Work Text:
Tzuyu's heart feels like it’s slowly getting ripped out of her chest. It’s not painful, just uncomfortable and she wishes it would stop because it would make everything better. It’d be so much easier to focus on her novel if there wasn’t this constant pressure on her heart making her want to cry or scream or both. It sucks and nothing can describe that feeling of failure she endures. Tzuyu is normally good at thinking logically. She is certainly not the smartest, but she was never the type of person to get emotional or extremely pessimistic or optimistic, no. She was good at thinking rationally and logically because that made the most sense to her. It still does but right now, she just can’t. Because the only thing that’s on her mind is that she will never write anything that’s close to readable in her life again. And if she can’t write, she can’t escape, she can’t make money, she can’t be creative and pour her heart out. She can’t scream out of joy when feeling that a sentence turned out good. No, because writing is the only thing that she’s good at. Well, she’s good at other things too but writing? Urgh writing. It’s the only thing that brings her happiness, or so she feels like right now, banging her head against the table over and over again.
"Just this scene. You just need to write this scene." she whispers to herself. And then again. She repeats it until it’s engraved in her brain. She doesn’t let the thought go because she can’t. She needs to write something good now.
"Tzu?" A light knock on the door pulls her out of the never ending cycle of failure and hating. Tzu gets up to unlock the door. She always locks the door to her office room, when she needs to focus.
Chaeyoung, Tzuyu's girlfriend, waits for her in the hallway.
"I made you food." She says proudly. A big smile on her face. Chaeyoung is the girl that keeps Tzuyu happy. She’s the one that always makes everything better. No matter the situation, Chaeyoung lightens up the mood, especially for Tzuyu. From the moment they met, Tzuyu couldn’t stop falling for this girl. But it was never painful. No, because Chaeyoung made sure that everybody felt good. Tzuyu felt good with Chaeyoung close, so both of them made sure to do exactly that. Stay close to each other. Help each other. Be there for each other. Tzuyu's eyes fill with tears. She looks down, drops of tears falling down on the hardwood flooring of their apartment.
"Tzu." Chaeyoung's sweet voice fights back her girlfriend’s sadness. She puts the plate with lovely prepared sandwiches down and hugs Tzuyu tightly.
"What’s wrong?" Chaeyoung asks.
"Just- writer’s block." Tzuyu sobs. "Or more."
"Tell me about it." Chaeyoung softly pulls her back into Tzu‘s office and onto her couch. She gently wipes away her tears, drying her cheeks.
"I feel like I’ll never write anything remotely good. Because I’m so stuck on this one scene."
It’s hard for Tzuyu to breathe. But she keeps on talking. The words just want to get out.
"And this happens so fucking often. But every time I feel like it’s different and that this time I really forgot how to be a good writer." Tzuyu sobs and stutters and she cries even harder whenever she looks at Chaeyoung. When she locks eyes with the person that she loves so so much.
"Tzu. I wish I could help."
Tzuyu shakes her head. No. She can’t help. But Chaeyoung knows that, so she gets close again. Holds her tight again. Feeling Chaeyoung's touch on her arms and her back makes her body heat up.
"It’s okay Chae. Really. Just stay with me please." A small part of her feels dumb. She never wants to rely so much on other people. So she wipes away her own tears, swallows down the pain, and smiles. A weary one, but she tries. And Chaeyoung does the same.
"Take a break, babe."
Tzuyu nods, before gently kissing Chaeyoung. She can only feel lucky to have such a supportive girlfriend by her side. An honest smile rushes over Tzuyu's lips.