Chapter Text
“So, you’re to be my knight?”
Yunjin questions with a raised eyebrow as she casts her eyes up and down meticulously at the well armored figure before her. Though it’s hard to truly gauge her physique from beneath her plating, but with her back straight as if held up by a steel rod and a hand resting on her back for extra support, she can tell they’re disciplined – befitting that of a knight to royalty. Still, while she knows deference is a skill as harshly taught as swordsmanship, she’d prefer it if she actually had the courage to meet her eyes.
It’s not as if she’s opposed to the idea of having some extra security and protection around the castle in the wake of recent events. In truth, with how active the Felidae Empire has been around their borders, as well as their brutal attempts to crush the Samag Alliance, Yunjin knows she’d be little more than a reckless fool to expect peace to reign so freely. No matter how much her kingdom might strive for harmony through the means of positive trading relations, tyrants seldom agree to such even-footed proposals.
As the old Okeanian saying goes, no matter how peaceful the tides, only the foolish weigh anchor without a storm in their mind. When the reins of peace are handed from philosophers to politicians, the fickle nature of its existence becomes so plainly apparent.
Yet while some extra security might be nice, especially with how dark the castle gets in the late hours of the night, with twisting flames from the torches often looking like potential threats, Yunjin can’t help but find issue with the proximity of such an arrangement. It’s hardly a secret to anyone in the palace that she likes to have her privacy wherever possible, often locking herself away in her chambers for as long as she can go before her presence is requested for an official appointment. As such, while having guards and palace staff stationed around various areas of the castle is easy for her to manage, having someone assigned to follow her around during every hour of the day presents a few challenges, to say the least.
If there’s one saving grace she can at least take solace in however, whether it's out of fear or simple respect, her knight seems like the time to keep to herself, perhaps even more than her – far from the usual hotheaded nature she’s used to seeing in soldiers.
“That’s correct, your highness. My name is Nakamura Kazuha.” Her new knight – Kazuha – says with a rigid salute, an action firmly drilled into her head from no doubt years of training, and a less characteristic smile that Yunjin can’t deny is just the slightest bit disarming. After a moment longer, as if reaching the end of her instructions, she starts to sink to her knees, keeping her eyes drilled on the floor as to note invoke her potential ire. “I beg your forgiveness, I should be kneeling in the presence of your highness. Please-”
Rolling her eyes at such a blatant, yet deeply meaningless gesture of fealty, Yunjin waves her hand in Kazuha’s vision, and gestures for her to rise. “No, you can rise. I hardly suppose you can protect me from down on your knees. Besides, I have a busy schedule, and I’d rather not delay.”
Spinning on her heels, Yunjin feels the fabric of her silken cream dress brushing against her ankles as she turns back in the direction of her chambers, quickly beginning to make brisk pace back to resume her work. Yet after only a few steps, she finds herself distracted – her ears becoming invaded by a painful drumming sound she imagines she’s going to become all too familiar with in the coming months.
Steel boots – Kazuha’s to be precise.
For all its utility when it comes to construction and fortification, stone does an incredibly poor job at masking sounds – perhaps it would be more accurate to say it even amplifies it in many cases. As a child, Yunjin had her many attempts to break curfew thwarted by the echoing of her voice along the castle walls, leading to her inevitably being caught by one of her maids on just about every occasion, while in recent times, she’s used the same exploit to listen in on gossip deemed too scandalous for one of such high birth. For the same reasons, she’s also taken to wearing light sandals that dull her steps on all occasions not requiring a specific dress code, like her dreaded court shoes with the pointed toe box that makes her feel as though her bones are trapped in a vice.
Yet while her current attire might be tailored on the side of comfort, both for her ears and her bodyguard’s, Kazuha’s, seems to incorporate neither – a rigid form of utilitarianism necessitated by the looming possibility of combat. Perhaps it’s too early to make such high demands of her knight for the sake of her own personal well being, and while Yunjin has never been fond of abusing the powers bestowed upon her by little more than the nature of her birth, she can’t imagine putting up with such a dreadful racket everyday for the rest of her life.
After making her way down the long castle hallway and back to the entrance of her chambers, Kazuha breaks out into a brief sprint to position herself ahead of her – while only elevating the clatter of her boots as she tries to make her way inside. Before she even manages to get her hand on the doorknob, Kazuha steps forward, pulling the door open for her and bowing her head down once more, as if hesitant to even look her in the eyes for fear of misstepping.
If the thought of having someone accompany her at all hours of the day was the first source of her annoyance, and the sound of her steel soles was the second, Yunjin can only see the loss of what little independence she still retained as the final nail in the coffin for her quiet tolerance.
The palace staff, more often than not vulnerable due to their lack of status, or seeking promotion for their noble house in the case of others in servitude, has always worn ever so slightly on Yunjin’s mind, even from a young age. Simply because of the actions of other haughty nobles and righteous tyrants, many assume that she too sees such simple, ordinary tasks commoners wouldn’t think twice about performing as being intrinsically beneath her – while even those who don’t are fearful of the consequences of a wrongful assumption.
Simply put, such deference is infuriating, especially when it gets in the way of her ability to connect not only with people, but the world around her itself – beyond the sheltered walls of the palace. Deep down, Yunjin has always wished for intellectual conversations devoid of the usual hierarchical games. Even other nobles, situated just beneath her in terms of baseless status, default to agreeing with her every idea, no matter how erroneous her logic may be.
Still, burying her annoyance in her chest, Yunjin decides not to overlook Kazuha’s showing of kindness, despite how forced it might be. With a simple bow of her head – far from the displays she’s already shown to her, she steps through the doorway to her chamber, waiting for Kazuha to follow once more as she takes a seat at her desk.
Far from the power of her footfall, Kazuha closes the door behind her with such careful precision Yunjin has to stifle a laugh, though she has no doubts her actions are yet another attempt not to slight her. Hiding her softly forming smile beneath her lithe fingers, Yunjin rests her chin on her palm and leans forward in her chair in a manner that would surely get her scolded by her etiquette teachers if they were there to watch.
Without any direct commands to follow, she silently analyzes Kazuha once more – meticulously scrutinizing the way she stands with one arm bent behind her and back straightened out perfectly upright, almost as if there’s a plank of wood underneath her armor.
“My father informed me that you were highly skilled, but I must say you look younger than me – I can’t imagine you have all that much experience already.” Yunjin thinks aloud, so used to being alone that she often finds herself expressing her thoughts absentmindedly as little more than a way to process them. Yet while she normally tries to keep them suppressed as whispers, she supposes there’s no harm in voicing her concerns more openly to someone appointed to make her feel safe.
“That’s correct, your highness.” Kazuha nods before hesitantly looking back upwards, unsure whether it’s appropriate to meet her eyes, or offensive to avert her gaze when addressing her, resulting in a strange gaze halfway between the two. “However, my mother is the captain of the guards, and as such I’ve learned to fight from a young age. I can assure you, your highness, that my age does not mean I’m inexperienced.”
Yunjin feels her smirk grow as she notices Kazuha’s quiet defiance, pushing back against her assumptions in a way most otherwise wouldn’t, yet with a level of subtlety that many also wouldn’t take notice of. Yet at the same time, she likes to think she’s far more accustomed to spotting the subtle games of status being played in courts every day.
“You are allowed to look at me, I want to see your face.” Yunjin requests while casting her eyes upwards to meet her knight’s – though she imagines she likely perceive her words as more befitting to a command. While she might not be able to see any of her muscles beneath her armor to show the fruits of her labor, she quickly takes notice of how flawless Kazuha’s face is, bearing not even a single scratch or scar – something rare for a supposedly born fighter. “You look as though you’ve never seen battle, am I correct?”
With another nod, Kazuha lets out an affirmative hum as her lips creep into something resembling a smile – a quiet showing of her appreciation. “I can only say I’m fortunate for the stability his majesty has created.”
‘Fortunate’ is an interesting word for a soldier describing peace, Yunjin thinks, though a thankful reprieve from the other hot-headed recruits she occasionally encounters. While their kingdom prides itself on keeping peace, the mere act of having a standing military and a guard regiment comes with an acknowledgment of the possibility of war. No matter what their stated motive is, at the end of the day, no one picks up a sword and dons a suit for armor to do anything but fight – even in peacetime. To that end, so many soldiers – especially those who have never set foot on a battlefield, unaware of the horrors of war, seem almost itching for an excuse to draw blood.
In the worst of cases, she’s seen guards harassing innocent people for little reason other than a desire to start a fight, while others – though they’d never speak such words out loud, wish for relations with another kingdom to break down, just so they can get an opportunity to put their training to use. Yet in Kazuha, she senses no hatred, only a solemn hope for the perseveration of peace.
While a standing army that never sees war might be critiqued as a waste of the crown’s funds by some, Yunjin has always held an opposing view. Rather, a nation that deploys its army is one that has failed its citizens – war itself is a failure on the part of leaders in maintaining positive relations. So, if Kazuha’s goal as a knight is to never have a need to draw her sword, then perhaps she’s wiser than she gave her credit for.
“So, may I ask how you plan to watch over me.” Yunjin asks after a brief pause of silence, before scrutinizing Kazuha’s expression once more, enunciating her question with a quiet hum to prompt a response. Yet as Kazuha remains uncertain – as if free thinking is a skill she hasn’t been taught, she supposes her question was perhaps too broad in scope for her to come up with a timely answer to. “It’s just that most knights I’ve seen tend to keep watch outside of rooms, rather than simply lurking in the doorway.”
Once more, even despite narrowing the scope of her questioning, Kazuha remains silent, though she can see the wheels in her head turning from the subtle shift in her expression. After a few moments more of deliberation, she folds her arm into her stomach and bows forwards, speaking slowly before motioning to turn around. “Of course, your highness.”
“Wait, where are you going?” Yunjin calls out as Kazuha turns her back on her, freezing with one hand on the doorknob, as if unsure what to do – stuck between two commands.
Slowly turning back around, Kazuha maintains her rigid posture, though her tight lipped expression slowly begins to slide, fearful that she’s wearing thin on her patience. “Your highness ordered me to wait outside. Am I mistaken?"
“What? No, I did not order you to do anything.” Yunjin responds with a heavy enunciation, the mere utterance of the word leaving a bitter taste of the tongue. “I do not like giving orders, least of all where they aren’t warranted. You know far more about protecting people than I do, so I was simply asking what, in your judgment, is the best course of action to take in watching over me?”
As her expression slips once more, Kazuha’s lips fall into a clearly defined ‘O’ shape in surprise, though as always, careful not to offend her, she quickly wipes it off her face in favor of a more stoic look. “Well in that case your highness, it is my belief that it would be best if I stayed here with you.”
Before elaborating further, Kazuha takes a few steps towards her open balcony, casting her eyes down at the city below, before turning back to face her. “We might be quite high up, but the walls of the castle are scalable by someone with training and agility. Moreover, as more conventional entry points to the castle are already fortified by other guards, I believe an attacker would recognize these chambers as a key vulnerability in our defenses.”
Humming along to Kazuha’s words in approval and understanding, Yunjin feels a smile creeping onto her lips, noticing the competency in her voice as she continues in her assessment. Perhaps yet again she hasn’t given her enough credit – being younger than some of the other more seasoned knights certainly doesn’t mean that she’s lacking in her training. With such proficient observational and analytical skills, she could easily imagine her becoming far more than just a simple knight in the future.
Choosing to keep her curiosity at bay, she spares asking why Kazuha seems to know so much about the scalability of the palace’s moss covered walls, and instead lets out one final hum before speaking. “Good, that was quite a convincing assessment. Well then, if that’s settled, I suppose I should carry on with the rest of my business for today’s agenda.”
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“You’re following me.” Yunjin mutters with a grimace, speaking just barely above the all too familiar clanking of steel on stone behind her, disturbing her state of tranquility as she walks towards the royal library. Before, she used to find such a serene, yet simple enjoyment in hearing the sounds of birds flying overhead – the tides crashing against the shore in the distance, but now, much like the fragile relations with their neighboring nations, it seems peace is increasingly hard to come by.
Almost as if she can’t even hear the heavy footfall of her boots, Kazuha doesn’t try to dampen her steps as she continues to match pace with her. “That is one of my primary duties, your highness.”
Suddenly halting her steps, she waits for Kazuha to finally catch up to her before turning ever so slightly, casting a judgmental glance over her shoulder. “Are you aware that just because you add ‘your highness’ at the end of your comments, it doesn’t make what you say any less snide.”
Briefly flinching in fear, Kazuha’s simple expression twitches as her breath becomes stuck in her throat. Yunjin almost has to pity her – hating the terror she can inflict upon for nothing more than a simple joke. Yet, as it seems, such is the curse of royalty.
Straightening out her back, Kazuha stops to place a hand on her heart and bow her head apologetically, though really, she just appreciates finally having a moment of solace from the infuriating sounds of her boots – if only a brief respite. “M- my apologies, your highness. I hope my words haven’t caused you offense, that was never my intention. Please-”
With a simple dismissive wave of her hand, Kazuha silences herself once more, waiting patiently upon her response without interrupting. For a moment longer, Yunjin breathes a blissful sigh and casts her eyes out towards the endless ocean beyond the boundaries of the corridor. “No no. Keep doing it, I prefer it to how rigid you knights usually are. It’s nice to know that there’s actually a beating heart underneath all that armor of yours.”
After a minute more of walking, Yunjin eventually reaches the end of the long stone corridor lining the edge of the palace, before reaching the entrance-way to the royal library – a grand, ornate building that connects to the southern wing. As she steps through the heavy wooden doors, she closes her eyes for just a second, drawing in a deep breath and feeling like she’s been transported to a whole other world, far beyond the reaches of her kingdom.
Rather than the endless walls of carefully chiseled stone, creating an oddly uniform design that always manages to feel so foreign, despite being her home for entire life, the interior of the library is profoundly warm – comforting like candlelight in winter nights. As far her eyes can see, bookshelves that once seemed as high as the sky form a countless number of rows between the crimson wooden walls. No matter how many times Yunjin walks the same path, it never grows stale, with new leather bound books and manuscripts adorning all colors of the rainbow catching her eyes each time.
Given just how vast the range of documents and sources the royal library holds, it’s hard not to get lost, and she can’t help but imagine even the wisest of scholars would go insane trying to absorb it all into their mind.
Even Yunjin herself, for all the time she’s spent here over the course of her life, knows she could easily waste an entire day just in searching for the reading on her daily agenda. Yet while it’s hard to say whether that’s a testament to the abundance of knowledge stored within the walls of her kingdom or a mere sign of a lack of efficiency when it comes to organizations, she’s always been fascinated with the way the library staff are able to navigate the labyrinth with such ease.
Still, if the librarians could serve to make one change, it would be actually making an attempt to clean the dust off the shelves more than once a century, as Yunjin involuntarily sneezes the moment she breathes in the thick musty air. Her blissful fantasy is quickly broken once more by the same sound that has been grating her ears all day – though at this point, she seriously has to question whether she’s at fault for even hoping otherwise.
For once, however, Kazuha seems to notice how loud she is too, if for no reason other than the collective glare she receives from just about every person in the otherwise silent library. Stone might do an incredibly poor job at masking sound, but it’s hard to imagine anything could be worse than the enclosed wooden walls.
Unsurprisingly, the head librarian hears the both of them before she sees them, briefly parting to her lips to chastise the mindless knight causing a racket in her sanctuary, before restraining her anger upon noticing her. Instead, trying her hardest not to let her quietly bubbling rage show, she forces a weak, customary smile onto her lips and folding herself forwards into a bow. “Your highness, it’s…a pleasure to see you as always. I have the books you requested ready for you now.”
“It’s nice to see you’re well too, Hyunjung. Is everything in order?” Yunjin asks as she casts her eyes around the desk, finding small piles of books scattered across the wooden surface, along with a staggeringly large collection off to the sides that she can only assume to be the unsorted pile of returns lent out to scholars throughout the kingdom.
“Of course, though I must confess I had a hard time tracking down every relevant document given the volume of her highness's. request.” Hyunjung responds with a simple nod, before letting a sigh of exertion spill from her lips.
“Oh really?” Yunjin questions with a raised eyebrow, casting her focus down to the books in front of her in confusion. “This hardly seems like that many-”
“My apologies, your highness, those are my own research.” Hyunjung says as she clears her throat, stepping back and gesturing to the monstrous pile of books by her side. “These are all the documents I could find.”
Left stunned in silence, feeling her jaw close to dropping in shock as she mentally begins to mourn the lost hours of her day ahead of her.
Barely even able to formulate a sentence, Hyunjung decides to continue, taking note of her expression of sheer confusion – though it hardly takes a genius to tell what she’s feeling. “You see, while the Aratama mountains are little more than a difficult trade route to us, they’re of deep significance to Felidian culture. So while I tried to limit my scope to just policy documents and historic maps, I felt it would be disingenuous to omit poetry and mythology if you truly want a complete understanding of this border dispute. Though again, my apologies your highness, I will send for someone to help you bring these back to your chambers.”
“No, it’s no trouble, thank you for your help, I can’t imagine how long finding all those took. I can take these back my-” Yunjin begins before freezing mid-sentence with her arms outstretched, reaching forward to collect the pile of books, before noticing Kazuha shifting out of the corner of her eye. In just a single fluttering blink, Kazuha scoops up all of the books into her arms before she even gets the chance, leaving just a single loose piece of parchment that drifts off the pile and lands in her palms.
Fighting back a hearty bout of laughter that almost makes Yunjin think twice about her decisions not to abuse her power, Hyunjung simply bows once more, trying her hardest not to meet her despondent gaze for fear of cracking. “I can see you already have everything handled, your highness. Have a nice afternoon.”
Much to her chagrin, Yunjin takes the single piece of parchment into her arms, fighting the urge to crumple it up in annoyance, though she quickly thinks twice, knowing how valuable such a document likely is. Feeling her embarrassment growing with each passing second, Yunjin turns away from Hyunjung’s gaze as quickly as she can, before gesturing for Kazuha to follow her back towards her chambers. Though given how her face is entirely obscured by the books in her arms to the point where she can barely see, let alone do her duties, Yunjin isn’t entirely sure whether she even noticed her instructions.
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Dust scatters across her chambers as Kazuha sets the pile of musty books down on her desk with an earth shattering thud, before wiping her hands clean and sending another sheet into the air. Fighting back the urge to sneeze, Yunjin can only thank the design of her chambers for including an open balcony for keeping it from becoming as stuffy as the royal library.
Releasing a heavy breath after carrying the stack of books for so long, Kazuha shakes the last of the dust in the direction of her balcony, before turning back to face her. “Is there a reason why you didn’t ask a servant for help with these, your highness? I don’t mean to cause offense, but I sincerely doubt you’d be able to carry these on your own if even I had trouble.”
“I don’t…” Yunjin starts with a wistful sigh, pausing to contemplate her words while stretching her arm to take the top book from her pile and setting it down in front of her – hesitant of wasting even a single second given the workload she’s placed upon herself. “I don’t like making other people go out of their way to do things that I can handle myself.”
“You didn’t seem to mind my assistance.” Kazuha questions once more, though her tone is far from invasive. Rather she sounds purely inquisitive – a rare trait given how strongly even nobility are taught not to talk back to royalty.
Biting her tongue, Yunjin chooses not to mention Kazuha blatantly showing her up, although she knows for a fact that few others would react the same to their knights acting as she has. Instead, drumming her fingernails against the side of her desk, she begins to flip through the pages of her first book, mentally preparing herself for the day ahead of her.
Much to her surprise, however, as she begins to drift into a silent focus, she hears Kazuha speak up yet again from behind her. With how quiet and distant her tone becomes, it’s hard to tell whether or not she’s even aware that she’s vocalizing her thoughts aloud, though she still listens nonetheless. “I suppose I’m the same actually. Though at the same time, I really like doing things for other people – knowing that I made a difference in someone’s day feels fulfilling.”
Lifting her head up from her book, finding herself swiftly drawn in by Kazuha’s absentminded thoughts, Yunjin decides to indulge in her unknowing distraction. It’s rare for someone to speak to her so casually, she supposes she should savor such an opportunity. “I take it that’s why you chose to become a knight then?”
“This is just semantics, but I’d say it’s more the reason why I continue to be one.” Kazuha clarifies, pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts, though evidently the consequences of speaking so freely with someone of higher birth never once more crosses her mind. “Given my mother’s position, I feel as though I was born into this path, all I’ve done is find a reason to continue on it.”
Caught up in the quiet sullenness of Kazuha’s words, as if contemplating a bygone past, one she can never return to – perhaps one she never even experienced, Yunjin can’t help but ask a question that burns in her mind. “But you do enjoy it, don’t you? You enjoy being a knight?”
“I do. It has its challenges, but so does any other occupation, and like I said, I like being able to protect people. May I ask why you ask this, your highness?” Kazuha questions with a hint of confusion tinting her voice, though Yunjin doesn’t miss the way she’s suddenly remembered to use honorifics with her.
“Well, I am aware of the incredibly long hours knights work as part of their service. I wouldn’t want you to devote so much of your time and energy to something which you don’t enjoy.” Yunjin answers honestly, though with how complacent and easygoing Kazuha seems to be, she’s sure that she wouldn’t voice a single complaint even if she had a scroll full of them.
“Ah, well not to worry your highness. I enjoy being able to serve you.” Kazuha says once more for reassurance, along with a disarmingly sincere smile.
As their brief conversation sinks into silence once more, allowing her the opportunity to return – or perhaps more accurately, to actually begin her work in the first place, Yunjin casts her eyes down to the endless pages in front of her. With each page she reads she feels herself getting lost in the history and lore of her studies, both the wider scale of the Aratama mountains and the intricate details – tiny cogs that seem insignificant from a distance but are actually indispensable parts of a far greater mechanism.
It’s fascinating in ways she never expected a mountain range that lines part of their borders to be, but as the hours quickly begin to tick away from her, it becomes far harder to stay engaged.
Overcome by the dull nature of old trading documents, listing little more the volume of goods and how much they were exchanged for, Yunjin lets out a heavy sigh, desperately in need of a break from her laborious thoughts. Though in her focus she managed to tune out the sound well enough, as she leans back in her chair, rolling her head back until her eyes are affixed to the ceiling, she hears Kazuha’s presence once more – the clanging of her boots as she restlessly paces in place.
It’s strange enough to have someone else in her room while she works, but it’s a whole other thing entirely for Kazuha to be so silent in her looming. If she wasn’t even aware that she was there in the first place, Yunjin doubts she’d even be able to feel her presence, yet knowing what she does, the awkwardness becomes infuriating. “May I ask how long you plan to keep lurking in the corner of my room like a phantom?”
“I- uhm-” Kazuha stammers out in confusion before clearing her throat as she tries to bring herself back into the room, evidently just as spaced out as she is. “Is there something else that you would like me to be doing, your highness?”
“No, but I can’t imagine you’re comfortable standing like that all day.” Yunjin simply responds, offering a gentle, sympathetic smile in hopes of making her concern seem more genuine, rather than just a direct order. “You aren’t an ornament, if i wanted a suit of armor in my chambers I would request one. Come, you should sit down.”
“You shouldn’t trouble yourself with that, your highness. Standing for long duration's is something us knights are used to.” Kazuha responds in unknowing defiance, even going so far as to straighten out her back as if to prove her point, though beneath it Yunjin notices her tightly gritted teeth.”
Feeling a knowing smile creeping onto her lips, Yunjin rests her chin in her palm, hiding her inelegant expression. “You’re a terrible liar, ser knight.”
“My comfort shouldn’t come as a detriment to her highness's safety. I am to always be prepared.” Kazuha answers monotonously, almost as if reciting scripture – a stringent code burrowed into the depths of her mind.
“I’d rather see you comfortable than suffering on my behalf.” Yunjin responds with a long sigh, setting her scrutinizing gaze on Kazuha to show her sincerity, before casting her eyes around the room in search of another chair. Eventually her eyes lined on another ornate chair tucked into the space beneath her vanity across the room, and with a single motion of her hand, she gestured for her to follow her gaze. “Bring that chair closer, you can sit here. And before you give me any more lectures about chivalry, I will make that an order if you continue to be stubborn, though I’d much rather you follow of your own volition.”
“As you wish your highness.” Kazuha responds with a deep bow of respect, one that Yunjin would be appreciative of, were it not for the fact that it signifies her cares fell on deaf ears.
Tentatively, Kazuha lifts the chair up with a gentle grip, as if using too much force will cause her gauntlets to ruin the artistically crafted rattan weave, before bringing it closer, setting the chair down a few steps away from her. It’s obvious that her mind is trapped in a dilemma of abiding by her orders to stay close, while also being hesitant to infringe too strongly on her personal space, though Yunjin would hardly complain about the proximity.
It brings a smile to Yunjin’s lips as Kazuha takes a seat beside her, feeling with each action as though she’s actually sharing her space with a real human as opposed to a sentient suit of armor with no needs beyond serving her. Having a knight may be an arrangement designed to purely benefit her, even if Kazuha herself takes gratification from the task, but she’s never liked the thought of viewing those supposedly beneath her in the social hierarchy as any lesser than her – their needs unimportant.
More than anything, if Kazuha is going to spend every waking hour of the day with her, she wants her to enjoy it.
“I know they’re quite dull, but you’re welcome to read them if you wish. Next time we stop by the royal library, you can pick out something more to your interests too – I’m sure you must get bored doing nothing all day.” Yunjin speaks up once more, gesturing towards the smaller, yet slowly growing pile of books to her side, while still keeping her eyes on Kazuha.
“I’m not particularly well read, I’m afraid. I can't imagine that I couldn’t understand even half of what her highness does.” Kazuha simply responds in deference – a quiet form of respect Yunjin has never been able to stomach. Though as she dwells on her words for a few breaths longer, a burning question quickly comes to mind.
“But you are able to read, yes?” Yunjin hesitantly asks, fearful of her tone coming across as too judgmental or condensing. Among nobility, illiteracy is something looked down upon, but she’s aware that not everyone has the same time and access to tutors as she had growing up. As seems to be so often the case, ability is rarely a matter of intelligence, of simple accessibility.
In response, Kazuha lets out a high pitched hum, a smile working its way onto her lips as she recounts fond memories. “My father taught me when I was younger. He’s a scholar, so he deemed it to be equally as important as my training.”
“Oh really? We should visit him in the royal library sometime, I’m sure he’d be glad to see you.” Yunjin responds with an equally fond smile, like she’s able to recall Kazuha’s childhood memories as if they’re her own, just from the sincerity in her voice. “But yes, you should read something too, I’m sure you’ll be able to find something that piques your interest – there are enough books here after all. Knowledge is the greatest of treasures, Nakamura, you should seize it at every opportunity.”
Despite her attempt at breaking her stalwart expression with a light-hearted joke, Yunjin finds herself ultimately unsuccessful, as Kazuha instead simply turns her attention to the pile of books ahead of her, pupils dilating from the sheer overwhelming choice. While it’s undeniably a little disappointing, she quickly convinces herself not to get too caught up over it, knowing that Kazuha isn’t ready to show that side of herself yet given how strongly her stoicism has been drilled into her through her training.
Instead, with a simple smile as she watches Kazuha struggle with choice for another brief moment, Yunjin decides it’s best to return to her own studies too, having already wasted enough time with her short distraction. She still can’t be sure whether or not being alone as she always has been is preferable to this arrangement – only time will tell in that regard, though admittedly, having something in her chambers with her to break up the monotony of her everyday work is a welcome change, to say the least.
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Having had over a week to sit on her decision, weighing up the advantages and drawbacks on both sides, Yunjin is certain that she prefers having someone to share in her company instead of being alone all the time, though admittedly, her opinions on the matter account to very little in terms of altering the outcome. There are few people that she’d willing give up her dearly cherished alone time for, and even in such a short period, Kazuha has already already become one of them.
Not that she’d ever speak such thoughts aloud, however.
To her credit, Kazuha too already seems to have become more accustomed to being around her, shaking off some of her nervous habits, and no longer as fearful of invoking her ire while in her presence. With time, she’s beginning to understand that what she once assumed were orders, are often little more than requests – ones she actually autonomy in, as she would treat a friend. Of course, she’d still accompany her everywhere regardless, but it’s nice to imagine she’s willfully obliging in the request she makes that go beyond her usual duties as a knight.
It’s only simple things, like getting her to sit down instead of standing to attention all day, and watching her relax her posture or stop masking her emotions fully, but it means the world to Yunjin – makes their arrangement feel far more natural. She’s even able to encourage her to pick out her own books from the royal library that appeal far more to her tastes, because while Kazuha is seemingly never one to complain, she knows the old records she reads are about as dry as the parchment they're written on.
Instead, much to her surprise, she seems to have a deep love for fictional works and folklore, often getting so lost in mythology that she can’t help but share every last detail of the tales she reads about. To some, the chattering of a knight might be a bad habit, one that brings nothing but annoyance, but to Yunjin, it’s a dearly welcome reprieve from her own arduous studies, and seeing the smile on her face only makes it more worth it.
A sudden, yet delicate knocking at the door to her chambers breaks Yunjin from her drifting thoughts, shaking her head as she finds herself almost physically buried in her work, before turning her eyes in the direction of the sound. In the same motion, Kazuha snaps her own book shut and bolts to attention, rising from her seat and stepping closer to the doorway, ready to break into action at a moment’s notice.
Forcefully clearing her throat, Yunjin tries to adjust her voice back to the gentle and ladylike tone she’s been trained to use, having realized in the past few days that she’s beginning to revert to her natural speaking voice when it’s just her and Kazuha. “You may enter.”
Though unfamiliar to her, Kazuha quickly relaxes her shoulder as she hears her speak, with Yunjin recognizing the voice as one of the castle’s many maids. After fumbling with the door handle, the maid slowly pushes the door open, looming momentarily with a silver tea tray resting in the palm of her other hand while awaiting her instructions. I brought your tea, your highness.”
As much as Yunjin hates having rigid structure in her days, often finding herself suffocated by the strict routine that accompanies her royal duties, a gentle sigh spills from her lips as she leans back in her chair and glances over towards the maid. For the longest time, she’s struggled with the idea of taking breaths, on occasion even studying for so long that she works herself to the point of sickness, though at the same time, having someone come and remind her to pace herself as a fully grown adult seems frankly embarrassing. Afternoon tea as a brief respite in her schedule each day has proven to be more than effective as a compromise however – like a personal reward for her diligence.
“Thank you, you can leave it on the balcony.” Yunjin responds with an appreciative smile, watching her maid as she makes her way across her room. Yet as she stares for a moment longer, casting her eyes down at the tray in her arms, she feels one of her eyebrows raising inquisitively. “May I request that you bring another cup from the kitchen?”
Processing her request with the rigid straightening of her back, as if concerned at even being acknowledged in the first place, the maid hastily continues across her room, rushing to set the tea tray down as quickly as possible before folding her body into a deep, apologetic bow. Yunjin cringes at the subtle expression of fear in her eyes, hating the power she wields over others, though she imagines making a point of it would only make matters worse. “My apologies, your highness. Of course, I-I’ll be right back.”
Though the maid hardly notices her with her fleet footsteps, yet still careful not to make a sound, Kazuha reaches one of her arms out to try and draw the maid’s attention. “That won’t be necessary. You’ve already come all this way, I wouldn’t want you to-”
Before Kazuha can finish her sentence, Yunjin places a gentle hand on her forearm, promptly silencing her as she guides her arm back down. Even having known her for such a brief period of her life, she’s come to recognize when Kazuha is simply declining things for the sake of being polite, and while it's her duty to protect her, Yunjin sees it as her own to keep her from suffering in silence. “It’s quite hot today, I’m sure my knight must be in need of something to drink too.”
For once, as she releases her light grip on Kazuha’s arm, she doesn’t protest any further, though Yunjin attributes that more to being a product of her doe eyed expression – in shock at the sudden contact, as if being touched by royalty is frankly an unimaginable concept to her. Then again, however, Yunjin supposes that isn’t all too far from the truth.
Since birth, she’s been taught to be restrained and almost doll-like in both her movements and her actions. To the average person, touch is just another way of gaining someone’s attention, but in the courts of nobility, it becomes deeply inelegant – the mere action scandalous enough to get her reprimanded by her tutors if they were present.
The shock on Kazuha’s face doesn’t subside until the maid returns with a second cup in her hands, prompting her to return to her duties with a sudden shift in her demeanor. Yunjin can tell just from how laborious the maid’s breaths are that she likely ran all the way to the kitchens and back to keep her from waiting, and though a part of her is still angry for how highly she’s being treated for no meaningful reason, she decides it’s best to simply remain appreciative instead, knowing that hierarchy is the hardest thing to break in a person’s mind.
Setting the matching cup down on the opposite side of the tray as if it were always there, the maid folds herself forward into another deep apologetic bow. “My apologies again, I was not aware of her highness having a guest. You see I have been on leave lately visiting my family, and-”
As Yunjin rises from her chair, matching the maids bow with a more refined one of her own, she freezes in her flustered speech, like her brain has become by such an uncharacteristic action, having only known hostility from nobility. “It’s not your fault, you clearly weren’t made aware. Thank you, just remember to bring a second cup in the future – and I hope you enjoyed your time off, I hear the countryside is nice this time of year.”
“It is. Thank you, your highness, I hope you have a good day despite my blunder.” The maid answers as she straightens her back, a warm smile on her lips that makes her words seem far more genuine, despite the obvious deference behind them.
Left in peace once more, Yunjin strides over to her balcony, feeling the early afternoon rays washing over her face as light spills past the walls of the palace. As she stops, drifting her fingers languidly over the side of the metal chair, she turns back to Kazuha with a raised eyebrow, speaking before she can get any words in about her request being unnecessary. “Well, aren’t you going to take a seat? I didn’t request a second cup for nothing.”
With a subtle hint of a smile hidden beneath her confusion, Kazuha tentatively steps closer, torn between her orders and her training, before ultimately deciding to listen to her instructions. Upon reaching the other side of the table, her body stiffen as she darts her eyes between her and the unoccupied chairs – years of etiquette training screaming at her not to take a seat until those of higher status have done so first.
Sensing that she’s getting nowhere with the game of tug of war in her mind, and pity her for what she can only assume is some form of hierarchical psychological torture she’s inflicting upon her, Yunjin rolls her eyes before shifting her attention towards her, forcing their gazes to meet. “I asked you to sit, please don’t make me order you.”
With that one simple word cutting through the uncertainty in her mind, Kazuha quickly snaps to attention, taking a seat in the chair beside her with perfect posture, and even going so far as to awkwardly set both of her hands on her lap – a motion that appears wholly unnatural for her.
In truth, it pains Yunjin to see how quickly Kazuha’s tone shifted, with the lone utterance of the word ‘order’, one that makes everyone fall in place before her like loyal dogs. It weighs heavy on both her tongue and her mind, burning like hot coals while filling her with a profoundly strong pang of guilt.
She wishes she could just ditch hierarchies entirely – wishes that she could go about her daily life without being followed by a series of archaic rules. Admittedly however, as much Yunjin loathes them, it is her existence itself that upholds them too, a cruel paradox that leaves her trapped in the middle. Or rather, one that traps others within her games, no matter how unwilling she plays her part in it.
Every time Kazuha shows her genuine fondness or grows closer to her, she knows it’s a slip up – a break in her orders that she quickly forces herself to correct, yet deep down, Yunjin only wants to see the real Kazuha, beneath her armor, and beyond her skin. She doesn’t want her to do things with her only as part of an ‘order’, especially not when she wouldn’t think twice about them were she asked by a commoner. Ironically, more than anything, she finds herself using her authority as a means of making people disregard her status – adding yet another layer to the endlessly spiraling paradox.
Before taking her own seat, Yunjin picks up the teapot with a careful grip, before beginning to pour Kazuha’s cup, keeping her eyes locked upon her as a quiet means of dissuading any protests. Even so, Kazuha raises her hands from her laps, almost signaling to take the pot from her hands, before she finally decides to speak up, deterring any further actions. “This tea set was a gift from House Hong, I wouldn’t want you causing a diplomatic incident by breaking it with those gauntlets of yours.”
Once she finishes pouring the tea for both Kazuha and herself, Yunjin sets the teapot down between them in the middle of the table, taking a moment to marvel at the ornate carvings in the silver finish that delicately reflect the sun’s rays. Thankfully, though vague and indirect in her requests, Kazuha removes her steel gauntlets as she takes her seat without needing to ask any further.
“Actually, I think I’d prefer it if you didn’t wear your plate armor at all while you’re on duty. I can’t imagine it’s remotely comfortable for you, and you must be boiling in this summer heat. It’s not good for you.” Yunjin says once more, voice heavy with concern as she ever so slightly narrows her eyes upon her, electing to not also mention the sheer annoyance she feels every time she hears Kazuha’s footsteps echoing throughout the castle walls.
“It might not be comfortable, but my comfort shouldn’t-”
“Don’t,” Yunjin interrupts with a single raised finger, silencing Kazuha before she can utter the same words she’s already said a hundred times in the past. She knows her tone is frankly unladylike of her – hardly befitting someone of her station, and perhaps the heat is simply getting to her, but Yunjin is far too tired to argue over something so meaningless. “Your comfort is my concern, just as my safety is yours. I don’t want to see you passing out from the heat, and since I know that alone won’t deter you, I imagine being conscious is quite a vital part of remaining perceptive.”
Taking a moment to think, reassuring Yunjin that her words haven’t fallen upon deaf ears, Kazuha rests her finger on her chin before speaking. “I see. What would you have me wear instead, your highness?”
“I’m not too sure. I must confess that this is far from my area of expertise.” Yunjin admits with the simple shake of her head, pushing Kazuha to find an answer on her own without simply defaulting to her authority. “You surely know more about armor than I do, so I shall ultimately leave the decision up to you, but I am aware that there are lighter options available that would perhaps be more befitting given your circumstance.”
Kazuha remains deep in her thoughts, as if carefully pondering a solution that will please both of them, though Yunjin seriously doubts yet again whether she’s taken her own wellbeing into consideration in the first place. In the bout of silence that remains, accompanied by little more than ocean birds flying overhead, Yunjin presses her teacup up to her lips, taking a gentle sip while scrutinizing her form once more. Even now, Kazuha remains so rigid in her posture, to the point that it makes her fearful whether she’ll ever be able to feel relaxed in her presence – knowing the authority at her fingertips.
A relationship like this – one where she holds all the power while Kazuha relegates herself to being little more than an absentminded puppet that only acts upon her whims is far from what she wants. Even the thought of it alone is far too coercive for Yunjin’s liking, though finding an alternative will hardly prove easy.
As she finishes taking her sip, Yunjin sets her cup down with a light clink against the silver saucer – an involuntary, wistful sigh falls from her lips as her eyes remain affixed on Kazuha, with far more slipping free a moment later. “I know you haven’t known me for long, but just because you’re around me, it doesn’t mean you always have to act like you have a rod stuck up your-”
Quickly sensing the severity of her blunder, knowing the harsh slap her tutors would give her if they heard her, Yunjin’s hand flies to cover her mouth, feeling her eyes bulge upon in shock at her own actions. In turn, despite her prayers that she only imagined speaking her suppressed thoughts aloud, Kazuha’s lips part in surprise, looking at her once more as if she’s said something truly unthinkable – although for once, she fears she might actually be right.
Thankfully however, Kazuha chooses not to acknowledge her misstep, and for once Yunjin has to thank the social privileges afforded to her from her status. Instead, she simply relaxes her posture ever so slightly, taking her fiercely spoken words to heart before leaving them in the past.
“Your highness, if I might ask. Why is it you let servants make your tea when you say you don’t like others doing tasks on your behalf?”
Flinching ever so slightly at the sudden question, surprised to see even the slightest degree of boldness from Kazuha, Yunjin recoils an inch, before feeling a gentle smile working its way onto her lips. While she’s still instinctively using titles with her – a showing of deference she imagines will be near impossible to erase, she likes the way she’s pushing the boundaries of their relationship, even if just one step at a time. “
Well, I suppose the difference arises in the fact that serving food and drinks is part of the kitchen's job. I see that as being different from taking another servant away from their duties purely to make my life easier. Similarly, I’m sure you would receive strange looks if you attempted to fetch your own drinks at a tavern.”
“You say that word so foreignly. I take it you’ve never been to one?” Kazuha remarks aloud, with a slight humorous tone to her word, that while unexpected, is surely appreciated.
“It’s not a place particularly becoming of royalty.” Yunjin responds with a gentle smirk lilting her words as she leans forward slightly in her chair, becoming absorbed by the sudden conversation – one far deeper than their usual exchanges. “I also expect that I’d require an entire delegation of guards to accompany me to one too, which I’m sure defeats the purpose of such an establishment. Besides, I’m sure if I actually did try to go down to the kitchens to prepare some tea myself, I’d be forced out the room before I even set the water to boil.”
As a gentle chuckle spills from her lips, Kazuha covers her mouth with her palm, though her eyes still curve like crescents. “You’re certainly not wrong. I suppose I’ve never looked at things that way; you have an interesting outlook, your highness.”
“Thank you.” Yunjin simply responds with a gleeful smile resting on her face, spurred on by both Kazuha’s needless flattering as well as the fact that she’s finally starting to let up in her stoicism.
“I’m sure someone with your perceptive skills has noticed already, but I don’t have any handmaidens to help me get ready in the morning either. Unless my agenda is particularly busy with a ball or some other occasion, I prefer to handle such tasks myself – I find it helps keep me grounded.”
Shifting forwards in her chair in excitement, Kazuha leans closer, almost to the point of resting her elbows on the table, though her etiquette training swiftly kicks in. “And how is that any different? Isn’t it the job of a handmaiden to help their lady get ready?”
With her cup resting deftly between her fingers, Yunjin leans back in her seat with an inquisitive harm, intensely pondering Kazuha’s question. Yet no matter how much she searches in the depths of her mind, she only finds herself thoroughly stumped by her own flawed logic.
“Hmm, you seem to have me in a bind here. I must admit my logic is far from perfect, yet how often do we have a clear answer for the things we do? Regardless, no matter the reason, I prefer to keep at least some autonomy for myself, rather than having someone waiting on my hand and foot to do every minute chore for me. I find such power to be corrupting in those of noble blood.”
“I think I agree with that sentiment too, though I can hardly even imagine what it feels like.” Kazuha responds with an affirmative hum, seemingly satisfied by her answer judging from the way her lips curve ever so slightly upwards. “This is not to doubt the endless wisdom of the aristocracy, but I believe your way of thinking gives you a better understanding of how the world actually works beyond the palace walls. Admittedly, this arrangement has been quite a culture shock for me too, I’m hardly used to such luxuries as enjoying tea in the afternoon, though I’m truly thankful for it.”
Choosing not to reprimand Kazuha for her compliment that was just subtly backhanded towards the rest of her family for fear of destroying her confidence to speak freely, Yunjin simply smiles as she takes another sip of her tea. After all, it’s not as if she exactly disagrees with her notion either. While she might play nice with her fellow nobles for the sake of maintaining trading alliances with smaller houses, many of them are far from the types of people she enjoys sharing tea with.
For lack of a more complimentary phrase, in her efforts to aid in her kingdoms stability, she’s has to put up with some of the vile, shallow, and pretentious humans to have ever walked the planet, though for all her disgust, she’s never dared to say anything to their faces. For all their reverence, offering to kiss the ground she walks upon with every step, she finds their words often conflict with their sincerity – just as she tolerates them for her own alliances, they too are pursuing their own agenda.
Such is the nature of court politics; it’s a cutthroat game born from underhanded and predatory tactics, but in the same vein, so is the price of peace.
Yet while aristocrats will often use a whole manner of degrading words and phrases to describe those not born with the same silver spoon in their mouth as they were afforded, Yunjin has often found the most genuine conversation she’s had in her life among the ‘scum’ they speak of.
No matter how long it takes to make people feel comfortable speaking freely around her, the castle staff that know of her disposition are often far more friendly than power hungry nobles, who hide their true thoughts beneath a sinister veil of confidence. In time, she hopes Kazuha will be the same – hoping that this conversation won't become just a fleeting memory in her duties.
Nobility will always be a privilege long before it’s a burden, no matter how many issues she faces in her daily life, Yunjin makes no mistake in acknowledging that the life bestowed upon her has been far easier – not to mention far more luxurious, than that of a commoner. She doesn’t have to worry about monetary security, while also knowing she’d be the last to pick up a weapon in the event of war. Each step that a royal takes comes with a silken carpet beneath their feet, yet at the same time, she can’t help but crave normalcy – a life without the needless luxuries.
Gazing over the edge of her balcony, she watches the city below her, bustling with traffic as merchants and sailors load and offload goods from their ships throughout the port. Even from such a distance, she can tell how noisy it is, far from the serene tranquility of her chambers – it’s a dichotomy to the world she lives in, yet she wishes to experience it nonetheless.
Even for just a single day in her life, she wishes to be able to experience the life of an average citizen – one where she can walk down a busy market street without the crowds parting like the tides before her, have a drink in a tavern after a stressful day without the staff bending ninety degrees at the mere sight of her presence.
Breaking herself from her wistful fantasies with a despondent sigh, she casts her focus back to Kazuha, watching as she quietly sips on her tea while staring out at the ocean on the horizon. It takes a moment for her to feel her eyes upon her again, but Yunjin cherishes those fleeting seconds – the rare normalcy that encircles them. Even if experiencing the city without being recognized is realistically impossible, she can’t help but wish to try.
Maybe with enough time, the bakers and merchants that run their own stalls would in turn come to accept her as the castle staff have – to see that she’s made of the same flesh and blood as them, rather than being some untouchable entity that deserves their undying loyalty.
It might be little more than a fever dream, or the ramblings of a madwoman that needs a break from the uniform walls of her chambers, but Yunjin is determined to try. At least then, she’ll be able to find an answer either way.
“The market should be in town this weekend. Have you ever been, your highness?” Kazuha asks as she continues to gaze longingly out across the balcony - her tone respectful, as if consciously of the vastly different lives they lead.
“Oh, is it? How interesting…” Yujin responds with a lilt to her words, a gentle smile gracing her lips as she fixes her attention on her knight. “I have been before, though I must confess with my duties, it’s often hard to find the time. Would you mind coming for a walk with me when it arrives?”
Slowly turning her head to set her eyes upon her once more, Kazuha sets her teacup down, expression cracking into a sincere smile. Her gaze is brimming with fondness, as if finally realizing that her words aren't to inform her of the agenda for the coming days, but a genuine invitation.
“Of course, your highness. I’ll accompany you wherever it is you wish to go.”