one here seems to think you might be 'tired.'" Ichimaru rests his chin in his hand and looks in Kira's direction.
Kira sighs softly. "Captain, these reports have to be submitted today."
"Ah-ah, not an answer, was it, little one?" Ichimaru says to Kagerou, in a peculiar cooing tone of voice. "Izuru's sneaky like that. Sometimes I think he likes those bits of paper more than he likes me."
"Captain," Kira says reprovingly. "You know I..." he trails off and bites his lip, looking to the side.
"Oh dear," Ichimaru says, a parody of concern. "If Izuru won't go home to rest, I suppose I'll have to take him myself." He stands up and walks over to Kira, who still has a sheaf of papers clutched in his hand.
"Captain, please," Kira says, and it sounds like begging but Kagerou doesn't know exactly what Kira is begging for. To stay? To go home? To not have this conversation in front of Kagerou?
Something changes in Ichimaru's smile, and it looks oddly appreciative. Hungry, maybe. Kagerou barely understands what Ichimaru is making him a bystander to, except that it involves power and desire and he's not even sure who's doing what, but Ichimaru abruptly snatches the papers out of Kira's hand and slings Kira over his shoulder.
He hands the crumpled reports to Kagerou as he passes, carrying his vice captain as if nothing is out of the ordinary. "Be a good boy," he says, and there is something about that farewell that makes Kagerou freeze in his spot, knowing how close he came today to courting Ichimaru's wrath.
He watches Ichimaru glide out the door, as if Kira weighs nothing at all, one arm wrapped around Kira's thighs. The faces Kagerou can see from the doorway don't look at their captain as he passes, don't make any remark at the sight of their vice-captain being carried out in the middle of the workday.
Kira hadn't made a word of protest, and Kagerou begins to wonder who is manipulating who.
But when Kira comes to work the next morning looking even more exhausted than the day before, Kagerou remembers Ichimaru's warning, and says nothing to anybody about it. If he wants to survive in this division, he's going to have to start following the rules, written or no.