Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In order to save yourself, you had to kill. To kill anything in your path; strangers, animals, roamers, you name it.

You had found this out when you were twelve, when everything in the world went to shit. Now, you didn’t even know how much time had passed, all you knew was the pure instinct to kill to protect yourself and the people around you.

Gathering branches to be used for a fire, you have been given the opportunity to think. How things could have changed if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. You wondered if you would have been able to graduate and get into the college of your dreams, if your brothers would have gotten their dream jobs.

If mom would’ve still been alive to see the brave teenage girl and toughened young men her children had turned into.

The thought made you shake your head rapidly. You had always been on the run, never having time to dwell on the past.

Rule one of the apocalypse: never think back. It will just slow you down.

Scrambling back up the sorry excuse of dry branches you had managed to gather, you scurried back to camp where you knew your brothers were waiting.

- - -

“You’re awfully quiet, what’s up?”

Chewing the last of your meat on the stick, you looked up at your older brother, Zach, from the burning flames that had encapsulated you.

You didn’t know why you were so quiet. Maybe it was just a day where you didn’t feel like talking, or maybe it was due to the fact that you had thought about your mother for a split second. Either way, you had replied with a shrug before going back to taking a bite of your poor yet somehow nutritious meal of rabbit meat.

Silence followed, the only sound coming from the light crackles of the controlled inferno in front of the three of you.

“...I found a map by the traintracks earlier. Some place called Terminus. I don’t know how far it is from out here, but maybe we can at least try.” You and Zach looked at Phoenix. The middle child sighed as he continued. “...we’ve been running for so long..I think it would be worth it to make the effort.”

Once again, silence. But not the same type of silence. This one was a type of pondering silence. You hadn’t seen other living people that hadn’t tried to kill you in what seemed like months. You had craved the idea of bonding with someone that wasn't your brothers. Sure, you had loved them dearly—they were the only family you had—but the loneliness was starting to get to you. You needed a girlfriend to talk to about girl problems; you hated asking your brothers for advice they had never experienced.

Just as your brother was about to open his mouth to respond, the sound of a stick cracking had caught the attention of you and your brothers.

Whipping yourselves around, the three of you stood protectively of your “land”, which was basically a small campfire along with your three backpacks you guys carried around everywhere. Swiftly taking your unloaded gun out of your holster, you inspected the silhouettes of behind the trees carefully; one missed detail and you were as good as gone.

Your eyes landed on what seemed to be three figures standing behind the bushes. You had glanced at Zach who had seen the trio just as well as you did.

“Hands up!” The young man demanded. You had always admired the bravery and leadership the oldest Renner sibling had, and you were eternally grateful that he was someone you could call family. With you and Phoenix being relatively introverted characters, it was a miracle that you two had a brother like Zach.

The three figures emerged from the shadows with their hands above their heads. Adjusting your eyes to the three in front of you, you examined them insightfully. Two were adults, one being a middle aged white man and the other being a black woman, one was a boy with a silly hat, around your age of approximately fourteen.

While the three looked harsh and threatening with the glares and confident postures they carried, it seemed evident that they did no harm. Just shaken by the horrors of the world, it didn’t look like they would attack unless they were provoked to do so.

Zach looked at his two little siblings and nodded his head to put their weapons down. Most of the tension subsided as the guns were laid back in their designated spots while the six looked at each other cautiously.

Somehow, Zach had managed to keep his composure talking to the three people with maturity and well-intentions. “We don’t want to start anything. If you don’t want to start anything and forget this ever happened, you can just walk away. Otherwise, we can talk and discuss further options.”

The middle aged man seemed to not want to go without answers, as he immediately went to answer, “Please, we just want to talk.”

Chapter Text

Digging the toes of your boots into the soil, the six of you sat in a circle around the small campfire, giving you all some warmth in the chilly weather outside.

You glanced at the three strangers in front of you, analyzing their faces once again before looking back at your brothers sitting between either side of you.

The silence was deafening as everyone awaited who would speak first.

Zach spoke up, taking control of the conversation. “What brings you here?” He sat up straight in an attempt to be more intimidating. Despite his short stature, his dark eyes made it clear that they shouldn’t mess with him.

The middle aged man had replied in a deep, dry voice. “We’re traveling. To Terminus, just like you.” Silence followed before he continued “...We had a group. If they had gone anywhere, it must be there.”

Zachary nodded, content with this answer. “We’re traveling as well. Not sure for how long, but it’s been a while. Our camp was attacked months ago, and we’ve been on the run ever since.” A short pause filled the gap before he carried on. “We aren’t searching for anyone specific, but just people we can trust. Maybe that’s you; maybe after this conversation you’re going to kill us, but we’re willing to take risks.”

The man nodded slightly before looking down onto the ground. He seemed to be exhausted, thinking hard about something until he looked back up at the siblings before asking his own set of questions.

“How many walkers have you killed?”

The three siblings gaped at each other, stunned by the odd question. Surely, nobody would count how many roamers that were killed at the hands of themself. It seemed like something that would remind you that these corpses were real people; that you were killing humans much like yourself.

“We don’t keep track. It will just slow us down.” The oldest Renner sibling stated firmly.

Silence followed before another question was thrown at you: “How many people have you killed?”

This question was even worse. They were people that you knew before they became those…things. You felt sick to your stomach thinking back to the several people you had to murder in the past few years. Just to protect yourself and your brothers.

Zach replied again, seeming to have no effect from these questions. “8 in total.”

You could feel Phoenix avert his eye contact with the three people in front of you. Out of the three of you, it was evident that he was the one that struggled with this fact the most. Being the most down-to-earth person you have ever met, he had never let go of his past morals. Unlike Zachary and yourself, whose perception of life changed due to being slung into this world abruptly at a young age.

The man pushed further: “Why?”

To you, the question was silly. Why even try to survive? Why did the world end up like this? Why were you even talking to them, when you could have killed them easily? You asked yourself “Why” every single day, but you had never thought to actually answer it.

Zach pondered again, furrowing his eyebrows like how he usually did when he was thinking intently.

“Because it’s the only way to make sure you come out alive.”

Chapter Text

In the past few years that the world has gone to hell, you had never felt the amount of trust that you did when you were around these people.

Other than your brothers, you had always been wary of who was out there, and what their intentions were. But for these three, it felt…different. A good kind of different.

You could tell from their eyes that they had been through a lot. Their story had been just as convincing, so vivid that you could even imagine yourself in their place. The pain in their eyes when they looked at you and your siblings made it evident that yes, they were truly looking for other people. Possibly ones that reminded them of yourselves.

Your brother had cooperated with the strangers, and they had agreed that it was best for all of you to stay together. You guys were going to the same destination anyway, why would you separate just to travel to the same place? Besides, you had supplies they needed, and they had resources that you guys lacked. It seemed that everyone won in this situation.

Deep down, you knew there was an underlying reason why they hadn’t killed you right then and there. You saw the way they looked at you and Phoenix, and the thick air that surrounded the idea that these kids have been on their own for so long, only being raised by a young man that barely seemed to be over the age of twenty-five. Maybe they knew someone like yourself and your brothers…maybe it was the boy they were reminded of. That there were people like him in the world without anyone to guide them.

People like you.

You had soon learned their names, the older man being Rick, and the young cowboy being his son, Carl. The woman was named Michonne, and, although you were intimidated by her at first, you had seen the way she looked at you, Phoenix, and Zachary, and immediately knew her sympathy towards the Renner siblings.

Sympathy you had never been given for years.

- - -

Sitting by the fire with your new group felt surreal yet comforting at the same time.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt safe in this world, and you never thought you could feel that way anymore. Everything around you was just so appalling you had just given up on the idea that people like this existed anymore.

Smelling the faint smoke of the fire, you sat curled up in the small camp you guys had set up for the past few days. Apparently, before meeting you guys, they had gotten into some trouble with a group, leading to some injuries that were still healing. In an act of sympathy, Phoenix had convinced Zach to camp out for a few days to get adjusted to each other and to let some of Rick’s wounds heal.

“How hungry are you, on a scale from one to ten?” Rick asked his son in an attempt to lighten the mood. You perked up curiously, as you hadn’t actually heard Carl speak thus far. Then again, you hadn’t spoken the past few days either unless it was to Phoenix or Zach.

“Fifteen.” Carl looked down at the fire with a small smile on his face.

It was undoubtedly true; you had ran out of food the day before, and currently Zach was roaming around the perimeter to find something–anything–edible for the six of you to share.

Rick looked at Michonne, awaiting her answer.

“Twenty-eight.”

The five of you chuckled quietly, the first smile appearing on your face in what seemed like weeks. Phoenix looked up from the few strings and scrap metal he fiddled with, and grinned at the woman’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“Yeah…it’s been a while.” The man stood up from his crouched position. “I’m gonna go check the snares.”

“Can I go with you?” Carl asked after blowing out a flame that started on a branch he was holding.

Rick smiled down at his son. “Well, how else are you gonna learn?”

The young boy got up excitedly, kicking some dirt onto the fireplace to ensure that the fire would become more controlled in the hands of a smaller group of people (i.e. yourself and Phoenix).

“Hey, you guys too.”

Michonne smiled warmly at the two before grabbing her katana from behind her and following suit.

Now it was just you and Phoenix.

“I think I’m going to stay here. Just in case Zach comes back so he doesn’t have to worry where you guys have gone.” Your brother turned down the offer kindly. You knew he wasn’t much of a survivalist, and wasn’t as great at adapting to the new world as you and Zach had—he was more of a navigator and builder, if anything else.

The three nodded, not bothering to push the shy teenager to go with them.

“I’ll go.”

The trio’s eyes snapped back in your direction, shocked by the fact you had even uttered a word to them, let alone agreeing to go with them to learn a new skill authorized by a man that they thought you were scared of.

You decided to continue to talk, the craving of conversing with someone consuming your body. “It wouldn’t hurt to learn something new.”

The unofficial leader of your group smiled slightly at the young girl who seemed to be opening up to them. After days with them, she’s finally spoken up!

“Let’s go.” Rick called as you grabbed your knife and nodded to Phoenix, who smiled worriedly before going back to his small project of strings and junk he found whilst traveling.

- - -

You trudged quietly behind Carl, Rick, and Michonne, in your own little world while they were talking in front of you about god knows what.

You weren’t even sure why you had agreed to go with them; surely, you could’ve just stayed with your brother by the fire, waiting for Zach to come back?

But there was something about these three that intrigued you. You weren’t suspicious of them, but they were interesting individuals to you. Where they came from, how they had met, what strived them to keep going.

Maybe it was because you hadn’t seen other people in what seemed like forever, but you craved to know more about this group of people, and possibly the ones they have lost along the way.

Your ears perked up at something you heard Carl ask his father: “When we get there, are we gonna tell them?”

Michonne asked a question back, “Tell them what?”

“Everything that’s happened to us. All the stuff we’ve done. Are we going to tell them the truth?”

What did he mean by that? Who was the “they” that he’s referring to? Did he mean you and your brothers? Or the people at Terminus? And what did he mean by “telling the truth”? Were they lying about who they were?

A million questions swarmed through your mind like a raging storm that couldn’t be contained, so incredibly bad that you didn’t listen further to their conversation in fear of something being revealed to you.

The young boy’s questions just made you more curious about him and his past.

“Hey.”

Unsheathing your knife, you quickly whipped your head in the opposite direction trying to find the source of the noise only to find your older brother stepping back in an attempt to dodge any possible moves made by his little sister.

“Good lord, calm down. It’s just me.” Zach commented sassily, making you smile and put away your weapon before muttering under your breath.

“Piece of shit.”

He hit you on the head with his free hand, his other arm firmly grasping his rifle that he stole from some police station a few weeks prior.

“Where are you guys headed?”

“Rick’s teaching us how to make traps for animals. Phoenix’s still at the site. Didn’t want to come with.”

The young man nodded as he trotted along with the rest of your group to the traps.

- - -

“There you go!” Rick sped up to the hidden trap with everyone else following behind him as he looked at the dead rabbit caught in the string. “It’s a small one, but it’ll do.” He murmured, sliding the carcass into his messenger bag.

“So, this is just a simple slipknot. You tie one on both ends, then you tighten one side to a branch. Now, you see on the ground here is sort of like a funnel shape?” Rick motioned his hand around the leaves on the ground, alluding something for his audience to figure out.

“It’s a trail?” Carl had asked.

“That’s right. That’s where you want to set the noose. So you hide it with leaves, then you put sticks all around it so any animals going by have to run this way right into the trap.” The man explained, his wrist getting caught on the small string to demonstrate his contraption.

“Interesting. I’ve never thought about doing that. Maybe Phoenix’s geeky bullshit can come in handy.” Zach teased his younger brother, making small chuckles come from the group.

“Help!”

A voice called in the distance, making the teenage boy in the cowboy hat get up and speed between the trees to help the poor stranger in trouble.

And for some odd reason, yourself as well.

You heard the adults chasing you by the tail, Carl and yours’ names being called out from behind you as the two of you scavenged for the source of the noise.

Stopping abruptly, the two of you saw a man surrounded by roamers, screaming for help as he tried to defend himself with a large stick.

You and Carl glanced at each other before nodding, the pair of you taking out your pistols and aiming at the corpses before being taken hold by your brother and his father.

Being dragged back by Zachary, you heard Rick whisper to Carl “We can’t help him,” before the five of you watched in horror as a chunk of the man’s face was torn off, his screams engulfing the otherwise silence of the woods.

“We’ve got to go.” Michonne cautioned as Rick and Zach dragged the two teenagers away from the horrifying scene in front of them and back to camp where Phoenix waited patiently.

A part of you had felt incredibly guilty for leaving the man by himself out there, but another part of you wouldn’t have known what to do.

You weren’t even sure why you had came to his rescue in the first place.

Chapter Text

“That’s really cool.”

Looking up from your small project, you turned to see Carl looking down at your hands in amazement.

You smiled bashfully at the boy’s comment as you continued weaving the strings together to create a bracelet. “Thanks…it helps keep my mind off of things.”

The thin pieces kept you occupied as you kept on talking, “I used to make them when I was younger…when I found the string while scavenging for supplies, I decided to pick it back up again.”

Carl nodded, smiling. “It’s super cool. I remember seeing people at school make them during recess. I was always surprised at how they could make them with such ease. I would probably tangle them all together and give up.” He leaned forward, studying the movement of your thin fingers moving rapidly to create a fishtail-like braid.

“...Do you want me to show you?”

He locked eyes with you before smiling warmly. “Sure.”

The two of you sat in an abandoned van while everyone else hung around a small fire outside. After your encounter with the stranger a few hours prior, the five of you fled to pick up Phoenix from your old campsite and scavenged for places with food. In the midst of your search, Carl had found the van the two of you were currently in.

Turning to face the boy in the passenger’s seat, you dug through your backpack before pulling out a handful of colorful string. “Pick out a few colors.”

The boy hesitated before picking out a fine assortment of colors: navy blue, white, baby blue, and gray.

You flashed him a warm smile before laying the colors out and snipping off the excess with a pair of safety scissors from your bag. You had decided that it was best to use the same colors as him, so it would be easier to follow.

You then took out two pieces of scotch tape and laid the strings down on the center storage box of the van before securing the pieces for easier control.

“Okay, so…”

- - -

“You’re a terrible teacher!” Carl laughed loudly as he looked at the final product of his bracelet.

“You just need some practice!” You giggled just as noisily as you held up your own. Comparing the two, yours was perfect and even, while he had multiple strings sticking out and a horrible assortment of knots going down.

Covering your face in laughter, you and Carl made fun of his sorry excuse of a bracelet in the old van. It had been a few hours since you had started teaching him, the sun already down and the only light coming from the campfire outside.

“Here, take mine.” You offered, handing him your bracelet.

Carl paused. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! I make these all the time. We can trade.” You pulled down the sleeve of your sweater to reveal six friendship bracelets of varying colors wrapping down your wrist.

Carl hesitates before taking the bracelet from your hands and giving you his deformed one.

Tying the blue and white band around you, you turned to him. “There. Now we’re matching.” You grinned as you helped the boy tie his friendship bracelet around his lanky wrist.

- - -

Rick, Michonne, and Zachary all laughed quietly by the fireplace, the soft crackling comforting the three of them after a long day.

“I’m glad they’re getting along well.” Zach turned his head to the van, seeing the silhouettes of you and Carl in the front seats sleeping comfortably. He heard the pair of you laughing earlier, making him sigh in relief knowing you were finally getting comfortable with their new group. He noticed how tense you got when meeting others, and he was glad to know that your worries were fading.

He squinted, making sure that Phoenix was also sleeping in the backseat with the two of you. He smiled a little, seeing his younger siblings finally becoming friendly with a boy closer to their age. Well, he thought they were similar ages. His brother and sister were sixteen and twelve when this whole thing started, and he only hoped that Carl was around that age when everything began, too.

Rick and Michonne talked to each other about Terminus while Zach sat and thought to himself. He wondered what the people there were like. If they were willing to take them in. If they would even blend in with the people already living there. If they could be trusted.

They heard branches snap.

Standing up cautiously, the three adults scanned the perimeter before looking back at the three teenagers in the van. They were safe.

Sitting back down, Rick and Michonne continued their conversation quietly. Zach crouched down rigidly, tightly holding onto his rifle in case there was an immediate threat he needed to take care of.

“Maybe this place isn’t even there anymore.” Rick started before a gun was pointed at his head.

“Oh deary, me! You screwed up, asshole.” The man behind the gun shouted.

Michonne quickly tried to grab her katana before another man with a gun kicked it down and pointed his weapon at her head.

Zach stood up swiftly, pointing his gun at the two men. That is, until two other men appeared behind him, grabbing his collar and dragging him on his knees, leaving the three adults defenseless against the several men ambushing them.

Waking up from the shouting, you, Carl, and Phoenix sat up to see a creepy old man smiling at the three of you menacingly, holding up his sharp knife next to Carl’s window. The way he looked at your friend made you nauseous. You had a man look at you like that a few months before. It made you sick to your stomach.

The boy backed away, terrified as Phoenix grabbed your shoulder while you instinctively held onto Carl’s arm as to pull him away from the passenger window. You looked out the dashboard window to see Rick, Michonne, and Zach being held hostage, hearing the muffled voice of the man holding his gun at Rick’s temple through the thin windows of the vehicle.

You wanted to scream, but you knew it would cause more problems than good to attract attention to yourself.

“Ten Mississippi.” The man counted down. You held on tighter to Carl’s arm, while Phoenix’s grip strengthened on your shoulder.

“Nine Mississippi.” Zach looked around confused. He had no idea what was going on. He looked at you and Phoenix, his heart dropping. He was absolutely helpless. He was going to lose you two. His eyes met Rick and Michonne, and he noticed they had the same expression.

They couldn’t lose Carl.

And he couldn’t lose you or Phoenix.

“Eight Mississippi.”

“Joe!”

A person walked out of the shadows. It was a rough looking man, matching the scratchy voice that just spoke. He was dressed in all black and carrying a crossbow.

Zach could see Rick’s eyes soften, leaving the young man puzzled. Did he know this guy?

“Hold up.” The man continued.

“You’re stopping me at eight, Daryl.” The man holding Rick and gunpoint stated firmly.

“Just…Hold up.”

“This is the guy that killed Lou, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.” The man holding Zachary down scowled, making him look at Rick suspiciously. He killed someone? And that’s why they’re in this mess?

The man, Daryl, conversed with the strangers to let you guys go. You could barely hear anything; not because it was too loud to hear, but because of the terror coursing through your veins as you watched the scene unfold. Not to mention the man breathing down your guys’ necks outside the car.

One of the men holding Zach hostage hit Daryl in the back with the butt of their rifle, ensuing a violent fight in front of you visible through the dashboard window. Your heartbeat quickened seeing as your one and only hope to be saved was being beaten to a pulp right in front of you.

The horror grew when the man opened the passenger door.

You lost your grip on Carl as he was dragged out of the van. “Get the hell off of him!” You shouted, about to climb out from the door to protect your friend until your brother held you back. “Let go of me!” You cried out, begging Phoenix to release you, but that just made his grip on you tighter.

You looked out the window, seeing a fearful and jittery Carl in the man’s hands. Panic washed over you like a bucket of ice was thrown at your face. All you wanted to do was scream and cry, but only a sob could escape your lips.

The door opened again. And before you knew it, you were pulled out of the van as well.

“Stop! No!” You heard Phoenix shout, but everything was muffled. You felt helpless. All you could see was the door closing as a gun was pressed against your brother’s head while you were pushed down on the ground harshly.

“S-Stop! Please…” You sobbed. Your words were barely decipherable as your wrists were pinned firmly on the hard gravel you were trapped on.

“Let her go!”

You didn’t know whose voice it was. You thought it was Zach’s. Maybe it was Phoenix. Possibly even Carl. You couldn’t focus on anything. The force in which your head hit the ground sent waves of pain throughout your body. Nothing made sense.

You heard a gunshot. The bang kept ringing in your ear as you felt the tightness of your waistband loosen.

“No. Please, please…please! No!” You whimpered. You couldn’t feel anything, but you were well aware of what was happening. If you tried to stop the man on top of you it would be a death sentence for everyone. It was absolute hell.

You didn’t know what happened. All you heard was the squelching of flesh and screaming.

The weight of the man being lifted off of you.

You could feel a hand lifting you up by your back, seeing Phoenix’s eyes as he grabbed your face and pressed it against his chest, averting your gaze away from Zach and the man he ripped away from you. You didn’t know what he was doing.

And you didn’t want to know.

Chapter Text

You cried a lot that night.

You cried, and cried, and cried. Nothing could stop the sheer feeling of horror radiating through your body.

After everything, you couldn’t recall a single thing. All you could remember were your brothers holding onto you for dear life while you sobbed.

You wouldn’t tell anyone, but you knew they were crying, too.

Zach sat in the back of the van, you lying back on his chest as you slept. He gazed down at you as he rubbed your arm.

His baby sister. Traumatized.

The young man looked next to him, seeing his little brother sleeping softly on his shoulder.

He sighed, leaning back on the side of the van, closing his eyes for a few seconds before meeting eyes with Michonne.

The two shared a look with each other. A look of understanding. They were both held at gunpoint just a few hours ago, and now they were incredibly concerned for the children they were eager to protect.

Zach felt you tremble. Your breathing quickened in his arms as he patted you comfortingly and rubbed your upper arms in an attempt to calm you down.

Phoenix woke up at the sudden movements, looking at his stirring sister in concern. He snapped his head at his brother before being sent a look. She’s okay.

Your eyes opened groggily, being met with the sight of your brothers. You smiled awkwardly at them before getting up.

The two boys noticed the difference in your smile. It wasn’t as bright and cheery, like how it was last night when talking to Carl. Nowadays, you didn’t smile very often. It was always a miracle when you cracked one, especially if it was caused by either one of them. It gave them hope.

But that smile made them even more concerned.

- - -

Click. Click. Click

Your boots kicked a pebble as you walked beside Carl on the traintracks.

Everyone kept looking back at the two of you ever so often. Rick and Michonne walked in the front, followed by your brothers, then the man that had saved you all, Daryl, in front of you and Carl.

You glanced over at Carl, and, surprisingly, he was looking right back at you. The two of you tried to give each other a comforting smile, pushing away the events from yesterday to remind yourselves that you had each other. Both of you had gone through the same thing last night, and it was nice to have someone who knew what it was like. The event was shared by the two of you, strengthening the bond that was slowly building between you and the boy next to you.

Your eyes glanced down at Carl’s wrist, seeing the blues and whites of your bracelet poke out from under his sleeve.

You smiled at the sight of it. He was your first friend in what seemed like years.

Everyone stopped by a large sign on the ground by the tracks. Rick kicked some dirt and grime off the large poster to see another one of the maps leading to Terminus.

“We’re getting close. We can get there before sundown.” You heard Daryl explain. To say that you were scared of the man was an understatement. He was large and rugged, someone you knew immediately that you did not want to mess with.

“We should head through the woods. We don’t know who they are.” Rick suggested, looking at the six of you for confirmation.

When nobody advised otherwise, Daryl led the way down the hill. “All right.”

- - -

Peeking through the wire fence, you could see the warehouse-like building that was Terminus. The place looked dreary and unlively, but considering it was the end of the world, there wasn’t anyone you could blame.

“We’ll all spread out. Watch for a while, see what we see and get ready.” Rick explained to all of you. “We’ll all stay close.”

You felt a firm hand grip your shoulder. Turning around, you saw Zach nod at you before you glanced back down and nodded, following along with him to look around. You looked back at everyone else, seeing Carl and Michonne break off, leaving Phoenix with Daryl and Rick.

The two of you didn’t talk for a time, the only noise coming from the crunching of leaves underneath you.

“...Did I ever tell you the day mom first brought you home?” You heard him ask.

Confused, you turned back to look at Zach. “No…why?”

The young man chuckled before recalling the story. “I was eleven when you were born. I think Phoenix was around three. We were ecstatic to hear that we were having a sister. You were the first girl on mom’s side, I believe.” He smiled, looking down at his feet. “When mom and dad brought you home, Phoenix and I ran down the stairs to come meet you. And then I saw you for the first time.”

Zach looked down at you and his heart grew soft. “When I looked into your little carrier, you opened your eyes and smiled. It was really cute…but you were ugly as shit.” You laughed loudly and punched his arm playfully. The boy felt pride in the fact that he made you laugh again. The first true smile that you cracked since yesterday. “I’m serious! I didn’t understand how an ugly, wrinkly baby like you could be related to such a hunk like me.” Zach puffed out his chest boastfully.

“You’re such a bitch, we all know I’m the best looking sibling.” You smirked at the older boy.

“In your dreams. At least you’re not as bad as Phoenix; when you first saw him, you cried for hours! Anyway, you looked at me with those big doe eyes and laughed. At that moment, I knew. You were the person I was destined to protect forever. That still applies now.” Your brother stood in front of you, gripping your shoulders firmly. “If you need help, I will always be there for you. Don’t be afraid to ask. I might not be here forever, and I want you to know that I will always have your best interest at heart.”

You looked up at your oldest brother. He was always the most mature out of the three of you. Not surprising, as he was the one you and Phoenix had to look up to, but you’ve seen him grow up from a grumpy, angsty teenager, to a mature, respectful young man in the span of a few years.

You smiled at your older brother, before wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.

Despite everything that’s happened, he will always take the essential role as your big brother.

- - -

Chapter Text

Hiding your bags and any other possible items in the woods, you and your group met back up to climb over the chain-linked fence, entering the sanctuary you had hoped existed for years.

With everyone pulling out their weapons, you all trudged sneakily into the large building and through a door not too far from where your group came from.

Daryl led everyone cautiously, his crossbow aimed in front of him as he stopped by a door frame.

Your heartbeat raced as you pointed your gun on the floor. You were so close to salvation, something you gave up on a long time ago.

“Follow the tracks to the point where all lines intersect. There are maps at the crossings to help guide you with your journey. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive, survive.”

Walking into the almost vacant room, you saw an old woman at a work desk speaking into a microphone. Rick walked up confidently. “Hello.”

You turned your back to spot a group of people working on what you could assume were maps that led to where you were currently. A man with thin brown hair sighed exasperatedly before dropping a paintbrush, “Well, I bet Albert’s on perimeter watch.” He walked towards you guys, asking “Are you here to rob us?”

“No. We wanted to see you before you saw us.”

The man chuckled before replying. “Makes sense. Usually we do this where the tracks meet.” He cleared his throat, “Welcome to Terminus. I’m Gareth. Looks like you’ve been on the road for a good bit.”

When you thought about it, he wasn’t lying. Your clothes, hair, and face were caked with dirt, and you probably smelled horrible—you hadn’t been able to smell many things nowadays, including yourself. To say you desired a bath was an understatemen; hopefully this place had a shower room to fill your needs.

You eyed him suspiciously, your hand placed firmly on your gun. You could tell this guy was hiding something. With his smug look, you knew he was nothing but trouble. He seemed to be condescending to you and your group; not a great look for a place trying to recruit people.

“We have.” Rick responded, introducing everyone to Gareth. You stood tensely, trying not to make it obvious of your suspicions of these people. You flashed a look at your brothers, as well as Michonne and Daryl, and you saw the same look plastered on theirs as well.

Gareth waved at all of you and paused before continuing. “You’re nervous! I get it. We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. Is that what you’re here for?”

Duh.

“Yes,” Rick stated.

“Good. You’ve found it. Hey, Alex!” Gareth called another man over. “This isn’t as pretty as the front. We’ve got nothing to hide, but the welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. Uh, but first, we need to see everyone’s weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you.”

Everyone glanced at each other. Looking to your left to see Carl and Rick, and turning to your right to meet eyes with your brothers, Michonne, and Daryl, you all hesitated on being left weaponless.

Rick nodded.

Reluctantly placing your handgun on the cold floor, you unsheathed your knife as you watched Zach carefully drop his rifle and Phoenix set down his gun, emptying his pockets containing a switchblade, a butterfly knife, and a matchbox.

Placing your hands over your head, you held your breath as you waited to get patted down.
“I’d hate to see the other guy.” The man, you think his name might’ve been Alex, smiled as he patted Zach down.

“You would.” Rick stated as he was searched by Gareth.

“They deserve it?” Alex asked further as he patted your shoulders.

When you didn’t respond, Carl firmly answered “Yes.”

You looked at the boy, smirking as if to give him a silent “Thank you”.

He returned it quickly before gazing back at the men.

Once everyone was searched, Gareth commented, “Just so you know, we aren’t those kinds of people, but we aren’t stupid either. And you shouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything stupid. As long as everyone’s clear on that, we shouldn’t have any problems. Just solutions.”

Alex helped everyone pick up their weapons (Well, really just you, Carl, Rick, and Phoenix, as Michonne, Zach, and Daryl were not having it) before leading you to the exit.

Opening the door to the outside, Daryl decided to ask “So how long’s this place been here?”

“Since almost the start. When all the camps got overrun, people started finding his place. I think it was instinct, y’know? They follow a path. Some folks were heading to the coast, others out west or up north, but they all wound up here.” The man explained.

“There doesn’t seem to be that many people out,” Phoenix asked, his brows furrowing as he looked around.

You looked around after this comment, seeing that the place looked quite vacant compared to how it was described. They made it seem as if there was a thriving community, however you didn’t see many people out and about like how you thought.

Alex laughed nervously. “Well, they’re at work at the moment! Hopefully you can see others like you soon.”

You and Phoenix looked at each other in confusion, but decided not to question it. This place was getting more and more fishy.

Stopping by a large outdoor grill, the seven of you were met with a woman fixing up some meat. The aroma was delightful as you held your stomach, waiting to be served a freshly cooked meal.

“Hi.” The woman grinned. “Heard you came through the back door. Smart. You’ll fit in right in here.”

“Hey, Mary, could you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?” Alex asked the woman.

You zoned everything out as you practically drooled looking at the nice, juicy meat cooking on the stove. You hadn’t eaten since yesterday, and that rabbit was a poor excuse for a meal. Not to mention you had to share it with six people, you couldn’t wait to shove all the food you desired down your throat.

Alex handed you and Carl a plate. You grinned wildly looking at the fresh plate of food in front of you.

You took a small bite, chewing and savoring the texture and taste. You hadn’t eaten this good since you managed to cook a can of Spaghetti-Os under a campfire a few months ago.

Just as Alex handed Rick a plate, he slammed it down on the ground before pulling out his gun and holding it against Alex’s head.

Out of confusion and surprise, you dropped your plate—much to your dismay—and grabbed your gun from your holster.

You had absolutely no idea what was going on, or what set Rick off to make him suddenly attack the guy. Nonetheless, you, Zach, and Phoenix pointed your guns in opposite directions in order to ensure that nobody could attack you.

You looked back at Rick, seeing him hold a shiny silver pocket watch.

“Where the hell did you get this watch?” He muttered as the Terminus citizens stood up, some of them pulling out their own weapons to use against your group.

You weren’t sure of the significance of the pocket watch Rick held, but you could only assume that it belonged to someone he knew. And you could only assume your suspicions of this sanctuary were correct.

“Where did you get this watch?” Rick repeated the question in a more forceful tone.

“You want answers? You want anything else? You’ll get ‘em when you put down the gun!” Alex pleaded as Rick spotted a man with a sniper on the rooftop in front of him.

“I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle. How good’s his aim? Where’d you get the watch?”

Nobody gave him answers before Rick asked the same question a fourth time: “Where did you get this watch!?”

“Don’t do anything!” Alex shouted at the man with the sniper. “I have this! You just put it down! Put it down!”

The man with the sniper put down his weapon.

“You want to listen to me. There's a lot of us.” Alex stalled.

“Where. Did. You get. The watch?”

“I-I got it off a dead one!” Alex stuttered out. “I didn’t think he needed it.”

Bullshit.

Rick turned his attention to the crowd. “What about the riot gear? The poncho?”

Again, you were unaware of the significance of these items, but you could guess that they belonged to someone—or some people—Rick knew.

“Got the riot gear off a dead cop.” Whipping his head around, Rick saw Gareth standing near Phoenix and Michonne, palms up. “We found the poncho on a clothesline.”

“Gareth, we can wait.” Alex begged.

“Shut up, Alex.”

“You talk to me.” Rick ordered, now facing Gareth.

“What’s there to say? You don’t trust us anymore.”

Alex fought against everything, with Gareth shushing him harshly. “Rick, what do you want?”

“Where are our people?” The man commanded.

“You didn’t answer the question.” Gareth commented as Rick slammed Alex onto the ground, the loud firing of gunshots filling your ears.

Zach sprinted to you and Phoenix, aiming his rifle at the people on the rooftop before pushing you two to one side of the alley with the others.

You saw bullets rain down on the ground in front of you, looking up to see another person with a rifle shooting down at your group.

“Come on!” Rick called out as everyone ran as fast as they could away from the gunfire.

Your heart pounded as you ran inside a warehouse-looking part of the building and out a door on the other side. Gripping your gun, you prayed for a way out as Zach kept a hand on your back while you sprinted.

“Ugh!” You heard a grunt behind you, and you turned around to see Phoenix fallen on the ground.

“Phoenix!” You shouted, stopping in your tracks.

“Go! We’ll be right behind you!” You heard Zach push you to keep running as he scurried back to his younger brother to pick him back up.

You almost froze when Rick grabbed your sleeve. “Let’s go!” He shouted, panting.

“Help! Help! Let us out!!” You heard voices. Turning your head, you recognized the voices coming from what you thought were the train carts.

“What the hell?” Daryl called, taking the words right out of your mouth.

“Keep going!” Rick cried out, pushing you slightly in front of him as you entered a new block.

Entering a new room, you waited by the door frame for a few seconds to find your brothers as everyone scanned the candles and lights surrounding the otherwise dark room.

“Zach! Phoenix!” You heaved as they entered, hugging them both. “Are you guys okay?”

“Y-Yeah…I think I twisted my ankle, though.” Your brother chuckled nervously, hanging off of Zach like a rag doll. You nodded hesitantly at his answer before looking around the illuminating room.

“What the hell is this place?” Daryl questioned, looking around the room in confusion.

You scanned the area, just as confused as everyone else. The plethora of candles flickering gave off an eerie feeling to the already creepy room.

“These people…I don’t think they’re trying to kill us.” You heard Michonne suggest.

“No. They were aiming at our feet.” Rick noticed before pointing at another door. “There.”

You all walked to the exit, before it was closed and locked in front of your faces. You looked again. “Over there!” You pointed, scurrying to the old door.

More gunshots followed your exit as per usual. Turning a corner, the seven of you were met with a group of men pointing guns at you from the other side of the fence. Your eyes widened in terror as you were left utterly defenseless with bullets aimed at your every direction.

“Drop your weapons! Now!” You heard Gareth shout from the rooftop.

Your fingers trembled as you dropped your handgun and knife on the pavement, now defenseless against the group of men watching your every move. You looked over to see Zach helping Phoenix take out the multiple objects he held in his pockets, and you wanted to scream.

“Ringleader! Go to your left. The train car. Go.” Gareth ordered, looking straight at Rick. Rick looked at Carl worriedly before being told “You do what we say, the boy goes with you. Same with the girl. Anything else, they die and you end up in there anyway.”

Rick gave one last look back at his son before trudging over to the train cart.

“Now the archer.” Gareth called, staring straight at Daryl. The man gave him a glare before following Rick over to the train cart. “And now the samurai.” His eyes were now on Michonne. The woman gave a soft look at the four kids as she walked over to Rick and Daryl.

You watched Gareth with dark eyes, your body trembling slightly as he looked over at your brothers. “Military and geek next.”

Your heart ached as the two looked at you in fear. You tried to give them a comforting smile. To let them know it was okay.

But you were really just trying to convince yourself that it would all work out.

“Stand at the door. Ringleader, samurai, archer, military, geek, in that order.”

Everyone looked at you and Carl, helpless if anything were to happen to the two of you. The both of you stood, open and exposed at gunpoint, making Rick and Zach’s hearts clench.

“My son!” Rick shouted as he watched the two kids standing away from them.

“Let my sister go!” You heard Zach’s voice call out while you stared at the floor, trying to get your mind off anything else but the mass array of guns surrounding you.

There was a pause before you heard “Go, you two.”

You and Carl walked slowly towards the cart. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you heard “Ringleader, open the door and go in.”

“I’ll go in with them.” Rick refused.

“Don’t make us kill them now!”

You watched as Rick opened the door of the train cart, each of the members of your group entering one by one.

You looked at Carl in fear. One scenario after another, the two of you had gone through traumatic experiences together, and another one was added to the plate.

Carl entered first, being engulfed in a hug by his father as he walked in. You walked in last, your brothers wrapping their arms around you protectively.

The doors shut as the seven of you were engulfed in the darkness. Yoou heard a noise.

Turning around, you spotted a couple of silhouettes brightened by the slivers of light illuminating through the cart.

“Rick?” You heard someone call.

You scanned each face—or, as much face as you could see—carefully. You could tell that the voice belonged to a young asian man, just a few years older than Zach. You couldn’t see everyone’s faces fully, but you could count at least six more behind the man.

Your breath quickened as you realized who these people were. Why they knew Rick’s name.

“You’re here.”

Chapter Text

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

Your foot collided with the floor aggressively, chipping away the metal parts of your belt to create sharpened edges. Roughly picking it up off the floor, you laced the three metal spears between your fingers to grip your new weapon. You worked quickly in the darkness, the only light seeping through the cracks of the musty train cart. Glancing at your brothers, you saw Phoenix tying together his shoelaces while Zach sharpened a piece of wood he had scavenged on the ground.

The plan was to kill them. To make your new group be unforgettable in the history of Terminus. If this place were to even exist once you were done with it.

“Alright. Got four of them pricks coming our way.” You heard Daryl mention, seeing his grudgy face through the splinters of light that managed to seep through the cracks he was looking out of.

Rick stopped trying to carve out a piece of wood with a chain as he ordered everyone to get into position. “Y’all know what to do. Go for their eyes first.”

You and Carl stood in the back (as per the request of everyone in the group), the boy next to you holding his bare fists while you stood your ground with your—now broken—belt.

“Put your backs to the walls on either side of the car. Now!” The echoing of a man’s voice filled your ears. Nonetheless, everyone stood their ground, ready to pounce on whoever would come strolling through the door.

Instead, a loud rattling was heard as you finally saw a space of light for the first time in what felt like days. You thought you would be over the moon with this, but your heart pounded as you pondered what they could possibly be doing at the top of the cart.

You heard something clang to the floor. Peering over, you looked to see a can before you heard someone—you thought it was Abraham, a man you met a few hours prior—shout “Move!” as you dove for the corners of the dark train cart.

Hearing a small explosion, smoke covered your vision as your lungs felt thick. You couldn’t stop coughing as it felt your entire body was burning from the outside and seeping through your body. Your skin, your eyes, your throat; they all felt like someone poured acid on them. All you could hear was the door of the train car opening alongside the people in your group coughing before collapsing.

- - -

You heard your name being called as you were shaken awake. Gasping, you sat up quickly to be met with Phoenix’s dull eyes in the cold darkness of the train cart.

“W-What happened?” You breathed, looking around rapidly in confusion. You noticed the lack of people in the cart, only being ten or so of you in the small space. Scanning everyone left in the cart, your heart dropped. You turned to Phoenix. “Where’s Zach?”

The boy became silent as he looked down on his lap.

“No.” You stood up to look at everyone. “Where the hell is my brother?”

You were left with the same quiet response from everyone else.

You locked eyes with Carl and saw the same painful expression as Phoenix had. Looking around the group again, you searched for who else was missing. Rick and Daryl were missing. Along with two other people from Rick’s group, Glenn and Bob.

You slumped to a corner of the cart, your throat burning. Never, in the last few years, have you ever been separated from the oldest Renner sibling. And you didn’t even know if he was safe.

Jumping at a sudden bang, you looked over to see Abraham with his fists on the wall. “What the hell is going on?” He grunted.

“Someone hit them.” Michonne mentioned.

“Maybe our people got free.” You heard a woman from your group, Sasha, say, hopeful for the fate of the missing five men.

“Excuse me,” a man with a mullet, Eugene, pushed through, crouching down on a small crack on the floor.

“What the hell are you doing?” A woman, Rosita, scoffed at the nerdy man.

“I might be able to use this shell to compromise this door. From the sound of things, there may not be anybody left to open it.”

Jesus christ, You had no idea there could be someone more geeky as your brother, but there he was, crouching down in front of you.

“Eugene, I’m sorry, but shut up.” A girl named Tara rolled her eyes.

“Okay.”

“Hey,” You saw Carl walk over to the group with another girl with dark hair, you believed her name was Maggie. “My dad’s gonna be back. They all are.”

“They are,” Maggie reassured, “and we need to get ready to fight our way out with them when they do.” The woman stated before going back to scraping the wooden plank with a chain, similar to what Rick was doing earlier.

Soon enough, everyone was off to work again.

You held a sharp piece of wood for Michonne as she tied the piece to her katana sleeve, hearing Sasha ask Eugene what the cure was for all of this. Apparently, the man was a scientist and knew the cure for the disease that caused the dead to come back to life.

“It’s classified.” Eugene said, not batting an eye at anyone as he kept working.

“We don’t know what’s gonna happen.” Michonne told him, tightening the fabric she looped around the two pieces.

“You leave him be.” Abraham sneered, glaring at the woman.

“We need to keep working.” Maggie walked past you as Sasha argued against it, wanting to know the reason why you all were stuck in this mess.

“It’s time to hear it. ‘Cause we don’t know what’s coming next.” She egged on. You had to agree with her; you needed to know what the true solution for all of this was. You needed to hear that everything would be okay, and that someday you can put all of this behind you and live a normal life. That was all you’ve ever wanted, and maybe it will finally come true.

“What’s next is we get out of this.” Tara tried to break it up before the argument could get worse.

“Even if I told you all, even if I provided step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations and a well-composed FAQ and I went red-ring, the cure would still die with me.” Eugene explained as you looked at the man in confusion. What the hell did he just say?

“And I’m not gonna let that happen.” Abraham stared at Eugene. You could tell that the redhead respected Eugene immensely, and he needed just as much a reason as you to have hope for a new world.

“The best case scenario, we step out into a hellstorm of bullets, fire, and walkers. I’m not fleet of foot. I sure as hell can’t take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence.” Eugene rambled again. Good lord, everytime he opened his mouth you felt like you were having an aneurysm.

“Yeah, but we can and will.” Michonne tightened the finishing parts of her contraption and nodded at you. You nodded back quickly, signalling the completion of the new weapon.

Sasha stood up from her crouched position, “You don’t owe us anything. Not yet. But we just want to hear it.”

“You don’t have to.” Rosita reassured Eugene.

“But we certainly wanna hear it.” You heard Phoenix grumble from behind you, making you smile a bit before Rosita shot a look at your older brother, causing your smirk to drop immediately. Man, was she scary.

Eugene hesitated before getting up slowly, facing the group with a nervous look plastered on his face. “I was part of a ten-person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Pathogenic microorganisms with pathogenic microorganisms. Fire with fire. Interdepartmental drinks were had, relationships were made, information shared. I am keenly aware of all the details behind fail-safe delivery systems to kill every living person on this planet. I believe with a little tweaking on the terminals in DC, we can flip the script. Take out every last dead one of them. Fire with fire.”

You wanted to scratch your head in confusion. Considering you stopped going to school when you were twelve, you had no idea what the hell the man in front of you just said. You tried to ignore it as he added, “All things being equal, it does sound pretty badass.”

“So let’s get back to work.” Maggie fiddled with a piece of sharp wood in her hands as you heard a banging sound coming from the outside.

You pulled yourself up quickly as the door opened, only to be met with a bloodied up Rick with a rifle, roamers surrounding the perimeter. Grabbing Phoenix quickly, you dragged him through the exit before you were met with Zach covered in blood and holding a butcher’s knife.

“Zach!” You called, the young man squeezing your shoulder quickly and taking the limping Phoenix off your hands, screaming at you to run.

You obeyed, sprinting and killing roamers with a piece of wood every direction you turned. You heaved as you stabbed one roamer after another, running towards the gate in a hurry. Feeling the damp splatters of blood on your pants and shirt, the only thoughts running through your head were the determination to survive Terminus and live to tell the tale.

You felt a hand at your torso as the barbed wire scraped your clothes at the top of the fence. Eventually falling harshly on the grass, you grunted, opening your eyes to see Carl opening his arm to you. Gripping it, the boy helped you up quickly just before you saw the middle Renner child fall to the ground.

Watching Abraham jump over the fence, you took one last look at the burning building that held you captive before rushing off with your new group in the woods.

Chapter Text

You walked at a slow pace to keep close with your limping brother, Zach having an arm wrapped around the old teen.

“Right here.” You heard Daryl say as he crouched down to throw Rick a shovel.

The bloodied man dug quickly before being questioned by Abraham. “What the hell are we still around here for?”

“Guns. Some supplies.” Rick instructed. “Go along the fences. Use the rifles. Take out the rest of them.”

“What?” Glenn asked, flabbergasted.

“They don’t get to live.” Rick grunted, shoving the small shovel down into the ground once more.

“Hell no. We are not going back!” Zach furrowed his eyebrows at the older man. There was absolutely no possible way that he expected all of them to go back to a place that was already being burned down to a crisp to ensure that none of the citizens came out alive.

“Rick, we got out. It’s over.” Glenn retorted as Rick opened the bag full of weapons.

“It’s not over until they’re all dead.”

“The hell it isn’t, that place is on fire! Full of walkers.” Rosita snapped back sassily.

“I’m not digging around this crap. We just made it out.” Abraham growled.

“The fences are down. They’ll run or die.” Maggie pleaded, staring at a now standing Rick.

Everyone’s eyes were on the man, trying to get him to back out of his incredulous plan.

You saw a figure in the distance. Titling your head to get a better look, you saw it was a middle aged woman with short hair, her face caked in dirt as she had many weapons draped on her small body.

Daryl turned around after seeing your concentrated look peering behind him. The man stood stunned before running to hug the woman tightly.

The two laughed before a multitude of people—presumably the ones that were a part of Rick’s group before—walked over to greet her. You and your brothers, along with Tara, Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita, all stood in the back, watching the emotional scene play out in front of you.

“D-Did you do that?” Rick limped over to the mystery woman. She nodded, her lip trembling as she was engulfed in yet another hug by Rick.

She spoke up. “You have to come with me.”

- - -

Picking up your bags, you all strode through the thin gravel leading to an old, musty house. There, you saw a tall man standing with multiple bags in one arm, and a baby in another.

A baby.

You saw Rick, Carl, and Sasha run over to the two, the boys delving for the baby in the man’s arms, while the latter ran to the man with tears in her eyes. The four sobbed in their own circles, while you stood with your brothers, a smile on your face as you saw everyone get their happy ending.

Everyone caught up with each other, telling stories on what they’ve been up to since the last time they saw each other. 

You stood with Michonne and Carl as he held his baby sister in his arms while Phoenix sat on the steps of the old home and Zach talked to Rick.

You looked at Carl, beaming. He grinned back before looking down at the baby in his arms. “What’s her name?” You asked gently, staring at the cute blonde baby in front of you.

“Judith.” The boy responded, seeing you crouch down and look at her with a childlike wonder. It’s been years since the last time you saw a baby. And she was the cutest damn thing you’ve ever seen.

She smiled at you.

You thought back to the story Zach told you before you entered Terminus. About how he looked at you as a baby and knew he needed to protect you at all costs. You understood what he meant then, but now you understood. You felt like you were living the moment your brother described. For a baby you weren’t even related to.

Holding out your finger, you felt Judith grab it with her small ones. She cheered and babbled as she waved her arms around with your index finger in your grasp. Michonne and Carl smiled at the scene alongside you before Rick called out that you all had to move.

You heard Zach ask Rick, “...Do you still want us here? I mean, we don’t have to stay with you guys if you think it will hold you guys back.” Your heart ached as you overheard their quiet conversation. These people had saved you, and you truly felt like you were starting to get to know some of the members of the group.

“Are you kidding me? You saved our asses back there. You guys are one of us now.” You turned to see Rick clapping your brother on the back and smiling lightly at him.

The young man walked over to you, engulfing you in a tight hug before helping Phoenix get up from his sitting position. The two watched as you did a quick jog over to Carl and Judith, leaving them a few feet behind you as your new group walked to god knows where. 

They didn’t mind though, as you found a bigger family to keep you company during the end of the world.

Chapter Text

Walking alongside your new group felt right.

Turning back to glance at your brothers, you smiled at the sight of Zach holding Judith with a loving look in his eyes while Phoenix walked beside him.

You faced forward, making eye contact with Carl as you followed Rick through the woods.

It had been a few days since Terminus. Over time, you had gotten to know the people in Rick’s group a bit better, even befriending a few of them, such as Sasha, Glenn, Maggie and Tara. Still, you kept close to your brothers, alongside the four you were once on the road with.

Hearing a rustling through the leaves, everyone (besides Zach) stopped and aimed their weapons at the noise. 

Gripping your pistol tightly, you sighed in relief as you saw Daryl emerge from behind a tree, raising his arms—one holding his crossbow and the other a large array of squirrels hanging off a piece of rope. “We surrender.” The man grumbled as everyone kept walking.

Rick and Daryl whispered to each other, talking quietly as you zoned out. Rick whistled to everyone, noticing that you all were trailing behind a bit. “Keep close.”

- - -

“Where’s your family from?” Your eyes met Carl’s.

In the past few days, the two of you resorted to asking questions at random points of the day. Whether it be during the night when neither of you could sleep, or in broad daylight when you were traveling, the pair of you would ask questions ranging from hobbies to philosophical beliefs.

“My family’s from Chicago,” you started, thinking back to your nice suburban home close to the city. “We tried to drive to New York to meet up with some of my mom’s relatives. But…once everything got worse my brothers and I just decided to travel wherever seemed safest. And I guess we ended up here.” You fiddled with the strap of your backpack, looking back at your friend. “What about you? Where’s your family from?”

Carl sighed, thinking about how he could explain his story in simple terms. “My family’s from Georgia. When everything started, my dad was shot and we had to leave him behind at the hospital in Atlanta…I thought he was dead for so long. But it turned out he was alive.” You chuckled along with the boy before he continued. “It sounds insane, but it’s true! Judith came during all this. We sought shelter at a prison for a while. But once it got overrun, we had to move.”

You raised your eyebrows in shock. “A prison? That’s really clever, actually. I once hid in a grocery store overnight. One of those large warehouse ones, it was heavenly!”

The two of you laughed as you kept walking. A comfortable silence washed over you and Carl as you pondered what to ask him next.

Pausing, you looked at him. “How old do you think we are?”

Carl fell quiet. He had never thought about it before. Back in the van, the both of you had confirmed that you were the same age, saying that you were twelve when everything happened. “I know it’s been at least a year, probably even two since it started…I don’t know. Thirteen? Fourteen? Fifteen?”

You stared at his features. He looked older than thirteen, yet saying that he was fifteen didn’t feel right. Not yet. You gave him a small smile, “Fourteen fits for you. Almost fifteen.”

The boy stared at you for a few seconds longer, shaking his head and blinking rapidly after noticing. “...Yeah, you too.”

“Alright, fourteen-going-on-fifteen it is.” You turned away from the boy, staring at the bright green leaves that flowed around on their branches.

“...Yeah.” Carl murmured, looking down at his feet as the two of you traveled.

Zach looked at the two young teens in front of him, smirking. Phoenix glanced at his brother, also noticing the cute moment between the duo.

In the beginning, Zach always hoped for a better future for you. At just twelve years old, you had your entire future ripped away from you. He always wondered what you would’ve done given the chance that this entire thing never existed. Thinking back, he always saw you as a creative kid, always messing around with colors and writing and art. Maybe you would’ve become a writer or an artist.

The young man hoped that his baby sister could live to see the day that everything went back to normal. That she could live the life that she deserved. And he saw that opportunity whenever you talked to Carl. He noticed the boy had developed a small crush on you over the past few days, avoiding prolonged eye contact and spending every waking minute with you, but he’d decided not to mention it. He would play the role of older brother when the time was right.

You snapped your head up when you heard a man crying for help. “Help!” The voice called, “Help! Anybody, help!”

You took out your gun quickly, searching for the direction in which the calls were coming from. Rick held up his arm, alarming you to keep still. You saw Carl right next to you begging his dad to let you guys follow the noise. “Dad, come on!” You heard the voice again, his cries for help making Carl insistent. “Come on!”

Rick gave in, following you and Carl through the woods to help the mysterious stranger.

You felt deja vu as you were running, thinking back to the man you weren’t able to save with Zach, Carl, and Rick on the way to Terminus. You weren’t sure why this kept happening; just a week ago, you would’ve never gone out to save someone like this. A week ago, you would’ve just tried to block out the screams and pretended that they didn’t exist.

Why were you giving these people a chance all of a sudden?

Shaking the thoughts out of your head, you saw a man on top of a large rock, surrounded by walkers. Raising your pistol, you shot one of the walkers right in the head, its limp corpse falling to the ground with a quiet thud. You stood back as Rick, Carl, Michonne, Daryl, and Carol took care of the rest.

The man trembled at the top of the rock where he sat, sliding down to face your group.

“You okay?” Rick asked the man.

The man raised a finger, heaving before throwing up. You looked away quickly, as to give him privacy to prepare himself. “Sorry.” He sighed, looking at everyone. “Yes. Thank you.” He dusted off his blazer before continuing. “I’m Gabriel.”

“Do you have any weapons on you?” Rick asked.

Gabriel chuckled. “Do I look like I would have any weapons?”

“We don’t give two short and curlies what it looks like.” Abraham grunted.

“I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need.” He replied nervously.

God. You hadn’t thought about religion in a long time. With years of being on the run, it was hard to think about what you thought existed beyond where you stood. Still, you didn’t believe this man could possibly survive in this world with just “the word of God”.

“Sure didn’t look like it.” Daryl eyed the man.

Gabriel chuckled. “I called for help. Help came.”

You eyed Gabriel. He seemed innocent enough. But in some way…he seemed too innocent. You didn’t know how long it had been since it all went down, but his mannerisms mimicked the way you acted in the first few weeks of the apocalypse. Sheltered, fearful, clueless as to how to use any weapon. And while it was totally fine to be that way, you wondered how he had managed to survive on his own for this long.

“Do you have—have any food?” He asked, smiling nervously. “Whatever, I-I had just left, it just hit the ground.”

Carl clasped a handful of nuts. “We’ve got some pecans.”

Gabriel took them gratefully. “Thank you.” Carl nodded, smiling slightly as he dropped the pecans into the man’s hands.

Next to you, Judith cooed in Zach’s arms. Gabriel looked in your direction, seeing the small blonde baby in the hands of your brother. “That’s a beautiful child.” He smiled.

You had thought what Gabriel said was a compliment. Who wouldn’t have thought Judith was a cute baby? But when you saw Zach take a step back with Judith, along with people’s concerned faces, you thought that maybe you were wrong.

“Do you have a camp?” Gabriel asked.

“No. Do you?” Rick asked back.

“I have a church.”

“Hold your hands above your head.” Rick ordered.

Slowly raising his arms, Gabriel stood stiffly as Rick searched him. “How many walkers have you killed?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Not any, actually.”

“Turn around.” Rick grabbed Gabriel harshly, patting down his arms. “How many people have you killed?”

“None.” He looked concerned at the sudden question.

“Why?”

Gabriel sighed. “Because the lord abhors violence.”

Rick stared at the man suspiciously. “What have you done?” Gabriel looked at everyone confused. “We’ve all done something.”

“I am a sinner. I sin almost every day.” The man states. “But those sins, I confess them to God. Not strangers.”

“You said you had a church?” All eyes went to Michonne, who was leaning on the large rock. Gabriel nodded quickly.

Pulling the straps of your bag, you all followed Gabriel to his source of shelter.

The trip let you think to yourself. You got to ponder why you so desperately wanted to save a complete stranger. And why had you done it twice? 

Then you remembered that this had only started happening when you met Carl.

You soon realized it was only once when you met your best friend was when you started showing mercy in this horrible world.

Chapter Text

You walked alongside your brothers, Zach now having a hold of his rifle as Carl cradled his baby sister through the woods. You all followed Gabriel, the man leading you to his so-called “church”.

“Hey. Earlier…were you watching us?” Rick asked the well-dressed man.

“I keep to myself.” Gabriel explained, “Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don’t you think?”

“No. People are worse.” Daryl spoke up roughly.

“Well, I wasn’t watching you. I haven’t been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I’ve gone before today.” Gabriel looked back to silence. He faced forward before deciding to lighten the mood. “Or maybe I’m lying. Maybe I’m lying about everything and there’s no church ahead at all. Maybe I’m leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels.” Once again met with silence, you sort of felt bad for the man. It wasn’t a great joke, but he was trying to let the tension between him and your group die down. Gabriel continued, “Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired.”

“Yeah, it does.” Daryl commented, however you weren’t sure if he was saying it sarcastically or not. Gabriel just nodded and continued walking, getting tangled in a pile of leaves before walking off.

Reaching a building, you soon realized that Gabriel wasn’t lying about his church. It was white and run-down, with the once bright paint chipping off the sides of the roof. Desite its abandoned-looking features, it was in better shape than any other place you had seen lately.

Stopping at the steps, Rick walked up. “Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold onto our squirrels.” Gabriel handed him the keys as a small group went inside to look around.

Standing around with Phoenix and Carl, you waited patiently for Zach’s return. Glancing at Judith, you noticed the baby playing with the string of her brother’s bracelet. You grinned, seeing Carl laughing a bit as well looking at Judith tug at the pieces of braided thread.

Noticing Rick and the others emerge from the dark church, you saw Rick hand back Gabriel the keys, the man explaining “I spent months here without stepping out the front door. If you found someone inside…well, it would’ve been surprising.”

Carl stepped forward, smiling lightly. “Thanks for this.” You looked at the man as well, nodding. After your horrible experience in Terminus, a church to stay in felt like a dream.

Abraham spoke up. “We found a short bus out back. It don’t run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father over here says he don’t want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport.” Rick pet Judith’s head as Abraham continued. “You understand what’s at stake here, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Rick answered.

“Now that we can take a breath-” Michonne was cut off by the redhead.

“We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down.”

“We need supplies. No matter what we do next.” The woman answered back sharply.

“That’s right. Water, food, ammunition.” Rick agreed, stepping into the church.

You heard Daryl comment on Abraham’s concerns before walking into the dark church as well. “The short bus ain’t going nowhere. Bring you back some baked beans.”

You scanned the church with wonder. You had always thought that the practice of religions died with everyday life. After all, you couldn’t really understand how someone could still be devoted to their faith after what’s happened in the world. But you guessed you were wrong.

You sat down on one of the pews in the front. Taking off your sweater, you set it next to your backpack, listening to Gabriel and Rick’s conversation.

“Where did your supplies come from?” Rick asked, holding Judith with one arm.

“Luck.” Gabriel answered. “Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me.”

Carl stood up from next to you, walking over to his dad and Gabriel. “Come here, Judith.” Bouncing her a bit, Carl walked back over to you with Judith in his arms. 

“The food lasted a long time.” Gabriel continued his conversation. “And then I started scavenging. I’ve cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one.”

“What kept you from it?” Rick asked.

“It’s overrun.”

“How many?”

“A dozen or so, maybe more.”

Rick nodded, looking at the people next to him. “We can handle a dozen.”

Sasha walked forward. “Bob and I will go with you. Tyreese should stay here. Help keep Judith safe.”

“That’ll be okay?” Rick asked, looking at the large man in confirmation.

Tyreese nodded. “Sure. You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I’m right here.”

“I’m grateful for it.” Rick thanked. “And everything else.”

Zach stood up from the seat in front of you. “I’m going, too. Phoenix will help Tyreese take care of the kids.”

Looking at where Phoenix sat, the middle child nodded as well, smiling awkwardly as everyone stared at him. “We’ll be fine.” Tyreese smiled at him. The two got along really well, as they were both peaceful individuals.

“I’ll draw you a map.” Gabriel offered.

“You don’t need to. You’re coming with us.” Rick pointed out.

The religious man paused. “I’m not going to be of any help. You saw me. I’m no good around those things.”

Rick insisted. “You’re coming with us.”

Gabriel gulped nervously before reluctantly agreeing.

- - -

“Do you trust him?”

You looked up from flipping through an old songbook from behind the pews to look at Carl. It had been about an hour since the people in your group left with Gabriel, and you would expect them to be coming back soon.

You paused, sliding the songbook to your side as you pondered the question. “I don’t think he means any harm. I mean, the guy would’ve been dead meat if it weren’t for us.” Your brows furrowed as you thought of your answer. “But I’m still wondering how he’s still alive. You can only go so far in this world without knowing how to use a weapon, let alone having killed no walkers in god knows how long. He seems completely clueless.”

Carl nodded. You knew he trusted Gabriel, unintentionally overhearing his conversation with his dad. The boy sighed quietly before standing. “I’m going outside. Do you want to come?”

You glanced at the front, Tyreese and Phoenix talking quietly as Judith slept in the former’s arms.

You smiled. You were glad that you and your brothers fit in well with the group and the three of you had finally found people you could trust. From afar, you enjoyed watching Phoenix befriend people from the group, like Tyreese, Bob, and Tara. As for Zach, he seemed to be getting close with Maggie and Glenn, who were the members around his age.

Turning your head towards Carl, you nodded.

Walking out, you felt the warm air on your skin as you stepped into the sunlight. You unsheathed your knife, cautious of anything that you might’ve stumbled upon during your trip outside.

“I like this place.” You commented as the two of you scanned the perimeter. “I haven’t seen a place this nice since everything started.”

“Yeah,” Carl chuckled. “Especially after what happened last time.”

Your mind thought of Terminus as you walked. Seeing Abraham and his gang work on the small white bus, you waved at Tara and Rosita, the only two that sort of made you feel welcome in their presence. Eugene was too awkward and jittery to make you have an actual good conversation with him, while Abraham was…well, he was Abraham, really rough and scary, however he was quite cool to talk to once in a while.

Carl grabbed your wrist halfway through your walk around the church. “Look.” He pointed at a carving on the side of the building.

‘YOU’LL BURN IN HELL FOR THIS’

The writing was bold and seemed to be scratched with something like a knife. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to form words. “What the hell…” You turned back the way you came, checking for any more messages on the walls. 

You stopped by one of the windows. “Over there,” you pointed, “the scratch marks…” Your eyes met Carl's, shocked by the sharp carvings on the walls. 

“Hey.” You jumped slightly at Rick’s voice. “Tyreese and Phoenix said you guys were out back. Come on in. We found food.”

“Good,” Carl muttered, his eyes still glued on the thick claw marks.

“What is it?” Rick looked at the two of you.

“Look at the scratches.” You nodded at the windowsill with your lips.

Carl moved forwards, pointing at the deep carvings. “They’re deep. Like knives or something. Someone was trying to get in. I found something else.” Carl trudged over to the back of the church, showing Rick the carved out message on the walls. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever it is, we can handle it. It doesn’t mean Gabriel is a bad guy for sure, but it means something.”

Rick scanned the writing with caution as you stood to the side with concerned eyes.

At first, you never really thought Gabriel was capable of being that bad of a person. Sure, he was quite the coward, but you thought he just heavily sheltered himself when everything first started. But now, you weren’t sure.

A part of you begged that Gabriel was innocent, but another part of you had wondered if whatever he did was justifiable in the slightest.