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It took Jade a week to corner Uea alone and that was a weird reality he found himself in.
Previously, even during the early lovey-dovey stages of Uea's various relationships, getting him alone for a private talk hadn't been a challenge. They had their working hours to use, the lunchtime, the after-work hours and obviously the weekends. Yes, Uea liked to have his free time dedicated to whatever boyfriend he had at the time, as he tended to fall deeply in love with each of them, but he was also a quiet introvert who valued his space. If he had been scheduled for an evening out with a boyfriend then he always had the morning for Jade.
Yet that wasn't the case after King entered the stage. Once again weird.
Ever since Uea and King came back from Lampang last week, they had been attached to the hip. They arrived together, had lunch together (with Jade by their side, but he wasn't having serious conversations with King present, thank you very much) and then they'd leave together. Apparently, they would spend their entire time with each other and Uea of the past never did that! And it was frustrating Jade to no end because he needed answers and he knew King wasn't going to provide them and he had his own boyfriend to go back to every day now that they had moved in together.
So, yes. He sort of understood but was still baffled. It was King and Uea. Uea and King. It didn’t make sense. Last time he had checked they were at each others’ throats five minutes after entering the same room. Now, he supposed they also were, though for different reasons and he refused to think about that.
All that was why he found it so fucking annoying that he couldn't get Uea alone to sit him down and demand answers.
Until, one day, a week after they had returned to the company, the programmers ended up called into an urgent meeting right before their lunch hour and Jade got Uea all to himself.
As they sat together in one of the nearby restaurants waiting for their food to be delivered, Jade wondered where to start. Obviously, there was so much that he hadn't been let in on that to some extent he even felt hurt for being left out. But on the other hand, he still wasn't sure how much he wanted to know about their apparent friends-with-benefits relationship. Well, probably not a lot. Only the most basic of basics - how, why and since when.
He remembered King saying that they'd been doing it for a year yet Jade was certain he would have seen the change in their relationship if that was the case. Which fucked up the timeline even more because clearly they had grown close enough to start dating and he never noticed? Were they great actors? Or had they absolutely never ever done anything when the three of them were together and that’s why he stayed non the wiser?
A pang of guilt pierced his heart at the next thought. Had he been too preoccupied with Mai to notice anything? Should he have been paying more attention, especially since he was the only person to know how much bad luck Uea seemed to attract? Were there other things he had simply never noticed because he was trying to make himself believe he wasn't slowly falling for the one guy he tried to set Uea up with? Things that Uea didn't tell him, because he hadn't been there for him?
Did he tell those things to King of all the people?!
Scratch all the previous instances when he thought Uea's new relationship status was weird. This took the cake.
"Hey, Uea…" he started weakly after the waitress delivered their orders and glanced up from his bowl of pulled noodles that were obviously too spicy with how red the broth looked. "It's nice hanging out like that, right? With just the two of us? We haven't done that in a while."
Immediately after those words left his lips, he realised that he could have phrased it all better because when Uea looked up from his phone (was he texting King even though the other was in a meeting still???) guilt was marrying his pretty features.
"You're right. I'm sorry. I should have…"
"No! That’s not what I…" Jade interrupted loudly, swishing his chopsticks through the air and sending a splash of broth all around them. A drop landed on Uea's cheek, who wiped it off swiftly. "I don't blame you.” He followed quickly, reaching for a napkin to clean the mess he had caused and ending up with a greasy film on the screen of his phone. “It's not like I was particularly pushy about us hanging out together, either."
"I guess we were all otherwise preoccupied." Uea's words were slow, deliberate in a way and Jade felt another pang of guilt. He was right after all if even Uea was admitting to that.
"Some more than others, from what I heard." Still, he tried his best to elevate the approaching gloomy atmosphere with teasing. He had learned from the best the curious art of it and honestly, he didn’t get enough chances to utilize his skill. And he didn’t want to point fingers, not eat Uea and not at himself (maybe at King, but he wasn’t present so that wouldn’t be particularly fun), but he couldn't help but cross his greasy hands stubbornly across his chest. "And for a year too."
"Yes, helping Mai get his point across felt like it took just that long." Uea agreed, sipping his water in the unfairly graceful way with which he did everything and Jade's brain sizzled. He had no comeback to that. Apparently, Uea was a better student than he was.
"You're so mean," Jade grumbled and took a comforting bite of his now perfectly warm noodles. And perfectly warm those might be, but the spiciness of that first bite almost killed him. "I blame it all on King."
It earned him a fond smile from Uea, which was at least some sort of consolation, especially since his favourite comfort wasn’t all that comforting. All he could taste was the way his tongue was burning.
"What do you say we ditch them both soon and go out together?” Seemingly content with his own food, and decidedly not too put off by the topic, Uea suggested and Jade finally got his opening. “I know you have tons of gossip you're dying to share."
"’Bout that…" Jade chewed slowly as he searched for words. "I'm a bit confused, you know. How it all happened between you and King and everything.” Was it only his imagination or was he lisping through his words? “Last time I checked you two couldn't stand to be in the same room for five minutes without breaking into a fight and now you're dating? After a year if you-know-what?” Conscious of his friend's private nature, Jade remembered to lower his voice before the end of his sentence and only then did he reach for his iced strawberry tea to wash away the residue burn.
"I… We're not dating, though." Uea denied, working his lower lip with his teeth, to which Jade rolled his eyes.
"Suuuure. Remind me again - how long did you two stay together in Lampang? Oh! And didn’t I have to stop him from jumping onto the first plane to Lampang when he learned you wanted me to hand in your resignation letter? And was that before or after you apparently got all jealous because his mum tried to matchmake him?" Why were his friends being so stubbornly confusing? It was giving Jade a headache and now he craved a nice boba that could soothe all his sufferings better than anything else could. At least Mai was much more forward. Honestly, he wasn't sure if having to break up their fights every five minutes hadn't been better than whatever this mumbo jumbo was. Because, yes, he had gathered that they weren’t dating dating, but normal people didn’t do things like that. Make it a plot of a series maybe, but real life? Nope.
He glanced over the rim of his drinking glass at Uea, who was deliberately not looking at him, eyes glued to the remnants of rice left on his plate. Before Uea could reply though his phone chimed. He reached for it quickly and Jade was certain he had lost his opportunity. Based on the look on his best friend's face it was in fact his not-boyfriend messaging.
With a groan, he plopped face down onto the table, almost sending the bottle of soy sauce, which stood in the middle of the table for all guests to use, flying with his impact. He was done with his food tough - it was tasteless and not worth the money he had spent on it. He'd have to get himself a nice pastry on the way back to survive the rest of the day.
"We should head back if you're done eating," Uea said, suddenly setting his phone aside and rummaging through his bag.
With a frown, Jade checked his watch. They still had plenty of time before their break ended, enough to eat the rest of their tasteless food, pop into a bakery and walk back in. "Why? Did something happen?" He sat up, worry painted all across his expression as he watched his best friend grab something from deep inside his bag.
But Uea was already raising from his seat and Jade had to turn around to keep his eyes on him. "They're almost done with the meeting. I'm gonna order something for King and we can talk on the way back." And with that, he was gone a wallet clasped in his hand. Jade blinked several times bewildered and slowly turned back to his food. Well, it was awful, but all the restaurants around their office building sucked and he had paid for it, and Uea seemed to be in a hurry to meet with his not-boyfriend so he’d better eat before Uea came back and decided they didn’t have time to stop by a bakery.
"Not dating, my ass," he scoffed shuffling the now completely cold noodles into his mouth.
Less than ten minutes later they were on their way back to the office, a heavy takeout bag swinging from Uea's hand as they walked. And just as Jade had predicted Uea was rushing. It had taken a lot of Jade’s begging and crying to have him wait as he’d stopped at a cart that sold drinks and snacks that was literally right outside the restaurant they just left.
"So," Jade started again, swirling the boba to mix all the flavours together. "I don't want any details, that's literally why I'm asking you and not King..." At a sole thought, Jade had to suppress a shiver. If he had done it and asked King, who would have been more than happy to talk about his apparently second favourite person in the world, he would have learned way too much about their sexual life AGAINST his will. No, thank you. He didn't need to know what type of sounds or faces Uea made. And he knew King would overshare if only to be a teasing kind of a dick.
From the corner of his eye, Jade observed how Uea clenched his hand on the strap of his bag and honestly, it made him feel kinda bad. Maybe, in the end, he didn't have any right to know how both of his best friends overcame their antagonistic tendencies and fell in love. He was just an outsider after all. Their mutual friend, but that was just it. He opened his mouth to apologise and take back his question when Uea finally replied.
"Did you know that we actually met before you introduced us?"
"Huh?" Jade gasped in surprise and only just avoided tripping over his feet and losing his treasured drink. "As in before we became roommates?" He tried to make sure he understood the timeline well.
"No." Uea shook his head. " We were already in college at that time, but King and I met in a bar before he first came to visit you. As you can imagine it didn't go well." His voice, surprisingly, still carried a bit of fondness as though he was revisiting an old, but happy memory.
"You mean, he hit on you and you didn't want his attention?" Now, Jade was intrigued. He couldn't believe that they had kept that from him for so long when it finally explained all the confusing things about King and Uea.
"Also no." Ah, that wasn’t helping Jade understand anything better after all. He pouted and sipped on his drink without saying anything back.
"He did hit on me,” Uea admitted and it was his turn to glance at Jade to check his reaction, “but I was fine with his attention. It was right after I broke up with Guy and I thought to hell with it. What's the harm in a one-night stand?" He even had the audacity to chuckle at his confession.
"What?!” Jade almost choked on one of the pearls he was working on with his teeth. “You wanted to have sex with him when you first met?!" The pearl, fortunately, didn’t get stuck in his throat, but he still coughed several times, in between his words, and had to stop to compose himself.
Uea, who took two more steps turned around and glared, his face completely red in embarrassment. "Hush! Do you have to shout like that?" His words may have been harsh, but he still reached into his bag for a tissue which he then handed to Jade who was still coughing and wheezing in the middle of the walkway. "Honestly, what's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me?" Jade almost spat out his words, though he lowered the volume, still frozen where he stood as he used the tissue to wipe around his mouth. "You just told me you had almost done the deed with my best friend almost ten years ago! So what's wrong with you? The Uea I know wouldn't do something like that."
"Well, I didn't then." Ueasvoice sounded grumpier now, as though he wasn't happy to be admitting to that at all, and honestly, Jade kinda understood. "He was already with someone else that evening." Uea shrugged and Jade nodded finally understanding.
Now composed and sort of clean, Jade grabbed his arm and pulled them in the direction of their office building clearing his sore throat with more tea. "So that's why you hated him from the start. I always wondered you know? Cause you never acted this cold towards anyone else we knew, except for your exes and it seemed like you hated King simply because he chose to exist where you could see him."
"Can you blame me, though?” Jade could feel that Uea shrugged. “I was heartbroken because a guy I actually had feelings for cheated on me, and as soon as I thought I wouldn't mind getting to know a handsome stranger a little bit more he turned around to make out with someone else.”
Uea’s voice turned quieter and Jade knew he was going to be hearing things he’d rather not. Or at least things he’d hope Uea would never feel or think. “I was disgusted. With both of us. I thought there must have been something really wrong with me since I only seemed to attract players." Uea, honestly, had a point. Of course, Jade as King's friend since kindergarten had always felt that King's approach was different, but he understood him. Even when his no-dating rules backfired and someone tried to pressure King into staying, Jade understood that King had been upfront from the beginning. But he could also imagine what it had looked like to an outsider who didn't have all the information.
He stayed silent, though. He didn't know what to say to Uea, because his bad luck when it came to lovers was a fact and even Jade could tell that some of his boyfriends had felt iffy, to say the least. Not all of them, but the sheer number of guys who had cheated on Uea was unreal. For Uea Anon Nanthaphiwat was an embodiment of perfection. He was just so so so pretty and graceful and kind and lovable that Jade had trouble even imagining being mean to him let alone pursuing another person while someone had the privilege of calling him theirs.
But Jade was also aware that Uea was troubled and while he didn't want to blame Uea, he supposed maybe that was part of the reason. He was slow to open up, treasured his seven-story tall brick wall and never allowed anyone in without a background check so to speak. It could have potentially been why so many people who got attracted to his lovely face decided to look for someone easier before Uea granted them his everything. Idiots, the lot of them.
“But, yes… That’s why I couldn’t even look at him without my hackles raising.” A sigh that left Uea’s lips almost broke Jade’s heart. It was so sad and self-depreciatory that he wanted to shake him hard until he finally understood that all the bad things that had happened to him weren’t his fault. He chose to violently shake his arm instead. It made Uea smile.
“And then you started working together and you only hated each other for another three years, before becoming all lovey-dovey and madly in love?” He urged in a sing-a-song voice, wanting to turn the subject into a nicer direction. It worked. Sort of, as Uea freed his arm from his grasp and slung it around Jade’s shoulders.
“Not really. We’re not dating and we’re neither of those things.” Apparently, Uea refused to admit to the simpler things just as stubbornly as he did with the more complicated matters.
“Fine. Have it your way.” Jade decided that it was going to be easier to go with whatever Uea preferred. “How come you agreed to be friends with benefits, then?” The tall building that held their company was now in plain view, though on the other side of the street, and Jade was running out of time.
“We had a mishap at Mai’s welcoming party.” The choice of words made Jade squint his eyes. If he recalled correctly, very soon after Mai had started working with them, Uea’s overall mood had taken a turn for the worse. Even he had been too afraid to approach him on most days. Back then he couldn’t get all the details, or any for that matter, but Uea had been visibly unwell. Was that somehow connected? He didn’t like it at all.
“Please tell me King didn’t do anything stupid like take advantage of you,” he groaned already predicting the answer. but praying that he was wrong. “I will have to hurt him if he did.”
“He didn’t.” Uea rushed to deny it with surprising vehemence. “If anyone took advantage of the other person then it was me.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Jade deadpanned sceptically. He knew them both all too well. So he used the arm closest to Uea to hug him tight to his side.
“But that’s the truth. I didn’t even know who I was with. All I knew was that my life was terrible and I wanted to forget all about my problems.” More of those self-depreciatory sighs followed and Jade’s fractured heart shattered even more. “But I acted as though it was his fault and he still tried to make amends. He took me to the hospital to see my mum and drove me to get my blood tested. He even took me to dinner that day.”
Somehow they had managed to cross the street without an accident and Uea stopped them right in front of the entrance to their office building. Jade took that chance to step away to throw the empty cup into the trash can before returning. Only then, when Jade was close enough so he could speak silently, did Uea continue.
“I wasn’t in a good place. I had a lot on my plate and when he suggested that we could help each other out I agreed. No strings attached, no unnecessary drama and no feelings involved. Just sex. We even agreed on the rules and everything to make sure we were both on the same page too.” Until feelings appeared and caused the strings to tighten and drama followed… And Jade wasn’t aware of so much still, but if there was one thing he knew for a fact it was that Uea didn’t deserve all that had happened to him and was still ashamed of being unaware of the rest that he couldn’t even begin to imagine. If Uea ever wanted to talk to him about anything that was hurting him, he hoped he’d have the courage to do so. He just hoped that wouldn’t include King being an ass anymore.
Jade took Uea’s hands in his and did his best to maintain eye contact. “You don’t sound too happy about it, though.”
“That’s not it…” Uea tightened his grip on Jade’s hands gratefully and he smiled. “I’m happy that I have him in my life now. It’s just… I don’t know what to do next.”
Back with being confusing. “Well, you don’t have to get married or anything. You can just continue as you are? Go on dates and get to know each other better. Maybe move in together when you feel like it’s the right time?” Jade suggested, running his thumbs over Uea’s skin in a soothing manner.
“That’s the thing. I don’t know if we both want the same thing.” That admission, after everything that Jade had just learned and even what little he had known before, left him dumbfounded. “You see… It’s so easy to get confused when you’re with someone this intimately. You can’t hide too much when you’re lying in bed naked with someone and that someone just blew….”
“Let me stop you right here.” Jade interrupted, scared that Uea would go on and that his brain would decide to imagine it all. His reaction caused Uea to chuckle softly, but the sound wasn’t what it should be. “Too many details. I don’t need visuals.”
“What I meant is that lust can be confused with affection.” Uea pulled his hands away gently and wrapped them around himself. He painted a pitiful picture like that. “And I don’t want to go through that again. I can’t go through that again. Not with King.”
His poor, poor friend. He was afraid of getting hurt because he was already so deeply in love. And Jade had no other option but to throw his arms around Uea’s neck and hug him tightly swinging their bodies from side to side, the takeout bag swinging with them.
“You’re overthinking it,” he concluded. “You both care so much about each other. Trust me. I have never seen him act as panicked as he did that day when you left for Lampang.” He could feel Uea’s arms settle on his back as he returned the gesture. It warmed his heart. This he could do! He could comfort him and maybe push the stubborn idiots closer together so all that stupidity would end. And then they could go on double dates! “You just need to trust him. Can you do that?” He pulled back a little bit, not ending the embrace, and searched Uea’s eyes for answers. He got a weak nod in return and then Uea, ever conscious of social decorum pulled away.
“I do. I trust him.” There was absolutely no uncertainty in Uea’s voice and it left Jade feeling ecstatic. His two best friends! Together! In a relationship!
Jade clapped his hands happily, his mind already working on all the little things he could do to make sure Uea and King could actually spend as much time together uninterrupted as possible and maybe even a couple of people he could ask for help. “Then you just need some time! And then all will be great! I can’t wait!”
As it turned out, they both needed to wait a couple of months more, until Valentine's Day, for King and Uea to officially begin their relationship and then a couple more until they could be persuaded to go on a double date with him and Mai.
But at that moment, as Jade and Uea entered their office and as Uea immediately walked toward the programmers' side of the room to set the takeout on King’s desk, all that Jade could think about was what a weird reality it was indeed.