Archive of Our Own ^beta

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 Setting a foot upon the sacred grounds of the Akademiya, Alhaitham already had a strong distaste lingering at the back of his mind for the general public that surrounded him. Egoistic scholars and sycophantic students surrounded him as far as the eye can reach – instead of humoring their obsessions and commonsensical debates, he would withdraw to the House of Daena and read.

And so he did, as always, when the mood struck him. There wasn’t a time when he denied himself these self-indulgent luxuries that seemed trivial to everyone else. He had truly mastered the art of not giving a damn via invisible patience and, of course, noise-canceling earpieces. Alhaitham shut the noises out and leaned back into his chair, relishing in the tranquil ambience of reading an engaging book in the largest archive in Sumeru at the break of day...

Ticking clocks and rustling pages...

"What?" someone snapped.

Feels like infinity...The harsh sunlight beaming through windows, creating a prism and colouring a rainbow on the rustic, wooden pages...

"You couldn’t hope to understand my aspirations!"

Ethereal contemplation...

"There’s no way we’re submitting that!"

Thud. Thud.

Well, there goes his immersive reading experience. Alhaitham wasn’t a fractious man; the repeated, brutish offense pushed all the wrong buttons on him.

 He finally perked up at the sound of a specific person repeatedly yelling amidst the aisles of countless bookshelves, disturbing his peace and quiet at the library of all places. Absolutely shameless he was, this unknown man with the temper of a toddler – he had zero regard for everyone else, Alhaitham thought.

"Unbelievable!" the man of mystery soon revealed himself. He had bright blond hair and he wore extravagant earrings beneath his long locks. If he wasn’t so pesky, Alhaitham would have found him subjectively attractive, but the student made his presence felt. He sat at the same table as Alhaitham, just across him, face buried in his palms.

"It is quite unbelievable that your unbearable voice managed to bypass my earpieces." he complained, readjusting the settings in the meantime.

"Oh. Well, sounds like you just need an upgrade. And with whom am I speaking?" he was still fuming, and that translated to his overall mood and attitude. He tried to be polite, he really did; he was a little bit of a people pleaser, okay, that was a lie – he was a massive people pleaser. His first impression of Alhaitham wasn’t a pleasant one, and the feeling was mutual.

"Alhaitham. Haravatat." he spoke strictly and briefly, trying to keep conversing at the minimum. He did not look away from his book for even a moment. Kaveh nearly gasped.

"That Alhaitham? I’ve heard many great things." the smile on his face was twitching with mockery; he had heard much about that promising, bright young man who has enrolled recently. His scores were highly praised among Haravatat professors, and even beyond that. This wasn’t what he imagined. He was used to the average Akademiya mindset, and Alhaitham represented it with a hint of self-awareness. "Kaveh. Kshahrewar."

They shook hands at the proposal of Kaveh reaching out to him, and Alhaitham was polite enough to grab his hand and go through with it. That was the first and last time they held hands like strangers.

"Just...don’t put me on a pedestal, alright?" he let out an uncomfortable sigh, "Are you always this straightforward with strangers?" his expression was near empty, uninterested, but at the very least, Kaveh thought his...humility was admirable, if you can call that humility. It was probably just awkwardness.

"Well, it’s nice to meet you too, Alhaitham. Look, sorry I roused you up. These professors really did it this time, imposing the most uncreative design on me to work on, and in pairs, if it wasn’t bad enough. This guy, I– ugh. I’m doing all the work myself and he wanted me to implement his details last minute! I procrastinate as much as the next person, but the deadline is tomorrow morning and I already fleshed it out!" Kaveh conveniently vented to Alhaitham, who finally fidgeted enough with his device to filter out Kaveh’s voice, who did not notice that whatsoever. "Can you imagine that? I just know that I’m going to have to pull an all-nighter to finish this."

 A couple of more minutes and Alhaitham looked up from his book. Kaveh was still there, talking at him. He knew he should penalize people for talking to him about their nonsense.

"And then he started threatening me! Me!" he went off like a bomb. To say the least, he appeared to be very talkative and was obviously an avid overthinker.

"You’re awfully comfortable laying yourself bare. You shouldn’t be so off-guard around strangers." he advised after a moment. Somehow, he heard some words here and there, infiltrating his ears. It’s not that he was particularly interested about his incessant rambling.

"You’re not giving me the stranger danger talk in the library, are you?" the student took offense. "It’s not like you’re going to kidnap me or anything. Unless, should I be more vigilant around you?" he joked in an attempt to break the tension.

"I certainly wouldn’t kidnap you. If I had the misfortune of encountering you in such a situation, I would return you within moments."

Most people would shut up, never engage with Alhaitham ever again. But Kaveh retorted; it was a back and forth banter. Kaveh promptly got used to his vitriolic tone.

"Might I remind you it was you who started the conversation? It’s rude of you to brush me off like that!" Kaveh scoffed.

"It was delightful to talk with you. Now, if you will let me..." he crammed his book up on his thigh, getting comfortable once again. Kaveh rolled his eyes at him and Alhaitham paid no heed to him.

 If love at first sight exists, so does hate at first sight, Alhaitham concluded. Yet...There was something magnetic about Kaveh’s mannerisms that weren’t quite like everybody else. Alhaitham’s intuition suggested that Kaveh was the type of person who would refuse to prioritize self-interest; after all, he was talking about pulling an all-nighter, and given what Alhaitham knew, he was confident that the Kshahrewar student ended up submitting the reworked design.

It didn’t matter. They wouldn’t even bump into each other for several days, until another fateful, unplanned encounter.

 The meeting point was at the Akademiya entrance. Several Darshans’ top students assembled and waited for their guide, all set to go on a research trip in the desert. The plans were set in stone for a couple of months beforehand and it was a promising opportunity for Akademiya students.

The tranquil sunrise was abruptly shattered by a shriek that echoed through the crowd.

"Why did it have to be you?" Kaveh groaned. He wore his heart on his sleeve, there was no mistaking that. After their first encounter at the library, he would have preferred not to get assigned with someone as bullheaded as Alhaitham. "You could have at least mentioned it!"

"Why? If I did, you would have kept on pestering me." he said, unbothered. "Like you are, right now."

"Hmph! If I had known...I would have declined at the last second!"

"Sure you would. Unfortunately, we will be working on this together now, so how about you make this easier for all of us?"

"Look who’s talking!"

"Both of you," one of the professors interrupted, "save the bickering for another time. We’ll do a roll call. We have a long road ahead of us. It would do you good if you poured oil on troubled waters."

 Kaveh walked right beside Alhaitham the entire time. They were the two slowest members of the group; Kaveh barely had enough stamina to walk that distance and Alhaitham simply savored the environment under the guise of a „feeble scholar” as he would phrase it.

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 Sand everywhere – inside clothes, on and around them. In their shoes and stubbornly stuck on their skins; and that was remarkably itchy, prickly, and never-ending. If, god forbid, his ankles got rubbed together, the grains of sand would create that pesky sensation that was similar to the hell that is fabric tags at the back of one’s clothing. On top of that, the weather was dry and searing.

And yet, the closer they approached this nightmarish wilderness and the deeper they ventured into the desert, the more mysterious the aura surrounding them was, flying across the geography of the sand-veiled location. It was turbulent and stately beautiful.

"This place is a nightmare..." Kaveh complained, walking beside Alhaitham. He was reading again, in the middle of nowhere. Kaveh didn’t understand how he could watch his step when he was so concentrated on his read. "Hey, pass me that bottle of water."

"Would it kill you to say please?" he handed Kaveh the bottle anyway. If he dropped dead or unconscious on the spot, that would be thoroughly inconvenient.

"Please. And thanks." he chugged at least half of it. He was still parched, but he realized that their resources are limited at the moment. So he chose to remain thirsty for a while. Alhaitham drank the other half without further hesitation.

 After a couple of more minutes of walking they could finally spot the sprawling dunes.

"Well, we have arrived at last." Alhaitham shut his book and focused his gaze at the mystifying scenery unfolding before his eyes. The monumental mausoleum standing bold in front of them was a marvelous sight to behold; a massive, golden twister of sandstorm gathering at its peak, reshaping the pyramid into a peculiar hourglass.

Kaveh looked up, squinting into the harsh sun. Everything was basked in light. Kaveh felt like he was part of a figment of imagination and Alhaitham felt more like it’s an inconvenience. Regardless, there was no turning back.

 In the near distance was an excavation site right outside the Mausoleum of King Deshret, waiting for the scholars to make their way over there. Another group that had already settled down in the cooling silhouettes was eagerly waving at the newcomers.

Everyone laid their packs and loads at the settlement. It was going to be a lengthy trip, at least a week long; it would have been a mistake to miss the chance after they received funding and endorsement from the Grand Sage himself. And thus began the examination of the mausoleum.

"H-How many more staircases left?" Kaveh complained with several huffs between his steps. "If- If I don’t stop now, my heart will..."

"You’re slouching." the junior warned him.

Kaveh straightened his posture, and the correction resulted in a creaking sound coming from the depth of his bones. Alhaitham regretted telling him that; the senior was taller than him.

"Oh, woe is me! My back hurts..."

"You’re going to trip." Alhaitham treaded in a rather sluggish, but safe way. He took a look at Kaveh’s feet as he stumbled head first. A nagging voice in his conscience told him to catch the annoyance. He grabbed Kaveh at the back of his neck, by the collar of his uniform, and put him to place.

"Thanks." he said, quietly grumbling under his breath.

"What was that?" a complacent tone and no smile on his face, not even a sneer.

"I said, thanks!" he yelled.

"What’s the yelling for? Hmm...Twice already today. Keep it up and you might learn some manners."

"You will thank me sooner or later, too. And that’s rich coming from you."

"For what exactly?" he looked at Kaveh as he fumbled with words.

"Y-You’ll see! Okay, now you’re just distracting me." he turned away from Alhaitham. Somehow, these pointless conversations became addictive and stimulating. Kaveh had to pay more careful attention to the actual project.

 As they entered the temple, the group of scholars suddenly felt themselves getting veiled by a mystical haze. On left and right stood almighty statues of hounds, and smooth sand covered the remnants of ancient technology. The tomb was positioned in the middle of the main chamber and its adornments were prominent protective layers of stone and gems. Giant statues in each corner intimidated the arriving students and their professors. The walls and pillars around them stood strong and intact, holding up the chronicles of a nearly forgotten era. The ground was showered in gold and various pieces of artifacts partially buried underneath. At the foot of a pillar, Kaveh’s interest was piqued by the scattered coins that appeared to be outdated currencies.

"I’ll offer you a word of advice – do not pick up the coins," he warned Kaveh. "you might get a curse cast upon you."

"Curse, what curse?" he felt a hand creep up on his shoulder and he dropped the coins immediately as he felt the anxiety-inducing shivers go up his spine. "You’re not funny. Stop creeping up on me like that. I am just doing what I’m told, okay?" the boundless excuses...they did make Alhaitham smirk a little, but only when Kaveh wasn’t looking.

"The oddities about this place never cease." he investigated the different, tiny pieces of sigils engraved in the tomb as assigned, but most of them were vague and overgrown with corrosion.

"You mean wonders?" Kaveh raised an eyebrow. He has only known Alhaitham for about a day, but alas, he was the only person he knew in the entire group of researchers, and so he found comfort talking to someone he’s – more so than not – familiar with. Kaveh was not aware of the fact that Alhaitham chooses his wording meticulously yet.

"No. The building itself is an arcanum." He kept the rest of it to himself. Alhaitham put a finger to his chin and contemplated.

"It is a strange construction. Imagine how vast it must be on the inside...and judging by previous research work done in this area, I have no doubts that there are a myriad of underground tunnels and routes all over the place, even below our feet." he thought aloud, sharing his observations with Alhaitham. He was smitten by how knowledgeable Kaveh actually was. "The stylization is not as opaque as I expected, it’s more...more like a uniform. Labyrinth-like, however, it’s all very deliberate."

 Alhaitham wandered from left to right and then back to the very front of the mausoleum. Kaveh, who followed him around just to make sure they don’t roam too far from the rest of the group, was peeking at a crooked recess along with Alhaitham, sweeping sand off of a vibrant blob. The object in question appeared to resemble a switch.

"Shouldn’t we report this?" asked Kaveh, apprehension evident in his voice. Having read one too many horror stories about people getting cursed or trapped in puzzles, he couldn't help but shudder at the mere thought.

"Hm. We ought to."

"Oh, thank the Archons–"

"Granted, they likely won’t allow us to return here and find out what it does as freely. So, the only logical thing to do if we want to find it out ourselves, unrestricted, is..."

"Don’t even think of it! Horrible idea!" he made the shape of an x with his arms in protest.

"I am simply trying to eliminate the potential annoyances that might hold me back from unraveling the truth." Alhaitham turned around to acknowledge Kaveh. "Are you scared?"

"No! What we should do is go back and play it safe. You’re being way too radical for my liking!" his accusations fell on deaf ears. "I thought you’re a nice law-abiding citizen, but I guess not..."

"I am, as long as the laws suit me." he shrugged, "Well, I might be radical in my approaches, but if you are so concerned, you are more than welcome to just leave." his palm was pitter-pattering on the surface of the button, menacingly hovering atop. He would have pressed it either way.

 Annoyed enough, Kaveh pressed it just to prove a point. The ground beneath them was...moving. Rattling violently, some sort of elevator suddenly took them downwards without even giving either of them a chance to jump off of the platform.

They toppled out of the miniature space nearly on top of each other as the elevator stopped, and Kaveh immediately leaned on the walls, brushing his hand on another button and grasping it. As soon as they regained footing, Kaveh wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Without any warning whatsoever, the elevator behind them made a noise and shut down. Nowhere to be found as they glanced back at the empty place reserved for the platform. It looked like it was recalled from above, but the busy silence and heavy, inattentive footsteps suggested otherwise.

"What...just what is this," he pressed the button again and again but it almost seemed like it was stuck and completely unusable. "Why aren’t you working?!" he yelled at the button, rather than Alhaitham.

"Stop that. Watching you struggle isn’t going to solve the problem. Let’s go look around." he turned his back on Kaveh. "How about that way?"

Kaveh hurriedly walked around the wall to see where the route leads, but to no avail.

"Dead end."

"Pity," he scratched his temple, "we’ll just have to find a different way out."

"Oh, great. Now I’m trapped with Mr. Prodigy. Can’t you be a little bit more worried?"

"Well, it was you who was insistent on following me around. You knew the risks." Alhaitham assured his senior.

"And, if you went alone, you would be stuck here on your own! You’re welcome." he seemed more than pleased with how that came out. His arms folded, throwing a mild tantrum.

 Since they had nowhere else to go, they approached the obelisk in the middle. It had sigils etched into it vertically.  Most everything was ravaged, but not the obelisk; least not to that extent.

"Oh. I wanted to ask. How did your assignment go?" Alhaitham asked eventually, causing Kaveh a good amount of nervous sweating.

"Huh? Oh, that. I’m surprised you remember."

"It’s hard to forget something so prominent. By which I mean, prominently complained about."

"I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that last sentence. I finished it all in one night, but my presentation was horrible. Let’s not talk about it." Kaveh quickly moved on from the topic. He clearly put in too much work just to please everyone, and in the end, he didn’t please anybody.

"Hm. I thought you were going to debunk my assumption, but you didn't. As expected." he stated bluntly.

"Anyway!" a grimace sat on his face, "Since you’re so smart, why don’t you figure this out for us?"

"Aren’t you the Kshahrewar student? Figure the place out yourself."

Oh.

Oh, no, he was right. This was certainly Kaveh’s expertise, and he will be damned if he lets a Haravatat outsmart him. That said...

"I would, but I can’t read any of this. Plus, you got us into this mess! Do your part."

"Allow me, then."

"You really brought that up just to be able to flaunt your skills, didn’t you?" he watched as his junior walked past him and put a hand on the tower.

"Do you really think I have no intentions to leave as soon as humanly possible?"

"How would I know? Who even knows what goes on inside that head of yours?" he sighed again.

 The night in the desert was severely cold, and I mean, freezing. The temperature dropped to the point of leaving the two trapped men quivering if they didn’t actively walk around.

Kaveh scrambled up from the stone cold floor and shifted behind the very busy Alhaitham. The younger man was thoroughly absorbed in translation, keeping himself busy, while Kaveh examined the structures around them. The level of concentration on Alhaitham’s face was actually quite...striking, to Kaveh at least. He was writing something in his booklet, but Kaveh couldn’t read what it was.

"What does it say?" he peeked behind Alhaitham’s shoulder unwarranted, trying to make anything out of the symbols engraved in the tablets the Haravatat student was holding.

"You’re disturbing my thought processes, you know that, right? Deciphering takes time. Make yourself useful and be quiet."

 It was fascinating to witness repetitive murals with golden borders in the abyss of ruins, which were largely under-documented at the time, but Kaveh grew sick of it. He had enough of idling, so then he started complaining as he explored a different route. It was definitely a way to relieve stress. The chamber echoed with his whiny voice.

"I feel like a grounded kid. This is hell... stuck in this place with you for all eternity...spending the remainder of my life in dirt... and sand." he catastrophized in the corner of the limited space. He was mostly pacing up and down.

"You whisper loudly. And, you’re being quite dramatic. On the contrary, I don’t think it’s that much of a life sentence to be stuck here with you."

"What-" Kaveh wondered out loud, but before he could finish his question, Alhaitham continued with a direct elaboration.

"We’ll die in a couple of days without water and any type of nourishment. You don’t have to worry about an eternity, it’ll be a relatively quick death, albeit agonizing." an ever so faint smile formed on his rigid face.

"Yeah, and I don’t want that! Your humor is the worst I’ve ever encountered!" he emphasized, throwing arms in the air in defeat. "Ever!"

"Since we’re stuck here, might as well entertain one another, no?"

"Joking at a time like this? Just how overconfident are you that we’ll get out alive?" he turned away from Alhaitham, then caught a glimpse of the man staring at him in such an unnerving manner that he just had to keep talking. "Oh, they aren’t coming back for us, are they?"

"That’s a possibility. Also: the author seems to be one of Aaru village’s earliest inhabitants. Doesn’t say anything about the mechanisms in here."

"I’m sure I saw something back there...I will go double check."

 At the very back of a smaller chamber, Kaveh  leaned in and discovered a two-way chasm with a recognizable blue hue glowing at its bottom. He figured it had to do something with the elevator, so he dropped down.

"Alhaitham!" he cried out loud, "come here! I found something! And don’t take forever..."

Just as Kaveh predicted, Alhaitham showed up. He looked around, but Kaveh’s voice redirected his attention.

"Down here," he called out again, "I’m stuck."

"You said you found something." disappointed, he inhaled.

"You would have not come here if I told you right away! Hey– don’t you dare leave me! I did find something, but I need to get out of here right now!"

"You know me so well. Congratulations." his voice couldn’t have been more fatigued and stoic. He did reach his arm out and caught the struggling scholar.

"Can you just shut up and grab my hand? Hurry up, there are scarabs here, I am freaking out–" he was hauled by a very entertained Alhaitham. "Stop giggling at my misery! I will pull you down with myself and see how that feels!"

"Not very resourceful, if you ask me."

"I most definitely didn’t ask you, yet you felt the need to comment." he dusted the bottom of his green uniform, then he looked the other way. "Okay, I have an idea. There is a beam and some invisible wall down there."

"Invisible wall?" he raised an eyebrow suspiciously at Kaveh.

"You don’t have to know how I know."

"I think I do."

"Just follow me! Be a good junior and don’t question it." He marched toward the other side of the chamber and faced the nadir. He was entirely done with that place, and that was only the first day. He knew he’s never going to listen to Alhaitham ever again.

 Alhaitham was static, unchanging, and Kaveh, dynamic and even dewy-eyed; somehow, they worked together.No, not in a necessarily cooperative way. Rather, they were creating an endless cycle of Kaveh suggesting a solution and Alhaitham telling him that will definitely not work.

That man was a menace to society; an unstoppable mayhem, according to Alhaitham. But it just worked. He couldn’t quite fathom the methodology yet, but it did pique his interest. After a good chunk of attempts and trial-and-errors, something clicked, and the blue light indicated that the elevator was functional again.

"What are you carrying?" his gaze fell upon whatever that thing Kaveh held was. They were both happily making their way back to the elevator whence they came from.

"This?" he lifted a square shaped, stained object, mired in obscurity. "I thought it was worth taking with myself. Everything here is the shape of a triangle, right? This isn’t. Well–" he then went into a very detailed infodump about the architecture of the ruins, and Alhaitham had no choice but to listen.

"Don’t mind me asking, but what was your thought process?" Alhaitham asked curiously as they stood on the moving platform, arriving back to surface levels.

"That doesn’t matter, let’s just get out of here!"

As the elevator was hoisting them upstairs, Alhaitham gave a hyperventilating Kaveh a pat on the shoulder. His face was so pale that the younger one took a step back, lest he get vomit on his clothes.

"You’re smarter than you appear, " he was almost surprised by his fellow Akademiya colleague, although he was aware that if he was truly unintelligent, he wouldn’t be on a joint research project in the desert with him. Kaveh was caught off-guard by the backhanded compliment. "You managed to get us out of there."

"Of course I did! " he exclaimed, clearly and proudly, "I’m good at puzzles and the like, after all."

"Well, if we ignore the copious amount of panic attacks you went through, then yes, you could say that."

"You’re so ungrateful to your seniors...Do you treat everyone this badly?" he frowned.

"On the contrary, I don’t bother to treat others."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I’ll leave it up for you to decide."

"No reason for you to be so secretive–" the outside cold suddenly hit him. The scathing air sat on his face in the form of red clouds and he shivered.

"No reason for you to be so open that your brain falls out."

"Ah – you know what?" Kaveh brisked up his pace and left in a hurry. "See you never!"

"See ya." he nodded in his hotheaded senior’s direction.

 The rest of the research project went more or less according to plan. They had their fair share of petty quarrels and dissents, but ultimately, those exact arguments shed light on the fallacies in theories – thus, unintentionally securing a very stable success.

Kaveh’s endless brainstorming and Alhaitham’s analytical and critical approach complemented each other to the point that they practically conducted the entire project by themselves simply by arguing. If only they were more mature – everyone thought collectively, but never once mentioned lest to hamper their own triumph, which was obviously fitting of classic Akademiya –, they could have made an exceptional pair of scholars.

It seemed like they simply couldn’t see eye to eye on a single matter, and yet, they weren’t so different. The stark difference in their respective approaches was always present in the way they handled their debates, but their goals were the same. It wasn’t merely the question of perspectives, it was also being able to provide a meaningful lens to see through and work well together as a team.

 As the two scholars were packing up to leave the desert for good, Alhaitham couldn’t help but notice the contraption Kaveh was holding onto with extraordinary care. This „thing” looked like a suitcase of some sort, covered in gold-white enamel, freshly scrubbed of dirt.

"Why are you taking this mechanism with you? It looks beyond repair." he commented. Somehow, he didn’t mind initiating a conversation with Kaveh. That action alone made the man delve into introspection; why would he subject himself to irritation?

"No, I’ll ask around at the Akademiya about it later. I’m sure we can patch this little thing up." his slender fingers caressed the case. It had an intriguing appearance.

"You should take a break. What do you plan to do with it, anyway? Are you even allowed to take it home as a souvenir? And...little thing?" furrowing his brow, he took another look at what appeared to be a dysfunctional machine.

"Don’t question my phrasing! It has a soul...I’m curious to see what it is, and the higher ups don’t have to know." he almost cradled it benevolently like a parent, "what are you interrogating me for?"

"I suppose I can emit it in the report. But that will cost you a favor or two." he seemed like he was deep in thought, but in reality, he enjoyed pulling Kaveh’s leg. He realized that he was unnaturally spontaneous with his responses to Kaveh. "It’s only fair."

"Way to blackmail m- hold on, report? You took notes of everything?" he asked. Alhaitham pulled out a notebook that was filled up with hurried handwriting.

"That’s what we came here for. Naturally, things might not go according to plan at all times, but I took luck into account when I accepted this mission."

"You’re hopeless..." he held his nose bridge.

"We should head out or they will leave us here, for real this time." he only said as much and Kaveh nodded in agreement.

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"Cheers!" Kaveh clinked their wineful glasses together. It was cacophonic and the sound dissolved in the air. "To our success!"

"Cheers." he repeated the phrase with the faintest nasal laughter. Kaveh’s joyous energy was contagious. Suppose even Alhaitham could find pleasure in jovialities from time to time, despite not showing any sign of it.

"Is that a smile I see?" he leaned forward to inspect Alhaitham’s face, which turned back to its usual, rigid state by then.

"No, you’re positively hallucinating." for once, he let his guard down just a tad bit. His back was firmly pressed into his chair, arms now folded in front of his chest. "Might wanna get yourself checked out. You must have caught a disease in the desert."

"You’re so unromantic!" he waved his wrist dismissively at the younger man, "you really must enjoy yourself a little. We deserve it, don’t you think?"

"...Unromantic? Really?" his frown was interrupted by a careless and brief grin.

"Yes! Do you even go out, like, ever?" he asked with utmost genuineness. The inquiry was met with eyerolling and a disenchanted gesture.

"No. It’s a bother."

"Then why are you here?"

"That’s something I’ve been wondering myself for the last ten minutes since we’ve arrived."

"No one has ever taught you how to have fun, huh?" Kaveh asked. He thought Alhaitham’s unsociable personality was insufferable, and so he made it his mission for the night to push the man outside his comfort zone.

"I’m not into raucous shindigs like this."

 Alhaitham held his cup firmly in one hand, sliding it on the table back and forth, eyeing with the beverage. Kaveh was fed up and urged the other to be more reckless; he could tell Alhaitham was radical enough when needed, so why should fun be the exception?

"What are you waiting for? The wine won't consume itself! You might as well force me to drink yours, too!" His proposal was ridiculous enough that Alhaitham finally obliged and took a mouthful sip.

"It’s pretty good." admitted Alhaitham. Kaveh drank to that, then wiped the corner of his mouth.

"Exactly! I wouldn’t take you just anywhere. Lambad’s place is the best in all of Sumeru City, for sure!"

"An interesting choice. I don’t find this very...relaxing. Feel free to convince me otherwise."

"Oh, I will! You’ll forget that you ever hated going out for a drink in your life."

 It was a pleasant time once Alhaitham stripped himself of duty and engaged in buoyant bickering. Small talking in the background, fingertips pitter-pattering the rhythms of music, and the continuous buzzing of his senior became a more negligible annoyance.

"Say, Alhaitham, I was wondering" his eyes wandered over to the man from across the table, crumbs on his cheek, "what will you do after graduating?"

"Everyone should have a purpose. Even I do, but I suppose it’s not that conventional."

"Like an ambition? What sort of..."

"Not that kind of ambition, no. On the contrary of what you may think, I don’t aim high when it comes to reputation and whatnot. I want to seek the truth that I realistically can. And..I want to earn enough to finance a cozy and comfortable lifestyle. I want to afford a routine."

"I wouldn’t have guessed." he hiccupped, "Even if I don’t understand the appeal, I hope you reach that goal of yours one day. As for me, I want to become even greater...I want to achieve things. Great things. Greater than the Mausoleum, greater than the Divine Tree. I want to make people see the beauty in life. But, you know these Akademiya folks...it’s a tough crowd."

"You sure are ambitious."

"Will you support me?" he asked with a mouth full of pita.

"Now, you’re getting poignant. I can’t promise you that." he stared at Kaveh, the wine slowly kicking in the more he looked at him. The blond drunkard beckoned Alhaitham closer and he leaned in cautiously.

"Ah, you’re such a killjoy...well, I will support you." the playfully quaint grin on his face said more than his words could.

"I can’t ask that of you. In fact, I don’t think I need your support, specifically."

"Nonsense," he chuckled, "once I show you how to do it, you will see the reason in my dreams, too. I don’t want to live life in a reactionary manner."

 Alhaitham had nothing to say. That made him think for a minute or two. Before he could give an educated reply, Kaveh was already humming and swaying elsewhere, asking for another drink.

 Soon enough, Kaveh dropped his arms on the table and rested his tired head on them, unable to dance and sing anymore. Alhaitham waited for him to tire himself out; the man kept embarrassing himself with that big mouth of his. It didn’t take the younger man long to get the gist of Kaveh’s personality.

"You’re a lightweight." Alhaitham confirmed, "...dragging me to a tavern just to have someone take you home. Scandalous." he chuckled, and he might have left a trace of tipsiness in the air through his breath.

"Mhm..." he gazed up with fatigued, glowing eyes, tilting his head coyly and putting his florid face on display. It was nearly endearing, because he lost his harsh disguise. "You should have drunk with me, Alhaitham."

"I did, but I don’t get drunk like you. And then who would take you home? Not the kindest way to treat your date." he stated with mild indignation and jest. He purposefully said it so casually, knowing an inebriated Kaveh didn’t have the capacity to comprehend those words anymore. He took just enough advantage of the situation. "Don’t get too comfortable, now. I don’t intend to spoil you with my undivided attention."

"Hey, I never asked for it. You gave it to me as a...uh, present." he hiccupped, then buried his forehead in his arms, rubbing against his wrist to ease his headache. "You sound worried. If I didn’t know you any better, I would misinterpret it as concern!"

"Interpret it however you like," he left it open-ended, almost as a challenge specifically created for Kaveh; he felt it would become a habit at this point, "we should head home soon. Where do you live?"

Kaveh gasped. Alhaitham didn’t understand what for.

"You don’t plan on taking me to bed the moment I’m a little drunk, do you?" he asked with cheeks so red a tomato paled in comparison.

"I wouldn’t take you to bed if you were the last person alive."

"Ouch..." he was acting as if he was shot in the heart, then he laughed. "So cold. You’re so cruel, Alhaitham." his face was blushing brazenly, but it must have been the alcohol’s fault. "Do I have to teach you how to pick up a date, too? You don’t know how to flirt at all."

"I don’t have time for frivolities like that, but...why exactly am I trying to explain that to a man who can’t even hold his liquor?" a smile accidentally sneaked up on his face.

His heart skipped a beat when Kaveh laughed in his face.

That night almost felt like first love.

It was more intoxicating than first love, though. Literally.

 At the end of the night, Alhaitham had to take Kaveh back to his dormitory after he passed out at the tavern, then returned to his own home. He was replaying the night in his mind like a recurring dream on the way home.

༻❀✿❀༺

 They ended up running into each other after that, miraculously often.

 Once, when Kaveh jotted something down in the House of Daena, but then tossed the paper in the bin. He took another piece of paper to himself and started scribbling – rather, procrastinating – instead of doing his task next to an open book.

"Rare to see you writing here." a familiar voice rang. "What is that for?" It was clearly Alhaitham. Kaveh jerked his head up and crumpled the piece of paper in a ball as the man came closer. That almost became very embarrassing very fast.

"Uh, official stuff. Administrative, even. It’s just...complicated. They expect me to write an essay, but Alhaitham, I’m an artist, not a writer."

"Is that so? They do like to use words just to make up for the lack of substance in what they have to say." he explained, to which Kaveh reacted with an amused and bewildered laughter. "Just replicate that. It’s simple." shrugging, he sat beside Kaveh.

"Uh-huh. So that’s where you got your attitude from, having trained yourself to be just as insufferable. What makes you think you’re any different? Honestly, you’re such a hypocrite." he accused Alhaitham, "As if you don’t throw phrases like that at others. More often than not, you use phrasing as a weapon against naive ignorance."

"Their confusion does put a smile on my face."

His senior narrowed his eyes.

"I’m only kidding." he then added to defuse tensions.

"Your humor is completely broken." he took another piece of paper from the notebook he kept. If someone took a look at his private belongings, they would only see millions of drawings and discarded drafts.

"I don’t see how my wordings could be considered abstruse. I think they are simple enough, and contain enough meaning to say them deliberately."

"Maybe you should humble yourself and talk like a normal person with others, sometimes." Kaveh crossed his arms defensively, "Being able to explain things in layman’s language is far more beneficial than throwing over-complicated, academic dialect at them only to belittle the common folk for not knowing better."

"That’s a simplistic way of thinking. If they are truly interested, why should I dumb it down for their sake? The point is to acquire knowledge. You could hardly get engrossed in something when it consists of concepts you already know. Besides, my speech is not eloquent, but factual."

"Simplistic, you think? Well, I think your thinking is way too linear, and on top of that, you have a complexity bias."

"Enlighten me, why does that bother you so much? To my knowledge, adding complex details to the mix results in a generally more realistic and accurate narrative. It’s not my fault if it causes you a headache."

"At least I take other things into consideration, unlike you. Right, I forgot you’re Haravatat. You lot sure are full of yourselves when it comes to the topic of language." With a weary sigh, he held his nose bridge. "Speaking of which, I still have to write a letter of recommendation. And no, you don’t have to review it!" His paranoia was more than combustible. Alhaitham was fire to benzene.

"Sure, if you don’t want help, I won’t help. Well, my lunch break is over. I’d love nothing more than stay here and listen to your chatter, but I’m afraid lecture calls."

"I’m sure it does. I have to go tutor some juniors after getting this done, anyway." he pointed toward another empty table with his thumb.

"You tutor?"

It was exactly the response Kaveh was hoping for, and Alhaitham knew that. A little known fact is, Alhaitham was more emotionally intelligent than people reckoned. The more obvious fact is, most of the time, he didn’t bother.

"Don’t act so surprised now, I’m an architect!" he boasted.                 

"Not yet." he corrected the Kshahrewar pupil in his third year. "And what’s on your portfolio?"

"Just you wait, Alhaitham," he was suddenly overcome with passion, "One day, I’ll design a masterpiece that even you couldn’t hope to measure up to."

"Not if you keep postponing your thesis. With your schedule, I’m surprised you have time to hold...extracurricular activities. In the end, you’ll just stretch yourself thin for everybody else." he said. Kaveh knew he was right just this once.

"Well, they asked me nicely to help them out, and I empathize with them. I wasn’t always as savvy at mathematics as I am now, so I understand their struggle. It’s easy once you get the hang of it, but its abundance can become confusing, so-"

"You should start empathizing with your own struggles, Kaveh." He had always surmised that Kaveh’s demise would be his own unrelenting philanthropy.

"You probably just think I’m stupid."

"I don’t think you’re stupid. We wouldn’t be discussing anything if that was a true statement. Stop jumping to conclusions, because that is stupid." he stated. So matter-of-factly, that it drove Kaveh up the wall, even if it was a compliment of some sort...

"It’s hard not to when you constantly, tenaciously diminish my efforts."

"That was not my intention in the first place," he voiced his perplexity, "I just don’t agree with you on most things. That doesn’t mean I think less of you. In fact, I admire your passion, even though I don’t see the same…beauty in it. I also admire your harsh teaching methods and critiques. I just wish it was present in more areas of your life than merely architecture."

Kaveh blinked, a little astonished. Alhaitham was brutally honest, that much is certain. However, honesty not only includes criticism, but sincere appreciation. Many cannot incorporate the latter into what they claim to be “brutally honest,” but this boy is vastly different from the norm.

First and foremost, Alhaitham is an individualist. By no means does he think less of ordinary people, but he’s also essentially against the mob. He would rather remain alone in his own lane than go along with something he doesn’t agree with, that being the majority. Kaveh wasn’t the majority, and he didn’t share Alhaitham’s views either. That made him special.

 Twice and thrice; they would take countless walks in the Razan Garden on the way to lectures. Passing each and every gazebo, the Padisarahs would blossom around them as if to listen in; but truly, it was their season.

Kaveh was humming and smiling while he was drawing without even realizing his habit. It didn’t bother Alhaitham, but he ended up wondering what exactly about art that makes sense and brings glee.

"Why do you draw?" Alhaitham asked, sparking another conversation. He never fathomed the point of such a transitory activity.

"It’s an expression. It’s therapeutic." the artistic blond was abruptly put on the spot and he couldn’t find the right words to illustrate and convince someone as uncreative as Alhaitham of its purpose. But he will do it if that’s the last thing he does.

"Really? How is it therapeutic, when all I hear about art indirectly, is your moaning about how ugly your work turned out? And look at your hands," it’s almost as if he was purposefully looking for an excuse to hold his hand by the wrist, "charcoal. Filthy."

"L-Let go!" the senior got easily flustered, scolded like a child, and chivvied all the time.

"Paintings, patterns – food for artistic junky, but the rest of us are left starving." Alhaitham continued as he let go of Kaveh’s wrist. "Art grows obsolete without a constant perceiver." he suggested.

"For however long it lasts, it pleases the eye. There is no shame in savoring the finer things in life." Kaveh said without hesitation. "Not only that, it’s an expression of things beyond our understanding."

"And of what use is that? It’s a gateway to even more excess of abstract. Anything in excess will result in an inevitable decadence. Idealists like you get overwhelmed by your own mastery."

"Absolutely not! Are you not at all familiar with an oceanic feeling? It’s my moral obligation to appease the soul. The essence of art is emotion. It’s not something you would understand." crossing his arms, Kaveh was baffled.

"Even if a „soul” existed, you’d die with it." he countered again.

"I am my soul." Kaveh said. "I’m just distracted by these earthly excursions in the process."

"My soul is not I." Alhaitham denied. Again.

 Fourth, fifth, and so forth; they discussed everyday details as much as expertise. Recently, Kaveh designated most of his free time, unrestricted by schedule, to work on his own side project; the gadget he found back at the temple. He would work overtime in an Akademiya classroom after his peers had already left the building.

"Have you managed to repair that mechanism already?" Alhaitham asked haphazardly, putting a hand on the unsuspecting Kaveh’s shoulder. He shuddered, but swiftly redirected his attention. He wondered how Alhaitham found him. Either he was following him, or he wasn’t as sneaky as he believed.

"It’s a work in progress. I’m pleasantly surprised that you still remember." he replaced a lax screw, "I know I haven't bothered you in a while, but don't get your hopes up, Alhaitham." he was twitching and shuffling with the tools he borrowed. He glanced up at Alhaitham and felt the heat rush into his cheeks.

"What do you plan to do with it, again?"

"I will name her...Mehrak." he said. He was far too distracted to hold that conversation properly.

"Beyond that." He felt like he was kept in the dark. He was still quite intent on finding out more, since Kaveh had devoted far more time for it than he had expected his senior to. Alhaitham thought it was due that he also finds out what’s so distinct about it, and what even is its purpose. It wouldn’t have come as a shock if it was for decoration, but that assumption was far from being the sole reason.

"I ran some tests – preliminary experiments here and there. With the appropriate modification, she will be a superb mapping tool. But I also want additional changes too, imagine if I could use her for my everyday errands, or for example, even communicate with her, or anything else! Sumeru technology is one of a kind, so all of this should be possible and–"

 Blah, blah, blah – once he started, he could have gone on and on for hours at a time, but with all that passion attached to his words, it wasn’t tedious to listen to, it was hard not to listen to him. Alhaitham clung to every spoken word like kites in the sky. Even if he acted busy and uninterested, he absorbed the information. Kaveh had an obvious affinity for technology, after all. He was an innovator, not one bit stingy with his given assets.

 With the effort he put into it, the time of its reveal came around much faster than Kaveh initially thought. He painted her with shiny details and a new colour palette; greens and pale golds. He was a man of many handicrafts.

A few days later, he found Alhaitham during the day and dragged him away to demonstrate the machinery in a corner of the library, private and rather intimate.

"Alhaitham, you need to see this! I fixed it!" the proud Kshahrewar student held up his pride and joy, Mehrak, eager to showcase the creation.

"Fixed what?"

"Mehrak, look!" he pressed the middle of the case and its pieces opened up into four separate, three dimensional parts.

 The little bundle of technology made a tinkling noise as it opened up. It had a...face of some sort, built inside? Its eyes were illuminating the pitch black screen with neon green expressions as it levitated. Mehrak looked like a digitalized version of a Seelie. It wasn’t the lackluster piece of discarded instrument that he found, but a nascent personality.

"You did. I’m impressed." he acknowledged. "Those eyes are unsettling enough to scare away anyone who wants to mess with you." He added another snarky comment to make up for it.

"She certainly has more expressions than you! Far from perfect, but I’m satisfied. Oh, and look at this," he waved at Mehrak, and she started floating. "I asked a friend from Spantamad with a Dendro vision to infuse her with the dendro element. You know that I’m not as physically fit as you, or anyone, so an assistant is truly exactly what I needed!"

"Just don’t get too comfortable." he thought aloud.

"Can’t you be happy for me for once?"

"I am happy for you. But you shouldn’t neglect your physical aptitude." he inspected Mehrak from up close. "If I may ask, what did this maneuver cost you, in terms of canned knowledge?"

"No, I didn’t use anything like that." he shook his head to negate those claims, "Well, I may or may not have resorted to, uh...a couple of prohibited or, well, taboo documents. But I didn’t use it for anything malicious! So you can stop pointing fingers at me..."

"Trespassing the law of Akademiya just to indulge in your vision? Maybe we are more alike than I let on." A hazy smile was all the approval Kaveh needed from him.

 For the umpteenth time; they would go on a stroll at sunset – because Kaveh argued that it’s more atmospheric – and not return home until at least midnight. Two scholars, opposing like positives and negatives, ending up in bewitching viridity – cursory encounters at the harbor under starry nights, witnessing the Port Ormos skyline in the sparkling water. Its picturesque reflection felt like lucid dreaming wide awake. Encompassed by verdant, succulent Karmaphala in the balmy weather in the gloaming as the light breath of Summer breeze brushed their hair; they would settle at the edge of the port, leaving the bustling city behind. More grass, more water, and less people were exactly what they needed on their vacation.

"Check this out," he said, closing in on Alhaitham from behind. Alhaitham suddenly feels something light brush against his head. "I made a flower crown. "

"That’s ridiculous…"

"My mother taught me how to make them, it’s probably the only legacy she has left behind. I know you’re not appreciative of my hobbies, but you should go see yourself. A good accessory can make even someone like you look lovely. Really lovely." he definitely bit the end of that last sentence.

"You think I look...lovely?" eyes squinting, he looked at Kaveh.

"No! I’m saying that the flowers are lovely, and therefore, make you look lovely. Talk about jumping to conclusions..."

"That’s the same thing."

"No, it’s not!"

"Keep telling yourself that." he dismissed Kaveh’s denial.

"See for yourself, then!" he grabbed Alhaitham by the arm and hauled him over to the shore. Alhaitham spotted his reflection, distorted by the soundly wobbling waves. The flower crown really was pretty. "Don’t you think it’s beautiful? " he asked, eyes lit up with endearments written all over them. Alhaitham stole a glance; the more he wanted to avert his eyes from Kaveh, the less he could focus on anything but him.

"Mhm." he hummed.

"Are you paying any attention?" he murmured under his breath, almost offended.

Was he always so beautiful? Alluring, dollop of sweetness and a tablespoon of spice...well, perhaps an overspilled amount of spice.

"Well, as long as you don’t pay attention, I can do as I like to you, huh?" his hand squished Alhaitham’s cheek. He immediately responded to the unusual physical sensation and grabbed Kaveh’s wrist to push it away. On the rare occasions that it happened, Alhaitham felt all sorts of jittery at his touch. Be it a swift touch on his shoulder to beg for attention or poking him in the side by an elbow. Unfortunate, but these physical spells curtained his judgment.

"Don’t even think of it."

Sitting back on the grassy field, Alhaitham still didn't remove the present from Kaveh.

"My head feels so bare compared to you now," he exhaled with wishful thinking, "do remind me to get a nice little ornament for myself later."

"What need do you have of it?"

"Don’t you think I look...plain?" his fingers were fiddling around the short blade of grass as he settled back in a cross-legged sitting position. Kaveh made the mischievous meadow look better than it already was. Him asking those questions were inane attempts at grabbing Alhaitham’s attention.

"I don’t think so. If you want something of that sort, try this." he picked up the nearest simple, teal feather from the ground and put it behind Kaveh’s ear.

"You’re such a simpleton! But...it doesn’t actually look that bad, does it?" it was his turn to see the reflection. He was pleasantly surprised to see that the feather itself went great with their Akademiya uniforms as he was envisioning it. "Ugh, I need a haircut..." he whimpered in front of the „mirror”, troubled by the length of his hair, causing the sides of his face and neck to heat up in the Sumeru climate.

"Why? It looks good to me." he really couldn’t help dropping innocuous hints. It was enough.

Kaveh never cut his hair again.

 For the first time in Kaveh’s final year, they met when he was growing wrinkles and grey hair in the House of Daena. His breathing was muffled and he couldn’t disperse his worries and insecurities, but Kaveh was fortitudinous. Thanks to the push of the Akasha system, the library has been predominantly overlooked and unused by the students of other Darshans. All that knowledge was stored and shared all over Sumeru, but an architect cannot rely on the network to draw blueprints.

Kaveh was sketching his thesis, while Alhaitham was thinking of a banquet of quotations to cultivate for his sake. He was keeping the man company before a lecture, reading a book in that special sitting position of his, when he realized that Kaveh was procrastinating again.

"In this state, you would be more useful in a coma." he mentioned.

"I wish I was in a coma, Alhaitham." A roaming yawn escaped his mouth.

"You should take a break. If you continue like this, you’ll see numbers instead of humans."

"No, I can’t, I don’t have time!" Panic, panic, panic; graduation was a blessing and a calamity at the same time. "I must stay awake!"

"If you insist. Well. Kaveh, I have feelings for you." the carefree Haravatat said casually.

"...What?" The pencil Kaveh was using had dropped from its hold. He immediately blinked multiple times in a row, picking his ear, trying to make sure he was not experiencing the symptoms of insanity.

"…For example, I am feeling irritated by your wayward behavior."

Silence filled the room, but it wasn’t long before Kaveh's indignant scoffs took over.

"Wow. Just wow." His mouth was wide open, before a sharp shiver down his spine made him jolt back to reality.

"That did give you enough adrenaline to keep you awake for another hour, no?"

"I will never be able to navigate that weird, outlandish sense of humor of yours." he put a hand on his forehead to cloak his lurking nervousness. "It’s not nice of you to joke around with something like that..."

"It wasn’t a joke. I think I do have feelings for you." He told the truth this time.

"Okay, keep the rest of it to yourself!"

"Alright. You’re just going to have to rely on yourself, senior."

"As much as I hate you sometimes, I have something to ask of you, and hear me out," he started, "promise me you’ll come to my graduation." he insisted. Alhaitham gave him a curious look, slightly tilting his head.

"Why? It’s all tinsel masquerading as a sumptuous event." he said, straightforward as always.

"It if were up to you, you wouldn’t even attend your own..." Kaveh presumed with a deadpan.

"That is correct."

"But that’s just you! You would come see your friend, right?" he shined his hopeful eyes at his junior.

"Friend?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Are we not friends?" Kaveh looked at him, puzzled. He leaned up from slouching and scratched his nape. After all, they spent more time together than strangers and they had something more than acquaintances.

"I suppose you can say that." Alhaitham’s heart was beating faster, impetuously knocking on his chest.

 He found himself overwhelmed by the little things.

Catching a glimpse of Kaveh at the hall and thinking about it for the rest of the day, and that swoop of the stomach when Kaveh looked toward him and waved enthusiastically.

Kaveh was sharp, too sharp, in fact. He understood human emotions and how they sat on people’s faces. Alhaitham never had to know nor care. He was backed into a corner.

Anyone who’s been around at the Akademiya for long enough could tell: Alhaitham was not one to have lively conversations with, except if you are Kaveh. Most of their fascinating discussions didn’t happen out in the public eye, but enough people have witnessed the two conversing within the walls of the academy.

Kaveh stood his ground notoriously well against Alhaitham – that one man people wouldn’t dare question – and he made several compelling points. It was just a shame that the intellectuals didn’t ponder on his thoughts for long enough for them to become mainstream.

"I’ll consider it." he shut his book and got up with an exasperated sigh. He nodded to Kaveh as a way of saying goodbye as usual and held the book tucked beneath his arm.

"Alhaitham." Kaveh called out to him before the man pushed his chair back into place. "I know you hate socializing like the eccentric brat you are, so...thanks."

"You should really drop that. You’re only two years older than me...old man."

"You–" he gasped.

"See ya."

"You owe me an apology! Hey!" he yelled after him, but Alhaitham was already disappearing from view.

 They argued with no end in sight, but it was benign. All the bickerings were sweet nothings. Realizing that left Alhaitham in a strange predicament.

༻❀✿❀༺

 For the last time, it was not a debate, petty dispute nor bickering, but an argument that had never escalated to this point before, not once reaching the climax of their differences like this. They sought to understand differing views, given how polar opposites they were. Good times didn’t last forever.

 Joint research was a common and widespread feat, and this pair of scholars conducted numerous studies throughout the years. This was going to be the same. With the help of other students, they began working, yet despite their best efforts, they fell out due to the failure of the group, and therefore, reality’s slap in the face, or rather the utter disbelief of it.

 Kaveh wanted to ensure an equal and just system, and opportunities for the less fortunate. He dreamed of recognition through his art, and standardization through his benevolence. Alhaitham wanted a similarly just, practical framework. Kaveh called him uncompassionate, repeatedly so. Kaveh wanted to redesign and please and do everyone’s part just to succeed. Alhaitham wanted functionality and contribution from the rest, yet they all failed to meet the expectations. Alhaitham called Kaveh starry-eyed and delusional. Nearly begged him to realize that he cannot save everyone, and that not everyone is like him. 

They were immature. Uncommunicative. Dead set on their own minds - it’s never bothered them, yet it was the painful realization that broke them apart. Kaveh was too far gone, Alhaitham’s attempt to pull him back eventually ripped the very rope that held onto him apart. 

 Back at the House of Daena, they were trying to race the other to the exit. They talked and argued and lost their temper, but neither of them listened.

"This wasn’t the plan! You seriously took everything we did and finalized it in its current state for what? How did you want us to finish this together if you can’t be bothered to take me with you and let me review our collaborative work?"

"I did let you review it and I thought it would be the most fair way to distribute the end results. Yet your beloved partners have overwritten much of it, and look where they are now. You might want to finish it, but I want nothing to do with this project any longer unless you take a look at the conditions we’re in. You didn’t say anything to veto the final decision.” 

"Of course I didn’t say anything. I wanted to let others have a say in it, but clearly you won’t let anyone get a word in. You know this is unfinished! Can you think of anyone else other than yourself? I told you countless times! I told you it was a dream. That it’s important to me...important to me to belong. I wanted to do this with all of you.” 

"And why exactly is it unfinished? Because from what I remember, you called your friends’ input ‘significant,’ didn’t you? Admit it, Kaveh. Your expectations of the mediocrity of others were unrealistic to begin with and I told you–" he drew a deep breath, his voice cracking halfway there, and Kaveh took the chance to interrupt him.

"It was a dream! What part of a fantasy is realistic? Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Nothing I do ever seems to be enough for you! You don’t criticize me because you believe I could do better. You criticize me for the sake of criticizing." His tone became begrudging. Alhaitham could tell every fibre of his being was in complete disarray, and wished Kaveh would see his side; that he really did want the best for his senior, and for the latter to minimize everything...He was hurt. It just made him want to crawl back into his shell and never show his face again.

"You’re wrong, we must not allow our subjective biases to take root in our judgment. Such a plan would have jeopardized the reputation of our research, and thus, we would have received less than sufficient support and funding to carry it out. You have to learn when to let others go when they are pulling you down." Of course he would think of that. He wasn’t wrong, but he was not sensible at all. Amidst the chaos of pent-up bursts of emotion, he had to stay rational.

"Oh, so suddenly you've become accommodating? Caring? Honestly, for someone who can't take a break from being rational, you sure like sucking up to your sages. You’re exactly like the rationality apologists we used to ridicule."

Virtues became double-edged swords. Such was the entourage of loneliness.

"You know that I don’t care what they think. This is my honest belief." he said. The halls were echoing with their coarse disagreements. “That you shouldn’t want to fit in with the rest. You never will.”

"Yeah, clearly you don’t care what anybody thinks. If you actually cared, you wouldn’t have gone and got it over with without my input. And you don’t have to express it like you’re somehow above me."

"Really? And who did you contact about the furnishing dispute? It must have been someone more important and competent, because I was never informed by the decisions you, or anyone else made." The younger scholar was accustomed to Kaveh’s yelling, but this was a different kind of anger. His voice and eyes were sharp and sullen, shooting arrows at Alhaitham’s heart of stone.

"I must have forgotten. Why are you making such a big deal out of it? So you simply wanted to get back at me? Over a small detail you didn’t even care to implement? What gave you the right to trample on everything I worked hard on?”

"No. It was not an attempt to get back at you. Don’t act like you are the only one whose work was mutilated. Whatever irreversible sabotage happened, the damage has been done. Clearly, this highlighted the fact that we simply can’t coexist as people." Alhaitham admitted, cold blooded, his voice hoarse, his ears hurting from the constant ringing. "I wish you understood that you cannot do the best for everyone. You're dragging yourself down and I can't rely on you to make sound decisions in this constant guilt-ridden state of mind. You need to face it, Kaveh. Reality is not a pawn for your guilt."

"Fine, have it your way. I’m done. Let’s not meet up anymore – it fits your reasoning, doesn’t it?" Tears pricked at the ends of his eyes as he collected his things. "I...I don’t even want to see you again." He knew he didn’t mean it, but he wanted nothing more than to leave as soon as he could. "I don’t want to listen to your stupid excuses. I don’t think we will ever understand each other, Alhaitham. Our chosen paths will never cross, isn’t that right?" Kaveh's jaw was trembling. He felt like the more he spoke, the more he exacerbated the situation. The miserable shouting stopped, but Kaveh going mute was the absolute worst case scenario. Alhaitham realized it – his own mouth went dry, the itching in his throat piled up those unwanted coughs and neither of them could speak with clear judgment anymore, but Kaveh’s silence was crucial.

Kaveh stormed away before the twinkling lights in his eyes could form real tears. Those tears were too precious to cry. He didn’t give Alhaitham another chance and slowly waned away.

Alhaitham had to take a moment for himself to sit and think, but his mind was unstoppably echoing the hurt, drilling away his rational justifications. He questioned his methods; he quelled those questions, as if this cycle of denial began anew. But his lips were shaking and the man who had always been analytic to a fault, dissociated into a spiraling breakdown – he has been amassing unrecognized feelings for years, bottling them up like they weren’t worth mentioning. He felt...regret. He couldn’t reach singularity alone.

 Days have passed. Several days. Days transcended into weeks, and before they realized it, they started avoiding each other. The House of Daena was eerily silent; it lacked the lively arguments and make-ups, the mess, the things that gave it life. Without its bickering residents, it was nothing but an ordinary library. Some students would politely attempt to sate their curiousity; both of them rejected such advances. Alhaitham’s unnerved mannerism raised some cynicism, after all. The truth never got out despite being bruited about night and day. Eventually, the gossip faded away too with time.

 The joint research was a success, but it came at the cost of their friendship, if not something more that they could have had in time. It was childish. They held onto their own value systems; Kaveh denied reality and Alhaitham was adamantly grounded in that reality, unable to reach for Kaveh. No compromises. No golden means. The fruit of their brilliance corrupted under pressure.

After everything that happened, Alhaitham didn’t make it to Kaveh’s graduation as he had once promised.

༻❀✿❀༺

 The next time they met, Kaveh was jaded. He was enervated and crestfallen because of his own creation. One day, I will use it as a grand inspiration, I just have to survive first, he told himself at the time of their argument. His voluminous and poignant deed was a confirmation of that statement.

Not long after the liaison of Alhaitham and Kaveh went south for good, a miracle was born out of a vortex of despair. The Palace of Alcazarzaray was nothing short of phenomenal. It was built as a result of a self-destructive endeavor. Just like all great artists, he created the most when he needed to escape from reality.  He just wanted to forget. And before he knew it, he had bigger problems to face than a certain grey-haired social reject.

Everybody adored and revered it, except for him. He was proud only for a short amount of time, and then the elation wore off. Instead of being happy, he was relieved that it’s over. It was the sole reminder of his darkest days. The physical manifestation of an artist’s beguiling misery – even Alhaitham had to admit that it was a job well done. But it’s not like he gatekept the compliments; he was cryptic about it, as he figured Kaveh had already made sense of his mien. If only he could read minds...

Kaveh could do a better job, he would note to himself at the sight of exceptional constructions. Alhaitham understood him, in a way. What he didn’t understand was the reason for this mess he got himself into. Was that palace really worth his livelihood?

 Face to face with his former friend for the first time in well over a year. Alhaitham stood above Kaveh. The twilit sky was rumbling and it drizzled outside. Kaveh was sitting on the stairs of the Palace of Alcazarzaray, trying to find a protective shade beneath the giant leaves and ornamental plants. It was pouring down in torrents, Kaveh’s blond bangs were drenched and stuck to his forehead, his clothing somewhat soaked. He was wearing a blanket around himself, but it could only keep so much rain blocked out. He used the thicker blanket to cover up Mehrak.

"You look pathetic..." the familiar, tall man wrinkled his forehead. He was astonished, after all, to find Kaveh in a place like this, in the state that he was in. Alhaitham had many expectations for Kaveh’s future, but he never really thought that his former friend would end up in such a pitiful situation, even being conscious of the man’s nature. No, in all honesty, Alhaitham was disappointed. Kaveh’s philosophies all pointed toward bettering the world and bettering the people – and he failed to do so, to his own detriment. Now, he was just a man with big words of the past.

Since their Akademiya days, Alhaitham was merely concerned about protecting his status quo. Changing the world was never his cup of tea. It was a role he entrusted to people more capable than him. He was a silent leader, an excellent one. But it was not a life meant for him.

"Outstanding observation. Thank you for stating the obvious." On the verge of tears, his eyes’ whites were highlighted with red veins and he was blinking rapidly to hush the feeling away. "I expected nothing less from the prestigious Scribe. I could give you a round of applause, but I don't think you'd hear it over the sound of downpour."

"I sense contempt in your tone." Alhaitham spared no time for subtlety.

"Really? You’ve got a lot better at picking up cues and became less socially inept, then."

"You still find ways to be cocky on the brink of homelessness." He crossed his arms, more brawny than Kaveh remembered.

"Actually, about that..." he bit his lower lip, pondering on whether he should break the news. His honesty got the best of him at that moment. He had nothing more to lose. "Well, you’re not exactly far off..."

"You really are homeless. Suppose you weren’t just enjoying the storm out here."

Kaveh bit his tongue.

"Why are you here?" he confronted Alhaitham. "What do you want from me, coming to this back of beyond?"

"Call it a whim. I’ve heard rumors about a certain man who sounded an awful lot like you."

"Well, you can take your catastrophe tourism somewhere else. I really don’t need your help," he groaned in an attempt to save his crumbling pride, "you can leave now, and don’t forget to spread more rumors. Add more to it, if you want, it’s not like it matters." he motioned with his wrist left and right.

"Are you sure you’re going to be okay on your own?"

"That..." a deep inhalation, followed by an even deeper exhalation. Just why did Alhaitham have to say something like that, extinguishing the last bit of frisking flame of grudge that kept him warm until now? All that talk of never wanting to see his junior back in their student days, and the same man showed up in front of Kaveh when he was at his lowest. He failed to notice the way Alhaitham's lips parted, as if to say something, stopping mid-thought, before finally revealing his thoughts.

"Stay with me, then." he offered. Without elaborating, it sounded like sarcasm.

"I must have heard that wrong."

"You did not." he confirmed.

"What?" The burned out architect’s voice was filled with disbelief. He listed every question that his confused mind formulated. On the other hand, Alhaitham's mind answered these questions more honestly than he could tell him verbally.

"How does that benefit you in any way? " It really doesn’t.

"What is your ulterior motive?" I just want to.

"No matter how I look at it, you have no reason to house me." Seeing you like this breaks my heart.

"Technically speaking, you’re equally entitled to my residency. There is little I can do about your own housing, since you’re not legally entitled to this type of  apartment, but in consideration of our history, I would tolerate your presence at home. In short...you’re my polar opposite in every way imaginable. What better way to broaden my perspective than having you around? I would still collect rent money from you, but at least you would have a roof above your head. At the end of the day, it’s your call." It was a cruel thing to say, but there was daintiness hidden amidst his wording.

"I... " Kaveh bit his lip. Given his circumstances, it’s not like he had an embarrassment of riches situation; in fact, his life lacked direction. As infuriating as it was, Alhaitham's proposition was nothing but generous, even if things between them had ended on a bad note. It left a bitter taste in Kaveh’s mouth, but the feeling of helplessness prevailed his grudge.

Alhaitham was pitying him. He felt his heart sink. Despite that, Kaveh made his decision.

"Fine. It’s not like I have many options. So..." He muttered quietly, dropping his head. "I might as well become the biggest fool in Sumeru for accepting, but... just, don’t tell anyone. Please." Kaveh got up, grabbed Mehrak and fixed his posture, only to realize that Alhaitham was now taller than him. And if things couldn’t get any more humiliating for him... huffing and catching up to Alhaitham with quick strides did make him feel worse. He limped over next to him, ready to go.

"Didn’t you tell me a moment ago to spread more rumors about you?" he glanced down at Kaveh, heels colliding with the damp ground and stepping carelessly in the shallow puddles.

"Of course this would be the first time your imagination went wild! You did not change a thing!" he snapped. He sneezed, clearly getting sick from the constant exposure to extreme weather conditions.

  On the way, Kaveh wanted to turn back and leave more times than he’d care to admit. Standing in front of his „new” home, he felt ashamed. The storm was representative of his own mind, cluttered with nothing but dark clouds.

"Hey, do you... wish you never met me?" he clutched Alhaitham’s arm with a firm grip the moment he unlocked the door. He really was desperate. Eyes intersecting was a reminder of a fleeting, star-crossed friendship.

"Cut that, Kaveh, you’re getting drunk on melancholia. Don’t get sentimental on me now. I’m not doing you a favor. You will still have to pay rent." he let himself in, but Kaveh stayed outside helplessly.

No, of course I don’t wish that. He couldn’t, no, he refused to speak his mind about it, but Kaveh’s words would echo in his head, entrancing the stoic man.

"Eh, you’re right, I fear..."

"Never in a million years did I think you would agree with me on something. It's quite a noteworthy phenomenon."

"Shut up! I’m at rock bottom. I’m allowed to defy my nature." he retorted.

"And yet, you’re still liable to fly off the handle."

"Still..." he stared at the ground, slouching. He was scratching at his wrist, holding onto Mehrak for emotional support.

"For your own sanity, don’t start cherry-picking joyous memories now. So? Are you going to stand there in the rain, or will you come in and dry up?"

 Entering the house, he was clenching his jaw, he stifled crying at the sight. The vividly lush green shades cramming in his home; and those tame blues; enticing like the day he finished it, inhaling the very scent of fugacious euphoria. But then his jaw dropped. He was disgusted upon seeing the living room.

"Alhaitham, it’s pivotal that you decorate this place. What is this?!" he gasped in shock, appalled at the state of the home he designed. Kaveh covered his mouth with his palm, eyes wide open. "What were you thinking? Maybe I am doing you a favor by fixing this!"

Alhaitham cleared his throat. Kaveh calmed down, placed Mehrak on a table and then sat down in the living room, hands on his thighs, uneasy, while the scribe was feeling more than comfortable getting undressed in a neighbouring room. His body was not at all used to the luxury of having a safe, reposeful haven like this. He would live there from then on, but he also felt like a guest.

"I recall you’re familiar with the interior. I don’t have to introduce it to you, do I?" he wrapped up his wet cloak.

"Is there not only one bedroom?" he asked, a dim recollection slowly rearing its head in his mind.

"Correct. You can use a mattress. I’ll get one for you." he suggested, peeking from the bathroom. "There is a spare room that I don't have any practical use of on my own. You may turn it into your own bedroom...if you have the financial means." He glanced toward Kaveh, then cleared his throat. "In the meantime, you can stay in my room."

"Oh...okay. That works."

"You sound disappointed." raising an eyebrow at him, Kaveh couldn’t not blush.

"No, of course not! I’m actually, uh, grateful."

"Good." he handed Kaveh a towel, and he took it with grace. "Would you be as kind as to not drip on my floor? You look like a drenched mongrel."

"Sure. Oh, here we go again..." he already regretted accepting the offer, but at least it was warm. He had a lot to digest. "I have some stuff at the Akademiya, but I’ll just get them later...actually, I should get them immediately! What if someone sees me entering your house?" the architect’s thoughts would never settle. Once an overthinker, always an overthinker.

"Why is that an issue? Is that not the truth? You live here now."

"You wouldn’t understand!" he muffled his scream with the towel. Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

 Kaveh’s accessorized feather caught Alhaitham’s attention as the man settled in his room and adjusted some things. That shade of teal almost identically matched the colour of Alhaitham’s eyes.

"You still have that feather?" he asked, eyes seemingly mesmerized by the object. Not because of its beauty, but the history behind it.

"Oh, this?" he reached above his head and brushed the downy edges of his feather with the back of his hand. "Sure do."

"Why would you still preserve it after all these years?"

"It looks fashionable, of course!"

"The last thing you should be thinking about right now..." he turned away, smiling. Alhaitham took it as a testament of his unrelenting sentiment. He really didn’t change.

"You don’t get it! It’s the little things."

"You’re right, I don’t get it." He did. He understood.

 If anything, one thing was granted. Alhaitham voluntarily adapted to a new routine that involved Kaveh. He valued routine more than anything.

༻❀✿❀༺

 If someone told Kaveh that they would wind up living together at some point in the future, he would have laughed and jumped off of a cliff(at least that’s what he would have said he would do). Regardless, it was his mundane reality.

Kaveh began implementing new amendments in the household. Scolded Alhaitham for cooking „ugly”  meals. Alhaitham got him a key of his own. But their separate keys would always get mixed up in the pot and Kaveh would have to manually alert the Scribe himself to let him in. Alhaitham gave him more chores than he can count, but the house was always spotless, despite the younger man’s chaotic habits of leaving books in a place or another; and he would be mad at Kaveh for replacing his things. And Kaveh would tell him off for not knowing better by now. Alhaitham would retaliate by knocking extra loudly on his door to wake Kaveh up for coffee. Living together was hard. It became a core part of their lives, though. Rebuilding what they had at the beginning from scratch. It was domestic bliss, to a degree.

It was stupid, insignificant stuff that made Alhaitham question his intentions. At first, he felt pity for Kaveh and then, it morphed into something else. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. The dangers of being emotionally constipated did not threaten Alhaitham. Never did, never will; eventually, though, it will all burst.

 Firstly, Alhaitham was about fifty percent sure about his feelings concerning Kaveh. He was constantly talked at, but not necessarily in an intrusive way. He started over-analysing his interactions with the man.

It represents this artificial version of the future – Kaveh blathered on, and in the meantime, Alhaitham was telling himself to concentrate, remain calm, don’t even listen and it will all go away with time when he recognized those inhibiting sensations striking in his stomach. It was too familiar. Maybe it’s nothing special, maybe it’s just Kaveh. In that case, he simply had to endure what entails.

"Why don’t you ever pay attention to me?" Kaveh wailed, announcing his distress more somber than usual. He was laying on their couch, relaxed. "Honestly, you must hate when I’m talking, so why do you stick around?”

"I don’t hate it when you talk to me. Your voice is the perfect noise to tune out while I read. Is that adequate?"

"What? Am I supposed to thank you for that?" His roommate’s words were dizzying. What does that even mean?

"Yes. If your voice wasn’t compatible, I would simply get up and leave." The corners of his mouth kept rising without realizing. The utterances of his affection came in the shape of backhanded compliments. So that Kaveh would accept them for what they are.

You are my comfort noise, I love not listening to you, but I also love listening to you in a tuned-out manner, because it’s my favourite voice.

"Uh…Gee, okay. At least you’re a little receptive lately. Baby steps. As I was saying..."

 Too many little things that didn’t sit right with him; Kaveh would fall asleep on his work desk. Alhaitham would put a blanket around him. Alhaitham wrote shopping lists that Kaveh didn’t follow; no exception, he always threw in another thing or two as an extra, and Alhaitham wouldn’t mention it after a while. The dumbest inside jokes. Apologizing with food. Accidentally finding out that Kaveh is ticklish. Hugs in eye contacts. Insulting each other’s taste in aesthetics and settling for Kaveh’s pick, anyway. Waiting for Kaveh and making sure he went to sleep in the morning before heading out for work. Nagging just to start a conversation.

Alhaitham said I love yous before he even learned how to say it.

 Secondly, Kaveh once literally got sick from working too much, like a cog in the machine that started collecting rust. Alhaitham couldn’t wrap his mind around it, because all he saw from Kaveh were unfinished drafts and scribbles and abandoned designs that didn’t look half as bad as the architect thought. His roommate noticed that Kaveh was a bit off colour recently, but he didn’t think much of it, until he was directly involved. The ever so busy scribe had to collect the man from the bathroom where he passed out.

He ended up bedridden for an entire week and Alhaitham was forced to take care of his debilitated roommate. Their bin was full of tissues, and suddenly, having no roommate was a horrible nuisance.

"My plans, ugh– I already promised Tighnari that I’ll join him at the tavern, besides, he owes me a rematch after shamelessly getting too lucky last time!" How he still had enough energy to say all that before collapsing was an absolute mystery.

"I won’t hear of you going out and getting yourself in more trouble than you can afford." He dragged and tucked Kaveh back in his own bed. "I won’t nurse you back to health if you act like a spoiled kid. I’m not inclined to put up with more fussing than I’m willing to handle. Even Dusk Birds aren't as noisy as you are."

"And whose fault is it exactly that I’m spoiled?" he squinted. Kaveh expected an objection right away, except he didn’t get that. First, he felt Alhaitham’s cold hand tugging his bangs away and tapping his forehead. It wasn’t fair, because his temperature must have gone up at least two bonus degrees.

"Your own. You keep bothering me until I have no say in the matter but to oblige for just a moment of peace. Also, you have a fever." he said.

"That’s great." The unbridled wailing would not stop. He fell into the pillows. "What am I going to do now? I have way too many things to do!"

"Just wait here." he got up. Kaveh clung to his clothing, but ultimately, the victim sternly took his hand off of himself.

"Where are you going? You’re leaving me here to die? You’re so low, Alhaitham!" he yelled for his roommate to come back. Those sick tantrums were something else. He was way too needy and steadfast. The epitome of a toddler.

 Alhaitham chopped up some ripe fruits for him. As soon as Kaveh caught a glimpse of his roommate walking by the open door, he called out to him again. In his defense, he was sick.

"Alhaitham, I am going to die. Please, bring a sage and let me say my final prayers..." he was sniffing, nose bright red from blowing and rubbing his nose in a torturously uncomfortable fabric at least three times a minute.

"You’re a whole less parasitic when you don’t talk, you know?" he gave him the bowl of Zaytun peach.

"Oh, you saved my life!" the ill man let out a sigh produced by pure delight.

"You owe me at least three lifetimes now." he creased his forehead. "And as far as I can tell, more to come."

"Yeah, whatever, I’m vitamin deficient. I can’t help it." he chomped on the scrumptious peach. He felt like he was in heaven as the sweet fruit melted in his mouth.

"I’m not an Amurta, but I think you’re just braincell deficient." he rolled his eyes (into the sun, if he could). "You ought to take much better care of your well-being."

"I know, you told me at least a hundred times this week!" he coughed violently. Alhaitham patiently waited until he finished. "Are you in love with me or something? It’s a rhetorical question, before you start–"

"I just don’t want to deal with you being this useless ever again." He pierced Kaveh’s eyes with his own. His expression...softened. Kaveh had a supple soul bent to his will. Alhaitham’s acute mind was warped all around Kaveh. "Now, go to sleep."

 Oh, no. Not the eye contact with that useless, tardy, sickly, weak, soft,  gorgeous, beautiful...Well, that had to be at least eighty percent in love, then.

Alhaitham later caught his cold, so that was definitely an experience. He pledged never to babysit an ill Kaveh, but everyone knew – perhaps except for him – that it was not the case. His treacherous heart got the best of him.

 Finally, the realization came crashing down on him, seemingly out of nowhere. Alhaitham prolonged admitting it to himself. His futile attempts to deny it were all in vain.

Kaveh stumbled back to his place, and when he did, he might have been too tired or drunk or something in-between to say anything else but one thing, faintly, between hiccups.

"I’m home."

These words sent Alhaitham spiraling in thought; he could say "I’m back" or go straight to his room without any indicator that he’s back, yet he chose the use the word with such intimacy that it’s hard not to give it a meaning of that nature. He needn’t announce it, yet he does every single time.

He’s home.

Alhaitham wanted to welcome him, and on some braver days, he would, when he was sure that Kaveh wouldn’t remember to start a recrimination over it. The gratification of its simplicity was inimitable.

 Even though they bickered over the smallest deviation in their respective ideologies, Alhaitham found himself circling back to Kaveh each time, looking for more, wanting to hear more – he was seldom intrigued by someone so different. Usually, his opposites weren’t very bright. But Kaveh was different from what he was accustomed to. He didn’t realize it at the time, but Alhaitham would purposefully look for ways to aggravate Kaveh; just to get him to keep talking. During his time at the Akademiya, and even after their inevitable fallout, he found that he was thinking about the architect’s words often. He couldn’t deny his genius, and at the same time, it made no sense to Alhaitham. Why Kaveh, given his abilities, would hold the views that he does, and why his demeanor would be the way that it is...

At first, he would credit this to Kaveh being his perfect mirror. When Kaveh’s looked at a vague landscape, he saw a place of priority, while Alhaitham saw nuclear grass – a place to abolish.

He would wonder if he had thought of anything they could have ever reached common ground on.

Alhaitham is analytic, he rationalizes everything to a fault; he has lived his whole life by guidelines and structures.

There was nothing efficient nor structural about his love for Kaveh.

 Like love was a bug in the system, he was trying to find other explanations for his shift of emotions and physical reactions. It was nostalgic. It was the same heart-wrenching, tear-jerking feeling hoarding itself dormant in his body, the very same. He was confused because he thought this couldn't happen to him. He was confused, because he thought love would be something more...tangible. Concrete. Instead, it’s this bubbly, flushing warmth he couldn’t rationalize.

„Love” was not what he thought it was.

„Love” is covering the sharp part of the table when Kaveh passes so he doesn’t hit his hip.

„Love” is doing a chore Kaveh doesn’t like doing.

„Love” is feeling happy at the innocent mention of Kaveh’s name. Trying to find excuses to complain about him.

Kaveh, Kaveh, Kaveh – why could everything be circled back to him?       

It couldn’t be computed.

This mental meter he kept track of nearly ruptured. He was sure he fell in love with Kaveh.

 That night, Kaveh ended up crashing in Alhaitham’s bed instead of his own, because when he was that drunk, directions made no sense. Directions were man made concepts beyond his comprehension. He rested on his roommate’s bed, sound asleep, the corner of his mouth glistening with drying saliva. Alhaitham sat beside him. He couldn’t resist the urge to caress his hair.

"How do I put it? I think, I think that I hate you a lot less than you believe, after all." he whispered, "No, that does not sound like something you would want to hear right now." he gulped, breathing heavily as he laid down beside the blonde drunkard. It wasn’t the first time that they shared a bed after a particularly drunken night, but it might have been the last. "Later, then. Goodnight, Kaveh." The only response he got was loud snoring. He didn’t mind it.

༻❀✿❀༺

 Fiddling with red hairpins and holding another pair in his mouth, Kaveh was getting ready for the day. Alhaitham was once again reading in the living room. Archons know where he stores all that knowledge, but that wasn’t important; Kaveh was preoccupied by his thoughts. As idyllic as that was, all good things must come to an end.

"So, I was promised a grand deal for this commission." he started, cautiously. "But it’s a lot of work ahead, so I was thinking... let’s switch chores for the month. Yeah, I know you’re not going to like it, but this project is going to wreak havoc on my schedule and I’m well aware you won’t let me just skip them anyway."

No response.

"Hey, will you put that worthless book down? I’m trying to negotiate with you! " he stuck the hairpin sloppily in his hair and pulled Alhaitham’s book out of his hands, and as he did, a mere piece of paper fell out from the pages. Kaveh muttered something under his breath, probably a curse, and immediately picked it up. It was just an old picture, hoarding some dust, and the smooth glaze on the paper print was unclean from the regular fingertips moving it around from one page to another.

Alhaitham closed his eyes for a split second, as if opening them once again would wake him up from an unpleasant dream.

"Alhaitham, what is this?" he rotated the picture that looked way older than it was due to its frequent usage. He blinked rapidly, wondering if his eyes were lying to him.

"Bookmark. Luckily for you, I remember what page I was on." As his roommate became rather weak in the knees, Alhaitham took the picture from him. He was indifferent about the incident and quickly brushed it off with a mostly neutral glance toward Kaveh, eyebrows raised.

"With my graduation portrait on it? You must have been desperate to use something for a bookmark." he laughed heartily, face flushed and his chest suddenly tightening.

"And you're not exempted from your actions either. Did you really think you could draw that many portraits of me and expect me not to question it?"

"How do you– Nevermind that! Don’t try to turn this around on me! Where did you even get that fossil from? Do you realize how embarrassing that picture is?"

"I don’t think that’s your business."

"I’m pretty sure it is." Kaveh asserted, but unavailing. The golden days of yore eroded from Alhaitham’s memory as time went on. Of course he has kept a fond memory. "Anyway...as weird as that is, I’ll just get straight to the point, because it’s more important. If I can pull this work off, I will finally move out and leave you alone." A claim Alhaitham didn’t think he would hear. Not at least for another year, since the slump in Kaveh’s career.

"I see."

"I thought you would be happier. Is it not what you wanted?" he asked, scanning his face for some sort of reaction in anticipation. But there was none to find. Alhaitham is too internal. Nothing could make him generate an instinctual fight-or-flight response.

"Right." He was a vault of dull expressions. Try as he might, Kaveh could hardly make sense of it. He evaded eye contact.

 Moving out. Suppose that was foreseeable. For well over a year, perhaps nearing the second anniversary of sharing a home, Kaveh has been working hard and he has been fiercely ambitious.

"Tighnari gave it to me." Alhaitham said. Dry with apprehension.

"Huh?"

"That friend of yours, Tighnari. I met him one day and he gave me a copy. I didn’t know what to do with it, so I kept it as a bookmark. I thought it would be a waste if I threw it out."

"Very sentimental of you."

Deafening silence fell upon the room.

Life goes on, I guess.

 Kaveh built his personal atelier in Alhaitham’s home. Sometimes he would seclude himself in that room, working night and day on stellar mock-ups, and Alhaitham awaited the moments when Kaveh stepped outside. But when he didn’t, for way too long, his roommate took matters into his own hands. He barged into Kaveh’s room with a plate of biryani and placed it on a sketch of blueprints.

"I couldn’t finish it, so eat." It was no leftover. Freshly ordered takeout.

"I have no appetite...feed it to the cats outside." He gestured toward the corner where he used to feed small, lost animals. "Also, can you learn how to knock on my door? It’s closed for a reason..." he sighed deeply. The delicious scent of food made him jolt up faster than he wanted. His body was betraying him in every sense.

"You’ve been saying that for days. How do you plan on finishing and moving out if you don’t nourish your body and mind?"

"It’s only my third night awake. Don’t worry about me, you never do." he lifted his mug and Alhaitham snatched it out of his hands before the architect’s lips could touch the edges.

Stop worrying about you...? Stop worrying about you? I can barely stop thinking of you.

"How about you don’t drink paint water?" was all he could say. Those weak thoughts could never pass his throat. He would swallow them and let the remnants of them churn in his stomach.

"Let me drink it, at least the poison will take me out." Another self-pitying whine.

"I can take you out myself."

"Really? Just kill me right now, then." He was blighted, sleep-deprived and dark circles were spiraling underneath his eyes.

"You would have been better off performing melodramas at the Zubayr Theatre with how you're acting." He sounded entirely convinced of that.

"Might as well!" he just bashed his head on the desk, groaning. "Why don’t you do something more productive with your time? I mean, I didn’t think overthrowing the government might become one of your hobbies now, but, just, go do that, I guess."

"My life is not hectic and I do not wish for it to be anything like that." As if Kaveh didn’t even hear a word that came out of Alhaitham’s mouth, he proceeded and kept descending into grief. He had a tendency for dwelling and comparing. His roommate found this to be sappy, meaningless; how one could sustain and ward those thoughts was a riddle to him.

"Now you’re a hero, albeit unspoken of, but you are the one who saved Lesser Lord Kusanali. I will be forever in your shadow, Alhaitham. I will never be you. I will never amount to your worth. I want to quit."

"Why now? Everything that you did up until now would lose meaning, wouldn’t it?"

"Ugh...just admit that you want me out of here as soon as possible!"

"That’s not what I said. Instead of putting words in my mouth, you ought to get it together. And put food in your own mouth." he added, nagging him more.

"But I’m not surprised you don’t want me here. I’m not very skilled at debating and talking, either."

"You never shut up."

"Do you think I make sense? That I’m coherent?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"You get your point across, sooner or later."

"That...at least one of us thinks so." he sighed deeply. Kaveh was particularly fractious those days, as if he wanted to abandon it all and stagnate for the rest of his life, even if he has to pay rent forever. "Okay, leave. I will eat, thanks."

"I will, after I made sure you ate. Do you realize how annoying it is to live with you like this?"

 Kaveh creased his forehead and took a bite. Then two. And Alhaitham waited there until Kaveh stuffed his mouth with food, annoyingly.

༻❀✿❀༺

 He did it. He polished it, finished it, his days of toil are over. It was approved. The final building was impeccable, a masterpiece. It couldn’t quite dethrone Alcazarzaray yet, and the construction was still ongoing, but it was a close second in terms of brilliance. The payment was enough to clear his remaining debt and afford his own life. He no longer had to be dependent on Alhaitham, and deep down, he didn’t want to not be dependent on him. Kaveh questioned those conflicting thoughts, thinking how does that make any sense?

"Let’s celebrate your success." Alhaitham said casually. Tomorrow would be the day Kaveh moves out. It was the last evening they spent together as roommates.

"What?" the architect blinked cluelessly. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"We should commemorate this milestone, no?"

"Huh... right! You have a point. I can’t believe I’m saying this, though. Cherish it while you can. But...You’ll pay for my drinks, right?" he asked cautiously, because he knew that Alhaitham didn’t need to anymore. Kaveh was capable enough, but the verdict was, Alhaitham will just pay for both of them.

For old times’ sake and just like always; a mixture of dread and nostalgia. 

 The ambient was classic. Lambad’s tavern. They went out together more often lately, always with friends, always to play TCG and engage in galling gossip. Never one-on-one, except for this one last time. It consisted of Kaveh talking endlessly until his mouth went numb. And this time, they sat next to each other.

 Alhaitham never wanted to be drunk, not like Kaveh. Here he was. Drunk as a skunk at the tavern where they used to „date” back then. Those halcyon times were ephemeral and timeless. Now he was tipsy on its sickening flavor, trying to savor the moments he had left of Kaveh, no, of him and Kaveh, of them.

He became deeply intoxicated, whether because of the alcohol or Kaveh, he couldn’t tell. He suddenly wasn’t in the correct state of mind to be able to think straight(literally). He hated losing control over his own train of thoughts, he truly couldn’t stand it when he lacked complete and utter control.

He glanced at Kaveh’s beautiful hands, he stared at the delicate, rounded nails on his left...that’s what he saw through his own, rose tinted eyes. In reality, he had a rough hand. Between his thumb and pointing finger – dry redness from holding a pencil at all times.

Alhaitham wanted to hold it badly, even if common sense dictated otherwise. He reached out and put his own hand on top of Kaveh’s, but being the pitiful victim of temporary diplopia, he struggled to intertwine their fingers.

His drunk state wasn’t so different to Kaveh’s. Dozing off and subconsciously grabbing Kaveh to make sure he’s still there, absent-mindedly touching his hair as a way to fidget and cope with his impending absence...he was merely missing the scribbling part. Yet his mind was racing with the many faces of his favourite visage and he wished he could write poems about it. 

"This is rather…unexpected. You’re being way too affectionate...and, well, kind." Kaveh whispered. He wasn’t too sure if he should irresponsibly chug a couple of glasses himself. Alhaitham seemed too out of it. "I’ve never actually seen you in such a pathetic position. It’s actually unnerving." he shivered. But he was entertained by Alhaitham.

Kaveh kept stealing glances, too. Eyes locking and unlocking sloppily, dry throats gulping nervously - they were both too honest. 

"Oh, please." Alhaitham implored; very much unlike him. It didn’t even sound like begging, but a call-out. He drank way past his limit just once. Please, don’t go.

"I’m listening?" He had an inkling of what was going on. Wished the man was sober. Alhaitham didn’t have the courtesy to confess there and then. He was in love with Kaveh, but it also has nothing to do with Kaveh. He blamed this agony, it will not budge no matter what. Tomorrow’s forecast is love pollution again, Kusanali bless his heart.

"Nothing." He kept clinging to Kaveh’s hand, catching a finger with his own by accident. Alhaitham’s bated breaths were too honest about his alacrity to finally touch him.

"You’re horrible!" he complained. He really loved holding hands. "You won’t remember anything I tell you, right? I mean, Alhaitham, how many fingers am I holding up?" He held up two fingers like the peace sign.

"Mhm...four." he was growing drowsy, unable to keep his head in place. He leaned on Kaveh’s shoulder to rest.

"Okay, perfect. You know, I don’t really want to go. Truth is, I’ve got used to you, and you’re the worst person I know, but I don’t want to go. I want you to piss me off a little longer..." he sighed. He was pouting at the napping Alhaitham and he couldn’t be mad at him. “You will never know this, but I like you. A lot. Ah, no, that’s totally not what you’d want to hear from me!” He dismissed his rambling, then chugged another beer.

 He wished he had the courage to lie.

 In the morning, Alhaitham woke up with a slight, unfamiliar headache. Nothing a shower and warm drink couldn’t cure, but...the memories of night and the stomach-churning nausea converged in his aching body. He turned on his side and got up, head slouching as he sat at the edge of his bed.

"You look like shit," Kaveh stood at the door of Alhaitham’s room, arms crossed, clearly taking pride in his sobriety, that for once, he wasn’t wasted. One would think he grew up in the process. "Need a hand?"

Alhaitham slid his hand across his cheek and sighed.

"No. Do you?" he got up, looking for acceptable clothes to wear. Kaveh was already dressed in his usual outfit, hair brushed. Every morning, Kaveh would get up earlier to wash his hair. To Alhaitham, it served the sole purpose of letting him know that he can rest for another solid thirty minutes.

"Also no." he was twirling a lock of hair around his pointing finger. "Will you escort me out? I mean, today is your big day."

"My big day?"

"You get to enjoy as much solitude as you wish for from now on."

Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

"Have you packed everything you needed?" he put on some clothing that lay around. He looked at the clock. He barely had four hours of sleep in him; it felt like he was sleepwalking still.

"Yeah, I have. My trusty helper is waiting for me outside. I should get going." His impatience was gnawing on Alhaitham.

"Did you pack the materials you left lying around in the living room as well?" Another question, stalling the conversation.

"Will you stop acting like you’re my mother?" rearing to the top of the bookshelf on tiptoes, he scoffed.

"Yes, yes, you’re a strong and independent man." He walked behind Kaveh and willingly took the book the architect was reaching for down. He lightly smacked it on his head.

"You’re so annoying."

"Mhm." He picked up a box full of tools and handed it over to Kaveh.

 They stepped outside together, Kaveh blabbering about whatever. The birds were chirping and it was a lovely, chilling morning; it tinted Alhaitham’s nose tip a light pink hue. His hair was still messy and widely unkempt, and truth be told, Kaveh liked his bed hair.

The architect gave the box to Tighnari, who volunteered to accompany him on his day off.

"Where– where did I put my keys?!" he panicked, searching through every hole in his clothes, until he found it deep in his pocket. The many accidents of Alhaitham taking his key built up a whole new set of instincts in him. It will take him a while to deconstruct that habit. "Oh...phew... well. If there’s nothing else..."

"I suppose you won’t need this, then." He held his gentle grip on the key that belonged to Kaveh. The architect looked back behind his shoulder and could have sworn that he caught a glimpse of a singular teardrop, but it all might have been just what he wished to see.

"I won’t." he said, shaking his head slightly with a smile.

"Kaveh."

"Yeah?" another glance back at Alhaitham. Another one, and his heart will surely, promptly shatter to pieces. These aluminum butterflies in the stomach hurt twice as much as organic ones.

"You should take the keychain." He held it out for Kaveh. The blond shivered, turned toward Alhaitham by a sole degree, his hand itching to reach out.

"Do you not remember? I bought at least a dozen of them. I have enough for my new keys." he laughed. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Right."

"See you later." he had no excuses left to say.

"Until next time." he waved him goodbye.

༻❀✿❀༺

 Home was vacant. Home wasn’t truly home. Things became unclean faster than he remembered; Kaveh was cleaning them on his own accord. Food tasted bland. And it was also ugly. There was no one to greet him in the mornings, and no one to yell at to go to sleep. Alhaitham accidentally made two cups of coffee in the morning. He had to drink both of them, and he didn’t sleep that night. The nights were too quiet. This time, it was not Kaveh’s hammering that kept him up all night, but the memory of him. Even if they never got to intimate touches and endearments, everything felt empty.

 It had been aeons since they had that conversation about drawing and art for the first time. At some point, Alhaitham did dive into the experience, mindful of the dangers of such territories. The practical and empirical way to find out what exactly it is about drawing that soothes Kaveh was to...draw.

It was ugly. Completely botched. So disfigured. Googly eyes. Imperfect lines. Hair looked like a hayrick. Even he could tell that much. He was sure, if Kaveh saw it, he would laugh at it. What a waste of precious paper. All this just to remember Kaveh. Drawing really did suck.

 But it wasn’t too late to save what they had. Before Kaveh could forget about him forever, Alhaitham had to get a grip and do what his heart told him, not his mind. He thought to himself, even if all of it was for naught, he can get rid of this foul and unruly necrosis that ate away at his heart; that kept him sidetracked for an entire month. Everyone commented that he looked tired. He looked sick. Well, he was, he was very much lovesick.

 The Akademiya organized a grand reunion for all students and professors of all Darshans, and Alhaitham naturally received an invitation letter.

He even put on a more formal attire to match the occasion, in high hopes of running into a certain somebody. The event was brimming with spirited table talk. He was entirely sure that he would show up, and of course, he did. Elegant in the early afternoon, enjoying himself under the dim outdoor lights. Kaveh...his appearance was more beautiful, more ethereal, more heavenly, more angelic, more bright – so bright that it might have made him go blind if he stared at him for too long. He hated to see him smile and laugh so insouciantly – it could only mean that he was doing great without him around. He was absolutely glowing. A fastidious chaos, he was effortlessly beautiful. Alhaitham might need an organ insurance – his heart was about to explode.

It didn’t take long before Kaveh spotted the ever so awkward Alhaitham loitering around, aimlessly. Across the crowded yard, through the clamor, they found each other’s eyes.

"Oh! Good to see you here, Alhaitham!" he greeted his...former roommate.

"The feeling is mutual. Has life been gracious to you?" he inquired.

"It's barely been a month! And to think, you called me dramatic back then. Look at us now – how the tables have turned." He laughed with a teasing smile. That smile was sending warm pulsations up Alhaitham’s neck.

"I will take that as a yes."

"I didn’t even say anything. You’re losing your shrewdness, Acting Grand Sage. If you’re not careful, people will think you’re actually going dement." He teased Alhaitham some more, but Alhaitham lacked the urge to talk back. He never was expressive, but he was gloomy.

"Come to think of it. Why are you here? I thought you hated these pretentious events."

"I do hate them." 

"So? What sort of deviousness brought you here?"

Felt aghast that I will never see you again.

"I wanted to talk to you." His tense aura finally alleviated and he felt more at ease. Kaveh got startled.

"Will you approve my funding requests?" His excitable voice almost made Alhaitham say yes. "Actually, I’m here for the same reason. Let’s go to the Daena for a nostalgia trip, what do you say?" he fondled Alhaitham’s shoulder and led the way.

"Sure," he agreed; not that he could say no to eyes like his.

 Kaveh held onto Mehrak, delicately, then placed the machine beside his chair. He took a seat comfortably, and Alhaitham kept a distance and stood, his visage shadowed by the towering shelves. The dull, joyful music infiltrated the interiors. He was reading the titles of countless books, caressing their spines yonderly.

"She’s my first memory of you, you know?"

"Well, my first memory of you is when you decided to break library rules."

"So. Unromantic. Insensitive!" he scolded Alhaitham once again, "Fine! Correction: she’s my first memory of us. In a way... It was the first and perhaps last time you complimented me about my technicalities. I...hate to admit it, but I crave your validation more than I let on."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I think I fell for you then." he said, expecting nothing but a firm rejection as he looked up at Alhaitham. A firework in the distance was fired off outside. Just one momentum and a bang; first-hand clearance.

"Me too." he simply stood there, as if waiting for a miracle to get him moving. Kaveh didn’t say anything. Whether he heard it or not was between him and Celestia.

"Don’t you wish things were like back then?" he broke the silence. "When we were just students."

"Looking back should only be done in moderation."

 Reminiscing about their erstwhile history, he remembered it as clear as day, he never once forgot about the tiniest of details. He could recall the exact words he spoke and the ones he regretted the most and the lectures he cherished. Not being around Kaveh forced him to grow. He still couldn’t say he understood art and music, but learned to understand that they bring Kaveh the joy he couldn’t. He reenacted the scene in his head with newfound maturity. It was unlike him. His words were lies; he looked back more than he ever wanted.

"Of course you would say that. How pertinent." He propped his chin up on his palm and stared into nothingness. All that beauty around them and he couldn’t pay attention. The sound of melody got lost before it could reach Kaveh’s heart. Alhaitham always got there sooner.

"I never wanted you gone."

Kaveh suddenly broke his meditative state, gaze fixated on Alhaitham, and the man with his specifically delicately kempt appearance unfolded as a sweet nocturnal limerence in his eyes. Alhaitham saying something as vulnerable as that was terrifying enough to himself, and it terrified Kaveh, because it meant Alhaitham wasn’t happy. He knew he shouldn’t be so invested in what he feels like, but it was all too late. He cared. Cared, cared, cared.

"You never told me."

"I tried to." Admittedly, he did. He did, but it wasn’t enough. He knew he had to be honest for Kaveh.

"Tried to? You do know that you can’t just...act like this and get what you want, right?"

"But you’re all I want," he blurted out, then gulped, almost choking on the suffocating ball of saliva. "Forget that. All I need. I made the mistake of fermenting on things I don’t understand. By the time I understood its meaning, you slipped out of my hands." His pulse was rushing. That’s the most emotion he’s ever displayed in front of Kaveh, the most candid he had ever been. He swallowed his pride and lucidly voiced his innermost conscience.

"How can you say that now?" The headache behind ardent eyes kept pounding more and more, building up with tears. His voice was hoarse and he held back crying in his throat.

"I’m sorry I’m late. I like...the way we lived, just the two of us. I don’t want you to move out. I won’t have you around to keep me sharp."

"I... didn’t want to go either," he confessed after a moment of hesitation, "but you were so unsure of your own feelings. I didn’t want to be toyed with. And...I’m not sure I’m comfortable knowing that I invoke such...strong emotions in you. I have a lot to live up to and I’ve been struggling to do that my whole life."

"You never had to live up to anything except for your own standards. I don’t expect you to be something you’re not."

"Why?"

"Well, because I love you. On purpose."

"You–! H-How can you say something like that so nonchalantly?" he recoiled, getting up all of the sudden. It was a big deal to Kaveh, after all. Alhaitham paid no particular attention to the way he delivered the words that held such impassioned significance. He was deadpan, but he was heartfelt. The confession was authentic, true to himself in every way; it sounded bizarre and calculated. "That’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me," he blurted out, nearly sobbing.

"I’m just saying....Kaveh, are you alright?" he took an uncertain step forward. Alhaitham’s normally confident body language ceased to exist in that moment.

"Am I alright? Why you took me in. What there is to gain. I understood. Your actions have always defied your words. But I couldn’t say it either."

"Before I could put it into words, I realized–" Alhaitham started.

"That I miss you." Kaveh finished. Alhaitham had no objections.

Alhaitham merely wanted to wrap him close, see the red, quaint comet in his eyes, get drenched in his touch and feel elated. He had to say something. Anything. He didn’t have the time to sort his words and thoughts into five different categories. That man had always been too implicit.

"I doubt this alone will suffice to capture your heart, but I wouldn’t exactly call that house a home without you in it."

 Alhaitham might have been the Acting Grand Sage(for the time being, anyway), but Kaveh stood there with grandeur impossible for another human to incarnate quite as flawlessly. A sun flare was cowering behind Kaveh, blurring his shoulder’s outline as he turned around to face the love of his life. The golden hour coloured him slender, translucent and delicate; a sight for no other to behold.

He slid an inch toward Alhaitham, clenching his fist and fiddling with his thumb out of nervousness. He wasn’t this nervous defending his thesis. Something was lingering in his guts this time. Maybe it was time to admit that he was a burned out, hopeless romantic, after all. Alhaitham offered Kaveh his hand, and following the ever-lasting dazzle from beyond the coloured windows, he fell in his solemn embrace. It was a messy hug. He almost had to resort to dragging Kaveh away from the spot he was frozen at, but Alhaitham’s warm touch slowly thawed him out of awe.

Kaveh shook his head, happy to see Alhaitham up close. Perhaps the first time he would admit to that.

"That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard."

"Really? I thought you wanted me to be more romantic."

"Actually, I’d rather you don’t change either. This must be a dream." He teared up. Normally, Kaveh would storm out before tears could fall from his eyes, but these weren’t angry nor sorrowful tears. "So, you...like me? You really do?"

"I’m a little wary, but so far, yes."

"What was that?" he turned his ear toward Alhaitham.

"I believe you heard it crystal clear."

"Okay, I get it, that sounds more like you." He sounded relieved for some reason. "I just…never thought you would actually man up and confess. I’ve past accepted that we’ll always be just this third thing, not friends, and not anything more, not on paper, anyway, but something in-between. It’s...complicated," he started rambling again.

"I...yeah." He bit his tongue. Love was all about small compromises, after all. Took him long enough to see.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me again," he taunted Alhaitham friskily. That grey haired mess was rendered speechless and incompetent. He couldn’t say anything but the truth.

"Okay. I do like you. Well, sometimes I don’t like you, but I always love you."

"I do, too." he smiled brightly; brighter than a star in the night sky. The nuances lied in the ways Alhaitham couldn’t convey. Years of training in the art of language, and yet he stood at a dead end trying to describe such a sublime smile. He would comply with „ineffable.”

"Can you make it sound less like marriage vows?" he averted his eyes.

"No, absolutely not, in fact –" he was cut off by the man’s closeness and his words turned into a gasp. Alhaitham approached Kaveh’s face with hesitation, hand on his cheekbones and touching the arch beneath his eyebrow. His heart was beating in his throat.

"You talk too much." Alhaitham held Kaveh firmly by his delicate jaw; he’s never seen him that flustered and utterly bothered before. His puffy cheeks were flushed with red emotion and his eyes were shut and his eyelashes were fluttering skittishly. He opened his mouth to complain after waiting for longer than a second – of course it made sense, after waiting for him for so long –, only for Alhaitham to latch onto his fidgeting, shivering lips at once.

As he held Kaveh in a tight hug, if you can call that sloppy thing a hug, he kept pushing him toward the shelves. While Kaveh couldn’t multitask and stop him from touching up his waist, Alhaitham slipped the old key in his pocket.

Sealing the unforgiving, unremovable passion at the very place they met meant everything. It was only natural – to find a way to relive good times and do what they always wished they did in their golden days.