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Luz sat in Willow's empty bedroom. The walls were now barren and bleak. Old photos sat on her nightstand, having previously been taken down and soon being pocketed away. She also had an album of pictures but of course all that love Willow had couldn't be contained with just one scrapbook so the rest were displayed in almost every nook and cranny around her room. She had almost finished collecting all of them but there was still one left hanging on the string. She specifically kept this one for last but she doesn't know why.
She leaned over the bed and plucked the photo out of its clip. It was an old photo of all three of them. It was so old that Gus was still pint sized and Luz remembered how she had to lean back to get him in the picture as well. Willow had her arms wrapped around the two of them as she grinned from ear to ear.
"Luz, are you crying?"
"Only a little!" She swallowed a lump in her throat and let out a little laugh. "Do you remember when we took this?" She asked.
She leaned over her shoulder and gasped. "Oh! That's from our last year at Hexside!"
"Hey, you're right!" She said, pointing out one of Principal Bump's trophies behind the glass case. "Do you remember how much Principal Bump cried during graduation?"
Willow giggled with a nod and then sighed upon resting her head on her shoulders. All Luz could hear though was her heart pounding through her ears and everything turning to static. To be honest, she was incredibly nervous and only barely kept it together by a thread. Did Willow notice it too? She was so used to losing friends but then her friendship with Willow became the new normal and now she's losing her too…
"C'mon," She lightly nudged her and tucked the photo away in her pocket. "Let's get moving. I want to get most of my room packed up before dinner!" She said as she dragged her to her feet.
She stared at the hands holding hers, warm and soft and comforting. They lingered a second longer before they separated. "Okay," Luz said, snapping herself out of that thought. "What's next on the agenda?"
"How about...we take care of these books next."
"On it!" She saluted before dragging a box over and flopping down next to the bookcase, Willow soon following suite.
The sun was starting to break through the curtains of her flower room. The sky turned into a painting of indigo and yellow, splashing into the room. Willow sat in the light, half lidded eyes and a crooked smile on her face. Luz wanted to reach out and hold onto that. She was truly in her element, in the corners of her room where no one expected anything from her. She likes that Willow can just...allow herself to be like this around her. She really loves it, actually.
"So…" She scoffed, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. Maybe making small talk will keep the butterflies from fluttering in her stomach. Besides, it was only a couple days until Willow had to leave so she might as well and make the best of it. "You're studying botany, right?"
Nevermind. That's quite possibly the worst thing you could've said, Luz. Hopefully she thinks it's a joke and plays along, otherwise she just might consider jumping out the window right about now.
"How'd you know?" She asked in amusement, a snort escaping from her nose with her stifled laughter.
Crisis averted.
"Lucky guess?" She chuckled with a shrug.
Willow laughed out loud this time and Luz's heart skipped a beat before it died down. She noticed her expression soured a little, it wasn't hard to figure out why when she followed her gaze. So, she opened her mouth to speak but instead Willow spoke first. "That reminds me though...I'm not gonna be able to take all of my plants with me when I go."
"Let me help!" She nearly jumped out of her seat in excitement. "I could take care of your plant babies while you're away!"
"I'm sure my Dads wouldn't mind taking care of them for me. You don't have to do that."
"It's not a big deal, I swear!"
"Are you sure?"
"Willow, I've been helping in my mom's garden my whole life! I know this stuff like the back of my hand! And I promise, I won't let anything happen to them!"
"Alright, but only if you're okay with me texting you every minute of the day to ask if they're doing okay."
"I literally wouldn't have it any other way!"
"Okay," A smile spread across her face with a faint blush tinting her cheeks. "I'll let you know when you can pick them up."
So, they began taking down the books one by one but found that there weren't many worth taking with her. Their stack of books only grew taller but Willow would never get rid of these old books, even if the textbooks she kept had dated back all the way to her 1st grade year. Then it was easy to tell which ones were from her middle school year because Luz often drew little doodles on the corners of the pages, with permission of course. She smiled to herself, remembering how they used to draw "tattoos" on each other. She's pretty sure Willow spent a whole day with an arm sleeve without washing it off, even withstanding through her roller derby practices. That was one of Luz's finest artworks.
She decided to flip through some of these pages, seeing if there was anything that she could vividly recall. There was that time during Professor Hermonculus's class where Luz was trying to cheer her up and they hid away an entire conversation through pencil and paper. Remarkably they never got caught, or Hermonculus didn't care enough to scold them for it. Either way, it wasn't long until Willow switched classes so she wouldn't have to put up with him anymore. After that, it was mostly doodles over her agenda and Luz decided she wouldn't snoop too much past that since she knew once they reached highschool, Willow made it a point to keep her agenda more private.
Then, eventually there was the prep rally and Luz either screamed at the top of her lungs or tried her best to draw the scene around her, right down to the very players running down the court. And when Luz cheered, Willow and Gus only cheered twice as loud. They spent the class periods counting down the hours until it finally arrived, obvious since Willow's plans veered off into bolded letters and writing that clearly wasn't her own. She's pretty sure Gus also joined in on the fun.
She reached the end of her agenda, a sheet of notebook paper creeping past the edges and she's surprised she never noticed it until now. She didn't have an idea of what it could've been though and if it was something personal then she'd pretend like she never saw it. She plucked the paper out of hiding and glanced over it. A shudder went down her spine, the only reasonable reaction to seeing your old artwork.
"You kept this?" She asked, bemused but utterly flattered if anyone thought her silly drawings were anything worth keeping.
"Why wouldn't I?" She immediately responded, her cheeks glowing as she beamed. From the friendship bracelets to the graffitied agendas and the passing of notes, what was one drawing more?
Her heart melted and when she really thought about it, it was really thoughtful to even consider keeping any of this stuff. Did she keep all this stuff just because of Luz? Surely not but she couldn't just shake the feeling. If Willow kept this drawing of her then there must've been a whole collection of other drawings she kept. Honestly, if it was Luz she probably would've just torn them up and thrown them away, she would know because she has done that multiple times. She always ended up regretting it in the end but someone else finding her garbage drawings was too scary to even consider another option.
"Do you still draw?" Willow asked as though reading her mind.
"I never stopped." She admitted, not thinking twice.
"That's what I figured but I never see you with your sketchbook anymore...so I thought I'd ask."
Right...when did that stop again? Must've been by the time they got into highschool and their classes kept them separated more often than not. That's when she started keeping it to herself since she had no one to share it with and people liked to ask too many questions or expected too much from her. It was overwhelming.
It got quiet again and they went back to organizing her bookshelf but her mind wandered elsewhere. It felt like the gravity of the situation was only sinking in more and more with each passing moment and an overwhelming sadness followed along with it. But she'd never keep her from chasing her dreams because she's never seen Willow so happy before. Everytime their hands brushed or their knees touched she couldn't help wanting more. And everytime she smiled that night it only ached, knowing that she wouldn't be able to share that happiness with her once she left.
Mami picked her up that night and she hummed to the radio. She yawned, letting her head rest against the window. At the very least, she'll always have her Mom.
She dragged herself to bed and spared a glance at the message on her phone. A goodnight text from Willow.
"Goodnight," She replied with a smile. "See you soon."
She held her phone to her chest. Things really won't be the same after this. It was only a matter of time until Gus left for college too and Luz was left with…
Well. What was left for her? She didn't know. She hoped that maybe by some miracle her books would be published and maybe she could do art commissions on the side. But that was only a maybe. If that didn't work out for her then she didn't know what else she could do. Maybe she could volunteer at her Mom's clinic? And Vee said that Masha still had openings at the history museum…
"Have you thought about college, mija?" Mami asked the next morning as they were preparing breakfast together.
Just when she thought she was done thinking about that, it was back fresh in her mind again. Of course, she always could move closer to Willow but what if she thought that was weird? Is college even meant for her anyways? She's always done decently at school but she'd never go back, even if paid to do so. It's always kind of stuck with her like a plague on her mind. What would she even do with a degree anyways? Would it be pointless, would it all be for nothing?
"I...don't know yet." Her fingers nervously tapped against the countertop as she stared at the sausages sizzling in the pan, avoiding her Mom's eyes. "Sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?" She playfully nudged her as she stifled a laugh. "I promise you, there's no rush." She said, in a soft gentle voice. "I didn't decide to go to college until my mid 30's and your father took up a trade while we were having you."
"What did he do before that…?" She timidly asked.
"Oh, a ton of odd jobs. It was something new everyday! I think that's what he liked most about it! And then, eventually he settled on being a mechanic." Luz leaned against her, her head falling on her shoulder as she sighed. "You'll be just fine, cariño." She said as she kissed her forehead.
"You're planning on seeing Willow later, right?" She nodded with a hum. "Wish her luck for me, would you?"
"I will."
"I think this is the last of them." Willow said, holding on tightly to the potted plant. She looked down and stroked one of its petals.
One night she told her that before she had anyone else, she always had plants to talk to so she would rant to them about various different topics like they were real people. In fact, she's certain she overheard her a couple months back doing exactly that so perhaps that attachment never went away. She kind of wanted to ask if she ever named them too but she doesn't know if Willow even remembers that conversation since they never brought it up since then. To be fair, they stayed up that night until daylight broke through so it was probably just her insomnia ridden brain saying whatever she could think of to have a reason to keep talking.
"Isn't that weird?" She remembers her nervous laughter as she hid her face in her hands in complete embarrassment.
"Hey, that's not nearly as weird as collecting snake skin!"
So, really it wasn't that weird. Honestly, it was easy to understand why she'd have a hard time letting go.
"Here." She finally said as she held it out for her.
"Are you sure you're okay with me taking this one?" She asked again, just to be sure. Their hands grazed each other's as they held onto the pot a moment longer.
"Luz, I trust you with my life. I know you won't let anything bad happen to them." A feeling of pride washed over her hearing those words being said so boldly, so certainly, it almost caught her off guard. "Besides," She said, finally letting go. "I've...helped in your Mother's garden before, right?" She averted her gaze and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "So, now we're even!" She proclaimed with her hands on her hips.
"Okay," She smiled and pointed her head towards the door, ushering her to follow her. "Let's load this baby up!" She said hi to the Parks in the kitchen before they turned out the front door. "And don't worry, I'll drive extra careful!"
Since she was using her mom's car for transportation it was kind of a requirement to be careful anyhow. She opened the back door and settled the last plant in the open box, bubble wrapping snuggly wrapped around each pot.
As soon as she turned back around they wrapped each other up in a tight hug. "Tuesday, 9 am. Don't forget, okay?"
"Promise!" She said, hugging her back.
Tuesday they were planning to meet up with Gus, right before Willow left for college so they could spend the whole day together. Until then, Amity sent her a gift basket and did her hair for her one last time. Amity was actually taking a gap year before she started college but she was planning on going to the same college as Willow so they could make up for lost time.
Meanwhile, Luz was agonizing over the whole thing.
"C'mon Luz," She groaned, dragging her hands over her face. "Go. To. Sleep."
She closed her eyes once more. But the pillow was too warm so she flipped it over. Then the blanket was too warm so she threw it off. And then it was too cold so she kept one half of her body under the blankets and the other half out. And then her nose itched. And then the jacket in her room started looking too suspiciously monster-like. Then she heard her heart beating in her ears so she flopped over on her back and stared at the ceiling.
"Nothing bad is going to happen." She tried to reassure herself. "We're going to have fun tomorrow. And I'm not getting in the way of that."
Still though, this would be the last time all three of them hangout together and she didn't know when that next time would be.
She got up that morning on only a couple hours of sleep but that didn't matter nearly as much as spending time with them did.
First, they met up at an arcade. The same one they got banned from a couple years ago for being too much to handle and their banned posters still hung on the back wall. (Which they posed with for prosperity purposes.) Then they went to the movies and saw some anime movie that Gus was really excited to see. Luz got him into the series in the first place but she can't say she loved it as much as she used to. Still, she squealed each time her favorite character was on screen. And then, they stopped by a small diner for lunch.
Luz folded the paper menu into a triangle and Gus, in response, held his fingers up for a field goal. They were always regulars at this place so the waiters already knew what they liked to order but on the occasion that they'd want something different, they still handed out the menus anyhow. Meanwhile, Willow was scanning over it with a fiendish smirk growing on her face. Luz caught a glimpse but didn't think much of it.
"I'll be paying for this one!" Willow declared at the end of their meal. "And," She continued before Luz had a chance to argue because she knew she would. "I have a little surprise."
Suddenly, their waitress bounded over with dessert. Was that...cinnamon funnel cake? Wasn't that supposed to be discontinued? And yet it didn't look any different than it did four years ago. White icing oozed from the sides and the air smelled of rich cinnamon. Honestly she was just upset that she didn't think of this first!
"You're the best, Willow!" Gus leaped out of his seat, ready to jump over the table to envelop her in a hug.
"What did you do to convince them to make this for us?" A sly tone lacing her voice like she totally wasn't planning on writing this down for later.
"Three things," She cleared her throat and sat straight up in her seat. "Persistence, Bribery, and Favoritism."
"I knew it," Gus smirked, propping his chin up with his hand. "We're too lovable to get rid of!"
Meanwhile, Luz was all the more focused on the bribery part and she groaned. You could always count on Eda for milking them for all their money's worth, even if they were only dumb 14 year olds. Especially if they were dumb 14 year olds. But she had them like a hook on her finger since she was the only one who would tolerate them. So, Eda was there in a way that mattered...kinda.
"Are you sure you don't wanna split the bill?" Luz asked, knowing how Eda could get.
"Hey!" Eda suddenly appeared at her side and lightly smacked her on top of the head with the papered menus she was handing out. "Watch it or I'll start charging more!"
"Heyyyy Eda..." She looked up at her with the most innocent pair of eyes she could muster. "Did anyone tell you, you look lovely today?" She forced a smile and finger guns in hopes that her irresistible charm would break through to her.
She wanted to be mad but she rolled her eyes which really meant that she loved it. She then pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed in exhaustion. "You know…" She looked at Luz, scratching her chin and then a smile slowly crawled up her lips and for a second she thought she hit her soft spot. "I think Willow was actually my favorite out of the three of you."
"What!?"
"Hey! What about Gus!?"
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" She howled, her golden fang shining in the sunlight. "I don't have a favorite!" She waved it off. "Maybe."
Willow quietly smiled to herself while Luz was in shambles, head face down on the table as she mourned her loss.
"I don't get it," Gus pondered, his face hardened. "All those times I spent cleaning the kitchen? Was that all for nothing?"
"Oh don't worry, Goops," Eda said, shrugging it off. "You were a big help during rush hour."
"Do you even know my real name!?"
Eda didn't respond to that.
"Guys, the cake is getting cold." Willow spoke up, poking at the last of her slice. Eda used that opportunity to escape back into the kitchen and Luz would pretend like she didn't see her winking at Willow for her little diversion.
So, that's why she was her favorite.
By now, the sun was starting to fall from the sky which meant it was time for Willow to leave. The three of them hovered in front of the Park's home and stared at one another, too afraid to break the silence in hopes that it would've made saying goodbye easier. But at the same time, they had to make this goodbye something she'd remember. Something that they'd remember.
Willow never cried often, especially in front of other people, but today it was getting tougher and tougher for her to hold back the tears. They heard her sniffle and they instinctively wrapped her arms around her, enveloping her in a hug that she'd never forget. Willow didn't want to leave them behind, she never did. It was a hard decision but it was for something she strived hard to get so and it was for something she was extremely passionate about. No one was going to keep her from that.
"Don't worry, it's gonna be hard getting rid of us for long!" Luz said with a tight squeeze.
"Yeah, I'll break into that college or die trying!" Gus added with another squeeze.
"Y-You're not dying on my watch." She wearily chuckled through ragged breaths.
Then, after a moment, she finally broke. After countless tries of swallowing the lump in her throat and blinking through teary eyes, she finally broke. She clenched onto their shirts like she was holding on for dear life. And she cried. Once the tears started falling they couldn't stop. And...no one was going to stop her from that either. They don't ever see Willow like this often but when it does happen, they're sure to be there to lift her back up off the ground.
This'll be the last time for that as well…
Luz couldn't bring herself to cry. Not here, anyways, and definitely not now when Willow needed it most. Gus still smiled, even if it pained him to do so. Willow has been there for him since the very beginning so it must have been hard for him too, if not harder.
Her grip loosened on the two of them as she was slowly regaining control of her rapid breaths. She swayed a little like that breakdown knocked all the wind out of her. Then, she smiled.
"You guys are the best." She said, holding them close.
"No," Gus said. " You're the best."
After about thirty minutes of debating who was the best, Luz would say that she felt lighter. She wasn't sad, but she wasn't happy either. But she was satisfied. It wasn't hard saying goodbye. What was hard was dealing with the silence afterwards. Something was missing. It wasn't something that could be drowned out by the radio and it wasn't something you could fill the hole with funnel cake with until you got sick.
Her stomach started twisting itself in knots. But why? They already said their goodbyes and what was done was done. She had to move on. And moving on wasn't so bad, was it? Besides, what else was there to do?
It was already starting to get dark out by the time she turned into her neighborhood and apparently her mind had already been made up.
She wasn't going back home. Not now.
She had something for Willow. Well, less of a something and more of a someone , if she would accept that someone anyway. She hoped that she would and even if she didn't she knew she wouldn't regret saying it. With her hands trembling on the steering wheel, even if she could think about how much she loved Willow that meant nothing if she didn't do anything about it. And she knows she should have done something sooner but she kept waiting on the right time.
She kept waiting and waiting but that time wasn't just going to come to her out of thin air. Now, here she is driving through the dead of night looking for the light. It was the worst possible time she could have chosen but if she didn't do this then it would've kept her up at night. There was no way she would've been satisfied with a phone call because who knows how Willow would've taken that.
She wanted to be something more to her. Something more than friends. A simple, "I love you", wouldn't have cut it because who didn't love their friends? They said, "I love you", to each other all the time and that would've just been another one of those times. Saying that you wanted to be more than friends was terrifying and it was something that Luz wasn't ready for yet.
But who's to say she was ready for this either?
She didn't really have a plan but she hoped that when she saw her it would fall into place. Because Willow always made it easier.
All she had to do was find Willow's little bee antenna on her car. How hard could it be? Especially on a moving highway. In the middle of the night.
God, this was a stupid idea. Willow could be anywhere by now. If she didn't find her on this highway then she had to hope that she at least wasn't out of town yet. Even still, this was about as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. Even if she planned on stopping at a hotel before driving the rest of the way in the morning. She was still using her mom's car so she needed to find her before morning. Until then, she thinks she can hold on at least a little bit longer.
She didn't know how many hours passed, she honestly didn't know how or why she kept driving. Was she really that eager to tie up loose ends?
...Yes, she really was.
She had to be around somewhere, she tried telling herself, but it was getting harder and harder to believe. She's been up and down at least three highways and has gone through eight music albums with still no sign of Willow or Clover anywhere.
Although...there was a hotel coming up. Maybe Willow would be there?
She pulled into the parking lot, slowing down to a crawl as she peered through each row of cars. No one was out walking around at this time of night though. She hoped no one got the wrong idea, she was just looking for a friend. Or- whatever they will be after this. Maybe they'll only ever be friends and really that's all Luz really could hope to be. She just needed her to know that she's loved and she would love to have her in her life no matter what.
After a moment, she considered turning around. The sleepiness was starting to eat away at her bones and the last thing she wanted to do was pass out at the wheel. She pulled into an open spot and the radio softly clicked to the next track. Every song had vanished into static in the background but this one was as clear as day. She lightly sang the lyrics to herself, if only to keep herself awake a little bit longer. She didn't even notice a car pulling in next to her and if not for that lucky person, she probably would have fallen asleep at the wheel right then and there.
She didn't know how long Willow must have been watching her, only that she definitely was by the smirk she wore on her face and the way she rested her chin on her hand over the open window.
"Go on," She said as the next song clicked into place. "You have a nice voice."
"Really?" She asked, suddenly bashful, as she tucked a hair behind her ear. "Papi used to sing it to me all the time when I was a kid."
She gave her a sympathetic smile and for a moment it was quiet again but it was a nice kind of quiet. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I forgot something." She mindlessly said, twiddling her thumbs. "Something…" Her hand twirled around as she tried to find a word to describe it. "Important?"
She stepped out of the car without another word, as if she knew exactly what she was planning.
Willow knew Luz. She didn't just know her, she read her like a book. She cracked the spine and annotated in the margins and held her close to her chest when she desperately needed an escape from the outside world. She knew the little things about most people but especially took note of them around Luz. A lot of people read Luz, sure, but reading and understanding were two different things. So, it was obvious then, that when Luz felt strongly about something she'd go extreme lengths to make her goal known even if it meant chasing her around for six hours on no sleep. That couldn't be summed up in "I forgot something" because she knows Luz and Luz wouldn't be Luz without shenanigans in her middle name.
Some people would call it a stupid decision, reckless and abhorrent but Willow would call it remarkably lovable, stunning and desirable.
Luz met her halfway and Willow rushed into her arms in a way that almost felt unreal. Her arms draped over her shoulders and Luz has only ever been the one initiating a hug like this, it only adds a dose to the dreamlike state she's in when she realizes she has to lean down to hug her this time. Then, she took all of the air out of her lungs a second time but this time it was a bit more literal. She could've opened her mouth to tell her she still needed to breathe but she thinks she needed this hug a lot more than something as abundant as oxygen.
For a second, Luz had the dumb idea of scooping her up but thought against it remembering that this isn't a dream. Her nerd arms were far too weak to carry her, no matter how badly she wanted to, she couldn't will that into existence. Or...maybe she could but unfortunately shenanigans were tallied off her list for today. The way Willow pressed against her was all that she really needed. Even if she was standing on her toes she made it a point to be as close as possible to her. Chest to chest, knee to knee, and chin to shoulders. The smell of roses is all that she can smell but Willow's passing breath in her ear is all that she can think about.
Somehow, that small little thing was enough to make Luz's heart hammer like crazy and Willow never even said a thing. It's enough to make her skin tingle all over and it's enough to pierce through the fog of her brain, reminding her that yes, this is real. She was the one who chose to jump into her arms, voluntarily, and she still hasn't let go. This feeling wasn't something that could be made up.
She never even asked but Willow still answered that burning prayer in her heart.
"I'm glad to see you." She said as they parted but she kept her hands on her shoulders as she looked up at her with a wobbly grin on her face. Was she nervous?
"Me too." She smiled back, hoping it wasn't obvious how nervous she was right about now.
"So, what did you forget?" She raised a brow as her lips curled into a smirk. By the sound of it, it sounded like she already knew she was totally fibbing but at the same time was fine with playing along with whatever shenanigans she was up to tonight.
"Well...we've been friends for a while and uh…" She couldn't tell if it was her dumb sleep deprived brain or what but Willow was even cuter than before which she didn't think was possible. Even if they were standing in a dimly lit parking lot, Willow still had that same glint in her eyes and those dimpled cheeks that she had to restrain herself from even looking at her because that was somehow too much to handle. She sighed to herself, she had to come clean because if she didn't then this would continue to eat at her all night. "I wanted to do this in the right way but...there was never a right time. I don't know, I guess I thought it'd just fall into place on its own…"
"I don't even know if you feel the same way." Her fingers mindlessly tapped at her waist. "It's okay if you don't. I just needed to tell you before it was... too late."
When she looked at Willow again a rosy color dusted her cheeks and her eyes scanned her face as though looking for some punchline or joke but Luz simply stared back. She was making her uncomfortable, of course she was, why would she ever think of her as something more than a friend? C'mon, Luz, think of something to say, something to make this all better!
But then, Willow did something crazy. She kissed her.
Though...the peck on her lips was more like a question.
Kissing in the middle of a vast parking lot at 3 in the morning was probably unconventional and it definitely wasn't normal. Luckily, Willow had no desire to be either of those things. Everyone had their different opinions on what was considered "normal" and Willow spent too much of her life playing into those vague arbitrary standards. So, it wouldn't stop at one kiss. Willow would chase her with another kiss because she knows that's what she wants. Whatever happened after this, the sun will still rise tomorrow and they will still be standing.
She once told Luz while hiding out behind the bleachers, that no one could keep you from the things that you want. If she let other people decide how she felt about Luz then none of this would have been possible at all. The people who do matter, the people who support you, who stand behind you, and love you, those people are the ones worth listening to. Those people are the ones who accept you for all your flaws and accept you for all your silly quirks that make you who you are.
That was when Willow realized something about herself. The answer to all her questions was right there in front of her. Sometimes you ask yourself...what if? And you stop yourself before you even try. Sometimes the fear of rejection is too big and vast to even comprehend so you hide away. You tuck your heart into your sleeve and you bury your heart until no one can see it anymore. But what would happen if you succeeded? What would happen if you were accepted with open arms?
Eventually, with a little bit of pushing, Willow tried out for the Roller Derby team. And she succeeded.
None of this would have been possible without Luz and if it was then it wouldn't have happened in the same way. But she doesn't know how much longer she could have taken not knowing what true happiness felt like. She'll kiss her with every ounce of love in her heart and she'll kiss her as much as it takes for her to understand just how much.
Her heart ached knowing that she wouldn't get another chance to kiss her for a long while. She knew though, it was worth it if it felt just as amazing as this. Her hands trace up her back again as she holds her close but this time it's different. This time it's deliberate and firm, not like the soft ghost of a touch from earlier. This time, they know what they want and they're not afraid to show it.
And this feeling is new and exciting, electrifying and almost nauseating. It's the kind of feeling you could only wish to replicate so you hold onto it for as long as you can. Who knows what will become of them after this but for now they will hold onto each other for as long as it takes. Luz is the only person anchoring her to reality when her eyes flutter open and she's left breathless.
She's all wide-eyed and starstruck and can only express words through fits of giggling with her reddened cheeks. If she didn't need oxygen then she would've kissed her again. "I-! That was-! Wow!"
She was left speechless, unable to contain the tangle of words caught up in her throat but that's okay.
"Gee willikers…" Then she facepalmed herself when she realized what she just said.
And then all of that had vanished into thin air. All that composure, all those thoughts could only be summed up in thinly contained giggles which then erupted into belly-aching laughter so bad that she had to hold onto Luz to stand upright. Because this wasn't a dream, it was real, and maybe she could keep telling herself that but it wasn't as believable as the real thing. Luz made her brain turn into mush and of all the things she had to say after their first kiss it had to be, gee willikers.
Yep, that was her Luz.
"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" She said when Willow finally got the strength to keep her composure.
"Never!" She impulsively brought her hands up to the girl's cheeks, still burning red, and sighed. "I love you."
"Huh?" She did a double take and blinked. "I-I love you too." Her lips slowly curled up her cheeks and she let out a shaky breath like she couldn't believe the words she just said.
"And I'm gonna miss you even more now." She forced out a chuckle, her eyes downcast.
"Aw, don't worry! You can't get rid of me for long!"
"I know," She said, thumb rubbing her cheek. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
She leaned into the touch but her face grew with worry. She didn't know what exactly "it" would be. She never had a relationship before, let alone one that was separated by distance. "Everything's so different now…"
"A bad different?"
Then, she thought for a moment. All of this was different. But it was good. It was really good. So maybe, whatever lies ahead of them would be good to them too.
"No," She smiled. "A good kind of different."