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“kau ade awek ke, fakhri?”
the latter spat out his drink, not being able to comprehend the question that came out of his friend’s mouth. he apologised afterwards; wiping the mess off the table with an available cloth. fakhri shot his friend a glare, still embarrassed about the fiasco. “mana ade, merepek pulak kau.”
his friend laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of their head. “takde la, aku selalu nampak kau pakai getah rambut. orang kata tu tanda-tanda ada makwe.” they explained, making fakhri’s forehead wrinkled from confusion. the latter frowned and thought to himself, that was the stupidest thing he’s ever heard in his life.
fakhri rolled his eyes and tapped his wrist, showing off the hair tie. “ini untuk emergency ya, takde masa aku nak ade awek.” it made him wonder, how does having a spare hair tie correlate to having a girlfriend? it doesn’t make sense in fakhri’s mind.
his friend let out a low chuckle and briefly apologised for assuming, even though it wasn’t such a big deal. they both laughed it off and continued on with their conversation. it’s currently semester break, and fakhri decided to chill around in his local 7E. most students already went back home; who would want to spend their break in the campus dorm anyways, right? well, it’s a different case for fakhri.
after a while, his friend bid him goodbye and left, leaving him alone. fakhri sat back and pondered, playing with the hair tie on his wrist. he missed a certain someone, and they haven’t been able to make time for each other. he promised not to whine or complain; it would prove that fakhri is the clingy one in the relationship and he hates that.
he hates losing to kahar.
the elder teased him about it before. how fakhri seemed to be so codependent with the people he cared for, how he craved attention constantly, how he tried to act so tough but deep inside he’s just a major crybaby, how fakhri’s love for kahar is actually his biggest weakness.
fakhri hates how true they are.
he stared at his wrist for a few minutes, questioning everything. ever since his date with kahar last month, the elder seems to be getting busier. usually, they would call each other or at least send a simple text, but now, kahar’s phone can't even be reached at times. even sending emails won’t get any reply from the elder. it pisses fakhri off, a lot.
he sighed and took a sip of his now cold coffee, letting the bitterness seep through his taste buds, calming him down from overthinking. surely, kahar is busy. he’s a full grown man with responsibilities. unimportant things like fakhri don’t matter to him, right? why would he even care for something so trivial like a college student?
fakhri clenched his jaw, he pinched the bridge off his nose stressfully. he promised to himself to catch a good break, yet why is something so easy so hard to achieve? fakhri sighed again and rested his head on the table. he couldn’t care less if the people outside could see him looking all miserable. he’s a college student, they’d definitely understand.
the buzzer sounded, signalling that another customer stepped in the store. fakhri didn’t bother lifting his head, he continued to sulk by himself. he heard the footsteps come closer and stopped dead beside him. the person cleared their throat and fakhri wondered if they thought he was taking their seat. this is a convenience store, you don’t get to assign seats!
the person tapped his shoulder, and fakhri harshly wiped it away. trying to seem intimidating, he kept his head on the table, eyebrows furrowed. call it immature, but fakhri’s not in the right mood to deal with people.
“amboi, garang betul. marah aku ke?”
he shot his head to face the person immediately, almost getting whiplash from the speed. his mouth was agape from shock. kahar’s lips curved to a shitty grin and pulled fakhri’s head in his embrace. he let the latter near his chest, hearing his heartbeat.
“huh, kau–” the younger stuttered, not being able to justify the one standing in front of him right now. fakhri returned the hug hesitantly. he was afraid if his mind was fucking with him. but no, it’s real.
the kahar in front of him is real. it’s his boyfriend. his boyfriend.
“alololo, rindu aku eh, sayang.” the elder cooed, stroking fakhri’s hair lovingly. he cried out and nudged himself closer in kahar’s arms; he missed everything. he missed the elder’s scent, he missed entangling his fingers in between the latter’s soft curly locks, he missed kissing the beauty mark on kahar’s face, he missed kahar.
“rindu la, sial. babi ape kau hilang macam tu je.”
fakhri cursed out and pulled away from the hug, hands now crossed to his chest. his lips are pouting, tips of his ears flushed pink. kahar scratched his non itchy cheek and took a seat on the vacant chair next to the younger. he held fakhri’s shoulders and turned them to face him. he gave him an apologetic smile, “sorry, fakhri. aku memang takde niat pun nak ghost kau,” kahar opened up, hands sliding down from the younger’s shoulders to his hands.
“sumpah aku betul-betul busy. aku janji tak buat macam ni lagi dah, betul.” the elder added, voice sincere. he held the latter’s hands tightly, thumbs caressing his knuckles lightly. it made his heart dropped seeing fakhri in such a state. yes, kahar admitted how he hasn’t been making any time for fakhri, but what could he do? his father came back to annoy him and kahar had to do something to please that old man.
he had to cut off his connection for a month, trying to prove that he’s just as capable as his brothers. he managed to succeed, making the old man turn around to give him a blind eye, again. kahar took the opportunity to run away, which then led him here, in the convenience store, with his secret lover. his boyfriend.
he watched as fakhri’s tense features soften, fingers now entwining with his. he puckered his lips and turned to face the elder fully. “janji, eh?” kahar laughed softly upon seeing the reaction. he knew words wouldn’t be enough to make up the guilt he’s feeling towards leaving the latter dead in the cold for a month, so he’s made sure to prove it with actions next time.
fakhri eyes glistened when he saw kahar nod, his bummed out heart from before finally started beeping again. he was ecstatic. he giggled and flashed the elder a cheeky smile, both hands now placed on kahar’s thighs possessively. he gave them a light squeeze, happy to have the other back under his touch.
then, the sound of stomach growling made them freeze in their spots. kahar cleared his throat again and covered his tummy, avoiding the younger’s gaze. fakhri shot him a glare, “engkau tak makan lagi, kan? pergi makan sekarang,” he nagged, face clearly annoyed.
his lover let out a sheepish laugh before going his way to get a few snacks and a bowl of instant noodles. fakhri eyed the latter as he paid for them and waited for his noodles to cook, eyes trailing every movement made. he thought to himself to grab a couple boxes of condoms afterwards. hey, a man gotta do what a man gotta do.
kahar came back after a while, eager to devour his meal clean. fakhri interrupted him before he could eat up, placing a napkin under the hem of his shirt, not wanting the noodles to accidentally mess up the elder’s outfit. he decided to watch his boyfriend eat, elbows propped on the table with his head resting on his hand. from afar, you could see love oozing out from his eyes, and it’s only directed to one person only.
the elder made a satisfied smile after tasting the noodle’s broth, liking the way it warms his throat. he tried engulfing the noodles, but his hair kept getting in the way. he pushed them back several times, only for it to fall back in front, ruining his meal. kahar cussed out quietly and chose to use one hand to hold his hair. he heard a stifled laugh next to him, face now irritated. “meh la sini, haih.”
fakhri laughed again and urged kahar to come closer. the latter obliged, and let the younger have his ways. fakhri combed through his hair properly, he brushed them neatly with his fingers and took the spare hair tie from his wrist to tie the other’s hair back to a low ponytail. kahar liked the way fakhri handled his hair; the other’s long and slender fingers tickled his neck playfully, instantly painting the nape pink.
kahar’s hair is now tied and he could finally eat properly. the both of them continue on chatting, mostly about what has happened to kahar in the past month. fakhri nodded his head at every word the elder said, seemingly worried. words couldn’t express how much he despised the other’s father; he’s never seen someone so devious before.
“so, sekarang ni aku pilih untuk stay low kejap.” kahar finished off, slurping his bowl empty. he searched for a napkin to wipe his lips, only for the younger to wipe them off for him. he continued on ranting as fakhri tidied him up. “dia kalau tak menyusahkan aku, tak sah.”
the latter agreed wholeheartedly, tossing the napkin aside and went back to style kahar’s locks. he tucked a few stray strands of hair into the back of the elder’s ear, making sure it looks good. “kau stay dengan aku je la.” fakhri added, fingers now stroking kahar’s ear admiringly. he waited for the answer to come out of the latter’s mouth.
kahar chuckled and snaked his index finger to twirl fakhri’s necklace in a provoking manner, lips now grinning. “aih, cepat betul buat decision.” he pinched the beads of the necklace and pushed the younger one away gently, crossing his legs. fakhri sneered jokingly to reiterate before standing up, preparing to initiate his plan.
“fakhri budak gatal.”
“eh, macam tak biasa.”