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Class 1-A approached the shiny new UA Barrier shoulder-to-shoulder, or they did until a large hot hand landed on Shoto.
‘Shoto,’ Endeavor said, a remorseful look gleamed in his eye that had been present since they woke up in hospital. ‘We should hang back with Hawks for a bit. At least until the situation with Deku has been resolved.’
Shoto looked at the rest of his class. Ectoplasm greeted them at the entrance and opened a small door for them to walk through. They hadn’t even noticed he’d lagged behind.
‘But Midoriya—’ he tried.
‘It’s going to be difficult enough to convince the refugees that it’s safe for Deku to return. Our presence won’t do any good. You can’t help him right now, Shoto.’
Those last words sucker punched his gut harder than his brother had.
As his friends filed through the tunnel into UA, Ectoplasm glanced at the trio. He gave them a knowing nod and followed after the students. It was an unspoken agreement amongst the pros that Endeavor and anyone else connected to Dabi’s society-shattering broadcast stay as far away from the general public as much as possible. Of course, that also included Shoto. Somehow despite the lockdown, Shoto had found himself under an even stricter one than his peers. He’d been pulled aside by the pros and told under no circumstances was he to leave the dorm building. There was every possibility he could be spotted and attacked by a scornful refugee; it had already happened to Endeavor several times. His mother and siblings had been taken to a separate part of UA from the public—a kind of ‘protective custody’ they’d called it—to keep them safe. He was amazed they’d allowed him to join in the search for Midoriya, not that he’d given them much of a choice.
Heavy metal shutters clamped down with a loud CLANG and the doors to UA were locked once more. His father was right, he couldn’t help Midoriya. Not with his name, his blood , hanging over them. Shoto gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, anything to hold back his anger. He wanted to run to Midoriya’s side, hold him tight, and fight off anyone who tried to protest his return. He wanted to help his friend, because as he’d watched the other walking away, he realised,
he’d never actually helped his friend before.
Almost a full year of Shoto unloading all his family crap onto Midoriya’s offering shoulders, almost a full year of Midoriya lightening his load, and Shoto hadn’t once done the same for him. And it had become so painfully clear over the past few weeks just how heavy the burden Midoriya was already carrying was. And then Shoto had come along with no regard for the older teen’s well-being and forced him to carry even more. Even Bakugo, the aggressive, borderline bully, and rival to Midoriya, had been helping to lessen the weight on his shoulders while Shoto hadn’t even asked Midoriya if he was okay.
Shoto was an awful friend.
He heard Uraraka shouting through a megaphone, rallying the people behind Midoriya. Her words twisted his heart in knots. In a tiny corner of Shoto’s mind, the selfish part of him was screaming for that same attention. He wanted his friends to be shouting out on his behalf, wanted his friends to stand behind him and convince people to stop harassing his family. But the larger, more rational part of Shoto’s mind had to keep reminding him,
while there was still a chance for Midoriya, Shoto was a lost cause.
Because he wasn’t just Todoroki Shoto to them anymore, and he was stupid for thinking that he could be just that. All throughout his school life, he’d always been ‘the son of Endeavor’ to everyone. He wasn’t a person in most people’s eyes. Almost everyone he’d met in his life had already had a preconceived notion about him that was near-impossible to break. No one would speak to him in middle-school, just about him. He’d never been treated like a person, just a figurehead for kids with famous parents. Midoriya had been the one to break that image and finally discover the person that Todoroki Shoto was, but Dabi’s broadcast had ripped that all away once more.
He wasn’t a person anymore. To his friends, he was a victim of a crocked hero society. The kind you would hear about on the news and think ‘aww how sad’ before going on about your day and forgetting all about it. His face had been plastered all over the news. Leaks from former Endeavor employees had added fuel to the already blazing fire of accusations against the number one hero. All over the internet were theories as to how he’d gotten his scar and if he was secretly in alliance with Dabi all along. There was even a viral reddit post from an anonymous kid that was in his class in middle-school, telling the world what he was really like behind closed doors. It was impossible to look at Shoto like he was a person with feelings, and he knew that because as they’d all walked back into UA together, not one of them looked back at him.
There had always been a gaping distance between him and the rest of the class. It had become ever more present when he’d failed the licensing exam and they’d all run out into the world of heroes and left him behind. The chasm had grown even bigger now, and Shoto was locked away on the other side, waiting and begging to be granted passage.
And then there was the public perception. Endeavor was the main brunt of people’s blame and anger, but there was a fast-growing trend of people who believed that if Endeavor’s perfect son hadn’t been born, the hero society would still be intact, Dabi wouldn’t be a villain, and Endeavor would be an admired hero. Shoto agreed; he always had. He’d been telling himself for years that if he’d never been born, Touya would still be Touya, his siblings would’ve had their mother around for their childhood, and maybe Endeavor would’ve been a bit nicer towards them. He’d known it all along but hearing everyone else agree made him want to shrivel up and die.
Shoto was an idiot for thinking he could ever be a person like everyone else, that he could be a hero that would put people at ease. His existence had and probably always would be problematic. Even if they beat Shigaraki and All For One, he doubted this feeling would ever go away. His name was tainted in the eyes of the public, and pitied in the eyes of his friends.
And there was still Dabi to worry about. He would have to face his brother again at some point. He may never even get a chance to make it as a pro hero if Dabi finishes him off in their next battle. Shoto chuckled.
‘Everything alright, Shoto-kun?’ Hawks said.
‘Yeah, it’s nothing.’
Of course, it was almost certain that either one or both brothers would perish when they next meet. Dabi was stronger than Shoto. The only reason he was still alive to stare at the locked UA Barrier was because Endeavor hadn’t stayed conscious long enough for Dabi to kill him.
Yes, he was probably going to die in their next fight, and Shoto thought that was probably okay. Maybe he deserved it.