Work Text:
haru is typing…
haru: idk how to reply to the fanmail, so i didn’t
you: It can’t be helped, you have a lot of fans
haru: my art has, not me
you: Same thing
haru: i’m…not really interested…
haru is typing…
haru: don’t u have fans at the gym too
you: Not that I know of
you: And I’m not interested in any of them, either
Sousuke hits send after a good five hours of pondering before he thinks any more of it. If he stalls it for much longer, he would change his mind again. He doesn't need any more distractions from all the papers on his desk. He has been dilly-dallying for months now and he figures it’s about time to stop being a loser. So he tells himself for the fourth time that day, “It’s now or never.” Except that he thinks it’s moronic to confess your admiration to a person you have never met.
you: Thing is, I’ve liked you for a long time, Haru.
Sousuke is convinced that he is really stupid.
He has been friends with Haru online for two years, and within that time span, although Haru does not reveal too much of himself, Sousuke has observed all his quirks. “Haru”, as the artist prefers to be called, loves to swim, draws and paints anything water, and has the ability to eat grilled mackerel perhaps for all his life. Sousuke is deeply enamored by everything about this man, and he cannot escape.
He wanted to confess by phone at least, but the guy never gives away his phone number, or any contact details he has online. Haru only stays on his art blog and vent account. In fact, Sousuke is already lucky enough to be able to talk to him on a regular basis. Whenever he posts things like “bad day”, they talk and Haru makes him feel better in his own little ways. He does the same to him and honestly he has no complaints.
Shit, I really sent it.
Sousuke thinks he has conditioned himself enough that whatever happens will be for the best. That day though, he still fumbles for his phone whenever it buzzes even while he’s at work. But they are mostly messages from his mom and other friends.
Sousuke comes home from work, eats dinner, and washes up. Haru hasn’t replied yet. Sousuke knows it isn't usual because Haru is often online.
“I shouldn't be expecting anything.” He mumbles to himself as he tries to sleep in the wee hours of the day. He shifts to the side and shoves a pillow onto his face. He really has to try to sleep.
Sousuke's phone buzzes a few minutes later while he was deceiving himself that he could actually get some sleep. He excitedly scrabbles around for his phone only to receive a message from Rin. He sighs loudly with hopes that Rin could hear it all the way from Australia.
cherrypetalrin: SOUSUKE! i completely forgot to tell u a while ago, but hey im coming home in three weeks! so rejoice! :B
He smiles at the message. That is finally some good news for today, but his mind wanders again to a certain artist whose reply he needs the most. He sends Rin a "Hey great I'm excited, see you in three weeks then."
Rin replies immediately.
cherrypetalrin: the fuck? u dont sound excited at all!
you: Let me show you my excitement in three weeks by strangling you. It's 2am here, dumbass
cherrypetalrin: theres a thing called silent mode havent u heard?
cherrypetalrin: im honestly surprised that u replied I KNO that you had to be asleep
cherrypetalrin: well IT IS 3 AM here
cherrypetalrin: do you even sleep
you: Forgot to put on silent mode
you: I *had been* trying to sleep.
you: Nice to hear from you Rin, the message was too random, though. Were *you* sleeping?
cherrypetalrin: sorry were havin some party thats y
cherrypetalrin: couldn't inform u earlier than this
cherrypetalrin: lol no shit
cherrypetalrin: dont tell me youre still chatting with your online friends at this hour
cherrypetalrin: whats the name again? haru?
Sousuke frowns. He remembers he mentioned Haru to Rin a couple of times, but he wasn't expecting Rin to bring up Haru, not right now when he is not okay.
you: You drunk right now? :P
cherrypetalrin: a little yeah
you: Also, when will you change that dumb online name?
you: Let me sleep now, Rin. Enjoy your party. G'am.
Sousuke lied. He doesn't sleep but instead checks his chat threads with Haru, all the way back before his idiot of a self confessed. He knows it's bad to reminisce, but this is the only way he can think of to swallow his uneasiness down temporarily.
you: Didn't mean to pry but what's your post all about?
haru: take it as it is.
haru: i want to float on the sea and never come back
you: What happened?
haru: nothing bad...
you: That's a lie, but if you don't want to talk about it, s'fine
haru: ...
haru: my client didn't like my painting
haru: they threw it in front of me
you: Fuck?!
you: I'm sorry, Haru
you: Did they explain why they didn't like it?
haru: they said it didn't suit the theme of their new corporate office
haru: their coordinator...he shouted at me. didn't want to pay in full
haru: he is kind of...violent
you: An asshole
haru: :)
haru: probably stressed at work...but that was bad
haru: i did all i could to fit it to their liking
haru: they had a lot of demands b4 too
you: What did you say? Where's the painting now?
haru: nothing, i picked it up and stormed off
haru: here at home, i'm treating some of the scratches...
haru: my art cried...
haru: :'(
you: :(
you: You'd been too nice. I will hunt them down for you and get revenge, yeah?
haru: lol
haru: just let me sleep in the sea, and i'll get over this...
you: Does this happen a lot in your work?
haru: not this bad...
you: Sorry.
haru: thank u sousuke...
you: Not really, but s'no problem
you: Oi, you're still up
haru: yeah
you: Couldn't sleep?
haru: i'm working on something, just taking a break now
you: It's almost 2 though
haru: i'm productive this way
haru: u worried, mom?
you: Shut up
haru: you're no better, mom, why still up?
you: Stop calling me mom!
you: I'm also working on something
haru: :)
haru: okay
you: That smiley looks murderous
haru: what?
you: They say never trust people who use that smiley, lol
haru: u believe that?
haru: :)
haru: :)
haru: :) :) :) :) :)
haru: :)
you: Goddammit
haru: Merry Christmas, Sousuke
haru sent you a pic
you: Wow, is that a dish *not* made with mackerel?!
haru: yeah, angus beef
haru: it's for u
you: Thanks. :D But how the heck can I eat that?
haru: you can't
you: What the fuck
haru: will feed it to the cats
you: Lucky cats :/
you: You just made my mouth water
haru: :(
haru: i will have my best friend eat it
haru: but this is really for u
you: Thanks a lot :|
haru: what did you get me this Christmas
you: Nothing
haru: what
haru: im disappointed
haru: >:0
you: Sorry, I suck :(
you: I'll bake mackerel-shaped cookies and eat in front of you lol
haru: no mackerel-flavored cookies?
you: You're the only one who likes that crap!
haru: i hate you
you: Merry Christmas, Haru :B
you sent a pic
haru: !!!!!!!!!
haru: collage of the sea !!!!!!!
haru: !!!!!!
haru: !!!11!1!!1
you: Not too loud, dammit :P
you: I'm at the beach with my family now, overseas. Thought you'd like to see this
haru: thank you, sousuke :)
you: Yeah
Sousuke somehow manages to fall asleep with the phone on his palm and a slight pang in his chest.
Sousuke feels groggy a few hours later in the morning when he checks his phone again for messages, but he immediately recognizes he is not allowed to send another message to Haru, as Haru deactivated his account.
“Yeah, great. Okay.” He tries to not sound disappointed, but he can only laugh, full of sarcasm. He suddenly thinks it’s so unfair; everything is unfair, that they haven’t met yet, but in the whole world he feels like Haru is the only one who understands him. So what will he do now?
Why did he confess? Why can't he be content of the friendship he has with Haru?
It was also Haru who has seen the one and only selfie he has ever posted, but he hasn’t seen much of Haru aside from his left hand when he holds up his artwork to take a picture of it, or when he takes a picture of his canvas while he’s painting or drawing. Haru would most likely recognize him at one go, having known him as a visual type of person. Will Haru secretly snort at him while he is innocently crossing the street? What does Haru think of him? It's dumb and he knows Haru won't probably do that because he isn't an asshole, but he's feeling embarrassed and confused. His head aches with the questions left hanging in the air.
He lightly slaps his forehead in mortification. “Ugh…”
But the most important is, will Haru ever come back?
Sousuke angrily throws his phone to his bed and goes out for a jog. He needs a good sweat.
Sousuke turns off his mobile connection for a grand total of seven days. Rin would definitely call him through his phone number directly if he needs something. It was Rin who introduced him, more like forced him, to register to social networking sites, anyway, after he went to Australia. It’s so that “you don’t get too lonely while your best friend is away”. But he detests it. Rin would understand his sudden withdrawal from these dumb social networking services.
However, he decides it’s about time to stop running away and so he turns on his mobile connection on Saturday night. He has mentally prepared himself for whatever messages he receives or does not receive.
Rin as always, sent him a couple of messages, some were also from other acquaintances, and Haru.
haru: i read your msg…
haru: sorry for disappearing on u
haru: are u angry… sousuke
haru: :(
haru: !!11!!!!!1
haru: :(
haru: sousukE…
haru: i didn't know what to say so i...
haru: sousuke? :(
haru sent you a pic.
Sousuke snorts at the spam of messages from Haru. He also sees a profile sketch of a man who looks like him. This gesture is almost endearing, but he remembers that he has to play it tough. His smile turns into a scowl.
you: Hey
you: You spammed me, idiot
you: Oh nice drawing lol
you: What, angry? No. Disappointed, yeah. You could’ve told me thank you at least, for my guts
Sousuke’s phone vibrates. A reply from Haru, which means he is online at the moment.
Oh, fuck.
haru: that’s not what i want to tell u
you: Okay
haru: and the drawing is a peace offering
you: Point taken, thanks
haru: do u want to meet
Sousuke almost chokes on his saliva when he scrolls down for the new message.
you: Why?
haru: i want to see u…
I’m stupid. His defenses crumble down around him. He really is weak when it comes to Haru. He contemplates on his reply for a while but “it’s now or fucking never,” he tells himself.
you: Sure.
haru is typing…
haru: um what if i’m not good looking would u still like me
you: That doesn’t matter to me, you idiot
haru: liar
you: I hate you :P
haru: :P
haru: then tomorrow at Gumi Park, 1 pm?
you: Seriously, Haru?
haru: i have to meet someone earlier at the park because they’re buying my art
you: Oh, that’s great then
haru: so it’s a date tomorrow
you: Don’t tease me :/ yeah see you. It will take two to three hours from my place, but okay. I’ll send you a message on here once I arrive.
haru: i don't bring my phone when i go out...
you: Then how the hell am I supposed to know where you are or if you’re already there?!
haru: u’ll know
you: Oi, wtf!
To say that Sousuke is nervous is an understatement. He has been contemplating on what to wear for a good one hour in front of the mirror. On normal days after bath, he would just pick whatever is the first set of clothes in his closet and he’s good to go. But today is special. He is finally meeting Haru.
He also, finally, takes notice of the set of perfumes Rin sent him for the past two years. He sprays a little of green apple cologne onto his neck and chest.
In the end, Sousuke settles for a light brown cardigan, a blue shirt and jeans. He sprays another bunch of his perfume on his shirt and sets off.
He arrives at Gumi Park half an hour earlier than their meeting time. The weather is windy and cloudy, but he figures it wouldn’t rain, not until a few hours anyway. He flops down on the bench feeling tired. In a few minutes though, he dozes off. It’s the effect of a week of not having enough sleep, but he can’t help it anymore.
It was when a finger is lightly poking on his forehead that he wakes up from his good nap.
“Hey.” There’s a low voice coming from the shadowy figure in front of him. He slowly opens his eyes and grunts irritably.
“Good morning, Sousuke.” A pair of clear, blue eyes is looking at him and a pale, beautiful face a few inches dangerously close from his. Sousuke’s eyes widen and a blush slowly creeps up his cheeks.
“Ah, I slept.” Sousuke rubs his eyes with the back of his palm.
“Yeah.”
It takes a moment for Sousuke to realize that the beautiful stranger knows his name. He blinks. “Uh…”
The raven-haired guy straightens himself out and stands stiffly in front of him. He cocks his head to the side and honestly, it is too adorable for Sousuke to handle. Who the fuck is this… God?
“It’s me, Haru.” The man says as if hearing his thoughts, expression unreadable.
Sousuke’s eyes widen. “H-Haru?” Sousuke stiffens in his seat. His mouth drops a bit wider than necessary he couldn't even care if a leaf falls on it.
Haru is too attractive. Too…attractive. This was totally unexpected. He pictured Haru as a person with an avant-garde taste in fashion at least, that's what he picked up from him. But not like an angel who has been sent from the heavens.
Haru snorts at Sousuke’s reaction. “You are cooler online, Sousuke.” Haru makes an attempt to move away, although it’s obviously a joke. But at this Sousuke scowls deeply and grabs Haru’s arm lightly.
“Wait, oi, you little shit.” Sousuke stands up and realizes he is much taller and much bigger than Haru. Haru apparently flinches, what with their huge height difference. Sousuke catches the little blush that appears on Haru’s cheeks, which for him is the best revenge for teasing him. But Haru regains his composure and faces him head on.
“It was a joke. Sorry…” Haru gives him a little smile. Sousuke feels his heart melt in a puddle.
Sousuke smiles back. “Yeah, the nerve. And not good looking, my ass.” He releases Haru’s arm, although he really doesn’t want to let go.
“Like what you see?” Haru deadpans and flashes him the peace sign.
Sousuke grins and fights back on what seems to be a giggle coming out of his mouth. “Yeah, I do.” He can’t control the words, but Sousuke doesn’t care anymore. Haru blinks at him.
“I like you, too.” Haru smiles that smile again. Peaceful and calm, just perfect for the weather.
Sousuke clears his throat. He wants to say something but no words are coming out. It’s been like this between them, even online. Haru knows how to turn tables around and it’s always Sousuke who has often felt like a moron at the end of their conversations.
Haru tiptoes and gives him a peck on the cheek. “Come back to your senses, Sousuke. We have to have our date…”
“Didn’t you just deliver the final blow when you kissed me?!” Sousuke scowls, although it’s not very intimidating anymore.
“Yes,” Haru replies, expressionless.
He likes me. Haru likes me, too.
But today, Sousuke wins. It’s a great day.