Chapter Text
Coalesce
- to come together as a single whole entity -
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It’s cold… What an odd feeling.
They seem to have made some improvements to this model…
My hands brushed over my shivering body. Both my arms had goosebumps from the freezing air around me. I felt the cold of my fingertips as I explored this new form. My hands scurried around. I perceived even the slightest strike on the soft skin.
I let my fingers wander over the clothes as well. A scratchy but not uncomfortable long-sleeved shirt rested on my shoulders and very loosely fitting pants covered my legs. These don’t exactly fulfill their purpose of keeping the body warm.
I kept feeling. I noticed that I was standing.
Okay… So, I’m going back.
.
.
.
It feels weird… -- different than usual.
For a second the thoughts slipped my mind. Usual? What does that mean?
I shook my head trying to remember my initial thought, but it was gone. I shook my head again. Was it deleted? Why would they delete it?
Suddenly I felt the body relax, falling forward. My senses seemed to go numb. I didn’t hear the crash nor felt the contact with the ground. Only the stinging pain that followed.
My eyes shot open for the first time since I had awoken. What was that? What happened? I shook my head trying to remember but I was distracted by something else.
All I could see was darkness. All around me… Just a freezing, cold darkness.
I scurried back to my feet. My eyes flicked around searching for some sort light source to help them adjust to the darkness. But I found nothing.
I stumbled around trying to get a hold of something. Something I could grasp, something to give me information about where I was. I swung around rapidly until I tripped over something on the floor which sent my body crashing into a cold wall.
I froze as the loud sound of the crash echoed through the darkness.
I noticed through the echoes of the fading sound, that wherever I was, the space was narrow but spanned very high above me.
Where the FUCK am I?? I couldn’t recall ever being in such a room.
In fact… I didn’t remember anything. I held my breath at the realisation. How? I thought harder, searching every corner of my mind for a memory. Panic overtook my already disoriented mind. C’mon, I needed something! Anything! I didn’t care what but something! Something! Something!!
Mika…
The name echoed in my empty mind. Was it my name? I repeated it in my head and I even spoke it out loud a few times. My voice felt off in my ears but the queasy feeling it gave me was less important than this. Yeah, it was my name… I finally convinced myself of the coherency.
I breathed a sigh. That was something. At least I wasn’t fully lost. Still, it didn’t help me figure out what the hell was going on.
Then without warning, bright lights filled my vision. I shrieked and crouched down hiding my face in my hands. When nothing more happened I slowly uncovered my eyes, letting them get used to the brightness. Then I looked around.
The light wasn’t as harsh as it first appeared to be. Merely a glow emanated by a row of small round lamps. When I looked up I noticed that my previous assumption of the room's height wasn’t half bad. It was so tall that I couldn’t even see where the row of lights that ran along two of the four walls ended.
I didn’t have much time to inspect the metal box I was in further. A sudden tremble shook the floor and I fell to my knees. A loud creak followed, like metal on metal. I covered my ears to shield them from the shrill noise.
With another jolt, the room suddenly started moving upwards and my body smashed to the floor a second time.
The unsettling noise died down but was replaced by the harsh sound of chains echoing up and down through the room. It was a less painful sound than before, and I didn't feel the need to shield my ears anymore.
Sweat had started pouring down my forehead, dripping into my lap. I was again reminded of the cold when the moving air stroked my bare arms. I was not sure whether to warm or stabilize myself.
Only after another jolt did I quickly put my palms onto the floor, fingers gripping through the cold metal grid, clenching onto it for dear life…
My heart pounded and I was more than ever convinced that I might die here. My heart sank at the thought of that. Nowhere to go… No way to escape this fate.
I didn’t know where I was. I barely even knew who I was. Did I have a family? Would they look for me after I died? They might already be looking for me…
I felt water running down my face but this time it wasn’t sweat. My eyes burned from the air blowing past them and I quickly closed them causing even more tears to escape.
The movement made me sick, and I felt the urge to throw up.
I tried to get my mind off the situation. Trying to think of anything outside this room, I found myself in a beautiful house. A fire was lit in the fireplace, and it smelled like cinnamon tea. It didn’t seem like a memory but for the moment I found peace.
At least until that peace was shattered by another sharp jolt. I was thrown upwards, my body completely losing contact with the ground for a second. I crashed back down, landing heavily on the cold metal grid. Sharp prickles of pain shot through my body and the air was forced out of my lungs. My head screamed in agony and I saw stars.
I quickly figured it’d be safer to stay down and so I stayed how I was, hoping there wouldn’t be any other sudden jolts.
The trip seemed to drag on for ages. It felt longer but I knew it was almost thirty minutes that I was left with my uncertainty. I didn’t go back to the peaceful place in my mind. I felt like wherever I was going I had to be ready to run and hide at any moment.
Then suddenly the room came to a stop and a heavy silence filled the air. I pressed myself to the floor, fearing I would be hurtled upwards again but the room remained still. And the silence remained.
A relieved sigh left my lips as I unclenched my aching hands. I did it! At least for now, I dared to hope.
.
.
.
I slowly got to my feet. They were still a bit unsteady, but I managed to stand.
Only then I noticed voices coming from above.
“Hello?” I called out.
Once more I was startled by my own voice. Even though this was the second time I used it, it still felt unfamiliar. Just not quite right…
A loud clunk rang out above me, and a beam of light appeared across the ceiling. I quickly raised my hands above my head to cover my eyes from the blinding light. I heard grunts as the beam slowly widened.
The voices grew louder, and fear squeezed my heart. What if they don’t help me? What if they are the ones that put me here? I backed off a bit, retreating into the shadows of the room.
“Who is it?”
“What do you see?”
The voices were shushed and someone jumped down. The whatever-I-was-in swayed slightly under the newly added weight and I let out a shriek fearing we might fall. My eyes shot open and I glared at the dumbass that apparently was trying to kill us both.
I blinked into the light and quickly recognized a tall blonde boy. Suddenly, words shot into my head: Newt, Second-In-Command; low threat .
He stared at me for a few moments with a stone-faced expression. Then it switched to annoyance, and he shouted to the people above us: “It’s them…”
I heard other voices groan in annoyance. His glance stayed fixed on me, unleashing an uneasy feeling inside my chest. Do they know me? How? Why don’t I remember them?
I pressed further against the wall as the blond boy, Newt, started looking around. Only now I fully recognised the boxes and blankets sitting around us. They all had the same emblem on them. WCKD.
WCKD is good. A female voice sounded in my mind. What was that??
But my attention diverted from the strange voice. More shadows fell into the box, and I looked up at them. About thirty boys – probably not even all of them – stared down at me. My fear grew again and my heart began to race. I was trapped down here…
“Why are you here,” someone rudely asked me. A wave of confusion hit me.
“I— “ I hesitated, thinking about what they could possibly mean. Their looks made me want to fall back down the way I just came. But before I could think of an answer someone cut me off with a sarcastic, high-pitched voice: “I am here to survey your stay in the Killzone Experiment.”
The boys laughed and I tensed. “I don’t— I don’t remember…”
The boy inside the box, whose head had tilted upwards upon hearing the other boys' voices, snapped it back towards me, his eyes widening in surprise. "Shut it, ya shanks!" he yelled at them, making me jump at his loud tone. The laughter died down instantly.
He gave me a suspicious glance and asked: “What did you just say?”
His tone made my chest tighten with unease, but I still repeated my previous statement: “I don’t remember anything… I don’t know why I’m here.”
His face dropped for a moment, before he knitted his eyebrows. As I looked up, I noticed that the other boys had similar shocked expressions on their faces. The tightness in my chest grew even worse. Am I supposed to know something?
The cold of the metal slowly crept up my back but I didn’t dare to move. The blonde looked up to another boy and asked “What’d ya think Alby?”
The dark-skinned boy he’d addressed knit his eyebrows as well. Within a few seconds of my glance settling upon him a bunch of words shot into my head: Alby, Leader; mild threat.
I tried to ignore it, whatever it meant. Tensing like everyone else, I waited for his decision. “Get them up for now. We’ll figure something out.”
That didn’t sound very promising, but it was something… Although no one seemed willing to explain anything to me, I decided it’d be best if I do as they say… For now…
Suddenly life came into the boys. One of them lowered a rope from above. With a hand gesture, the blonde ordered me to him and helped me get into a big loop. I clutched the rope tightly as I was yanked towards the sky.
Hands reached down to grab me. I wasn’t prepared for that and quickly dodged them. Momentarily having forgotten that I was in the air I ended up leaning a little too far than I had intended to. I didn't fall, luckily, but smashed the back of my head against the stone. My skull roared and I was about to fall back down but my body instinctively swung up almost by itself and climbed out.
I was left laying on the floor groaning in pain. Still, I managed to look around. Two boys stepped to my side, while the rest of them stayed at a distance. I managed to catch a glimpse of what lay behind them.
My eyes widened in surprise. I found myself in a vast courtyard, surrounded by what seemed like 100 feet-tall walls of concrete. What the hell is this place?
My head still hurt like shit and I felt it pulsating on the back. Newt and Alby stood next to me. I slightly lifted my head. I should probably show some respect in front of the two leaders… If my mind’s information was true and they were the leaders–
Their faces were like stone as they whispered something to each other. I tried to ignore the pain and slowly sat up, bringing a hand to the back of my head to feel the bruise. But instead, I felt a thick substance coating my fingers. As I brought them into view, I recognized it as blood.
That’s… new… I caught myself thinking. Huh? But I quickly brushed the unnerving thoughts off as a side effect of the collision with the concrete.
A gasp went through the crowd of boys as they spotted the blood on my fingers. Newt quickly kneeled next to me. “What the shuck?” He mumbled more to himself than to me.
Everyone’s faces were filled with confusion and whispers grew loud. What?? Was something wrong?? But no one cared to explain to me what was wrong.
Instead, a so-called Med-Jack was summoned. I somehow knew that the boy - Clint - was ok to trust and I let him aid me. But he ignored my attempts at finding out what was going on and avoided all eye contact. Rude!
Alby and Newt had sent off the rest of the group and retreated a bit farther away to talk. I was sooo close to just grabbing one of them by the collar and shouting at them to fucking explain what was going on. But I kept my calm until the two returned.
Clint was dismissed and we three were left alone. But not before he had whispered something into Alby’s ear. It made the boys frown. Shit, have I done something wrong already?? My heart started pounding like crazy… This was not what I planned when I had decided to just follow along.
A short moment of silence followed as they probably thought about how to deal with me now. I couldn’t stand the tension anymore and snapped at them. “Now, will you please explain to me what the fuck is happening?”
It came out harsher than intended but now it was too late to take back.
“Language.” Newt snapped back at me which left me startled for a moment. He also looked surprised. “Sorry, old habit,” he quickly apologised.
I would have laughed if the situation had been less serious.
They glanced at each other before Ably sighed and reached his hand out to me. “Welcome to the Glade, Greenie…”
I happily took the hand, glad something good was happening at this strange place. If the leader likes me there’s a good chance I’ll be fine, right?
“So, we just believe them,” a scratchy voice behind me said. I turned around and saw a group of boys strutting towards us. The one that led them was a tall, skinny guy with blonde hair and an angry face. Gally, Keeper of Builders, high threat.
I backed off a bit. High threat? My heart began to race again. And the fact that he kept angrily walking towards me didn’t make it any better.
“After all the last one did? Just because this one‘s a wee bit different, we should still get rid of them! Immediately this time. Especially after what happened!”
I glanced at the two boys beside me. They looked pissed but didn’t seem like they were disagreeing with Gally. I swallowed hard. My mind raced. What should I do? He looks like he’s about to beat me up.
“If you won’t do it, I’ll get rid of them myself!” Gally yelled. “Gally, we talked about this,“ Newt tried to defend me. But that didn’t stop the boy from suddenly charging at me.
I realised I had good instincts because it seemed like I knew when to run. And at that moment it was definitely time to. Before they could reach me I bolted, pushing past the boys behind me to take the only available way out.
With no time to think, all I could do was run but I quickly got an idea of where I could go. Each of the enormous walls seemed to have an opening that led into what looked like long corridors.
I rushed towards the nearest opening. If they really want to get rid of me, then I’ll be safer out there… I somehow knew they wouldn’t follow me out.
Run, repeated in my head. Run, run, run . And I did. I kept sprinting towards the exit. I could hear yelling behind me, but I didn’t turn around.
The opening was only a few yards away when I felt someone quickly approaching from behind. With a quick glance, I knew that someone was named Ben. Again, information about him slipped in my head: Runner, mild threat.
He was fast, not necessarily faster than me but he would catch me before I could get away. Quickly, a new plan formed in my head. I kept running and once I knew he had leaped towards me I took a sharp left turn back inward the courtyard.
I heard him cursing as he hit the ground, face first and a smile crept on my face. But it didn’t last very long as I spotted another one sprinting at me. Minho, Keeper of Runners, high threat.
Oh shit…
He was even faster than the first one, but I kept running, trying to get to another exit. My feet flew across the lawn without problem, but he closed in on me with every second that passed.
The exit was too far, I wouldn’t make it if he kept getting closer. I need to fight him off . I quickly decided what to do. Stopping abruptly I spun around to face the boy chasing me. He tripped, his reflexes failing at the abrupt halt.
But he didn’t give up and leaped towards me headfirst, ready to take me down with him. Now, I hadn’t expected that, but my body managed to react on its own.
I turned my body so he would fly past me. Then I quickly grabbed his shoulders, simultaneously pushing my body back so I’d stop his fall to the floor. He was limp from the shock and the quickness of my actions and so I easily managed to put him in a headlock. Phew, that was… interesting…
When he started struggling, hitting my arms and my stomach it was already too late. I had a firm grip on him. Although his hits were painful, I didn’t let go. Only when I saw the others closing in on us my grip accidentally loosened a bit.
He quickly took the chance and ripped my arms off him. Throwing me to the ground and he got a hold of my wrists and pinned them to the ground beside me. I couldn’t defend myself anymore. “You’ve caused enough trouble. You should be a little nicer if you don’t want to be thrown out again!” he hissed through his clenched teeth.
I glared up at him. “If you’re gonna throw me out anyways, you might as well let me go now!” I hissed back but he didn’t move a muscle.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed that the others would be with us in a few seconds. Gally was basically steaming, and Newt and Alby also didn’t look that friendly anymore.
My heart raced and with all my strength I fought against Minho’s grip. Fuck, fuck, fuck! They’re gonna hurt me if I stay! I need to go, NOW! The maze is safe! I need to get there! I screamed in my head.
I snapped my pleading eyes back to the boy above me. “Please, let me go! I don’t know what’s going on or what I did wrong. Please, I don’t know what they’ll do to me!” I begged, my desperation growing with every second.
For a moment a hint of confusion illuminated in his eyes. Although he didn’t loosen his grip, his look got a bit softer, almost hopeful.
“It’s you .”