Chapter Text
“Hyung.. Hurry please… I'm so hungry!” Jaemin whined, body laying deadly on the couch because of the weakness from the lack of meals in his tummy. Jaehyun promised to buy him lunch today. But the older is still busy with his work, leaving the younger in a state of hunger. Jaemin arrived at his house before lunch time and now, after hours past the promised lunch time, the older is still very much busy on his laptop. Fingers click clacking on the keyboard, not minding Jaemin’s loud whines.
“Wait okay, just a minute and i’ll be done” Jaehyun said with disinterest, eyes still focused on what he’s typing in his laptop. “But you said that too a while ago!” Jaemin grumbled as he threw his long legs in the air. And Jaehyun only chuckled at that, eyes never leaving the screen of his laptop.
After feeling like hours of Jaemin whining and Jaehyun patiently asking for another minute, he is finally done with his work. “...and done! For sure this time” Jaehyun said with a final click on what he’s been typing, then turned to Jaemin and grinned at him. “Fucking finally!” the younger groaned as he quickly sat up and made a dash to the older. “Let’s goo. I swear I'll empty your wallet today!” he added as he grabbed Jaehyun arms and dragged him to the door.
“Wait wait Jaem, i have to change my clothes” Jaehyun said as he released Jaemin’s hold on his arms, making his way to his room to change into more proper clothes. “But hyungg you look just fine with that hoodie, and you didn’t even smell bad!” stomping his legs on the floor like an adult he is, Jaemin whined more as he followed the older to his room. Jaehyun swears Jaemin’s tall and broad build is not fitting at all to his toddler- like behavior. That boy is a literal baby at heart, the younger even admitted it himself.
“Just wait a little more minute, okay. You know Win..” Jaehyun halted, “won’t like it if i don't wear proper clothes outside” and continued in soft whispers, eyes lost in his reflection in the mirror. And Jaemin, although having whined nonstop for hours suddenly being quiet at what the older said. He heard.
“Hyung, you don’t have to worry about your appearance anymore, you know. It's not like Winwin gege is here to nag about it” Jaemin said softly as he made his way closer to the older. “Beside.. You look stunning like this! Remember when in college the girls and boys were after you because you look so boyfriend material in your hoodie?” Jaemin cheerfully adds as he wraps his arms around Jaehyun. Giving his big smile to the older through the mirror. “Yeah, I think I look stunning too” Jaehyun said softly as he replied to the younger with a smug smile.
“Ah!... Hyung!... let.. Me-” Jaemin’s talk in between his munches was cut off as Jaehyun whacked Jaemin softly on his forehead. “Yah Na Jaemin! munch munch and swallow, then you’re allowed to talk” Jaehyun added as he shook his head, disgust clear in his face. Jaehyun swears a 5 year olds has more table manners than the person in front of him right now.
The younger only rolled his eyes /disrespectful as always/, as he continued his interrupted sentences. ”So.. /swallow/, okay. So… there’s this guy” he talked carefully before the older interrupted him again. “No uh Jaem, i told you already that i won’t do any more of your blind date shit” Jaehyun sternly said, munching his meal uninterested with the younger’s another stupid blind date idea that he’s been setting for Jaehyun countless times right after he broke up with Winwin about a year ago.
The blind dates that Jaemin been setting up for him, obviously never worked. He always can see the shadow of Win in each one of them and it sends his insecurities to sky rocket. And he didn’t want to go back to that place.
What he had between Win and him, it’s not completely filled with awful memories. He loved Win so much and so did Win, or so he thought.
Win made him happy, very happy. Until one day, when everything Jaehyun did was wrong in Win’s eyes. And what hurted him most is, everything he did and everything he is, it's an embarrassment for Win to the point that he asked Jaehyun to change everything, to change who he is.
“Can you please dress nicely Jae, it’ll mean so much to me”
“You know I think we have to get rid of all your hoodies and strange band t-shirts that you had, and don’t forget those jeans with awful holes on it, yuck!”
“Jae! You can’t joke like that in front of my friends, it’s kinda childish!”
“What did you wear right now?! What are you? A gangster? Go change to the button up I bought you last time!”
“Jae, you can’t tell my friends about your job okay. Just don’t”
“Jae.. can you please for once, not embarrassing me?”
“You know Jae… if you really can’t keep up with me, I think we should end it here. I'm tired”
But he was tired too. He was tired pretending to be someone he wasn’t. He was tired of dressing in those tight fitting button ups and ties that seemed to choke him day by day. He was tired of laughing in a proper way on some lame unfunny jokes Win's friends keep throwing. He was tired of pretending to like something he clearly doesn't enjoy. He was tired of hiding what he likes, what he loves, and his passions. He was tired too. He was tired, but he did his best for Win. but it seems like it wasnt enough for Win, he was never enough since the beginning. And that is what he keeps thinking about himself ever since. That he was not enough for anyone.
“You’re more than enough hyung, and you’re worth everything good this world could over” Jaemin suddenly interrupted his train of thought, as if he knew what exactly his mind was thinking at the moment.
The younger reached Jaehyun’s hand and gave him a few reassuring strokes with his thumb, giving a sincere smile to him. The gesture instantly pulled him out from another train of thought he kept getting ever since the break up.
The break up really did him no good, he kept second guessing himself and was already deep in believing that everything that happened to him is his own fault because of how flawed he is. He almost didn't make the year, but he got lucky because he has Jaemin with him. It’s safe to say he won't make it to this day if he didn’t have Jaemin checking on him from time to time all through this year. He did owe the younger big time for that.
“Okay…” almost inaudibly he said to Jaemin, but of course the younger heard. “Okay? Okay what hyung?” Jaemin questioned.
Jaehyun took a deep intake of breath then looked at Jaemin as he agreed to Jaemin’s previous proposal. “Okay, I'll go on that date. But if this one didn’t work out too. I beg you not to set me up on another stupid blind date”. And Jaemin's eyes widened in excitement as Jaehyun said that. “Omg omg omg hyung!! I'm super happy! I promise- I PROMISE you that he’ll be the right one for you!” Jaemin clapped happily as Jaehyun could only laugh and shake his head at the younger antic.
“I’m dead serious hyung! This one is totally your type, minus him not being an asshole of course!” Jaemin added, eyes still full of stars because of how excited he is for his hyung, Jaehyun, to meet the guy that Jaemin deemed to be the right one for Jaehyun, Jeno.