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Kazuki couldn’t sit still. He and Rei were parking close to the daycare in their new, less flashy car. The old one hadn’t come through the last two months bullet free. Miri’s child car seat was still unscathed, though, and ready for use on the back seat.
While Rei was sitting as quietly and unmoving as only a sniper could, Kazuki bit his nails, gripped the steering wheel, ran his hand though his hair and rechecked the time every ten seconds. His leg was bouncing non-stop, until Rei laid his hand on his knee. Kazuki stopped fidgeting and took his hand instead.
They watched more and more mothers leave with their kids. Their plan was to wait until Misaki showed up. This way they could leave with her and Miri right away, avoiding the other moms as well as possible, and without making a big scene in front of the daycare.
Twelve minutes after the start of the pick-up time Misaki still hadn’t shown up yet. Suddenly Rei let go of his hand and said, “Fuck waiting.”
Kazuki was out of the car just as fast as him. When they reached the gate, he spotted Miri immediately. His eyes teared up. Did she hate them? Did she think they just abandoned her? That they didn’t care anymore? He wondered what Misaki told her.
Miri was talking to Miss Anna who noticed them first. With a smile she waved at them and Miri followed her gaze. In the blink of an eye her face lit up and she ran towards them with high speed and the happiest voice, “KAZUKI-PAPA! REI-PAPA!”
Kazuki grouched down, tears already spilling, and opened his arms. Miri jumped right into the hug and he finally felt whole again. He didn’t want to ever let go.
“Kazuki-papa, Rei-papa, I missed you so, so much! Don’t ever leave again!” Kazuki stood up, holding her tight, and mumbled in her hair, “We won’t, we won’t. Not a chance.”
When Miri held her tiny hands out for Rei, Kazuki pressed her in his arms. She hugged him just as tightly. Rei smiled. Finally breathing freely again at the sight of his happy, reunited family, Kazuki wiped his tears away. He had to be grinning like an idiot.
“You’re back. Good afternoon.” Kazuki turned around to see a very pale Misaki. She wore no makeup, her hair in a messy bun and had dark circles under her eyes. Her clothes were very casual and a bit wrinkled. In contrast, he and Rei seemed very well dressed. No suits and not like the mafia as Miss Anna had put it what felt like eons ago. But their new pricey winter clothes and Rei with his hair up surely left an impression that was too dressed up for a normal daycare pickup. They were dead set on not showing any weakness today.
Kazuki shoved all the twisted emotions away that welled up at Misaki’s sight and smiled politely. “Yes, we’re back and here to visit Miri. We’d also like to talk to you.”
Misaki’s face remained blank, but she nodded. She didn’t have a bike with her and Kazuki couldn’t image that she’d earned enough for a car in the last weeks. He pointed across the street with a wave of his hand. “We’re parking over there. Is it okay if we drive to your place?”
They desperately wanted to see how Miri had been living the last two months. But they wouldn’t just force themselves inside uninvited. Fortunately, Misaki just nodded again. She seemed tired. Meanwhile Miri seemed anything but, laughing excitedly in Rei’s arms, “Are we all going home together!? Yay!”
They went to the car and Rei put Miri into her seat. Surprisingly, Misaki sat down next to Kazuki on the passenger seat. She gave him an address in a district a bit further away, in the opposite direction of the red-light district, Kazuki realized relieved. “The second street on the right and then down the main road.”
Rei sat down next to Miri with her little backpack on his lap. She waved with her arm until Rei took her hand. Kazuki could hear her big grin in her voice as she started to tell them about anything and everything. It crushed any potential for an awkward silence during the drive. Kazuki’s heart jumped with joy. He listened closely and asked a few questions here and there.
“—wished you could have been at the Christmas party, but we have lots of pictures and I can sing it to you later. Did you know that—“
The apartment was simple and small with one bedroom for Miri, whereas Misaki most likely slept on a futon in the living room. There were toys lying around a bit messily, but otherwise it was clean and tidy. Kazuki saw a used ashtray sitting next to a window and tried not to judge too harshly.
Miri showed them the promised Christmas pictures and many of her diary drawings. Kazuki’s heart clenched at the sight of Miri in her princess dress. He wished he could have seen the performance for real and vowed silently to never miss anything like this again. It was a vow he could keep now. The cute diary entries showed him that Misaki went outside with Miri a lot, that was a big relief. There were no other people, though, just Miri and her mother.
They had brought along various groceries they had bought this morning. When Kazuki asked what Miri wanted to eat, she shouted “French toast” as expected. So Kazuki used Misaki’s kitchenette boldly without remorse. With a smile he noticed the penguin, they’d brought the last time they’d seen each other, sitting next to the fridge. Miri giggled, “He likes cold places. But sometimes when he gets lonely, he sleeps in my bed instead.”
Warmth spread through Kazuki’s whole body. It had been obvious already, but now he really realized she had not forgotten or resented them at all.
While Kazuki was making the French toast and cutting some fruit and vegetables to go along with it, Miri climbed into Rei’s lap. He sat her on his good leg and Miri asked hopefully, “Did you finish all your work?”
“Work?” Rei echoed. Kazuki glanced at Misaki. She smiled at him wryly.
“Mama, said you had to leave the country for very important oil work, so we couldn’t call. Next time, can you take all of us with you, please? Not just Kazuki-papa…”
“Ah, it’s… Sorry for leaving so suddenly. It’s not going to be necessary again. We won’t ever leave like that again. I promise.”
Miri clutched his pullover. “Really? Pinky promise?” Rei held out his little finger. She linked their pinkies and they solemnly signified the oath.
According to Miri, the French toast turned out to be the best he’s ever made. Kazuki thought so, too, but not because of the taste.
After dinner and washing the dishes, Miri was still bouncing off the walls as if she didn’t know where to put all her happiness. She told them more stories about her friends, about the grocery store her mother was working at when she was in daycare and the playground that was around the corner. When she started to ramble about her new favorite card game, she asked them to play it with her and ran into her room. Misaki didn’t follow them, so it was just the three of them, playing cards on the ground in the narrow children’s room. After a lot of rounds, Miri had to fight keeping her eyes open.
Kazuki started to sort the cards back into the box. “Come on, time to brush your teeth and to choose a bedtime story.”
“No, I’m not tired yet!” Miri jumped on her feet alarmed. “One more round! Or wait, I still haven’t shown you the glitter snowflakes we crafted in daycare yet!”
Before Miri could take another step, Kazuki gently put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s already late Miri, just show us next time, yeah?”
Miri’s eyes turned sad, “Tomorrow?”
Kazuki wanted to say yes, but they needed to talk to Misaki first. There would be no lies or false promises from now on. Before he knew what to answer, Miri asked, “Are you not going to take me home again?”
Kazuki’s heart ached. This question was even more complicated, first of all because their flat had been burned down and they still needed to find a new, permanent home. But explaining this was way too heavy right before bedtime.
Rei closed the box of the card game to put it away and said, “We either see each other or talk on the phone tomorrow. It’s part of the pinky promise.”
The way Rei had said it contained a finality that calmed Miri down. Before she could inquire more, Kazuki picked her up. “So, which color has your toothbrush?”
After Miri had said goodnight to her mother, and Kazuki and Rei had put her to bed with a picture book Kazuki still knew by heart, the three of them sat at the kitchen table. Just like last time it was her on the one and them on the other side.
Misaki smelled like smoke. The room luckily did not. Kazuki couldn’t comprehend how she could even look at a cigarette pack considering her cancer disease. That wasn’t a topic for this talk, though.
First and foremost, Kazuki was grateful how this day had turned out and that Miri didn’t resent them for just up and leaving. “You told her we left for work… temporarily?”
Misaki gripped her teacup and looked at it. “Yes, I didn’t want to break her heart and I don’t think she would have believed that you just left her anyway. Not with how… Not with the lasting impression you’ve made. I told her you had urgent business abroad,” – She looked at Rei, and Kazuki thought that Kyu-chan had most likely shared his stupid cover stories with her. Then she looked at Kazuki. – “and that you didn’t want him to be lonely while Miri could stay with me. She didn’t question that. I hoped it would just sort itself out the more time went by.”
Rei answered without much intonation, but Kazuki could read his anger on Miri’s behalf in his frown, “The slow realization could have hurt way more.”
In his mind Kazuki agreed – amazed how long Miri had believed in them – but with how things had turned out, Misaki could have done worse. “Thank you. For not making her hate us.”
Misaki gave a curt nod and changed the subject, looking directly at them, “What happened? Why are you here? I've thought we’d agreed that Miri is safer with me.”
Kazuki started to seethe with anger. That was pretty audacious coming from a terminally ill person. He felt Rei’s leg lean against his and bit his tongue. Miri would be the happiest if they all got along. And Misaki calling the police on them was an inconvenience he was sure they could manage but after the exhausting last weeks definitely didn’t need right now. So Kazuki tried to keep calm, “We’re not involved in anything dangerous anymore. We got rid of the threat. Any kind of threat. For good.”
“Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.” Rei said with a severity that seemed to convince Misaki, going by the different emotions that briefly showed on her face. The last two months had unlocked an unyielding authority in Rei that didn’t need many words.
Kazuki unconsciously glanced at Rei’s thigh that was wrapped under his clothes. They were both littered with scrapes and bruises, and a graze wound here and there. Nothing really serious, though. Kazuki still couldn’t believe that they’d seriously made it and without major injuries at that.
Their wish for change had driven them to do the impossible, because it had finally outweighed the threat of losing their own lives. After the last day with Miri, after they’d returned to a too quiet home, Rei had told him what his father had expected of him. Kazuki had been so grateful that Rei hadn’t just left without an explanation – like he probably would have done over a year ago – it would have tipped him over the edge.
Instead, they had talked it through. Just mindlessly following the orders of the organization wasn’t something Kazuki could have done anymore. And Rei hadn’t thought that he could have freely led the organization as long as his father had been alive. He’d wanted him gone and nothing to do with the organization anymore, either.
“Kill or be killed, boss.” Rei had said fraught with meaning when he’d put a bullet between his eyes. They’d kept the Suwa wealth for themselves and used the organization’s money to equally pay off anyone contracted. The bookie’s dumbstruck look after Rei had given him that order was something Kazuki would never forget.
They’d gotten rid of a huge part of the organization that way. Even made some allies who apparently had had their own struggles with being bound to it. Of course, they’d instantly made a bunch of enemies too. Psychopaths like Ogino and other sadistic or especially greedy assassins had tried to off them for destroying a perfectly fine, functioning system that had favored them.
So the last two month had been a big, messy agglomerate of close calls, little sleep, and lots of escaping, chasing and shooting. They’d had the upper hand, though, because they’d been able to hire help, all as competent as Kyu-chan, and because they’d had all personal information of their enemies in neatly organized files. They’d made absolutely sure to leave no loose ends and had ultimately gotten their revenge and freedom.
Misaki looked at them with hard eyes. “So you’re here to take Miri back? To get rid of me now?”
Kazuki realized that she probably had all reason to always expect the worst and said diplomatically, “No, we’re here to find the best solution for Miri, for now and in the long run. And we’re convinced that we’re a part of it.”
Misaki kept silent. It annoyed Kazuki that he couldn’t tell at all what she was thinking. From what he’d gathered she was a single mother with financial problems who didn’t know how long she would live. She had to see that Miri would only profit if they were back in the picture. “What happened to going to your parents?”
She grimaced. “My father was diagnosed with dementia a year ago. I didn’t know. He has aggressive and violent phases and my mother… We’re not moving there, not as it is right now.”
Did that mean she didn’t have a plan for Miri in case her cancer got worse? Kazuki felt the suppressed anger rise inside him again. “And how are you doing?”
“Same as before. Nothing has changed since December.” Kazuki’s eyes fell to her blue scarf.
“You don’t look the same.” Rei stated bluntly. He was right. She’s been looking more and more exhausted since this afternoon and there was no comparison to that day back in December, makeup or not.
Misaki looked like she didn’t want to answer. “Miri has a lot of energy, I still need to get used to it again.” – Miri’s energy level was perfectly fine for a five-year-old, Kazuki thought cynically. – “That doesn’t mean I just let you take her away.”
Kazuki suppressed a sigh. “Like I said, that’s not what we’re here for. Miri loves you, you’re an important part of her life. But you have to see that that applies to us, too.”
After a moment her shoulders dropped a bit and her expression became resigned. “Okay. What are you proposing?”
Kazuki felt some of his tension start to dissolve, too. “We move close to you, into this neighborhood, and Miri can take turns at staying at your place and at ours. We’ll find a rhythm that works best for everyone.”
Misaki looked surprised and said slightly warily, “Okay.”
“If you need support with rent or any kind of medical fees, we could help out with that, too, and—“ Kazuki wanted to add more, but Misaki interrupted him vehemently, “I am not your charity case!”
Kazuki couldn’t stop himself from shooting the angry look right back at her. “It’s not charity. It’s the selfish wish to have Miri have a mother for as long as pos—”
Suddenly Rei put hand on his shoulder and stood up. Walking towards Miri’s room he called her name. In response, Miri opened the door that hadn’t been completed closed anymore and dashed into Rei’s arms.
Miri was crying. “Please don’t argue, can’t we all just go home together? Rei-papa doesn’t sleep in his bed anyway.”
If there weren’t tears running down Miri’s cheeks, Kazuki could have laughed how she kept implying every now and again that Rei slept in his bed, whereas Miri actually meant the bathtub.
Rei picked her up and rubbed her back. Misaki asked distressed, “Do you not consider this your home, Miri?”
Miri didn’t answer. Instead she pressed her face into Rei’s neck and kept sobbing and hiccupping. It was way too late for her after a very emotional day. She needed reassurance and sleep, not arguing parents and grave discussions.
Kazuki stood up to go to Miri’s room. Looking at Misaki, he said, “Come on.” Rei followed him, Miri’s sobs slowly getting quieter. They laid Miri into her bed, who didn’t let go of Rei’s hand, and huddled close to it. Three grown adults around a little child’s bed in a cramped room.
Misaki had taken the penguin from the kitchen with her and gave it to Miri. Miri hugged the plushie tightly with one arm and mumbled into its head, “Please don’t leave while I’m sleeping.”
Oh yes, that was what happened with Misaki in December, wasn’t it? Understanding Miri’s train of thought, Kazuki felt like crying himself again.
Misaki stroked her hair with gentle fingers. “They’ll have to, they can’t sleep here, sweetie. But you see each other again soon. You made a pinky promise, didn’t you?”
Miri nodded and was so overtired that she didn’t say anything else. Kazuki looked at Misaki. She looked back with a serious expression and gave him a nod.
They all stayed until they were absolutely sure that Miri was soundly asleep. Then they went back to the kitchen table to plan their future.
They made it work. After Kazuki and Rei had found a new flat and had settled in, Miri started to live three days a week at their place. After a while it increased to four.
Sometimes all of them spent a day on the weekend or a holiday together. They also always showed up to daycare happenings as a foursome. Understandably, the other moms tried to find out what has been going on with them, but it turned out Misaki could politely sweet-talk them out of any uncomfortable questions.
Without noticing, they struck up a friendship with Misaki. The things Kazuki had resented her for had dulled with time, seeing how she honestly tried to change for the better for Miri. Moreover, the way she had regrets and had had her own bunch of depressing times in her past made it inevitable to relate to one another.
They made a day trip to a small-town close by so that Miri could meet her grandparents. From what Kazuki had gathered from Misaki’s stories her bossy father was a lot older than her mother who never stood up for herself. Their relationship had apparently not been very healthy. It was hard to tell any of that when they met them, though.
Miri’s grandfather was in a very forgetful phase when they visited. Admirably, Miri didn’t mind explaining him the rules of her card game again and again. Her grandmother was very polite and quiet. The way her face was sunken in made her look a lot older than she was, tough. It was noticeable that the relationship between Misaki and her parents was very estranged, so for the time being another visit didn’t come up. Still, it was nice to have a picture of Miri, her family and her relatives together for her photo album.
One day before Rei’s birthday, Kazuki and Miri found a stray cat on their way home from daycare. There was no reason anymore not take it home after a short checkup at the vet. Rei was immediately in love and Kazuki was certain they’d never ever top that birthday present.
Just in case Kazuki and Rei had gotten a flat with a spare room. It proofed useful when Miri was in first grade and Misaki’s health started to slowly decline. Although it was a sad circumstance, it understandably made Miri extremely happy to live with her whole family in one home now. That was enough reason for Kazuki and Rei to get used to their new roommate fast.
No matter what hardships the future would bring, Kazuki and Rei would make sure to overcome them with Miri. Love was going to be a constant in her life and not something to fight for. With hearts full of hope, they vowed to give her the best, normal life possible.