Chapter Text
TW: Emetophobia
Hello! To start I am sorry about the grammatical errors/spelling this needs some pretty heavy editing but i’m posting it for now.
Haise Sasaki took a deep breath and looked at the mini mansion that would be his new home. Well, and a squad of medically enhanced humans. He was somewhat shocked due to the sheer size of the place. It seemed too big for 5 people, but it wasnt like they wanted to leave them all unsupervised. He was glad it was being funded as part of the Quinx Project knowing he sadly wouldnt ever be able afford something of the size. He found the front door and used one of his many keys to get in. He heard the soft click of the lock opening and then turned the handle.
Haise took his first few steps into their new home and started to observe the space itself. It was large. According to the CCG's Instructions they were required to have at least one floor in place for training. Haise was fine with this and thought it would be good to teach some of his squad better self defence, the place where they were the most lacking. The other qualifications were listed as follows: individual rooms for each of the quinxes and himself, a dining area, and a somewhat spacey meeting area. It took some time and alot of help from Mado; but they were able to find a place for them to all live, the Chateau.
Haise was once worried about the living arangements because, well, who would wilingly live with a ghoul? Or a half one at least. Some at the Agency were reasonibly hesitant to allow Haise to live with the quinxes. Some thought it smart so he would have people near him if he lost control. Others, or Arima just wantde him to talk to more people. He chucked remmebering the looks on some of the investigators faces when it was origionally sudgested that Haise be the leader of the Q's Squad.
No matter what people said, Haise was by far the most qualified to hold this position due to his state. They wanted Sasaki to guide the Q's and teach them to use kaguine, with caution of course. This was easily the CCG's most contriversal project to date.
-At a meeting that prior month-
"Ken Kankei is completely unstable. I dont care what Arima says, Ive seen the centipede in action and hes insane. Even to ghoul standards theres quite obviously something wrong with him" A tall slim man sitting across the table started the debate. He looked frustrated.
"First of all, do not repher to Sasaki as Kankei. Sasaki lost his memory after loosing to Arima. Kankei is gone, we are dealing with Haise Sasaki now. Second, do not speak i'll of those not with us at the moment. Haise may have once been known as the centipede but he doesnt have memory of that. For his sake we want to keep it that way. Hes not even a full ghoul, he was once a respectible student studying at Kami. He didnt ask for any of this. Lastly, do not undermind Arimas authority. He wanted to keep Haise in custody and thats what will be done" Mado finished quickly her stair never wavering and her head held high. This wasnt the time to be pushed around.
"Who cares is hes "half ghoul" he still eats people, that automaticly qualifies him as a ghoul to me" Many investigators at the round table nodded their heads in agreement. Mado frowned, this was just what she was worried about.
"We wont let him kill anyone. We are making arangements as we speak to make sure that Haise will have the correct nutrition for ... his condition" Mado felt less confident, she knew that their arguments were correct.
"Kan- Haise Sasaki has shown to be a very strong fighter with good judgement. He has shown superior use of his Kaguine and hand to hand combat. He will be a good teacher to those in the Q's Squad" People finally quieted down, looking up to Mado.
"While I cant in full confidence say that Sasaki is ready to incourperate himself back into society, we have him in counseling and are prepared to take the nessisary steps in case he looses control. Hes much better than once he first started. Mado finally breathed again and looked up at the stern faced invesigators looking dirrectly at her.
She had done all she could up to that point, but still didnt feel satisfied wih what she had accomplished. She couldnt tell if her words were just making the situaton worse.
A small thump could be heard from he other side of the table as a smaller investigators feet hit the top of the table, trying to rest his feet.
Most of the investigators glanced over then averted their gaze downwards, some of the older invetsigators rolling their eyes at the boy.
"He's going to eat all of them and then use the extra floors to hide the evidence" The smaller detective muttered after rolling his eyes at the other investigators comments.
"Have a little trust in him" Juzo finally finished.
"We can see what happens, mabye he turns against us mabye he becomes a top rank investigator. Cant hurt to watch and see" Juzo finshed by grabbing soemthing from his pocket. A slight clink noise came from his pocket, all the small knives he kept on himself at all times rubbing against eachother.
He passed a pudding to Hanami to open. Then looking up at the table with a look that was daring the people at the table to speak out agaist Sasaki again.
While Juzo may have been a little bias as Sasaki gave him candy, he felt that he was on some level a good person. He never thought of Haise as being a ghoul.
While odd at times, no one dare speak against the smaller investigator. He outranked hald the people at the table.
Mado gave Juzo a smile and asked for a vote.
While hesitantly, they appointed haise the head of Chateau, and left him with a lengthy list of commands and requirements for the new home.
-Present Times-
Haise was overjoyed to be able to live in the new home. While he would never admit it to anyone he was somewhat scared of being alone. Flashbacks of Cochella loomed in the back his mind and he took a deep breath. The sweet and somewhat comforting scent of the quinex helped wash away the memories for the timebeing.
Weather thoughts or memories, Haise tried to keep reflecting to a minimum, It wasnt a road he liked to travel down. Twenty years of his live had just disapeared without a trace. The only reminese he had left from those years were random dirty looks from investigators and a rather pequilar diet he was fourced to follow to survive.
As Sasaki toured his new home he heard the slightly familiar footsteps of his new squad. Urie, Yonebayashi, Shirazu and Mutsuki. While he already identified each them by smell only he tried to use sound more frequently, and tried to learn their indivigual footfalls.
He didn't like to be caught off guard so he tried to keep all his senses sharp.
Later that afternoon when most of the furniture had finally been moved into each space and all the Q's rooms rooms, Haise sighed and finally sat down. Stretching his arms high above his head he looks at the quinxes sitting directly across from him. He held in a laugh as he saw Yonebayashi sleeping soundly on the couch. He knew she hadent helped physicaly but was trying to help with 'morale' and modivation. That was her name for sitting on the floor near the door and yelling at Urie, Shirazu and Mutsuki to pick up the pace. No one ever minded though, that was just her charm he guessed.
Haise didn't need his hearing to tell that they were hungry, their stomaches rumbling would have been loud enough for someone with normal hearing to hear.
Haise jumped up and murmered a quick apology then quickly opened a box that contained new pots and pans. He wasnt used to humans eating cycles and had to trust his hearing for rumbling stomachs or slight tempers to remmeber to start cooking. He got to work quickly and opened a cook book.
It bothered him that he would have to live not knowing is he was good at cooking. Being fourced to trust those around him. While the smell made him sick, cooking felt oddly soothing to Haise and he had taken some cooking lessons over the past couple weeks in an attempt to learn how to cook.
He enjoyed the classes but frequently made people sick with undercooked food as he couldnt tell if it were fully cooked. Due to the food making him sick anyways.
As the food was almost done Haise called down all the memebers of the Q's Squad down to the table. The footfalls of all 4 Quinxes could be heard going down the stairs, over the cound of the oil cracking and popping on the stovetop.
They all sat down promptly and looked up expectantly at haise.
Haise almost laughed he felt like a mother feeding her children.
Once everyone had been served they all sat around the table.
Scattered mutters of "thank you" came from throughout the dining room table as people started to eat"
"Not bad maman" Yonebayshi said while looking up.
"Aren't you going to eat the food sassan ?" Shirazu started.
Urie visibly flinched after hearing Investigator Sasaki being spoken to so casually, as squad leader he promptly decided that was an issue for another night.
"Not tonight, just not feeling too hungry." Haise replied with a soft smile.
He didn't mention that just making the food has made him feel ill. That wasnt something he wanted them worrying about. To his knowledge the Quinxes weren aware of his 'ghoulness' and he wanted to try to keep it that way.
He hated the way people looked at him once they knew.
Haise had been getting better at eating in public as Arima suggested, but he couldn't stomach cooked food at the moment. He wasnt wanting to risk making himself sick and vulnerable in case of a new mission.
It left him with the consern of the future though, the Quinxes would obviously become suspishious when they realized he never ate with them; and became sick afterwards when he did.
He was preparing himself to eat the mochi on the counter with the squad as a treat that night. While he was sure they had heard the rumors of him being a ghoul; he wasn't ready to give them reason to actually believe these accusations for the time being.
After all of them had eaten their full and cleaned dishes he felt eyes on him as he bit into the mochi he was holding in his hand.
One reason he was glad to have lost his memories of being a human, if he ever had been human he thought to himself. Was that he didnt remember how food was supposed to taste. There had to be something he was missing because his coworkers seemed to enjoy eating. They seemed to take pity on him whenever those who knew about his peticular situation saw him turning down grabbing food after work.
He wont ever forget his first time eating human food as Haise? If thats what he should even be calling himself.
He was sitting with Arima and Mado as they were both franticly trying to create the persona of 'Haise' while registering him with the CCG. Mado had been told that the boy sitting in front of her was formerly Ken Kankei but she couldnt belive it.
She had seen Kankei, or the Centipede fighting. She had witnessed herself how ruthless he was. Just anouther ghoul with a disreguard for human life.
She looked at Kens photo on record at Kami and then at Haise, almost identical if you ignore the tired look and the change in hair color.
None of the doctors at the CCG had successfully figured out to why the his hair had changed how it did but the snowy white matched arimas hair. There was jokes all around on how haise was arimas son. She always saw Haise trying to secretly smile whenever he heard that.
She tossed him a bagel and looked up expectantly.
Arima gave a frown at her and then looked towards Haise.
He opened the bag and took a bite, not wanting to be rude and not exactly sure what to expect. The doctors had told him that he wouldnt be able to eat human food as far as they were aware.
As his teeth sunk in he paused.
The wave of nausia hit him like a truck and He started gagging at the taste. Like straght vomit he thought to himself.
Mado started appoligising immitiately after seeing the straght sick look cross Haises face.
"I am so sorry Haise.." She started.
A green looking Haise ran out of the room muttering appololigies towards Arima.
"All Good Haise" Arima replied still looking down at paper work.
"I thought you were aware of his situation" Arima looked up while speaking a look of disaproval on his face.
'Guess he didnt like watching Sasaki get sick either' Mado thought to herself..
"Well, I guess I wasnt aware it was that bad for them" Mado said looking down, embaressed.
"Haise is goign to be living his life as a human with the CCG now. Im not sure what it is yet but I see something in him. I dont want him wasting away in Coachella or living underground in some dump" Arima said while filing paperwork.
"We need someone like him and its unfair to punish someone innosent. Haise doesnt rember what he did as Ken Kankei. He needs help. The first time I saw him in coachella..." He trailed off.
Mado understood and watched as Haise made his way back to the room, Appologising to both of them for leaving.
'Wow' she thought. A gho- half-ghoul appologising for not being able to eat human food. Thats not something you see everyday. She felt guilty as she saw Haise being shakey at the table after that. She vowed herself to protect him the best she could that day.
-Back to Present times-
You've practiced this he told himself. Well he was unsuccessful each time in trying to eat but,he didn't immediately throw up anymore he thought to himself trying to stay positive.
The CCG doctors assumed that haise had such an extreme reaction because he couldn't ever remember eating as a ghoul or human. This nasty taste was all he knew at the moment and he didn't think that it was worth it to keep up appearances but Arima told him to try so he would.
As he took the bite and quickly swallowed without chewing, (he found that helped for some reason).
He tried to smile and pretend to chew as the intrest quickly left the quinxes faces and they went to grab their own mochi.
This taste like.. well haise didn't really have much to compare it to at that time so just... Nasty.
"This mochi is good, what do you guys think?" Haise just grabbed the first box he had seen hoping that it would be somewhat good. For the Q's at least.
All 4 of them started to look sick, and quick. They swallowed the mochi and looked at one another.
"What's wrong? Haise started quickly, his expression showing great concern.
He instintively assumed the worst and that their Kakuhou frames had malfunctioned. He didnt agree with the operation one bit, while they wouldnt become as 'ghoul' as Haise was, he didnt like the risks this put others at. It wasnt soemthing others becides Haise could understand, being turned intto something. At least the quinxes gave permission and were aware of the possible reprocussions of the Quinx prosegure.
Shirazu broke Haises train of thought , "Sassan I think there's something seriously wrong with that mochi" looking green as the spinach sasaki had tried to cook only an hour earlier.
"You think?" Urie managed to get out before vomiting on the floor.
Haise looking distressed walked into the kitchen to grab the box. He passed saiko laying on the floor grumbling about a stomach ache.
'Wait a stomach ache?' He thought. Thats doesnt sound like a kakuhou related issue.
He scrambled for the box trying to read the information he was looking for. It took a little time as things had been a little blurry recently. His vison had slowly been worstening over time, Arima wanted him to get glasses but he didnt want to, not until fully nessisary because he didnt want to become dependant on them.
He waited as his vision finally focused on the small red font near the bottom of the box.
The expiration date showing last year.
"Oh" Was all Haise could muster looking at the date.
It wasn't something he thought to check, with the whole not eating human food thing.
"Wait are you all ghouls.?" Haise started with before dissolving into laughter.
"I heard that ghouls can't eat food without getting sick"
The relief that it wasnt a kahako issue hit him like a bus and he couldnt stop laughing.
"Please dont eat me" He managed to get out between fits of laughing.
The main lesson learned that day was to not let Haise go shopping on his own again.