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Chaehyun never thought she would end up in SM after submitting her audition. She really thought she failed after not getting contacted back in two months. But standing in the practice room now, wiping the fogged up mirrors, she’s grateful they saw her potential.
“Chaehyun-ah!” a voice calls from behind her. She turns her head and smiles at Jimin. “Let's go eat,” Jimin says, her hand outstretched to Chaehyun who takes it and follows Jimin out of the building.
What she didn’t expect, however, was the arrival of Yu Jimin. Jimin made Chaehyun’s somewhat painful stay as a trainee better. The Jimin who was so kind to everyone around her, who always smiled so prettily towards her that it made Chaehyun so nervous she wanted to throw up.
Yu Jimin was the girl that Chaehyun didn’t know if she wanted to be or be with.
“You know, I heard there’s a female ghost that roams around the vocal rooms?” Yizhou says as they’re eating tteokbokki in the middle of the practice room. “Apparently it’s the room that Chaehyun stays in.”
“Yah, don’t say that.” Chaehyun half-heartedly smacks Yizhou's shoulder before biting into a rice cake.
“Maybe if you sing really badly, she might not haunt you,” Jimin suggests, which only causes Chaehyun to glare at her.
“I hope she haunts-” Chaehyun shrieks after feeling something grab her shoulders from behind. She jumps up and spins around immediately.
On the floor behind her is Minjeong who holds her stomach from laughing, while even more laughter erupts from Jimin and Yizhou. Chaehyun wants to yell at them but finds herself laughing along.
-
Chaehyun tunes her guitar in the spare practice room when she hears the door open and looks over; sees Jimin slip in, smiling
“Hey Jimin-unnie,” Chaehyun greets, setting her guitar down. Jimin chooses to sit on her lap instead of the chair right next to her. She’s clad in Chaehyun’s hoodie and practice shorts, and it makes Chaehyun’s heart twirl at the sight. Chaehyun didn’t recall the exact moment that Jimin confessed to her in the corner of the company bathroom but she was glad that she didn’t have to be the one to do it instead - she would’ve made a fool of herself.
“Hey Chaehyunnie, I bought this for you.” Jimin lifts up a plastic bag, pulling out a bag of chips. “I thought you might be hungry after practice.” Jimin opens up the packet to start feeding Chaehyun.
Chaehyun sings with Jimin in the room. The two of them enjoy their time together, talking and laughing as time passes.
After Chaehyun packs up to head back to the dorm, she leaves while holding Jimin’s hand.
-
The silence in the air is heavy after the fifth round of practice. The trainees had been split into two teams, Chaehyun with Jimin, and the other side of the room resided Minjeong with Ningning. They had been tasked with practising for Shinee’s Everybody for the weekly evaluation.
“Again!”
Chaehyun wants to drop to the floor, sleep and never wake up again. Beads of sweat are dripping down her temples, her bangs are sticking to her forehead - something she really hates. She feels a hand on her shoulder, a squeeze of reassurance. She doesn't need to look into the mirror to know it’s Jimin.
As long as Jimin was beside her, nothing scared her. The painful practice sessions only meant that Chaehyun was one step closer to debuting - to debuting with Jimin.
-
Chaehyun lets Jimin apply her newly bought lipstick on her as they’re sitting on Chaehyun’s bed.
“How’s it look?” Chaehyun asks, and she notices the way Jimin’s eyes linger on her lips. “Jimin-unnie,” She calls and Jimin’s eyes snap up to meet hers.
“Y-Yeah? It looks pretty on you,” Jimin mumbles, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears.
Chaehyun takes advantage of this. She leans forward and notices the way Jimin’s ears redden.
“Pretty enough for you to want to kiss me?” Chaehyun whispers, feeling giddy when she sees Jimin’s eyes widen. She loves how cute Jimin looks when she’s flustered.
Chaehyun feels a hand on her cheek but it quickly drops when there’s a knock at their door. Chaehyun wants to curse at whoever’s ruining this moment.
“Yeah!” Chaehyun answers, getting out of bed. The door opens with Minjeong’s eyes shifting between them before landing on Jimin. “Yizhou wants to go shopping, let’s go.”
“Okay,” Jimin answers. The door closes and Jimin gets up, she pats Chaehyun on the cheek. “Maybe next time, Chae.”
Chaehyun only groans at this.
-
A normal morning for Chaehyun is for her to be down in the dance studio but right now she’s sat across from one of the managing staff. It doesn't come as a surprise to Chaehyun when she’s told she didn't make the lineup. It was apparent from the way some of their trainers paid a little more attention to the ones who are going to debut.
“Look Chaehyun, I don’t know when but there might be plans later for another group.” The staff member gives her a hopeful smile. Chaehyun wants to smile back but she knows later can also become never.
Chaehyun shakes her head in reply. “No, it’s okay. Thank you for all your help.”
When she leaves the room, she sees a familiar trainee she didn’t know the name of. It wasn’t just her.
The moment Chaehyun walks back into the practice room, she sees that Jimin isn’t there and neither is Minjeong or Yizhou.
The other three don’t end up coming to any vocal or language lessons she attends later that day either. Chaehyun in that moment feels the reality of the situation settle in.
-
Chaehyun lets Jimin into the vocal room while she packs up to leave.
“Are you going to leave the company?” Jimin asks, and Chaehyun stops packing. She hadn’t really considered it but she also wondered if it would be worth staying, not knowing how long it would take the next batch of trainees to debut. Hell, maybe she wouldn’t debut until five years down the line. There had to be better options.
“Maybe,” Chaehyun replies curtly. There’s a moment of silence between the two of them before Chaehyun feels a hand slip into her own.
“Are you going to leave me?” Jimin asks, her voice shaky.
Chaehyun turns, giving Jimin’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us, unnie.” It was the truth. Chaehyun loves Jimin, but maybe she didn’t love Jimin enough to take the risk of staying and potentially wasting her time here. Maybe staying and loving Jimin wasn’t worth the risk of ruining her dream.
Jimin doesn't say anything but her upset state is apparent from the way she bites her bottom lip and refuses to meet Chaehyun’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Chaehyun apologises. She wishes it was different. “Congratulations on your debut.”
-
Chaehyun heads to the water dispenser to get a glass of water during her break from practice. Someone walks in beside her but their presence makes Chaehyun’s shoulder feel cold.
“Did you really have to hurt her like that?” Minjeong asks, spite in her voice before chugging down her water.
Chaehyun shrugs and she knows her lack of an answer irks Minjeong. She knows Minjeong’s only mad at her because she’d hurt Jimin - she’s not clueless about the way Minjeong looks at Jimin when she was with Chaehyun.
Chaehyun looks over at Minjeong and notices behind her stands Yizhou.
“I hate you Kim Chaehyun,” Minjeong spits, glaring at her. She pushes past Chaehyun roughly, the practice room door slamming loudly on her way in. Yizhou follows her quietly, not sparing Chaehyun a glance.
Not making it to debut did sting Chaehyun a bit but she just took this opportunity to think of it as another hurdle in life. There would be more chances - she’s still young.
After leaving SM, Chaehyun couldn’t stay still after seeing Jimin on screen. She wants to debut too. She wants to be an idol. The announcement on Twitter calling for people to join Mnet’s new show, Girls Planet, definitely convinced her. Now she’s back to waiting for the green light.
Chaehyun doesn’t expect to bump into Minjeong on her way back home. She doesn't know if she wants to stay or act like Minjeong is a stranger.
Chaehyun ends up waiting for her train home with Minjeong. Chaehyun thought Minjeong still held some animosity against her but it seems that since Chaehyun was out of the picture, Minjeong can spend more time with Jimin.
“What have you been up to all this time?” Minjeong asks.
“Well, I applied for Girls Planet and got in,” Chaehyun answers; sees the way Minjeong’s eyebrows raise in amusement.
“What song are you performing for your demo?”
Chaehyun smiles, shaking her head while laughing and she answers, “You’ll know when you see it.”
“You know, Jimin is still heartbroken over the way you left her that day. She keeps thinking it’s her fault you didn’t get in,” Minjeong says, rolling her eyes.
“Oh..” Chaehyun doesn’t know how to reply - she feels a slight sense of guilt hit her. Though she half-expected Jimin to still be hung up on her because that was the type of person Jimin is, always so considerate and loving. Always taking care of other people before herself.
Arriving in her room, Chaehyun sits down on her bed and grabs her phone. She clicks on Jimin’s contact, writing up a text to meet up. She ends up deleting it, pressing the call option instead. She misses hearing Jimin’s voice.
-
Chaehyun stares down at the 4-cut photo she took with Jimin in the photo booth as they’re walking through the park. Her eyes focus on the way Jimin's arms are hugging her.
“I heard from Minjeong that you’re in Girls Planet,” Jimin mentions, pausing momentarily as if to take the information in. “I’m glad you’re still trying.”
“Thanks. I mean I couldn’t give up after seeing your debut with the other girls.” Chaehyun nudges Jimin’s shoulder and sees her nod.
“Do you miss it?” Jimin asks.
Chaehyun looks at her, taking a moment to appreciate the way the wind brushes through Jimin’s hair - she looks ethereal.
“Miss what?” Chaehyun asks, softly. They both settle down on a bench. Chaehyun shifts herself closer to Jimin, their shoulders touching.
“Being together,” Jimin huffs, her head eventually resting on Chaehyun’s shoulder.
Chaehyun smiles, looking away. She revels in the memories of the practice room, training alongside Jimin. How they laughed together, cried together.
“Yeah, I think about it sometimes,” Chaehyun admits. “What about you?” Chaehyun turns her head to face Jimin but before she knows it, she’s being kissed. Cold hands cup Chaehyun’s cheeks, pulling her in. Chaehyun only presses closer; chases after the familiar feeling a little. They pull away after a few seconds.
“A lot. I miss it a lot,” Jimin answers, glancing away briefly.
Chaehyun looks over her shoulder, eyes darting through the trees just to make sure no one is watching them. She’s thankful to see it’s empty.
Jimin laughs beside her, elbowing her arm with a smile. “What, you're scared someone is going to take our photo?” Jimin scoffs.
“In case you forgot unnie, you’re an idol. Maybe someone from dispatch is hanging out here. You never know,” Chaehyun states, however Jimin looks unaffected. “You know, Minjeong-unnie really likes you. She was always staring holes into the side of my head whenever we were together.” Chaehyun laughs, thinking back to Minjeong’s cold stare.
Chaehyun hears Jimin laugh before letting out a sigh. “Yeah, I know. It’s not hard to tell from the way she acts around me,” Jimin admits.
Jimin then stands, her hands straightening out her skirt. “Time for me to probably head back.”
Chaehyun nods, standing as well to pull Jimin into a hug. “Thanks for coming out to see me Jimin-unnie. I’m really sorry for how I ended things with you back then. It was a hard time for both of us.” Chaehyun bites the inside of her cheek briefly then smiles.
“It’s alright. I’ll be cheering you on then. I hope one day we can be on the same stage,” Jimin replies, holding Chaehyun’s hands.
“Mhm!” Chaehyun agrees. She watches Jimin turn and walk away.
Chaehyun sets herself back down on the bench, feeling content as she watches the sunset.