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“So, you want to join my growing business?” The chipper voice echoes in the relatively empty diner at Peppino’s Pizza. Hands folded over the table as a half eaten pizza sits between the owner of the establishment, and Pizza Boy, posterface for the entire Pizza Market franchise.
Peppino can only level a deadpan glare at the chipper businessman across from him. “No, I don’t want to join your sham of a ‘Pizza’ shop,” he continues, having turned Pizza Boy down three times now. He even holds his hands up and does “air quotes” when mentioning the word pizza.
“At all?”
“At all.”
Peppino folds his arms over his chest. He’s getting more and more irritated at the man across from him trying to buy him out and add his name to some corporate empire Peppino doesn’t agree with in the slightest. Pizza Boy leans back in his seat, his constant smile and rosy cheeks not faltering for a second as Peppino once again turns down his advances on the small business.
“Look, Peppy,” Pizza Boy smiles even wider than early, trying to hold a friendly disposition. “Can I call you Peppy?”
“No.”
“Come on, now. We both know your customer base has been lacking in recent years. This could be the boost Peppino’s Pizza needs to put it in the limelight! Customers far and wide will come to you for your work, we can open new locations in bigger cities, you’ll be rolling in dough! Not just pizza dough, you know!” Pizza Boy again pitches, trying to wrap his arm around Peppino from across the table.
Peppino snarls and spits in Pizza Boy’s face.
“I want-a nothing to do with your cheap tactics,” Peppino huffs as he gets up from the table. “Peppino’s Pizza makes real, authentic pies with recipes passed down from generations, not your cookie cutter factory crap you like to call-a “pizza.” So take your grinning mug and get-a out of my shop!”
“Now Peppy-”
“I said GET-A OUT OF MY SHOP, ya lazy, old sellout!”
Peppino makes his point clear by giving Pizza Boy the boot, kicking him quite literally out of his shop and locking up behind him. Peppino then flips the sign on the door to “Closed” and walks back toward the kitchen to flip the lights off.
“Fine! Be that way!” Pizza Boy snarls, pulling himself out of the ground and shaking his fist in Peppino’s general direction. “When Pizza Mart takes over this middle of nowhere town, I’ll be back to buy your washed out old shop for pennies when you’re begging me to save your sorry ass!”
Pizza Boy grumbles under his breath before taking a moment to plaster his constant smile back on his face. He’s a professional after all, and he needs to take his branding very seriously. That Peppino guy was gonna pay for kicking him out again, oh yes he would. But for now, a good businessman makes good on his word. He’d wash out every other establishment thinking they can compete with him one way or another, and that included Peppy’s worthless shack.
With that thought, he storms off to go plot out a way to get back at that grubby little chef. Spit in the face of his offer will he? He’s going to regret that.
*Smack!*
Pizza Boy’s huffing and stomping he was disguising with his very professional mannerisms is interrupted when he walks into the side of a cliff. He should really watch where he’s going, sure, but glaring daggers at that eyesore of a pizzeria seems to have taken his attention for the moment. He stumbles back a bit, looking up at the cliff face that had met the side of his head a moment ago.
Resting atop the cliff as a tall, imposing tower. It’s stacked to the top with the same drab, grayish-purple bricks and seems to have this dangerous aura about it. The top of said tower also seems to overlook that same drab pizza shack Pizza Boy just got kicked out of. Something in his head seems to click, and his strained grin seems to grow a bit more devious as the proverbial light bulb goes off in his head.
He finds a grassy pathway that leads up the side of the cliff to the entrance of the tower, taking a few hard knocks on the front door.
There’s no answer.
Pizza Boy knocks again after a few moments of silence from inside. “Helloooo! Pizza Mart delivery service! Our motto is that It’s Always Pizza Time!”
Still nothing.
Now, any normal man would turn around and leave the creepy tower out in the middle of nowhere alone. Pizza Boy still had spit dripping down his face and his blue overalls had been caked with mud after the asshole across the way had kicked him out. Though, Pizza Boy was still stewing about how infuriating today had been, and using this tower as a vantage point would give him a perfect angle for revenge against his portly competition. He’d pay top dollar to buy this spot from whoever owns the tower just to get back at that guy.
He’d turn this place into the perfect factory to engineer his revenge. A tower full of automatic pizza making machines that would wash his competition away, and that fool Peppino would get wiped off the map before he could even come begging to Pizza Boy and his franchise for help. Yes, the gears were turning now-
*RRRRRUUUMBLE*
Pizza Boy looks up from his machinations to see the front door of the tower opening up before him. The smell of dust and rotting wood hits his nose, and no one is at the front door to greet him. Guess the door sort of just… opened on its own?
Taking a few quiet steps into the entrance hall, Pizza head looks around the musty and stale foyer. “Helloooooo, anyone home?”
*SLAM!*
The door shuts behind him, causing him to jump.
Well, that’s not foreboding at all.
Pizza Boy takes a few more steps into the foyer, a flurry of rats and frogs that have been inhabiting the dusty tower for who knows how long fleeing in the opposite direction from him with a flurry of scutting, squeaking and croaking.
So, it’s a little run down. Nothing a good cleanup crew can’t fix up! With the right people, he can whip this place into the new Pizza Boy Headquarters and run that chump right out of business! He’d blow that guy to smithereens, and get someone new to replace him, someone even more obedient than that stuck up sucker! And he’d laugh in the face of that guy the whole time.
The spit on his face is starting to get really irritating though, so he wipes the drippy feeling off his face, leaving a nearby frog to croak in surprise when it gets splashed with the stuff. Guess Pizza Boy should find if this place has a working shower too, yuck.
“Ya should probably leave while ya can.”
Pizza Head jumps, only to see one of the bricks from the tower sitting on the gaudy, green couch eating a sandwich. Where did that come from? And why is it alive?
…semantics.
“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was home,” Pizza Boy grins. He wipes his face again, he thought he got all of that stupid, drippy spit off of it.
“I just work here, pal,” the talking piece of concrete replies again. “And like I said, get out while you still can. This tower does things to folks like you, things you’re not gonna like if you stick around and find out.”
“You work here, do you?” Pizza Boy tilts his head. “Mind if I talk to your manager? I’d love to strike a little deal with him regarding this tower…”
“John ain’t much of a talker, for one thing,” the… thing, takes another bite of his sandwich. “Another is that you’re going to regret staying here longer than an hour. If I were you, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this place.”
“Oh I’m sure a bit of cleaning up will make this lovely tower right as rain again!” The chipper Pizza Boy adds. He wipes his face again, seriously does he need to get a towel or something? “I’d be more than willing to help with that. I own a fairly successful restaurant chain and would love to liven things up here in exchange to rent some space out for one of my franchisees.”
“Wouldn’t use “lovely” as a word to describe this place,” the slab of rock mutters into his lunch. “But, it’s not like I can stop ya from doing what ya want with this place.”
“Goodie!” Pizza Boy claps his hands together. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind taking me to see your manager, we can work out how much of the tower I’ll be renting from now on and how much rent I’ll need for this guy while we clean house.”
“Tower’s not for sale,” the pink thing says.
“I beg your pardon?” Pizza Boy asks, not wanting to get the boot twice in one day.
“Trust me pal, if you’re intent on staying here, you practically already own it.”
“And your manager is okay with just giving this place up?” Pizza Boy asks, his more business oriented mind not really comprehending the deal with just being handed free property. Sounds like a scam.
“John doesn’t own this place. But judging by the look on your face, it looks like the Tower’s already chosen you. No going back now, too late.”
Pizza Head wipes another glob of something dripping off his face, only to pull his hand away and find melted cheese. He stares at it for a moment, before finding himself chuckling. The Tower had already chosen him, huh? Guess this hunk of rock has it out for the eyesore across the way just as much as he does!
He’s gonna work this place from the ground up, rebuild, rebrand, the whole nine yards! He’ll get the TV on it, run promotions, hire a designer and cleaning crew… and the rodents and pests around would make great test subjects to some of the more devious ideas running through his head right now.
This entire tower was going to be his pizza-themed wonderland, and every scrap of competition will pale in comparison to his new and improved Pizza Tower. Peppino especially, he’s got the perfect punishment in mind for him. His laughing at this point has risen to an all-out cackling as the entire tower rumbles and shakes as its reoriented from the inside, walls and floors twisting to fit the vengeful thoughts of its new master.
“Well…” Gerome mutters to himself, watching the tower’s demented new master mutate into a pale imitation of the cardboard cutouts that began to pop up around the tower. “Here we go again.”
The tower always does this kind of thing to people like that wacko, after all.