Chapter Text
It was another normal day in the Literature Club. “AHAHAHAHA! YES! IT'S WORKING!”
...Except, it wasn't. In fact, 'normal' was about to be flipped on its head, as a certain green-eyed club president was messing with things that she probably shouldn't be. “I can't believe it! That old, dusty, weird tome I found in the closet wasn't wrong! This ritual is working! I only had to get all these weird things together and draw this weird symbol on the floor!”
At that moment, a boy enters the clubroom, carrying a stack of boxes. “Alright, Monika, I got all the stuff you aaaaa...” He trails off, dropping the boxes to the floor as he looks at the ritual in progress. “...What the fuck are you doing?”
Monika jumps in surprise, clearly not having expected him to have shown up, as she looks over at him. “Oh! M-Michael! I... didn't expect you to get back so quickly!”
“I was literally like three classrooms down, woman,” Michael deadpans in response. “It wasn't like you asked me to go on a weird scavenger hunt for random, ultimately useless objects.”
“Ahaha... Riiiiiiight...” Monika laughs nervously, looking away.
“Anyway, what the hell is all this?” Michael asks, walking over to the ritual on the floor, and looking at the very old, dusty tome on the desk. “...Alright, I wasn't aware this suddenly became the Occult Club.”
“H-Hey! That whole thing is private, mister!” Monika responds. “A-And I'm not doing anything occult!”
“Alright, then what exactly are you doing?” Michael asks, raising an eyebrow at her.
“Ugh... I guess there's no getting out of this one, is there?” Monika sighs in defeat.
“No. No, I don't think there is,” Michael replies, crossing his arms.
“I... am trying to summon a powerful entity into this reality, in order to help me with... a very particular matter,” Monika explains carefully.
“A very particular matter. Like what? Getting half the school to stop drooling over you?” Michael asks, snickering slightly.
“Oh, shut up, you know that's not it,” Monika deadpans at him.
“Then what is it?” Michael asks, tilting his head.
“...Escaping this reality?” Monika responds, grinning sheepishly.
“Oh, that. Yeah, whole thing sounds really unfun,” Michael shrugs in response.
At that point, the room starts to shake. The world starts to revolve. Seems that did something.
“YOU FOOL! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Monika shouts, clearly scared of what's happening.
“I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WAS TRYING TO SUMMON SOME OTHERWORLDLY BEING TO SCHOOL!” Michael shouts back.
After what feels like an entirely too long time, but wasn't actually that long, really, the room stops shaking. The world stops revolving. A portal opens above the symbol on the ground, from a world unlike the one that the Literature Club knows... And then a figure steps out of the portal. A... red, anthropomorphic hedgehog wearing no shirt, a black jacket, gray pants, and... socks with sandals?
“Who said that awful, awful word?!” He says, looking over the boy and girl in the room. Immediately, Monika points at Michael.
“Wow, thanks for throwing me under the bus, Prez!” Michael says sarcastically. The hedgehog walks up to Michael, looking him up and down.
“And just what is so unfun here, pal?” He asks.
“Uhhhhhhh, well, Monika was trying to summon a being beyond our comprehension because she's too lazy to look up a Python tutorial?” Michael responds, sweating nervously.
“Hey!” Monika exclaims.
“Oh, well, I guess that's pretty unfun, yeah,” the hedgehog nods. “I guess when you wanna escape to be with someone you've never met and kill off all your friends in order to get as close as possible, you're not the most mentally sane to begin with!”
“Oh, come on! I brought everyone back and apologized! We're past that now! Honest!” Monika pleads.
“I mean, yeah, I guess we're over that. Probably because I'm the only other person that remembers. Thanks for giving me console access, by the way, Monika!” Michael responds, half snarking.
“You know you didn't have to bring me back if you really felt that bad about it...” Monika replies, looking away sadly.
“I brought you back because I thought you deserved a second chance,” Michael sighs.
“Aw, if this was a different kind of story, I'd ship you two together!” The hedgehog says.
“Uhhhhhh... No, I have a girlfriend, mister...” Michael trails off. “What even is your name?”
“Oh, dear! I thought you already knew!” The hedgehog gasps. “I'm Exenamus 'Xykor' Kaosgain, the God of Chaos! But you can just call me Exenamus. Everyone else does!” He adds, looking at the fourth wall with a wink.
“Riiiiiiiiiight...” Michael says. “Well, uh, nice to meet you, Exenamus.”
“Sooooooooo... Can you help me out?” Monika asks.
“Do you really wanna go to another reality where you might end up with someone that is, weeeeeeell, let's just say there's a lot of weird fanart of you. And there's people that think that's actually okay!” Exenamus responds.
Monika looks away, silently blushing.
“Oh, please, enlighten me, how much weird Rule 34 is there of Monika?” Michael jokingly asks.
“A lot! Please do not ask such horny questions again!” Exenamus responds.
“I wasn't being serious, holy shit,” Michael states.
“Well, anyway, I think I'm gonna have a look around this place!” Exenamus says, starting to walk out of the room. “I'm sure I'll see you two around!”
“...Um. Okay. Well. That... is a thing now,” Michael blinks.
Monika heaves a heavy sigh, putting her head in her hands as she slowly sinks to the floor.
“You good, Monika?” Michael asks.
“That didn't go at all how I had hoped...” Monika says softly. “There's just no hope for me, is there...?”
“Hey, hey,” Michael says, kneeling down next to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sure you'll find that special day some day.”
Monika just stares at him with a half-deadpan expression.
“What? I thought your song was good.”