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Chapter Text

Alec POV

By the time Izzy and Jace knew Alec was going into a crisis, it was already too late. The sounds of their parents voices, questioning them about the high warlock of Brooklyn and why they had gone to Magnus Bane for help were visibly grating on their older brother.

Izzy saw the shift in his facial expressions, with pinched brows and his teeth worrying his bottom lip until it was red.

Jace watched his hands as he listened to Maryse describe in detail how warlocks were beneath them and how Magnus was using them to gain information on the clave and the institute. Alec liked to rub his hands together when he was nervous, anxious and trying to focus on keeping himself present.

As Maryse continued her tirade about the high warlock and his various, and admittedly plentiful, violations of rules and laws set by the accords and the clave, Alec started to hum. It started quiet, with Izzy standing next to him hearing first.

She tried to comfort him, placing her hand on his back but that only sent him jolting to the right, away from her touch. His humming got louder and now the rest of his family could hear him as his control faltered.

Alec rarely went into a crisis now he was older and able to identify his triggers. He stayed away from anything that would send him into a sensory overload and in his room were his ear defenders that allowed him to shut out the constant buzzing chaos of the institute when it was too much.

Alec had learned to mask his stims; once hitting his chest, now was rubbing his hands together. He learned to stand at parade rest so he could do so without the ever watchful eyes of his parents scolding him for it and he learnt to keep his face free of emotion as best as he could.

But today it was different. Today, his parents were the ones setting Alec off and making too much noise, in an office that was far to constricting and with 5 grown people in the room, Alec felt overstimulated by noise, smell and the heat of the fireplace. It didn’t help that they were discussing Magnus, the high warlock who they had gone to, in order to find Clary’s memories. The warlock who had taken in interest in Alec from the get go, who took the time to talk to him often, even going as far as to get his number from somewhere and message him occasionally.

The same man who Alec found himself constantly curious about. His past, his likes and dislikes, his role in the down world, his magic and his thoughts and feelings. Magnus was a constant source of confusion, contradiction and wonderment.

Izzy and Jace had pulled him into Pandemonium more than enough times recently, when he felt he could cope or wearing his glamoured ear defenders, that Alec had picked up little snippets of who Magnus was.

Alec knew that although he was the most powerful warlock in New York, maybe even in the country, his was kind and put his people first. And not just his people, but all innocent people. He worked around the clock giving free advice or services to those who couldn’t afford his prices. He knew that Magnus liked cats over dogs and tea over coffee, but a martini over both. He knew he was born in Indonesia but had travelled to every country on the globe; Sri Lanka being his favourite this century.

And he knew, above all else, that what his parents were saying, was wrong. Magnus never once questioned him about the clave or the institute. He never put ideas in his head, never got involved with clave business unless it directly affected him and never once made out he was better than any of the other downworlders, the clave and their Shadowhunter’s or even the mundanes. Everything his parents said, only told him they didn’t know Magnus like he did; like Magnus let him.

“Alec, stop that” his mothers voice forced him back to reality. He wasn’t sure how long he had zoned out for, only that he was now stood further away from them and closer to the door, and that his humming had increased in volume enough to stop the rant his parents were on.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at their faces, instead he let his eyes fixated on the desk, and the Newtons cradle that sat on the far side of it. It remained still and he desperately wanted to pull the ball on one side, just to watch it’s rhythmic swinging and listen to its sphere’s tapping together. He was still humming, albeit more quietly now.

“Alec, stop making that ridiculous noise and answer my question; what have you told Magnus Bane about the institute?” Maryse demanded, in a tone that left no room for argument.

Alec used all his strength to pull together one word, just to be able to reply and not get reprimanded for not complying. “Nothing” he whispered, the sound barely making it out of his mouth at all, as he watched the still stationary Newtons cradle.

“Alec, I can’t begin to tell you how irresponsible you have been in allowing this…this contact to continue knowing who and what he is. I expected better from you. You are meant to run this institute one day and how can we leave it in your hands if you’ll have those…demon offspring waltzing around the place!” Maryse said, as she sat down gracefully in the chair and pulled it toward the desk in front of her. The chair scraped along the floor, making Alec grind his teeth before his hearing his father tapping his finger on the bookcase beside him in the corner.

Every sound pounded into Alec’s ears louder and before he knew it, his feet were moving on their own. He vaguely remembered swinging the door behind him open and letting muscle memory take over as he ran to his bedroom. He had no idea if anyone was watching, following or shouting at him, only the sound of his own breathing could be heard.

He managed to get to his room without stopping, forced the door to open hard enough that it banged on his hinges into the wall behind it. He slammed it shut, took his stele and locked it. He knew from years of experience keeping his siblings out of his things, that the door would now only open to him, leaving him free to break down privately.

He heard the door handle jiggle as someone tried to follow him inside, and when his father’s fist connected with the door itself, Alec erupted.

Screaming wasn’t an adequate word for what left his mouth. More like a strangle cry of frustration and anger; at his parents for not understanding him, Magnus for confusing him, his siblings for getting him caught sneaking out in the first place, but mainly it was directed at himself. He was frustrated because he couldn’t, not matter how hard he tried, contain the crisis that was controlling him right now.

He walked to his dresser and cleared the surface of items onto the floor. His lamp hit the wooden floor and Alec vaguely registered the bulb smashing as the ornaments either hit the ground and smashed or rolled along the floor.

He grabbed his own hair, pulling at the strands as tears that he didn’t know had formed, ran down his cheeks. He slid down the wall, next to his dresser and brought his knees up to his chest and started to rock, as Jace’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Magnus POV

“Alec, can you let me in?” Magnus heard Alec’s brother call through a door as he rounded the corner in search for the Lightwood’s.

What he found as Alec’s siblings and parents crowded round the Shadowhunter’s bedroom door, with varying looks of anger from Maryse and Robert, and concern from Izzy and Jace. As four sets of eyes turned to him, it was Maryse who stepped forward with a glare and started to speak.

“You need to leave” was all she demanded, making Magnus’ eyebrows rise up in response.

“I just came by for my payment for fixing the wards…if now is a bad time...” he left his sentence hanging as Jace tried to use his stele to unlock Alec’s door. It didn’t work.

“Alec, please open the door” he said, in a much calmer tone than his face was portraying.

“Is something wrong with Alexander?” Magnus asked the siblings.

“It is none of your concern, warlock” Maryse said, taking another step forward.

“Alec shut himself in” Izzy told him, before taking out her own stele and attempting to use it on the door.

“Iz, if mine doesn’t work, yours won’t either” Jace huffed. “There’s no way in until he calms down enough to open it himself” he added before moving away from the door and sitting against the opposite wall, his sister following suit.

Magnus brows frowned at the locked door when he heard a cry from inside, almost painful in tone. As the Lightwood’s turned in unison towards the sound, Magnus used the opportunity to open a portal beside himself and step through, before Maryse or Robert could stop him.

What Magnus found was utterly heart-breaking.

Alec was sat between the dresser and the door, amongst the mess strewn out along the floor, rocking heavily against the wall behind him. He had his hands clamped in his hair and he was routinely letting his head hit the wall behind as he rocked.

“Oh, Alexander” Magnus practically sighed as he made to move closer.

He saw Alec flinch as his voice, knowing he hadn’t felt his presence and was surprised anyone had made it inside, and he heard Alec whimper as his eyes snapped open and looked in Magnus’ direction.

“May I come closer? I want to help you, Alexander” Magnus asked gently, watching Alec carefully.

He saw the other man nod slightly, so he took small, careful steps forwards, before crouching in front of the Shadowhunter. Alec’s eyes were firmly fixed onto Magnus’ necklaces, like they were prone to do Magnus had noticed, but he saw his fingers dig into his hair tighter.

“May I help you let go of your hair?” Magnus whispered softly. Alec made a noise that could be considered as yes, but Magnus wasn’t too sure. He didn’t want to irritate Alec by asking again, so he gently and slowly lifted his hands to place them over Alec’s.

Watching his face closely, he saw the younger mans eyes flutter shut gently as he started to hum, and Magnus loosened Alec’s own grip on his hair. And if Magnus was allowed to strike anyone down legally, it would be Robert Lightwood at this exact moment.

He heard Alec’s father thump his fist on the door, shouting at Alec to open up, causing Alec to throw his head back with so much force, Magnus was surprised he didn’t crack his own skull. “Alec!” Magnus said louder than intended, making Alec flinch again and try to hit his head again, but Magnus was faster as he anticipated the action.

He flung his hand behind Alec’s head to soften the blow and used his other to put a silence spell on the room, to finally drown out the people on the other side of the door. Alec, not being able to stim with his head, pushed Magnus with enough force to nearly push him over if he wasn’t cupping the back of the Shadowhunter’s skull.

“Alec, stop” he begged, using his free hand to start applying deep pressure to Alec’s skull, hoping it would help him calm down. Alec let out a sob but allowed the pressure on his head. Magnus was strong and his hands were firm but gentle as they massaged and pressed into him.

It took a while for Alec to relax enough that Magnus could move to a sitting position safely and for Alec to stop rubbing his hands together. Instead he had taken to fiddling with Magnus’ necklaces, particularly one that was able to be spun round. He was still humming and rocking gently, but it seemed to Magnus it was more for comfort now.

All the while, Magnus continued working on Alec’s head, going from deep pressure to a proper head massage. He could see Alec’s eyelids drop and open slowly, his muscles continue to relax and, much to Magnus’ delight, it made Alec moan deeply before the most delicious looking blush crept up his neck and cheeks.

If he wasn’t in this situation, Magnus would have kissed the younger man until he was breathless, but all he did was smirk slightly as Alec’s eyes found his. “Does it feel good?” Magnus asked him softly, receiving a hum of agreement.

“I’m sorry” Alec whispered, his eyes glassing over as they filled with tears. “I didn’t want you to see that – I didn’t – I don’t…” he stuttered, and it hit Magnus just how much Alec hid this part of himself.

If Magnus was being honest with himself, since meeting Alec, he had wondered if there was something different about him. He had noticed the lack of eye contact, the stimming, the lack of understanding social cues or relying on his sister to explain things to him and, more recently in Pandemonium, his glamoured headphones. But this experience confirmed his suspicions completely. Alec was autistic and, this part of him, the crisis, stimming – all of it, he was ashamed of and masked to the world.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Alexander. You are who you are, and I think you are wonderful” Magnus told him. Wanted him to know just how much he thought of the younger man. From the months of watching him, of understanding who he was and the responsibilities he held, to how hard he work for the institute, and how much he loved his family and how different he was to the other Shadowhunter’s around him.

Alec gave him his first smile since Magnus had stepped through the portal into his room, lopsided but genuine, as a single tear dripped down his cheek. On instinct, Magnus used his thumb to wipe it away, smiling back before letting his eyes, just for a second, drop to the other man’s lips. When they returned, he noticed Alec’s had made a similar movement.

With great difficulty, Magnus stood up and held a hand out to the man still on the floor. Once they were both on their feet, Alec looked around sheepishly at the mess, blinking his remaining tears away and scrunching his nose up. Magnus thought it was the most adorable thing his stoic, steadfast Shadowhunter had ever done, and with the wave of a hand, the unbroken objects were back in place, and the broken mess was somewhere in the local landfill.

“All better, Shadowhunter” Magnus said a big smile.

“Thank you” and Magnus wasn’t sure if it was for cleaning up or helping him through the meltdown, but he knew Alec meant it sincerely.

“My pleasure, Alexander” he replied. “I’m going to open a portal to my loft. You are welcome to join me if you want some quiet time. We can watch a movie, or you can cuddle Chairman Meow or read a book…or do nothing at all. Equally, you can stay here, and I can leave you in peace. Or we can face your family together…whatever you want” he offered.

“I – maybe I can – I’d like to – if its okay with you…” Alec took a deep breath before continuing “I’d like to cuddle your cat” then winced, making Magnus chuckle.

“I’m sure the feeling is mutual, Alexander” Magnus said, opening a portal in the middle of the room and holding his hand out for Alec to take, before leading him through it.

Chapter Text

Magnus POV

As soon as the portal closed behind them, Magnus pulled on his magic to lower the lights and close the curtains to his loft apartment. Not enough to douse them in darkness, but to make it comfortable, relaxing and ensure it wasn’t too bright for Alec’s already heightened sensory processing.

Magnus felt a small squeeze of thanks from Alec, whose hand was still in his own, before the younger man let it fall from Magnus’ grasp. He watched as Alec moved further into the room, towards the bookcases, eyes scanning over the many objects, books and pictures decorating it. He moved slowly, taking his time to take in all the finer details, running his fingers over frames and spines of books, as Magnus stood back, letting Alec discover more of Magnus’ history and life.

“I don’t know where Chairman Meow is, but I’m sure he’ll be along soon, when he realises, he isn’t alone” Magnus said softly, not wanting to disrupt the calming atmosphere. He received a small smile in return, and encouraged by Alec’s seemingly happy mood, he added “I’ll go to the kitchen and make some coffee, or tea perhaps, Hmm?”

Alec, who was focused on an old picture of Magnus in London, didn’t reply, so Magnus moved towards him; quiet, but not enough to go unnoticed. When he was stood next to him, he let his eyes scan the picture too, one of him standing in front of Big Ben.

“I was there before it was even an idea, during its construction and when it was finished” Magnus told him. “It still stands today, so whenever I am in London, I always stop by for a visit, just to check on it” he smiled at the memory.

“Why?” was all Alec asked, sounded slightly confused at why Magnus cared about a clock to much.

“When I went to London after it was built, I was in a bad place. Things…happened. I was struggling, with a lot in my life at the time, but I was stood looking at this clock when I realised that being immortal and having all the time in the world, meant that I could not only help individual people, but downworlders as a whole. My fight against evil would be ongoing and evermore. I was ongoing and evermore” Magnus replied.

Magnus could almost feel a sadness take over Alec at his words, so deciding it was better to change the conversation to a much more pleasant one, he asked again “coffee or tea, Shadowhunter?” with what he hoped was a charismatic smirk.

“Tea, please” Alec replied with a small smile of his own, before turning back to the picture of Magnus, looking like he found something new in within the frame. A feeling perhaps, or maybe an understanding.

“Okay, I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable, Alexander”.

“Why do you call me that?” Alec asked quietly, turning his body to face Magnus completely.

“What? Alexander?” Magnus asked back, and after getting a nod of confirmation he added “that’s your name, isn’t it?”

“No-one else calls me Alexander, except my parents when they are really angry with me” Alec mumbled low enough that Magnus almost didn’t hear him.

“I’m not like other people you’ve met, Alexander” Magnus threw him a wink before retreating to the kitchen to start the tea.

He could have used his magic to conjure the tea up instantly, but instead he decided to light the stove and place the kettle on top. Using the time it took, to make Alec a drink, Magnus made a phone call, to the one person he knew for certain would be worrying about the Shadowhunter right now.

Isabelle, as he knew she would, picked up on the second ring. Magnus could hear her shushing someone on the other end of the line before her voice spoke directly to him.

“Magnus? Is Alec, okay?” she asked, concern lacing her every word.

Magnus moved round the kitchen, so he could keep an eye on Alec to make sure he wasn’t within hearing distance, before humming affirmatively. “He’s fine, Isabelle. I just wanted to call to let you know I’ve taken him to the loft” he added, quietly as he could to not gain Alec’s attention.

The younger man was bent down, stroking a newly emerged Chairman Meow, who was weaving through Alec’s legs. Magnus could see a bright smile on his face, which was half turned away from him, and felt a smile on his own face at the sight.

“Oh, thank the angel! We’ve been sat out here for like 50 minutes!” she said as Magnus heard Jace’s voice in the background asking where Alec was. “Magnus’ loft, now shush! Does he need us, Magnus?” she added to him.

Magnus watched as Alec picked his cat up, walked to the couch and sat down, half reclined against the arm, with Chairman on his chest. Even from his kitchen he could hear the purring coming from his pet. Chairman was always friendly, but some people he just took to more – Magnus, Catarina and, so it seemed, Alec.

“No, he’s okay. He’s calmed down and is currently cuddling my cat…” Magnus told her, before moving to the kettle and pouring out the water into cups. “I’m going to keep him here for a few hours then portal him back” he said.

“Okay” was all he got in reply.

“Is everything okay your end?” he asked, assuming Isabelle understood his intentions behind the question, which she confirmed in her reply.

“Yeah, my parent’s left to go back to their office. They think he’s inside ignoring them or sleeping, which he usually does after wearing himself out from a crisis. I can keep them away from his room until he’s returned”.

“Thank you, Isabelle. I truly appreciate it”.

Magnus could hear Jace asking when Alec was coming home and Isabelle telling him to shut up, which made him smirk. She was feisty and could definitely hold her own amongst the men in the institute, and he had to admire her attitude.

“It’s okay, Magnus, just…look after him” she said after a pause, before hanging up. Magnus pocketed his phone, after putting it on silent and laid out biscuits, sugar, milk, and their cups on the tray before carrying it into the main room.

Alec was still stroking Chairman, who was curled up on the Shadowhunter, when Magnus set the tray down on the table before grabbing his remote. He sat next to the pair on the couch, before flicking his TV on and turning to Alec.

“What would you like to watch, Alexander?” he asked brightly.

“I don’t know…I don’t watch much TV” he replied, before using his hand to cover a yawn that escaped. Letting his gaze fall over Alec, Magnus could see he looked worn out. His hair was tussled, and he had bags forming under his eyes, but it didn’t take anything from his beauty, in fact, Magnus couldn’t help but feel, that seeing Alec vulnerable post-crisis, only made him more special. Or maybe he felt special because Alec allowed him to see this side of him.

He switched on Netflix and browsed the movies available, stopping every so often to ask Alec on his thoughts, explaining what movies were about, before moving down the rows. Eventually, he paused on one movie that got a positive reaction from the usually brooding male next to him.

“I know this one!” Alec said, sitting up suddenly. Chairman Meow flew off the couch, giving Alec a unsatisfied glare, before settling down onto an armchair instead.

“You’ve seen Lord of the Rings?” Magnus asked, surprise radiating off him in waves. Alec shrugged and his shoulder bumped Magnus’ the smallest amount; enough for Magnus to realise how close he was now he was upright.

“Well, no. I haven’t actually seen it…I’ve heard of it” Alec admitted, blushing as he did so. Magnus levelled him with an exasperated look before he added “I know it has a wizard in it, kinda like you, and there’s a ring and some big tower with an eyeball in it”.

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at Alec crude description of the movie, making Alec’s blush shine a little brighter. “Well, you’re not wrong…let’s put it on and I can educate you as we watch it” Magnus said, knowing full well that there was a sparkle in his eyes, full of mischief.

Suppressing another yawn, Alec remained in the middle of the couch, sat upright, as he lent forward and put a sugar block and milk into his tea. Magnus watched him sip the beverage, watching as his throat bobbed, before hitting play on the movie, conjuring a blanket from the basket in the corner that he was too lazy to walk too, and using his magic to swap tight, expensive navy bottoms and shirt for loose grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt.

He felt Alec’s gaze on him, burning his skin like a poker, but he refused to let his eyes be dragged sideways as the movie started. He had no idea what was going through Alec’s mind, but he knew his own was a jumbled mess and it was all to do with the Shadowhunter beside him.

Alec POV

Alec was startled awake a few hours later by some gentle shaking. His eyes flew open, searching around before slowly closing again. He was warm, comfortable and felt so incredibly safe, he was more than prepared to go back to sleep, until a quiet voice stopped him.

“Alexander, wake up” Magnus murmured softly.

“No” he mumbled, burying his face further into… “I’m sorry” he blurted out when he shot upwards and away from Magnus, whose chest he had fallen asleep on. He knew he probably looked like a deer caught in headlights as he heard Magnus’ soft chuckle, and he could feel the traitorous blush working its way up his cheeks. “Did I fall asleep?” he asked, even if he knew the answer. His embarrassment was obvious, and he saw Magnus shift next to him as he sat up from where he was reclined, but Alec refused to even look in his direction.

“You didn’t even see the Hobbit’s, leave The Shire” Magnus chuckled. “And you looked far to peaceful to wake” the warlock added. Alec let his eyes dart over to the TV to see the credits rolling, before they settled on the table in front of him and eyed the various amounts of take out boxes.

“You ordered Chinese?”

“You could say that I guess” Magnus said, with a smirk on his face as he fiddled with his ear cuff. He picked up the nearest container and offered it to Alec with an outstretched hand, “Chow Mein?”.

“Did you steal this food?” Alec spluttered, watching the small box like it would personally attack him.

“No!” Magnus said, letting his arm drop slightly. “I left money in the register! It can’t be stolen if it’s paid for” he added.

“I don’t think it works like that, Magnus” Alec replied, hesitantly taking the box from the older man and tucking into the delicious noodles.

“Well, it’s gone 9pm and I was hungry, and I had a very sleepy, very cute Shadowhunter holding me hostage” Magnus said, making Alec almost choke on the mouthful of noodles he was eating.

“What – I’m not – I wasn’t…” Alec winced. He wasn’t sure what it was about the warlock that sent his mind of in a spin with the simplest words, but since he had known Magnus, the older man held a power over him to make him equally confused, embarrassed and shy. He couldn’t be sure if Magnus was being playful or genuinely annoyed that Alec had fallen asleep on him. He felt like the warlock’s words were contradicting each other, by calling him cute then accusing him on holding him hostage.

“Relax, Alexander. I wasn’t complaining…feel free to lay on top of me whenever the mood strikes you” Magnus said with a very obvious wink. Okay, Alec could understand that. Izzy had told him that Magnus liked to wink at him because he thought Alec was attractive and that he was in a playful mood.

Alec had to remember to thank Izzy for her helpful explanations of other people’s emotions and actions. Without her, he would be completely lost.

“Okay” he said, letting a small smile grace his face. Somehow, during their discussion, Alec had found himself looking directly into Magnus’ eyes. Dark brown in colour; Alec felt like he could drown in them as he continued eating.

“So…” Magnus said after a few seconds of silent staring, as he turned back to the TV to turn it off using the remote. “How are you feeling, Shadowhunter?” he asked once the TV flicked off and the sounds of the end credit music died down.

Alec sighed heavily at the question, frustration in not being able to answer in a way Magnus was probably expecting and put the carton of noodles back onto the coffee table. His hands unconsciously started to rub against each other as he rolled the question over in his mind.

“I think – in a way – I feel…better?” he asked, more than stated. At Magnus’s arched eyebrow, he tried to explain further. “I haven’t felt so…not in control in so long. I think I’ve felt, like, I’m wound too tight and now I feel like…something snapped. Like I can breathe”.

Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, he took a deep breathe before turning to look at the warlock next to him.

“Thank you, Magnus” he said softly, when their eyes met.

“What for?”

“For this” he replied, eyes never leaving the older mans. “I couldn’t – didn’t know how to – I needed you and you were there. So, thank you” he explained, stilling his flapping hands as he tried to explain to Magnus how despite locking everyone out, he needed someone, anyone, to help him through it. Magnus was the only person who was capable of making it into the room, and seemed to know what Alec needed more than he knew himself.

“It was my unbridled pleasure, Alexander” Magnus smiled softly at him. It made Alec’s stomach flutter, as feeling he was definitely not used to, yet liked all the same. “Perhaps now would be a good time to say goodnight” Magnus almost whispered, he spoke so softly.

“Okay” was all he could reply, not knowing what else to say. He was under no illusion that he would be staying the night, nor did he want too when he was so confused by the man in front of him.

He watched as Magnus cleared the mess they had left, returned the blanket to its rightful place and stood, holding his hand out to help Alec up. Magnus walked them both away from the couches and closer to the balcony, before waving his hand and creating a portal directly into Alec’s bedroom.

Creasing his brow, a thought struck Alec. Not one to filter himself very easily, he blurted out “You’re not supposed to be able to portal into the institute!” before dropping his gaze to their still joined hands. Magnus grasped it a little tighter before replying, with what Alec was sure was a beautiful smirk on his face.

“No-one else can, but seeing as they are my wards, I put in a little fail-safe”.

“That’s against the Clave rules, Magnus” Alec said, shocked at Magnus’ nonchalant tone.

“I never was one for the rules, Alexander” Magnus winked as he led Alec towards the portal. “Send me a message if you need me, I’m free all night” he said as he let go of Alec’s hand, but Alec didn’t move.

He didn’t know how to end the conversation, what he should or shouldn’t do with the man he spent half of his evening asleep on. The man who didn’t judge him, didn’t abandon him mid-crisis. The man who protected him and gave him what he needed, when he needed it. So, he stepped forward, quickly, and pressed a kiss to the older man’s cheek.

Alec bolted for the portal, without looking back at Magnus. He wasn’t sure what he would find if he did, and the few seconds of confidence he had quickly abated, leaving him feeling more embarrassed and confused.

He felt the portal close behind him, leaving him inside his bedroom at the institute. Alec had never realised how cold and barren it felt, but the stark contrast to Magnus’ warm and comforting loft was obvious.

The silencing ward had long evaporated, probably once they had left for the loft, so Alec could hear fellow Shadowhunter’s moving along the corridors, talking and laughing. Yet he had never felt so alone in a place surrounded by his own people. He craved the comfortable couch, with Chairman’s warm presence on his chest.

With a sigh, Alec pulled his clothes off and moved towards his bed. Sinking into the sheets, he let his mind wander over the events of the evening, purposely ignoring his parent’s involvement, but smiling at the memory of waking up and feeling so utterly safe with Magnus.

His parents were definitely wrong about the warlock.

Chapter Text

Magnus POV

Magnus closed his bedroom door quietly, leaving the sleeping Shadowhunter to his rest, before tiptoeing down the corridor to where Jace was silently moving around the room. He hadn’t expected to see Alec tonight, especially laying on a dirty alleyway floor, covered in demon ichor, bleeding from a stab wound to the stomach.

Jace’s fire message came as he was completing a few potions for his personal collection, luckily, as one was needed to help Alec repel the developing infection of the ichor. Magnus had made a portal immediately, to help Jace bring him to the loft for treatment, while Izzy returned to the institute with their team, to update Clary.

Alec had been in and out of consciousness the whole time, mumbling and whimpering in pain, which hurt parts of Magnus that he thought were long buried.

He had always been a good friend, a caring person, but there were parts of himself he kept locked away to protect himself after centuries of heartbreak and disappointment.

Jace had been worried sick. Feeling the pain through their shared bond had made him fidgety and snappy, demanding Magnus work faster. So, Magnus threw him out of the bedroom, so he could work in peace. He knew Jace was mad at him for that, but healing Alec was his main priority at the time.

Seeing him now, holding a book from his coffee table, pacing the room, while he waits to hear his brother’s fate, Magnus felt a twinge of guilt at ordering him out of the bedroom.

“He’s going to be okay” he says as he moves toward the drinks cart to pour himself a whiskey. He raises the glass towards Jace as he sees him drop the book down, slump in the armchair in front of the window, finally able to relax.

Jace shakes his head slightly to decline, as he closes his eyes and leans back, letting his head hit the back of the chair. Under his lights, with the glittering glow of New York behind him, Magnus can see how this man has the reputation that he has amongst so many female Downworlders. Beauty is a thing Magnus knows well, in all beings, but he couldn’t yet be sure is Jace had as much of it inside as he did outside.

“You worry about him a lot” Magnus says softly, as he sits down on the couch, relaxing into the corner. Resting his arm on the side, drink in hand, he stares at the Shadowhunter opposite him. Jace’s eyes open and find his own, before he frowns deeply.

“Of course, I do! He’s my brother, my best friend. My Parabati… he’s a part of me like no-one else can be” Jace replies.

Magnus watches as Jace shifts forwards, leaning his arms on his legs, and rubs his faces with his hands. He too, has Ichor on him, mixed with sweat and blood.

“What happened tonight?” Magnus asks. He had seen Alec a lot in the weeks following the movie night they had shared, and a few times he had arrived after a hunt, he had been dirty enough that Magnus had magically cleaned him up, but he had never seen the aftermath this bad.

Magnus waved a hand, cleaning most of the mess on the young Shadowhunter, receiving a small half-smile in thanks before Jace explained.

“We got called out on a mission. Demon activity near an abandoned construction site. We followed a trial of Ichor until we got to the alleyway, but it just stopped…there was nothing there. It was quiet, too quiet. Then out of nowhere, there was an explosion to the right, and at least 15 demons came swarming out of the building. They took us by surprise. We had 6 Shadowhunter’s” Jace gently shock his head, trying to make sense of how they were ambushed.

Magnus took a sip of his drink as he waited for Jace to continue.

“Alec…he froze. At the explosion. Usually, being on a hunt, being in charge of a team…it grounds him. Focuses him. But he froze. Izzy managed to get him out of the way, but he was already falling into a crisis before… he dropped his blade and one of the demons must have noticed, because before we got to him, they’d stabbed him. Raj took it down, but we still had so many to get. As soon as the last one was executed, I sent you the fire message” Jace said, meeting his eyes once again.

Magnus let out a small sigh, before downing the rest of his drink and placing the glass onto his table.

“It sounds as though Alexander experienced a sensory overload. You said it was quiet before the explosion?” at Jace’s nod, he continued. “He went from a completely quiet environment, to having all of his senses overloaded in a single moment… it’s a lot” he justified.

“Alec…he’s different. It’s hard to explain…”

“It’s not hard at all, Jace. I know that Alec is autistic. I know he hides that part of himself from the world, but he doesn’t hide it from me. I won’t judge him for it” Magus assured the Shadowhunter softly.

“He’s special, Magnus. Sensitive and kind. Others? They think he’s tough, unsocial and rude but he isn’t, he just see’s the world differently” Jace say’s and Magnus swears he can see unshed tears in his eyes. “I know other’s see him as a liability, but he is the best Shadowhunter I know. He values honesty and want’s people to be upfront. He work’s hard and fights every day to be taken seriously. I’m proud to have him as my Parabati…”

“But?” Magnus asks, holding in a breath.

“I’m worried about what’s going to happen to him, after tonight.” Magnus watches as Jace shifts uncomfortably before speaking again. “Our parents… well you’ve seen how they treat him. They don’t think he has what it takes to run the Institute, but he has worked his whole life to do just that. I’m worried that between freezing tonight, and getting more caught up in the Down world -”

“With me, you mean?” Magnus says as he focus’s his attention on his hand that’s resting on the side of his couch.

“It hasn’t gone unnoticed that he’s been here a lot. Our parents are keeping a close eye on him. They are worried that you…” the Shadowhunter trails off into silence, leaving Magnus to finish his sentence.

“Will lead him astray. Against The Clave, into sin and other nasty, horrible things.” Magnus almost spits out, anger taking over his usually calm façade. Trust Maryse and Robert Lightwood to find faults where they weren’t any. With him, or Alec.

“What I’m saying is…” Jace sighs, straightens his back and looks Magnus in the eye, preparing for words that were surely hard to get out. “I think you’re good for Alec, and I don’t want my parents to get in the way of whatever is going on here. Between you both, that is”.

“Excuse me?” Magnus says as his eyebrow shoot into his forehead. This was definitely not what he expected Alec’s Parabati to say.

“I may be pretty selfish and arrogant at times” Jace graciously ignores the scoff coming from Magnus at that observation. “But I know my brother. And I’m not an idiot. I can feel, literally, the way he’s more content, relaxed and happy when he’s here. I can see the excitement when he knows we’re coming to see you. It’s all in his eyes. And I’m pretty sure you feel the same.”

“You think you know anything about me, Shadowhunter?” Magnus asks, partly to throw Jace of his scent, and partly because he wants to know just how much the Wayland boy has him figured out already.

“I know you came in less than a minute when I told you he was hurt, and that this book…” he picks up the previously discarded book from the coffee table: The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin. “…you got it to understand him better, so you can help him. I know he comes here to avoid going into a crisis. He says it’s because of your cat, but it’s really because you make sure he’s safe and his needs are met.”

Magnus watches as the book is placed gently on the table. There is an irritation running through him that Jace was able to read him so well, but his dominating emotion was relief that the younger man knew that Magnus would never harm someone he cared so deeply for.

“Does it bother you?” Magnus hedged the question, curious on where the Shadowhunter’s beliefs lay, when his brother is the centre of the discussion.

“That you’re a Downworlder? No! I mean, I’m hardly one to talk, am I?” Jace smirks for the first time that evening at him. Magnus watches him with interest and pride streaks through his heart, knowing that perhaps Jace’s insides are as beautiful as his outsides after all, if that’s what he thought Magnus was talking about.

“No. I meant that I’m a man” he says, watches Jace’s facial expression sober and body stiffen slightly. He waits patiently for the blonde to consider his words.

“It doesn’t bother me, but Alec hasn’t actually come out…to any of us. Izzy, Clary and I guessed but we were waiting for him to come to us” Jace says.

“Maybe he’s worried about things changing” Magnus replies.

“Maybe… things will be different when he does. IF he does. The Clave looks down on… all of that kind of stuff, and our parents will hit the roof. If he does do it, will you stand by him?” Jace asks him, a look of worry in his eyes for his older brother.

“I will stand beside him, whenever he wants me too. I am not going to let him face treacherous waters alone, Jace. As much as I hate to inflate your ego, your assumptions about my feelings were accurate, I care very deeply for your brother” Magnus says as he watches Jace stand and follows suit.

“I should…uh…go” Jace says. “Alec’s in good hands tonight and I’m gonna have to keep Maryse and Robert off your scent” he smirks for the second time and Magnus can’t help but wonder if Jace is enjoying rebelling against his adoptive parents.

“I appreciate that” Magnus replies with a smile as he guides him to the door and opens it manually. He’d used a lot of his magic healing Alec, and although he wasn’t exactly short on it, he didn’t want to deplete it more than necessary.

“Tell Alec to message when he’s up and I’ll fill him in on the updates” Jace says as he steps through to the hallway. With a quick nod and goodbye, he was gone.

Alec’s POV

Alec walked down the corridor towards the main room on the spacious loft that Magnus called home. He couldn’t quite remember how he got here, but he remembered the demon attack, being stabbed and he thinks he remembers a portal opening. Well, he must have, as it would explain waking up in Magnus’s large comfy bed, in soft joggers and tee, curled under softer blankets.

Despite how cosy he was, he wanted to see where the warlock had gotten too, to make sure everyone else was okay.

He found Magnus laying on the couch, with a blanket draped over his body, peacefully sleeping. Alec didn’t want to wake him, but he didn’t want to go back to Magnus’ bed while the warlock slept here. And he looked so relaxed, and cuddly.

Before he could even rationally think his decision through, Alec climbed on top of Magnus, leaning his head on the warlock’s chest and settled into the gap between back of the couch and the man he inevitably felt his feelings growing for.

Magnus shifted, cracked his eyes open and smiled at him when he saw what he had done. “Why did you join me?” he croaked, his voice deep with sleep. The sound sent a pleasant feeling skittering down Alec’s back, as he looked up.

“You told me I could lay on you whenever the mood struck me. It did.”

He felt Magnus’ body rumble as he chuckled and the next thing he knew, Magnus snapped his fingers, and he was once again curled under the soft blanket that had been beneath him. Settling down once more, he felt Magnus tighten his grip, before they were both lulled to sleep once more.