Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tsuna has always known what love is. What being loved is. He's seen it from his mother to his father all his life, and from his father to his mother too the rare times he's at home, for all it looks at first glance like he doesn't put nearly the same efforts in it.

He's seen it from his mother to him too, though he doesn't always add it to the list. He tries not to hold it against her too often or too harshly. For all she has her flaws, for all she failed him and keeps failing him at times, Tsuna isn't a perfect son himself, he knows. Everyone does. His mother tries, always did, is well-meaning and loving even when she fails and it hurts and scars him, but before Reborn came in his life and everyone after him, it was more than he could say about anyone else in his life.

So Tsuna's seen all his life what love is. The blinding, unconditional kind of love too. The loyal and devoted kind. He's seen what being loved with that kind of love looks like.

Tsuna never dreamed of being on the receiving end of that kind of love. He's desperately begged for it for as long as he can remember, but just to be loved at all, by someone else who wouldn't owe it to him like his parents do. Nothing ever came close to even hint he was allowed to hope or ask for anything more.

They sit in his living room, whatever mafia-related purpose Reborn gathered them to talk about long forgotten for the usual loud chaos, more or less friendly. Gokudera's shouting, Ryohei bickering while Yamamoto's teasing. Hibari's losing his patience by the second, his words much sharper and meaner than the rest of them, only making the conversation escalates, and Mukuro is of course happy to help on that matter. Lambo tries to be the loudest in the room, trying to talk to and answer to everyone at the same time, while Chrome distracts him here and there the time for him to breathe, keeping an eye on the boys, and ready to put distance between them and Lambo should they become too rowdy.

They look at home like that, spread and lounging in his living room, unapologetic of the ruckus they're making and the one they're sure to leave behind them once they leave. They look and make themselves at home for no other reason than they're in Tsuna's home, for no other reason than Tsuna's presence there with them, for all they seem to have forgotten all about him.

It's strange how Tsuna's so certain of their love for him. They'd lay their lives down for him in a heartbeat, he knows it deep in his bones. Maybe they'd even lay their lives down for him for no other reason than Tsuna asking them to, even if it wasn't needed of them.

They feel at home because Tsuna make wherever they are with him home.

It feels... powerful. Makes him feel powerful. He doesn't know if it should feel like that, but he isn't surprised by it.

Love, both its presence and absence, is a weapon. Can be a weapon, at the very least.

Maybe not all of them are aware of it, but Tsuna would know.

"Guys," he says when their words turn too unfriendly, "don't fight."

They don't spare him so much as a glance, and he might as well not have said anything at all.

At times like this Tsuna can't help but wonder just who it is they think they're so willing and ready to lay their lives down for. Because surely it can't be him when they never seem to have any trouble dismissing him so easily? It's not the first time they dismiss him either, him or his words, or his wants and wishes. His needs.

"Hayato." He feels a bit bad singling him out of all of them, putting the blame on him in turn. Gokudera is the one who starts it the most often, but the others are all always but too willing and happy to rile him up further until it gets out of hands.

The room goes dead silent, all attention turning on him. It stays dead silent, all of them still and unblinking, waiting for his next move, his next words. Gokudera might not be breathing anymore either, his eyes wide, his mouth parted open.

At times like this Tsuna feels guilty for ever doubting they know exactly what they're doing loving him, and know exactly who it is they're loving.

He doesn't think his voice sounded any different from before though. Maybe a little louder, steadier. Maybe more assured than before, confident in the love they have for him.

Maybe it's what happens when he lets that confidence slip in his voice.

How puzzling it is whenever he realizes it's a fact acknowledged by all of them. That they're content to let it be, to let it happen. To prove and reassert over and over again whenever they can it is a fact and the truth.

When did Tsuna ever earn it from them?

It should be an obvious answer, if not necessarily a simple one.

Gokudera and Yamamoto are the easiest. Tsuna saved their lives, and he could have hardly done anything more for them.

Mukuro is easy enough too, for all he wouldn't know how to begin to put it in words, let alone in an understandable manner. But they're so similar he and him whenever he lets them be, or when he has no other choice but to let them be, lying unconscious on the floor while Joshima tells him about a boy seen and treated as a tool, and broken down to be build again into a monster.

Chrome and Hibari would be the hardest to tell, and yet all of them have yet to say anything, have yet to move a muscle or shift their attention from him all the same.

Reborn clicks his tongue. "A boss shouldn't have to intervene in every single petty squabble of his Guardians."

Tsuna has long mastered the art of ignoring such remarks from him. They're always his friends before they're ever his Guardians, and he always does his best to make them treat him as a simple friend in turn instead of as their Boss. This time though, he purses his lips, tensing, and hunching his shoulders over himself.

The atmosphere in the room shifts again, almost imperceptibly. The others shift cold eyes on Reborn, warning eyes, inclining their bodies ever so slightly to face Reborn but show him his back. Protective of him. Defensive of him.

Taking his side.

Tsuna's head spins. It seems he doesn't even have to say anything at all.

Do they know? Do they really realize just how much power over them they're willingly putting in his hands?

Reborn and him keep looking at each other a beat too long before he looks away, guilt-free. Maybe because Reborn will praise him for it if he chooses to bring it up at all, or maybe because whatever he feels about it doesn't matter.

They're on his side after all, aren't they?

"Come here, Hayato."

Gokudera usually never leaves his side unless Tsuna asks him to or the situation requires for it, but when it's all of them together like this, he willingly strays away from him, though never too far.

Do the others realize it's him acknowledging them, showing his trust in them? That it's him relaxing because he knows he can with all of them there to keep watch too? To watch over him too?

Gokudera is only bad at showing he cares when you expect him to show it like everyone else does.

Gokudera comes easily, standing without a word, entirely uncaring of the heated fight he was in he leaves behind. He stands in front of him, and waits.

It's something they all do to some extent, waiting on him, waiting for him. Picking up on his cues, voiced and unspoken, purposeful and subconscious; reading his body language and the expressions on his face, listening to the intonations of his voice; and only then acting accordingly. It's something Tsuna always absentmindedly realized they did, but never took the time to sit with just what it meant it's something they do.

For all they know how to dismiss him all too easily at times, at the same time no one else but them make it their first priority to be so hyper aware and tuned to his every word, his every want, wish and need.

Tsuna doesn't think he realizes yet just how much weight they put in his every word, want, wish and need. Maybe that's why he says what he says next, to test the water, to be a little more aware of it, "Sit."

Of course, it's an unnecessary thing to say. What else is there for Gokudera to do now he's here but to sit next to him? Kneel?

He would if Tsuna were to ask him to.

He'd remain standing too if Tsuna were to change his mind.

Gokudera widens his eyes again, seemingly sucking in a breath, though Tsuna doesn't hear it. It doesn't look like he takes offense all the same, and it's a relief. Tsuna isn't trying to assert a hierarchy between them or anything of the sort at all. He'd never do that to any of them. Would never betray their trust like that.

He smiles, patting the place next to him on the couch. Gokudera sits just as easily as he came to him, as easily as they all quieted down when he spoke, and Tsuna's heart flutters. On a whim, and for no other reason, he swears, he brushes his hair away from his eyes, tucking it behind his ear, then cups his cheek. "Thank you."

Gokudera blushes bright red, but cannot fight against the pleased smile pulling at his lips, glowing under his attention. He leans in his touch, maybe or maybe not purposefully, and Tsuna brushes his thumb against his cheek. "Of course, Tenth."

When Tsuna chances a glance at the others, he's met with the fierce jealousy on Yamamoto's face, burning in his eyes. His heart skips a beat, blood rushing through his veins.

Oh.

They love him.

How heady.

No wonder Vongola's so sure it can only inevitably catch him in its spider's web.

Chapter Text

"Where did Gokudera go in such a hurry?" Yamamoto asks as they make their way out of the classroom.

"He said something came up and he had to go" —Tsuna lowers his voice— "restock his dynamites earlier than planned."

"Oh, so I have you all for myself today then?" He wraps an arm around his shoulders, a bright and wide grin on his face. "Lucky me."

It's not anything he hasn't said before, though maybe not in those exact terms, but there's something in the way he says it that makes Tsuna a little bashful. In the warmth and eagerness in his eyes.

Yamamoto's been more... straightforward in wanting his attention ever since what happened with Gokudera in his living room. Though Yamamoto's always been straightforward, that's kind of his thing.

Tsuna doesn't know how to put it, but both him and Gokudera have been even less shy than before about fighting over him whenever they're together. Have been making no secret it's what they're doing.

Fighting over his attention.

If Tsuna could tell his younger self something like this would happen to him in the future, he'd probably think he was making a cruel joke at him, but Tsuna would look so absurdly happy telling it to him, he'd eventually believe him.

"Takeshi, wait up!"

Both Yamamoto and him pause, turning to look at the two boys running to them. They're familiar, looking older than them, but Tsuna can't replace their names.

"Oh, senpai!" Yamamoto says. Right, they're members of the baseball club. "What's up?"

"Where are you going? We said we'd go train at the park today, remember? The tournament's coming, and with Hikari who injured himself..."

"Did I say I was coming?" Yamamoto makes the slightest pause, making them shift uncomfortably. "Sorry, but I need to go home with Tsuna. Especially today when Gokudera can't come with us."

"Come on, man—"

"He can live without you a little, can't he?" the other boy says, apparently taking the more aggressive approach. "If we can't even count on you anymore either..."

They both glance at him, want to anyway, but the second they shift their attention from Yamamoto to him, Yamamoto steps in front of him. He rises to his full height, still smiling, still friendly, but staring them down, his message loud and clear.

Tsuna's heart swells with affection.

"Don't worry, senpai, I'm still gonna be ready for the tournament! I'm the team's ace after all, right?" He laughs.

His senpai huffs. "Fuck, Takeshi, Dame-Tsuna's not—"

"Don't call him that."

He snaps his mouth shut, both of them flinching.

Tsuna steps next to him, lightly wrapping his fingers around his wrist. He soothingly rubs his thumb against the back of his wrist, taking note of how Yamamoto's smile loses the sharp edges at its corners, how his eyes warm up once more.

His senpai look at their linked hands for a long moment, and then, of course, predictably, look at him with that same accusation in their eyes.

It used to make him miserable the way everyone at school feels so entitled to make every single thing going wrong in their lives somehow his fault. But now Tsuna just looks back at them, not backing down. They're not the only ones angry, they're not the only ones wanting to throw accusations.

Yamamoto's just as committed to baseball as he's ever been. He never misses practice, and is always one of the last ones leaving. He never misses the practice on his own personal time either, despite how he commits himself just as hard to the sword.

What makes them so sure they can just ask even more of him than that? What makes them so entitled to ask that of him? It's too bad one of their members got injured, but why do they expect Yamamoto to make up for it all on his own instead of all of them doing it as a team?

It's that kind of pressure that once had Yamamoto ready to jump off the school roof, and Tsuna will not let them making him feel ashamed or guilty for letting Yamamoto know it's no pressure he has to carry.

"Jeez, Takeshi, chill," the senpai who first talked says, apparently losing patience too. "You know this is also what got us concerned, right? That's just the nickname everyone uses for him, what's the big deal?"

Yamamoto stops smiling, his muscles flexing under Tsuna's hand.

Tsuna squeezes his wrist, brushing his face against his shoulder. "Takeshi," he whispers for only him to hear. His senpai can only hear him too, close as they are, but it's still for only Yamamoto to hear, and only him can hear more than just his own name in his voice anyway.

Tsuna's grateful, he is, but this is nothing he has to fight his club members over.

This time Yamamoto looks at him, a smile gracing his lips when Tsuna brushes his face against his shoulder again. He wipes it off his face as he looks at his senpai again. "I'm not coming." The dismissal is clear, and they don't need to be told twice. Yamamoto stares at their backs until they disappear around the corner, and is only warmth again when he turns to face him, though he looks apologetic. "Sorry about that."

"Thank you," Tsuna says, smiling. "But you don't have to fight with them over things like that, you know?"

"Don't say that, Tsuna," Yamamoto says softly, squeezing his hand. When did they even hold hands? "It's not just 'things like that'."

"No, I mean—" he stumbles over his words in his hurry to get rid of that expression on Yamamoto's face. "I'm grateful, but I know they're your friends too—"

Yamamoto laughs, and Tsuna snaps his mouth shut, shame coursing through his body, heating his face until it burns. He steps back, lowering his head and hunching over himself.

"No, Tsuna!" Yamamoto pulls him closer again, closer than before, and cups his cheek to make him raise his head again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you, I swear."

"I know," he says as he makes himself relax again. Yamamoto wouldn't, nor any of the others. It's just that anyone else, and they would have been laughing at him.

"It's just that you say the silliest things sometimes."

Tsuna huffs a laugh, raising his eyebrows. "What do you mean? You're not friends with them?"

"Yeah, I am. But you're Tsuna, so what's even there to talk about?"

Tsuna blinks, and it makes Yamamoto grin wider. Then he blushes bright red. "Now you're just flattering me," he mumbles, averting his eyes. "What is it you want from me?"

Yamamoto bursts out laughing, letting his hand falls from his cheek, and it feels a little cold without it. "That's right, I do want something from you!" He makes them resume walking, and Tsuna thinks he'll put his arm around his shoulders again as he usually does, but it seems he'd rather they keep holding hands. "I want us to go back home now, because if you come home any later than usual, Gokudera is sure to hunt me down for answers. And then there'll be two more injured people in the baseball team."

Yamamoto doesn't sound like he'd mind that at all, and Tsuna bumps their shoulders together, playfully narrowing his eyes at him, but meaning it. Yamamoto pouts, and Tsuna marvels at the sight a little.

To think even he now has people who can understand him by touch alone. People who took the time to know him and pay attention to him so they could understand him even by touch alone, people who wanted to become close to him to the point they could understand him even by touch alone.

That it's a given for so many people and something he couldn't even dream of for years should hurt him, but with Yamamoto's warm hand in his, it only makes his heart swell so big, it can only end up bursting.

Chapter Text

A foot trips him at the same time someone shoves his back, and Tsuna harshly falls face down on the floor.

"Don't you even know how to walk anymore, Dame-Tsuna?" a mocking voice says from above him.

Tsuna bites his tongue as he stands. Thankfully they're inside and he managed to break his fall, so there's only a dull ache coursing through his hands and knees. He reluctantly turns to face his first bullies of the day.

There's only two of them, a small mercy, second years like him, but from a different class. They should all be in class right now, so likely they'll make it quick, unless they're skipping and aren't just late like him. They're still closer to the lockers than the classrooms though, so they won't be held back as much as he'd want by the need of not making too much noise.

Tsuna bites his tongue harder at their mocking grins. He'd forgotten Dame-Tsuna can't even run to class late in peace as he sent Hayato and Takeshi ahead of him this morning, but of course, they'd hate to fail to remind it to him whenever they can.

"Hibari-san's doing his patrol right now," he says. "He'll be here soon."

It's the truth. Tsuna didn't see him, but thanks to Reborn making it his job to get his hands on Hibari whenever they need him, he's become familiar with his schedule.

They bark out a laugh, making him flinch. He frowns, taken aback.

"Dame-Tsuna, since when did you become funny? You think Hibari and you are friends?"

"Right, right. Hibari hangs around you for a bit here and now, and you think he actually gives a shit about you? That he won't just stop and watch? That he won't get in on it before ever helping you?"

Their words sting, Tsuna's stomach twisting, insecurities he thought weren't so easily bared raw anymore leaving an acrid taste in his mouth. He tightly grabs onto his pants, but refuses to look away.

One of them slams him against the wall, pressing his arm against his throat. "Fine then," he says, something distinctly angry in the way he bares his teeth at him in a mockery of a smile. "Should we wait and see which one of us is right? Should we have some fun while waiting for your dear Hibari-san?"

He wrenches his school bag from him, throwing it at his friend. Despite their words though, despite their confidence, they seem reluctant to do anything that might backfire against them too hard in the case Tsuna is the one who's right. His friend throws the content of his bag on the floor, dirties it and breaks it, both of them laughing as he does, but they keep their hands off of him.

Tsuna wants to say it out loud, wants to call them cowards to their faces, but the acrid taste in his mouth is still choking him.

The slap's sudden, snapping his head to the side. His cheek burns, his ears ringing. "I don't like that look in your eyes much, Dame-Tsuna." He raises his hand again, but ready to punch him this time.

A tonfa hits him square on the side of his head, the sound of it louder than any of his slaps or punches could ever hope to be. It sends him flying on the floor, knocked out cold, maybe concussed too, Tsuna falling on the floor.

Hibari swiftly turns on his feet and lunges at the other one, sinking his tonfa deep in his guts. He doesn't even finish falling on the floor, knocked out cold too, that Hibari already dismisses the both of them, his full attention on him.

Tsuna can't help but laugh. "You're so... terrifyingly efficient. Thank you."

Hibari dismisses that too, putting his tonfas away. "You could have taken care of them."

He could. Tsuna can take care of all his bullies now, really. He looks down. "They said we weren't friends. That you didn't see me as a friend." He feels pathetic saying it. Doesn't know why he says it anyway.

"So you wanted to test me?"

Tsuna deserves the anger in his voice. He pulls his knees closer to his chest, shaking his head. He feels pathetic over his small voice too. "I just wanted to prove them wrong." If Tsuna can't trust in Hibari without a shadow of a doubt, then he can't trust in anything. Hibari says nothing, and it urges him to explain himself further. He can't stand the thought of him finding him pathetic too. "You might not know this" —he almost laughs at the thought. As if there's anyone in this school who isn't aware of Dame-Tsuna. That Hibari might really not have been aware of it though is perfectly believable— "but before—"

"Before," Hibari cuts him off. His voice's not angry anymore, and Tsuna looks up. "Not now." He considers him a bit before he fully softens. "And not after," he says, in reassurance, Tsuna knows, in comfort, and a promise first and foremost.

Tsuna's eyes immediately fill with tears, the acrid taste in his mouth finally disappearing and letting him breathe again. He huffs a laugh, choked up and fragile, but the smile that pulls at his lips can only be bright and warmth. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

"Are you planning on staying on the floor? Your cheek will bruise. Hurry up and go to the infirmary."

"Won't you give me a hand? You don't like hugs, so at least let me hold your hand in thanks."

Hibari turns his nose up at him, pursing his lips. "Do not push your luck, little animal."

"Kyoya," Tsuna says as he makes to leave. "Pretty please?"

So maybe Tsuna has been shamelessly using their first names not quite innocently lately. Not that this is what it's about. It's entirely about calling them by their first names in and of itself, about being allowed to and them welcoming it. Tsuna's not doing anything bad either way, so he thinks he's allowed to indulge himself with it, to ride that high for as long as it'll last.

There's—there's something so affirming in hearing your name from someone you trust, so comforting in hearing how well-practiced it is in their mouth, the way they know it like the back of their hand. A subtle intimacy powerful enough to give you the strength and certainty you can take on even the world.

Tsuna would know, and he only wants to do the same for the ones who taught that to him. Besides, it's not like they dislike it. Takeshi beamed when he first called him by his first name, and it makes all of their names even sweeter on his tongue.

Hibari, of course, sees right through him. He breaks into a grin, and then he's in his face, crouching in front of him. "You're a child, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna giggles, exactly like a child who's been caught red-handed and is unapologetic about it. "You're a child too." It looks good on him, and Tsuna commits the sight to memory.

Hibari offers him his hand.

Tsuna takes it, and he hauls him up to his feet with so much force, he almost falls again. It was, of course, on purpose, and he rolls his eyes, snorting. He squeezes Hibari's hand in thanks like he said he would before he can take it away.

Hibari doesn't take it away.

Tsuna frowns. Is it that maybe he still looks shaken up or something?

He slowly raises Hibari's hand, pausing halfway, catching Hibari's eye. Hibari simply raises his eyebrow at him.

Tsuna brings his hand to his lips, and plants a feather-light kiss on it. He's careful not to cross his boundaries and make him uncomfortable, merely brushing his lips against the back of his hand ever so slightly.

Hibari still doesn't take his hand away.

The laugh that tumbles from Tsuna's lips is loud and free and happy, and Tsuna could not have stopped it to save his life. He can't stop laughing, cradling Hibari's hand in both of his and pressing it against his mouth to muffle his laugh. That's definitely him crossing one of his line, but it'd be too embarrassing to let him see clearly just how wide he's smiling right now.

And still, Hibari leaves his hand in his care, at the mercy of his whims.

Have they always been giving him so much of themselves? Laying it all down in front of them for Tsuna to take as he needs to, as he sees fit?

It's only recently Tsuna truly realized he's allowed to reach out and take, that they're waiting for him to, have been waiting for him to all along. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to the surge of gratefulnesshappinessaffectionlove that makes his heart grow sizes and his head spin whenever he does reach out and take, and they let him. Are happier in turn for it.

Tsuna doesn't know what to do with all that love given to him so freely. Only knows to cradle it close and keep it safe and warm in his arms, to treasure it. Doesn't know if it's enough to make it justice, to show just how grateful he is for it.

Tsuna doesn't think his arms will ever be enough to encompass the whole of that love, not at times like this.

What a blessing.

Chapter Text

Chrome's, Joshima's and Kakimoto's argument reaches a stalemate, silence falling over them as they stare each other down. It's awkward, and Tsuna wishes he could feel as unconcerned as M.M. and Fran seem to be, keeping themselves busy on the couch.

From what he gathered, Mukuro's locked himself in his room for days now, not eating, and not sparing them a word about how he's doing in there, or so much as a glimpse of him. It's apparently not unusual, but it seems it never lasted this long before, which is why they're so on edge with worry and uncertainty. M.M. and Fran too, who're only pretending not to be paying attention to the conversation.

Chrome proposed for Tsuna to give it a try, even saying she believed Mukuro would actually agree to spare him some time. Joshima and Kakimoto weren't so keen on the idea.

Tsuna's the most awkward of all of them, standing to the side with his mom's bento in his hands. He just wanted to bring them food. Less because of the necessity of it and more by habit, and because he doesn't have many other excuses to check on them.

They've been doing noticeably better after the whole debacle with the Arcobaleno Curse. Tsuna isn't sure of Chrome's situation now, whether she moved back to Kokuyo Land, still lives in Namimori, something in between or something else entirely. Either way she's always at Kokuyo Land too whenever he visits, and at the very least transferred school again back to Kokuyo Middle School. She found a part-time job too, which prompted Joshima and Kakimoto to look for one too, though they aren't as lucky at keeping their jobs. It means Mukuro's also doing something to bring in money, though he probably doesn't care to do it the legal way.

They've always had the electricity and water running, but now they have heating too, and a solid, working roof above the rooms and buildings they use. There's also always more furniture than before whenever he visits. Tsuna hopes they don't plan to actually settle in Kokuyo Land, but if they do plan to, it's a relief to know they first plan to make it into something that actually looks livable.

When Reborn keeps boring his eyes into him, Tsuna looks down and catches his eye. Reborn's unimpressed in the face of him not knowing what he's missing that apparently should be obvious. Then it clicks.

Tsuna should step up and say something too, right? He has a say in this too, has the right to. It's his place to speak about what he thinks would be the best for Mukuro too, about what might be able to help him feel better.

He keeps forgetting he now has people to speak for, people who trust him to speak for them with their best interests in mind. His people.

It's always a warm feeling whenever he remembers it again.

Tsuna puts the bento down before stepping forwards. Joshima and Kakimoto snap their eyes to him none too warmly before he can even make a sound, and he tenses, but holds his ground. "Let me try. You know I'm no threat to him." It needs to be said, especially when, as far as they can tell, Mukuro's currently in a vulnerable position. Tsuna's not unfriendly with the Kokuyo Gang, but apart from Chrome, he's not friendly with them by no means either, and he never makes the mistake of forgetting it. "Though," he can't help but add, "if it does end up in a fight or something, you know too Mukuro will be the one to start it, right?" Better cover all his bases, God knows Mukuro's unpredictable like that.

Joshima bares his teeth, Kakimoto pursing his lips, but when glancing at Chrome and the smile she gives him, they relent. Tsuna lets out a relieved sigh.

"Mukuro?" he says, knocking at his door. He gives it a moment, but doesn't wait for an answer he knows won't come, carefully peeking his head inside. Thankfully Mukuro isn't in his bed, but even just the sight of it alone makes it awkward, somehow. Mukuro lies down on the couch, headphones on his ears, pretending he doesn't know he's there. "I'm coming in." He makes his way inside slowly, leaving noticeable distance between them as he stops in front of the couch. "I've brought you guys some food. And I heard you haven't been eating lately."

"Something like starvation won't kill me, don't you know, Tsunayoshi dear?"

Tsuna has to stop himself from shifting uneasily. Mukuro could be dead serious just as he could be joking. Tsuna doesn't want to think about the implications of him being dead serious. About how he'd have had to learn that for himself if he is, at least once. "But it'll harm you. And it makes the others worry about you. Makes me worry too." Mukuro doesn't deem his words worth any comment. "Are you actually listening to music, or is that just your way to tell me you don't want me here?" Tsuna blinks, then widens his eyes. "Oh, is noise bothering you right now? Should I keep quiet?"

Mukuro chuckles. "Why, after you came all the way here? Do delight me with whatever you have to say."

Mukuro looks fine, casually lying down on the couch as he is, his head on the armrest, his legs crossed at the ankles on the other one. Of course it says nothing about how he might feel right now, but it's still a relief.

Tsuna chances a step closer. Mukuro's eyes have been steady on him ever since he came within sight, and he looks back, watching out for his reaction. He slowly comes closer and closer in case there's something like him being too close at play here, careful to pick up the cue should it appear on Mukuro's face, but he ends up sitting on the beanbag at the foot of the couch without trouble.

"It feels good, right? People worrying about you. Caring about you." He doesn't know if it's the right thing to say, or if it's what Mukuro wants or needs to hear right now. But it's the most genuine words he has for him at the moment, and either way Mukuro won't fault him for them. "I know," he says even if Mukuro didn't say anything, but his eyes say plenty enough. He would know. "But it's selfish to just let them worry when you can make it easier for them. It's wrong. Just eat a little, let them see you for a little bit. Tell them you just want to be left alone for now. Anything."

"Is that what people do to get some peace alone without everyone around them losing their minds over it?"

Tsuna smiles. "Yeah, Mukuro. That's what people do."

Mukuro smirks. "I'm not people though."

"But you are," Tsuna hurries to say, his heart clenching. "A person." He bites his lip to stop himself from saying anything more.

Mukuro sits, taking off his headphones, facing him. He leans down, taking in his face, and his smirk widens. "Under different circumstances, you and I could have been... allies," he settles on. That's fine. He doesn't have to say the word friends for Tsuna to hear it anyway. "But then again, if we didn't meet under the circumstances we did, I wouldn't know that and would have gotten rid of you long ago. Isn't it funny how life works sometimes?"

Tsuna doesn't know what to say. Doesn't know what is expected of him right now, how to comfort him. He's still learning what it means to be a good friend and how to be one.

He's not always a good friend. Already hasn't been one many times before. And he failed them all so utterly and terribly in that horrible future, Mukuro most of all, but he promised himself he'll never become that person again.

Tsuna's still learning how to be a good friend. Makes amends and learns from his mistakes. Makes sure not to make the same ones again, but reminds himself they'll allow him to not know any better at times and will forgive him for it.

Tsuna can only hope he's becoming a better and better friend, slowly but surely, little by little.

His words failing him, he reaches out to gently strokes Mukuro's hair, silk-like under his fingers. He brushes them away from his eyes, from his right eye, then the left. He lets his fingertips slide over his right eye, brushes them against the soft and smooth skin underneath, and Mukuro doesn't move away from his touch.

Tsuna has yet to notice even one scar on Mukuro's body. Not even the one on his temple from when he shot himself with the Possession bullet when they first met, and he knows it wasn't the first time he did it.

Does Mukuro hate it? Looking so unharmed, as if he wasn't cruelly broken down in pieces, again and again, and too many times for him to ever be able to put his pieces back together the way they used to be.

Does he hate knowing all his scars and still open wounds are on the inside, that only him will ever know just how much the world failed him?

Does he hate the sight of his right eye, having no choice but to remember the hell he escaped from whenever he looks at himself? Does he hate how they left their mark on him in a way he'll never be able to get rid of, short of him getting rid of his eye?

Or does it help? Does Mukuro like it better like that? Does it help him claim his body back as only his, claim himself back as only his?

Tsuna hopes it does. God, he hopes it does.

Tsuna rises on his knees, grabbing Mukuro's face between his hands and pressing their foreheads together. He squeezes his eyes shut, his heart heavy and painful, and he wishes he had the words to comfort Mukuro.

He expects a snarky remark from him any second now.

"Do not pity me," is what he says after a long beat of silence, his voice dead serious.

Tsuna shakes his head. "I don't." He's never pitied him, not even once. Pity does nothing. It only lets people more easily look away, and convince themselves there's nothing they can do before they even try to do anything. "But sometimes I do cry over you," he confesses. "For you."

He cried over him after their fight at Kokuyo Land, thinking of what Joshima told him, of what kind of cage he helped them put him back in. He cried over him after fighting the Varia, thinking of the memories of him in that submerged cell, not even allowed to remain conscious. He cried over him when they were in the future, thinking about how he was in Vindice still, feeling like utter filth.

Whenever Tsuna thinks of all the pain Mukuro went through, of all the pain he had to survive through, of how many times he must have shattered enduring it and how many pieces of himself he couldn't salvage, he ends up in tears, coming fast and hard to the point he can't breathe through them.

"Do not cry over me either," he says, his voice softer. His hand's almost gentle when he wipes the tears heavy in his eyelashes away. "The boy who'd have appreciated those tears is long gone and dead."

Tsuna shakes his head again, more fiercely than before.

That boy's right there in front of him, cradled between his hands, and Tsuna would cradle him closer still if he'd let him. A boy who locks himself in his room when it all becomes too much, when everything comes back to haunt him all at once. A boy who doesn't want to face the people worrying over him, who doesn't know how to or what to do with that worry, who doesn't know how to accept the help they so desperately want to give him.

That boy's still alive, and Tsuna will never let go of him, will not let him be forgotten.

"You're the strongest person I know," he whispers with a strangled voice. "I'm so sorry you are."

"You're..." he trails off, idly tracing his face with his fingers, playing with his hair "...not as weak as you first appear to be. How ironic it is precisely the thing that'll doom you. Doesn't life work in funny ways?" He chuckles, taking his hand away. Tsuna opens his eyes. "Well? What is this supposed to even do?"

Tsuna laughs, but he wants to cry. Mukuro says the most tragic things at times, unbeknownst to him, he knows. It can only be unbeknownst to him.

If Tsuna went to anything that could come even close to what Mukuro went through, would Mukuro find him tragic too? Does he already anyway?

Tsuna pulls back only to lightly bump their foreheads again, and nuzzles his forehead against his. "Comfort you. Making you feel better."

"Aren't you just forcing your face in mine? And you're not nearly pretty enough to make it worth it, I'm afraid."

Tsuna rolls his eyes, but loosens his hold on him in case he wants to pull away. He doesn't. If anything, he even nuzzles his forehead against his in turn. Only as some kind of experiment, that much is clear, and he doesn't do it again, but Tsuna still feels butterflies in his stomach.

Mukuro cups his face between his hands too, his touch just as soft and gentle as Tsuna's, but with a manufactured feel to it. He has that same curious and attentive glint in his eyes as when he nuzzled their foreheads together, like he's trying something new.

It doesn't matter. Tsuna closes his eyes, leaning in his touch and treasuring it all the same.

"They will not break you," Mukuro says after a beat of comfortable silence.

A promise to him.

A threat to everyone else.

Tsuna opens his eyes, and Mukuro holds his gaze. Of course, he means it. Both the promise and the threat. He has the power and skills to act upon his threat too at the very least, if not his promise too.

Tsuna would let him. Would let him wrought destruction in his name, and would know to feel grateful and moved at the sight of it, at the fact that despite him being forced to wear his enemies' skin, Mukuro would still find him worth looking past it to only look at Tsuna, would still find Tsuna worth trusting and protecting. Worth avenging, and paying the price so to not let his pain be unpunished.

Should it ever come to that, Tsuna would know to feel nothing but loved by him.

Mukuro's touch feels more natural and earnest in its softness and gentleness now, and when he ever so lightly brushes his cheek with his thumb when Tsuna stays silent too long, tears well up in his eyes all over again.

Tsuna doesn't deserve Mukuro. Can't possibly deserve him with the blood running through his veins and the ring heavy on his fingers.

But God, he wants to be.

He will be.

He smiles, pressing their foreheads harder against each other. "I won't let them break me either."

A promise to all of them, and a threat to everyone else.

If Tsuna is the only thing standing between them and Vongola getting their hands on them, then he has every intention to be the last one standing.

Chapter Text

Tsuna plays his game in the living room, listening to the last of Lambo's tears with only one ear. He went after Reborn again, and predictably and inevitably, ended up the one hurt, again.

"Did you fight with Reborn-kun again?" their mom asks, patching him up as she usually does.

"Lambo-san will kill that stupid, idiot, ugly Reborn," he says between sniffling. "I only let him go today because he was too scared and begged Lambo-san for mercy."

Their mom chuckles. "So you were playing that fighting game again? Yes, I'm sure next time—"

"Lambo-san will never play with Reborn! Lambo-san will kill him and become the Boss of the Bovino family, and make humanity bow down to him!"

"Wouldn't that be a little lonely, though? What if Mama helps you convince Reborn-kun to be on your side—"

"I'm not playing with Reborn!" Lambo shouts, jumping to his feet on the couch. Tsuna winces at the desperation in his voice. It seems Reborn was especially rough with him today, and his hurt and tears come from deeper inside him, from somewhere more frail and vulnerable than usual. "I'm a hitman from the Bovino family—" He snaps his mouth shut, looking at their mom with tearful and pleading eyes.

She tilts her head, frowning, but her smile never wavers on her lips. "Yes, Lambo-kun?"

Tsuna sees the exact moment Lambo realizes he's talking to a wall, his face crumbling in hurt and confusion, in betrayal. Couldn't possibly have missed it. He sees himself so clearly in that moment, his stomach twists and his heart turns heavy, both on Lambo's and his behalf.

Their mom listens, always listens, but she doesn't always understand. She doesn't mean to, and Tsuna's wished multiple times she'd do it on purpose, wouldn't let herself understand, so he could hold her to it and hate her for it, making the pain easier to bear and carry. Then maybe he'd know how to cradle her love a little less closer at times when it cuts his hands and arms too deeply.

Their mom cannot fathom she isn't already loving them perfectly, he thinks it's what it comes down to. Cannot fathom they'd need something else from her she isn't already giving them, or would need for her to love them differently at times.

Tsuna's wished multiple times too he wouldn't know how solid the ground that belief of hers stand on is, so he could hold her to it and hate her for it too, but one thing Tsuna knows about his mom without a shadow of a doubt is that she's loved him from the moment he's been born.

"Lambo-kun?"

"I'll go play with him in my room," Tsuna says, already standing and leaving his controller on the floor. He doesn't know when he looked away from the TV to look at them, but he didn't pause his game before he did, and his character is long dead anyway.

Lambo is quiet and limp when Tsuna scoops him up in his arms, not even crying anymore. He stays still and lifeless too as he walks away.

"Reborn is the worst, huh?" he whispers conspiratory-like. "Always thinks he's so smart, but he can't even recognize the great Lambo-san even if he was to shoot him in the face." Lambo says nothing, and Tsuna's heart clenches. "Mama loves you," he says, and it's a relief he can say it with absolute certainty, a small mercy. Was life-saving too on those days when Tsuna was hurting so badly, wishing he could just stop breathing so everyone would finally be happy with him for once. "But she's not like you, or Reborn, or—or I-Pin-chan. You know that, right? That's why sometimes it's hard for her to talk with you."

It takes a moment, but then Lambo finds his voice again. "Lambo-san loves Tsuna-nii."

Tsuna blinks, pausing. Then a burst of love spreads from his chest to the rest of him, soft and kind and warm. He holds Lambo closer, smiling. "I love you too, Lambo."

Lambo laughs, back to full energy again in a blink. "Reborn is the worst in the entire world!" he shouts, flailing his arms and legs like he's punching and kicking. Tsuna's glad they're already in his room, with Reborn nowhere in sight. "Lambo-san let him go today because he's kind, but next time—!"

"Next time you have to take a picture of him scared and begging you for mercy to show me after." Lambo laughs again. Tsuna flops on his bed, lying on his back, keeping his arms around Lambo as he lies on his back too, atop his chest. "But you know, if you don't manage to make humanity bow down to you—"

"I will, I will!"

"I know, but if you don't, then you'd have to stay here forever, right?" He smiles when Lambo falls quiet, knowing he got him. "You'll have to live with us forever, with Mama, I-Pin-chan, Fuuta and me, will have to eat with us, play with us, go out with us…"

"Really?" His voice's quiet and hopeful, but he can't hide the excitement in it.

He yelps in surprise when Tsuna lifts him, holding him above his head. "Really. And because Lambo-san is the strongest in the entire world, you'll have to protect us too. Of course as the big brother, I'm the one who'll protect you, but would the great Lambo-san protect me too sometimes, so I can take breaks? Would you like that?"

Lambo holds his breath only for a second, taking his face in, and then bursts out laughing. He leans his hands on his, straightening to his full height, puffing his chest out and wildly swaying his legs. He's the very image of pride and joy, and Tsuna's grinning from ear to ear before he even realizes. "Of course! Lambo-san always protects his subordinates! He'll protect everyone and keep Tsuna-nii safe so we can keep eating and playing and going out together forever!"

"Really? Even against Meanie Reborn?"

"Lambo-san isn't afraid of Reborn! As soon as I see him again, I'm gonna get rid of him, you'll see!"

Tsuna giggles, bringing Lambo closer to his face. "All right then. I'm counting on you, Lambo."

"Oh?"

They freeze, Lambo's face falling and his eyes widening, while Tsuna stops breathing.

He shoots out of the bed with Lambo so fast he almost breaks something, making a run for it without so much as a glance to know where the hell Reborn even came from.

"No, Tsuna-nii! I'll protect you!"

The words are so unexpected, Tsuna stops dead in his tracks.

It's not that he didn't think Lambo wasn't genuine before, but…

Lambo looks so obviously scared and unsure, shaking, but the determination in his eyes doesn't waver and shines brightly as he looks back at him. His glare is fierce when he averts his eyes, but Tsuna doesn't hear whatever he shouts at Reborn.

He leans his forehead on top of his head, closing his eyes. He breathes him in, soaking in the moment, the softest smile on his lips.

His little Lightning. His baby brother. Maybe not the strongest person in the world, but the bravest person Tsuna knows.

And that he's the one inspiring such bravery…

Tsuna will just have to always see to it he's worthy of such an honor.

He tenses when Reborn switches the safety of his gun off. "Let's make him tired by playing hide-and-seek first," he whispers in Lambo's ear, then bolts out of the room again.

This time Lambo says nothing, and he knows it's so they can play hide-and-seek, and not because he recognized any tactical value in his words. He climbs up his chest to lean on his shoulder, maybe to be the lookout, and Tsuna keeps one hand securely around him as he runs down the stairs.

"Hurry up, Tsuna-nii, hurry up!" Lambo shouts, laughing madly. This is definitely not a situation where they should be laughing, but a laugh bursts out of him too anyway. "He's coming!"

Tsuna doesn't risk confirming if it's true or not, hasn't the luxury to slow down for even a second. "I'm going out with Lambo!" he shouts for their mom, almost falls multiple times as he hurries to put on his shoes, making both of them laugh harder, and then they're gone like the wind.

Lambo keeps assuring him Reborn's coming after them and so Tsuna keeps running, both of them laughing so hard, there's tears in Tsuna's eyes.

Chapter Text

Tsuna carries more bags than he can count, and the ones piled up in his arms almost obscures his sight entirely. He doesn't know for the life of him why it's always him at times like this. This is clearly a girls outing, and yet they came looking for him at his home and asked him if he wanted to go with them.

Not so he could carry their bags for them, he's sure, but just to hang out together. Tsuna figures that when a guy hangs out with girls and there are bags to carry, he just ends up being the one carrying them. And even Tsuna can feel like a man at times like this, wants to defend his honor as a man, and so he'd sooner let the bags collapse on him and kill him than refuse to keep carrying them alone, as many as they'll keep coming.

He seems to be the only one acknowledging he's a guy among girls, though. They're not excluding him from their conversations, but they're so clearly girls talk, he's hard-pressed to get involved in them. It's even more awkward when they're trying outfits, asking him for his opinion on them too, and he can only remember they're very much girls, blushing bright red.

Tsuna doesn't mind any of it. It's nice to spend peaceful moments like this, to see them enjoy themselves and each other's company. Kyoko, Haru, Hana and Chrome, but even M.M. too, who also came along. Tsuna was taken aback by her presence, was a bit wary of it too, but they seem to get along just fine, especially Hana and M.M., surprisingly. They laugh together, praise this cloth and that one, recommend them to each other and buy them for each other, and take pictures Tsuna tries not to ruin with his awkwardness.

It's nice to see how far Chrome has came from when she first bonded with Kyoko, Haru and I-Pin in the future. Tsuna probably didn't wonder how she might feel being the only girl among guys as she was before as much as he should have, but he should have. It's a relief to know he doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Tsuna sits at a table outside the restaurant, gratefully putting his bags down. He stretches his arms in front of him and then above his head, stretching his back too while he's at it. He flops face down on the table, his head in his arms.

Reborn would scold him for it, but it's not like he doesn't keep being aware of his surrounding. Besides, if there's one person who can both look after the girls and still have his back as he relaxes a little even if they're in different locations, it's either Chrome or Mukuro.

"Thank you for your hard work," her soft voice says, as if summoned, putting something down next to him.

Tsuna looks at the drink, then up at her with a smile, straightening in his seat. "Thanks," he says, taking the drink as she sits next to him, a drink of her own in her hands. "But it's nothing, it's not like there's rocks in them or something." Tsuna did almost fall multiple times carrying them, but he's became physically stronger ever since Reborn showed up in his life, and maybe he prides himself a little on it. He can handle that much. "Where are the others?"

"I can use a bit of a break right now myself, so I locked them in another dimension for a bit."

Tsuna huffs a laugh, catching her eye.

She says nothing, her face blank, looking back at him.

Tsuna's smile slowly wavers on his lips until it disappears entirely. "Please, laugh." She does, to his relief, snorting as her face brightens in mischief. Tsuna huffs, but then can't help but laugh with her. "Jeez, come on, Chrome. Don't scare me like that."

"M.M. decided she wanted to buy that dress she saw after all," she explains, "so she went back to the shop with Hana-chan. Kyoko-chan and Haru-chan noticed one of their favorite shops is doing sales, so they went to look around for a bit, but they should all meet us here soon."

"I see."

"Are you okay?" Tsuna frowns. "You've been looking a bit high-strung."

"Oh. Not because of any you," he hurries to say, just in case, putting down his drink. "It's just… I'm still not used to hang out with anyone, I guess. And—before… the rare times when I was given the opportunity to, I quickly learned to stay on guard until the other shoe dropped. Ah, of course I'm not saying it could happen with you, I trust you guys—"

"I get it, Boss," Chrome says, stopping his rambling short before it could start.

Tsuna gaps a little before he closes his mouth, giving her a small and grateful smile. "Right. But apart from that there's also the fact…" he blushes, lowering his head "...well, you're all girls." He barely articulates the last word, then quickly coughs on top of it for good measure.

"I heard you clearly."

"Ugh." Tsuna hides his burning face in his hand, raising his drink as a barrier between her eye and him. "You're the worst."

Chrome giggles, but mercifully swallows it back quickly. "I really am in need of a break, though. I'm not used to any of this either, and I keep waiting to mess up and ruin it for everyone."

"Would that…" he frowns, considering "...would that be such a terrible thing? It might not feel pleasant in the moment, but it always makes for a fun story to tell later, right?" At least Hayato and Takeshi arguing together has never stopped Tsuna from fondly looking back to their outings. Or Hayato and Haru. Or Hayato and Lambo. Or Lambo and I-Pin. Or—

Anyway.

"Does it?"

"Yeah. Besides, it's not like you can always get along with everyone, even if they're your friends. And being able to keep being friends anyway is how you know you are friends, right? I think."

Chrome sits on his words, looking at him. Then she visibly relaxes, smiling, and maybe a bit of pride courses through him. "I see. I'll keep it in mind. Thank you, Boss."

"It's nothing. Anytime, Chrome."

"Are you having fun, Boss? Because I'm the one who said we should invite you to come with us."

Tsuna raises his eyebrows. "You are?"

"I thought you might be in need of a bit of a breather. I know a lot can be happening in your house, and I know you don't mind it, but…"

"God, yeah, I sure could use breathers from time to time," he cuts her off with a playful tone, joking and reassuring her. He'd die for his siblings anytime, but sometimes he'd also kill for some quiet. And don't even get him started on Reborn. "You have no idea."

A smile pulls at her lips. "I do a little now. Now we're looking after Fran."

Tsuna grins from ear to ear, mischievous. "They just know how to drive you up the wall, don't they?" he says, and she gives him her widest smile yet.

"They do, but it's nice they feel free to. It's nice to know you'll make sure they'll always feel free to act their ages."

An echo of the past—his past, pulls at his heartstrings, but he softens all the same, smiling. "Yeah. It really is. And I am having fun, thanks for thinking of me, Chrome." They share a smile, Chrome nodding ever so slightly. "It has been a bit taxing, though," he adds quietly, hesitating. "I think I'd call it a day now if I could."

"You can?" she says, frowning. "Just let the others know, and then go home." Tsuna bites his lip. He doesn't want to ruin their fun, or make them think they did anything wrong and he wasn't having just as much fun as them. Besides, he's the one carrying the bags. It'd be a little mean of him to suddenly leave them up to them, wouldn't it? "They're coming." Chrome didn't even look behind her to see it for herself, but when Tsuna does, here they come indeed. "Stand up."

Tsuna does as he's told without a second thought, quickly finishing his drink. He follows her cue and goes stand beside her, facing the others and waiting for them.

"What is it?" Hana asks as soon as they reach them.

Chrome links their arms together, holding onto his with both of hers. She presses herself against his side, seemingly snuggling against him, and Tsuna's jaw almost drops to the floor before he catches himself.

What's happening?

"I think I ate something bad."

Oh.

Oh.

She's just leaning her weight against him, pretending she can't stand by herself without support. Right, right, of course.

Tsuna can't look at anyone, especially Chrome, his face burning.

"Hahi?"

"Oh no, Chrome-chan, are you okay?"

Hana's eyebrows rise high on her forehead. "Aren't we about to eat, though?"

Chrome doesn't comment. "I'm okay, but I should probably go back home and rest. Boss said he'd walk me home."

"Of course!" Haru says. "We can't let someone sick be all by themself."

"Sorry to cut our plans short like this. To leave you with the bags too—"

"Chrome-chan." Kyoko grabs her hand in hers, smiling gently. "Your health comes first. It just means we have to hang out again even sooner than we'd have planned otherwise, right?"

Wow. It's very hard to not burst out laughing, and Tsuna should feel bad about it, right? But skepticism's dripping from Hana's and M.M's every pore, their gazes boring into them as they look at Chrome and him back and forth, and Tsuna doesn't know how long his tightly pursed lips will hold.

"Thank you, Kyoko-chan, Haru-chan."

M.M. scoffs, crossing her arms on her chest. "What kind of bullshit is this again, you silly girl?"

This time, Chrome spares her a look, an eloquent one from the look of it too, even if M.M. dismisses it easily with a raised eyebrow. She looks back at him, boring her eyes into him harder than before.

Once, Tsuna would have felt guilty and ashamed under her gaze. But he literally didn't even ask, wasn't even let on in the plan. Chrome's willingly offering her help out of her own volition, and Tsuna—the Tsuna of now, knows the only right thing to do is to gratefully accept it and appreciate it.

"Then we'll go now."

"All right, let us know once you're back home. And let's hang out together again soon!"

"You too, Tsuna-kun. Send us a text once you're back home, all right?"

"I will. I had fun today, thanks for inviting me."

And just like that, Chrome smoothly leads the way back to his home. She stays pressed against him, her head resting against his shoulder, and… it's warm. It's comfortable.

"Thanks," he breathes out, scratching his cheek and looking away.

He didn't have to feel guilty or ashamed, but maybe this is a bit pathetic of him?

"Boss." Chrome squeezes his arm, calling for his attention. "I doubt any of them bought it, if it can make you feel better."

Tsuna huffs a laugh. "Yeah, I doubt that too."

"And friends should step up for each other and make up for each other's weaknesses, right?"

Tsuna lets the words hang comfortably between them, lets them sink inside him and warming him up from the inside, basking in them. It's a truth he's came to know without a shadow of a doubt, one he lost hope multiple times he'd ever know it.

How lucky he is they remind him of that truth so freely and so often.

They're all more than worth the wait, pain and loneliness he had to go through until he could finally meet them, and that, too, he knows it to be the truth without a shadow of a doubt.

"Are you calling yourself a good liar?" he teases her.

"I should be at least that much if I want to be a competent Mist for you."

Tsuna gaps, a bit floored by the steady, shameless smile on her lips. Then he laughs. "Okay, you got me there." He playfully bumps their shoulders before leaning against her too. "But you're much more than that to me. Thank you, Chrome."

Chapter Text

Ryohei's uncharacteristically silent, seemingly deep in thought, but it doesn't feel like anything bad so Tsuna leaves him to it.

They sit outside on the patio at what Tsuna considers an ungodly hour, especially on weekends. Ryohei showed up at his doorstep out of the blue after his morning training, but thankfully he had clothes to lend him. Not his, of course, but the others spend so much time and are so often in his house by now, as Ryohei took a shower, he found what he thinks are Takeshi's clothes in his closet to lend him.

They sit outside because Ryohei said the quiet, sleeping atmosphere at this hour has always helped him think, empty cereal bowls next to them, now drinking hot chocolate. They brought blankets with them, the days becoming colder and colder, winter settling in more and more. Tsuna still feels a little too cold for his comfort, only wearing his pajama, but the quiet and sleeping atmosphere is nice to bask in, both the world and the sky bathed in a quiet and soothing blue color.

"Onii-san?" he eventually prompts him.

Ryohei frowns at his cup of hot chocolate harder. "Sawada, I noticed you're calling everyone else by their first names now."

Ah. So that's what it's about. "Yeah, I do."

"But I also like it when you call me Onii-san. I am your big bro, right?"

Tsuna smiles. "Yeah, you are. And I like the sound of it too."

He's always liked the sound of having an older sibling, of having someone who wouldn't mind looking after him and looking out for him no matter how hard he might make it be. Of having someone who wouldn't hold it against him no matter how hard he might make it be.

Dino's also his big brother, but he has yet to gather enough courage to call him that. On the other hand, Ryohei makes it easy, has made it feel natural from the very first time the word slipped out of his mouth.

Ryohei just has this way to make confidence comes easy and naturally to you.

"But I still feel left out to the extreme!" he shouts to the sky, startling him. "I want us to be on a first name basis too, Sawada!"

"Onii-san!" Tsuna scrambles to put his cup down beside him, which he thankfully didn't spill, slapping his hand over Ryohei's mouth. "Be quiet, you're gonna wake up everyone!" Ryohei freezes, widening his eyes, and they tensely listen to any noise that might come from his house, looking at each other. Their shoulders slump when they only pick up on silence. "Come on," Tsuna can't help but playfully chide him as he lets go of him.

"Extremely my bad," he says with an apologetic grin.

"It's fine. And I feel the same way too, so what about this? If we both feel like that, then… I'm sure I can manage using both names and switching them up. What do you think, Ryohei?"

"Oh—!" He beams, but Tsuna holds up a finger in front of him.

"On one condition, though. You have to start calling me Tsuna too."

In a blink Tsuna's pressed against his side, Ryohei's arm around his shoulders and his hand excitedly ruffling his hair. "Of course, of course!" He grins widely, almost blinding, a matching grin pulling at Tsuna's lips too. Truthfully he's been thinking about it too, but felt just as reluctant at the idea of not calling Ryohei Onii-san anymore. "You have yourself a deal, Tsuna!"

Tsuna bumps his fist against his, and they giggle, trying to remain quiet.

Maybe Tsuna can get even Hayato and Chrome to call him by his name too. Hopefully sometime soon.

After that Ryohei's as energetic as he ever is, making quick work of his hot chocolate with gusto.

"Was that the only thing you wanted to talk about?"

"That's right. I was thinking about it again when I was near your house, so I decided to come by."

"Really? Thanks. I'm... flattered." His voice's incredulous, but no less genuine.

Ryohei's spontaneity is one of the most endearing things about him.

"And now I get the privilege to be the first one to see you today."

Tsuna jabs his elbow in his side, warm on the cheeks. "Stop it."

Ryohei grins. "It's extremely true! Usually it's either Octopus-head or Takeshi. I don't see you often at school anymore, and I can't hang out with you guys outside as often anymore either."

"Yeah, I've noticed that. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry! But now I'm in my third year, my parents want me to try harder in school so I can get in a better high school. And then they want me to try harder in high school so I can get in a better college." He pauses, slightly frowning, a thoughtful look on his face. "But we won't go to college anyway, right?"

"You'll go if you want to," Tsuna blurts out almost desperately, almost apologetically, guilt lodging itself in his throat. "If that's what you guys want, then, definitely…"

He'll make it happen.

Maybe the certainty and determination in his voice are unrealistic considering their circumstances, but he means it, he does.

Ryohei's sad and solemn look makes his stomach twist, but it's gone in the next instant as a mischievous grin pulls at his lips. "What do you mean, we guys?" He jabs his finger along his side as he speaks, tickling him. "Doesn't your mom want you to go to college too?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says, jolting whenever his finger makes contact, and bending his body away to avoid it.

"Shouldn't you try harder in school too?"

Tsuna gaps. "Did you just bring up my grades right now?" Ryohei, maybe in retaliation for the sly jab, jabs his finger squarely in his side, a weird high-pitched noise mixed with startled laughter escaping his mouth. "Stop it," he says, trying to swat his hand away. "And clearly you're aware of the state of my grades, so what's your point?"

"Do you know the state of my grades?"

"Well... yeah." Ryohei looks caught off guard by his cheekiness, his expression caught halfway between laughing it off and taking offense at it. Tsuna takes the opportunity to tickle him too, swiftly reaching for his sides, but his fingers meet a wall of steel instead, Ryohei clearly flexing his muscles. He obnoxiously wiggles his eyebrows at him, grinning from ear to ear. "Wow," Tsuna deadpans. "Really? You're so cheating right now." Ryohei bursts out laughing, entirely too loud once more, but this time he catches himself before Tsuna can shush him, even if he can't help but laugh alongside him too. "Onii-san, come on!" he chides him again anyway.

"My bad, my bad," he says, lying down on his back and stretching his arms at either side of him.

The blanket falls from around him, and Tsuna adjusts it again as best as he can. "You're going to catch a cold."

"Then let's share some body heat!" he says, invitingly tapping the floor with his hand, but keeping his arms stretched at either side of him.

Is it... really okay for Tsuna to rest his head on his arm? Or would his shoulder be better? It won't be too uncomfortable for him even if it ends up cramping, right?

It does look inviting.

Tsuna quickly finishes the rest of his hot chocolate, then lies down next to him, resting his head on his shoulder with their bodies pressed against each other's. Ryohei brings his hand to his hair, and Tsuna doubts it's a comfortable position for his arm, but he seems content with idly playing with his hair like that.

"You're right, Tsuna. We can do anything we want. If you want to go to college, or if Kyoko does, or..." his next words are almost intelligible, but sure sound like 'or K—Kurokawa', and Tsuna purses his lips to hold back a smile. Ryohei clears his throat, his voice stronger once more when he continues "...then Sasagawa Ryohei will definitely make it happen to the extreme!"

Tsuna should smile at his words, but he only feels the taste of guilt again.

They should be able to do anything they want, to become anything they want, but it sounds... it sounds like a promise they can't possibly keep. Like a promise they're too powerless to be able to keep.

Ah. Is this why Ryohei looked like that when Tsuna said the same words to him?

"Tsuna." Ryohei gently pulls at his hair, and Tsuna cranes his neck up to catch his eye. "You just have to let us know if there's anything you want to do, you know that, right? Or if there's anything you don't want to do. Anything you want, I'll make sure to give it to you no matter what, so just let me extremely know, all right?"

It still sounds like a promise he can't possibly keep, but just like Tsuna before, he still means it, he does.

His Sun, and he'll light the way for him to wherever he wants to go, no matter the obstacles in his way.

Tsuna can only return the easy and blinding smile on his lips before he even realizes, can only blindly trust the unyielding resolve in his eyes. Ryohei has always had this way to give him the confidence he could take on even the world if he wanted to, but it's more than that.

If they're willing to take on the world for him like it's second nature, then of course, the least Tsuna can do is to do the same and win.

So what if he's not strong enough to keep his promises to them?

He just has to make sure he'll keep growing ever stronger until he can.

"I will. Thanks, Ryohei."

Ryohei hums, nodding approvingly. Tsuna snuggles closer against him, looking back at the sky.

"This is extremely nice. Is it okay if I keep dropping by sometimes?"

"Sure—" He yawns so hard, there's tears at the corners of his eyes. "If you don't mind me being half asleep every time, that is."

Ryohei laughs. "I don't mind at all!"

They fall in a comfortable silence, his house still quiet even if at least Reborn and Bianchi must be awake again, if they even managed to go back to sleep to begin with. It'd be nice if they could watch the sun rise together, but soaking Ryohei's warmth as he is and with Ryohei still running his hand through his hair, it lulls him to sleep.

Tsuna doesn't fight it, letting his eyes close shut.

He wishes peaceful days like this could go on forever.

Chapter Text

"What is this?" Tsuna asks, crumpling the letter in his hands with his tight grip, an icy feeling coursing through him and taking a hold of him.

"A joke, surely," Mukuro says, then laughs, but with no humor in it.

Kyoya doesn't sound any more pleased. "This is a waste of time. I do not answer to him."

"Of course you do," Reborn says, looking at them all before settling his eyes on Tsuna again. "It's just as you read."

They gathered in his room following the arrival of the letter, and Tsuna could barely finish reading it out loud, discovering its content for the first time as he did like the others.

The silence in the room as he read it wasn't only a matter of them listening to him.

"Does the Ninth think he just has to snap his fingers for us to come running to him? I thought we were all pretending you weren't holding us by the leashes you put around our necks, but I guess we're not anymore?" The room stays very still as his words hang in the air. "He can't just ask us to drop everything and move to Italy just because he wants us to."

"Of course he can," Reborn says, and his unbothered calmness would make him uneasy if he wasn't so angry about it. "But that's not what he's asking, is it? Don't be dramatic. He's inviting you to Italy for the next school vacation, so you can take a look at the schools there while you're there, and decide in which one you want to finish your education starting next year."

"Do you think I'm stupid, Reborn? Do you think I'm not aware of the ulterior motives behind this invitation?"

"Nono did say he thinks you ready to succeed him."

Tsuna abruptly stands, curling his hands into fists. The Ninth's letter falls on the floor, and he doesn't spare it a glance."And what about what I said to him? But I guess only the Ninth's words matter?"

"What do you mean?" Reborn's voice is dead serious, his eyes boring into him, and it does make him uneasy then. Tsuna holds his ground, not showing it. "The Inheritance Ceremony was fake, just as you wished it to be and as everyone else knows too by now. Which means that per all mafia laws, Vongola Nono is still the Boss of the Vongola family, which you are all a part of. But you're going to say no to him? To Vongola Nono?"

"Tsuna, maybe we can just consider it for a bit?" Takeshi says. "If it's just for the vacations—"

Tsuna turns to him, shouting, "How can you say that?" He feels guilty for it when Lambo cowers, but he can't help it. Why, why don't they ever put up a fight at times like this? Why are they always so willing to go along with it? "Our whole lives are here—" He falters, guilt twisting his stomach, flicking his eyes from Lambo to Hayato to Mukuro. "I—I mean, not for all of us… And of course if you want to go—"

Lambo, who was listening with one ear until the atmosphere turned tensed and serious, leaps for his leg and holds onto it for dear life. "Tsuna-nii doesn't want me anymore?" he asks quietly, slightly shaking, his face hidden against his shin.

"No, Lambo! Of course I do." He kneels on one knee, relieved when Lambo lets him take him in his arms, standing again. "But you're part of the Bovino family, right? And you want to become the Bovino Boss, don't you? Don't you miss them? Wouldn't you be happy seeing them again? Wouldn't you like… living with them again?"

Lambo holds tightly on his shirt, shaking his head. "Lambo-san wants to stay here. I want to live here with Tsuna-nii, Mama, I-Pin and Fuuta."

"Then you can stay here," Tsuna says right away. "You can stay here as long as you want, Lambo, I promise."

Lambo says nothing, still hiding his face, but he stops shaking, his body relaxing in his arms.

When Tsuna looks up from him, he meets Hayato's eyes.

Hayato awkwardly runs his hand through his hair. "I don't really care about Italy. And even if I left something I could call home back there when I came here, it already followed me here, so…"

Mukuro smirks when they catch each other's eye, his smirk sharp and jagged. "I do have many unfinished businesses waiting for me in Italy, but I'm sure you know there isn't anything there I'd ever call a home. But so what?"

Tsuna frowns. "What do you mean?"

"He's right, Tsuna," Ryohei says, but doesn't look happy that he has to say it. "I don't really like it either, but…"

"Then—"

"You think you just have to say no to him and that'll be the end of it?" Mukuro cuts him off.

"Mukuro-sama," Chrome says, with something in her voice Tsuna can't quite place, but whatever it is, Mukuro pays no mind to it.

"What are you saying?" Tsuna asks.

Mukuro clenches his jaw, all traces of humor gone from his face. "Are you so resolved to die still being as naive as you've ever been? You don't have that kind of power, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna finds himself at a loss for words.

What are they saying?

It's clear there's still something he's missing here, what with the way they keep looking at him and averting their eyes only to look at him again, worry in their eyes and… fear? For him?

It's only when he realizes they aren't averting their eyes from him, but looking at him and Reborn back and forth that it clicks. He widens his eyes, sucking in a breath.

Oh.

Tsuna brings a slow hand to cover his mouth.

"Tsuna-san?" Hayato asks.

"Tsuna?" Takeshi and Ryohei say at the same time.

Tsuna would lie if he said he isn't hurt by them never fighting back as fiercely as him against the mafia forced upon them. If he doesn't feel betrayed by the way they never quite take his side, supporting his voice and making it louder as he tries to make them have no part in it.

Tsuna always tries so hard to give them a choice and a way out of the mafia, is always so scared they'll end up hurt or worse by it, but it feels pointless at times when they always seem all but too ready and willing to be dragged in it deeper and deeper.

It hurts, especially when Tsuna does it for them. He doesn't want to have anything to do with the mafia, but does want them to be safe more than anything else in the world, and so he grits his teeth and does it for them again and again. Has ever only been doing it for them.

Except… they've been doing it for him all along too, haven't they?

It's not that they don't care about becoming mafia, about the risks involved in it and how much they'd have to lose by becoming mafia. It's not that they want to either, but Tsuna is forced to become mafia. And however much and hard he might fight against it, he can't run away from his blood, can he? However much he struggles to escape and free himself from Vongola's clutches, he can't hope to fight and win against the most powerful mafia family in the world, can he?

So what else is there for them to do but make sure he'll survive through it? Make sure they'll be strong enough to protect him and share part of his burden among them?

What else is there for them to do but be ready to take everything they might throw at them and win if they can't run away from it?

Tsuna digs his fingers in his skin, his sight blurring with the tears filling his eyes.

They love him, and will keep loving him still even if it means becoming mafia.

Lambo tugs at his shirt. "Tsuna-nii?"

Tsuna squeezes his eyes shut, breathing slow and deep. He lowers his hand from his mouth, resting it on top of Lambo's head, and smiles. "I'm okay, Lambo." Hayato, Takeshi and Ryohei are all standing, Chrome too, and he reaches for Takeshi who's the closest to him. Takeshi quickly holds his hand, and Tsuna squeezes his hand in reassurance, smiling at all of them. "I'm okay." When he catches Mukuro's eye again, he straightens to his full height, letting go of Takeshi's hand. He stops smiling, and though his voice is soft, it sounds strong in the silence of the room. "Of course I do."

Mukuro looks so taken aback by his words, he lets it show on his face. It seems the feeling is shared by everyone else too as Tsuna looks at them, and he allows himself a small smile at the corner of his lips.

It's true the boy they sent Reborn to couldn't hope to ever run away from his blood. Couldn't hope to take on Vongola of all mafia families and win.

That boy didn't have that kind of power, but what about now?

"Can you all take a good look at me? Really look at me, and decide for yourself if you can trust me on this."

Reborn has said he barely changed compared to when he first came in his life, and it seems they don't think it was enough change for it to make a difference. But Tsuna has changed, while at the same time he didn't change in any of the ways Reborn was sent to him to change him. He's grown stronger, more confident. He's learned to make his resolve unyielding, and to take his own life in his hands to shape it the way he wants to.

He's not the naive boy he once was either, and has never been as naive as everyone always assumes he is. He's well aware of how heavy, powerful and binding the shackles on him are.

But so what if they've put a leash around his neck so to keep him obedient?

Dogs can bite even their owners, and they've never owned him to begin with.

Tsuna takes their silence for what it is, smiling. "Then, can you tell me honestly if you want us to go to Italy?"

"Lambo-san doesn't want to."

Takeshi laughs, his hand at the back of his head. "I'd rather not to either. I can't let my old man all alone after all. Not so soon anyway."

"I feel the same way," Ryohei says, nodding and crossing his arms on his chest. "I know I'll have to let Kyoko go eventually, but for now, I still want to keep looking over her."

"I belong in Namimori. Nowhere else."

"I want to be wherever you wish to be, Tsuna-san!"

Chrome glances at Mukuro before catching his eye. She smiles. "I finally have things to call my own. People I care about and who cares about me too, and they're all here, in Japan."

"Mukuro?" Tsuna breathes out when he keeps silent a beat too long.

Mukuro's face is unreadable until he makes a show out of sighing, looking away. "Japan suits me well enough for now."

Tsuna's shoulders slump, his breath coming out easier. He would have respected their decisions no matter what, but it's reassuring to know that at least on this, they're all on the same page. It's relieving to hear. "Okay. Then we can wrap up this meeting here. You can go now." They don't move, uneasily shifting on their feet, looking at him and Reborn back and forth once more. "It's okay, I'll be fine," he says reassuringly. "I'll be fine. Can one of you take Lambo with you too?"

It takes another beat, but Kyoya is the first to make his way out of his room. Lambo's a bit reluctant when Takeshi picks him up from his arms, but lets go easily enough, and they leave like that one by one until there's only Reborn and him left.

"Is that anger on your face? Burning so fiercely in your eyes? The cold and ruthless kind too. How novel."

Tsuna grits his teeth, clenching his fists tighter, glaring at the letter on the floor a beat longer. What does Reborn sound so amused about?

He turns on his feet, changing his mind and making for the door too.

"Did I say you could leave?"

Tsuna pauses, catching his eye. "Is this you pulling at the leash you have around my neck right now?"

"So you do still can tell. Good. I've noticed you've been acting as if I've gotten soft on you lately."

"You have."

"Surely you wouldn't bet something as important as this on that?"

Tsuna huffs, turning to properly face him. "I'm sure you know I'm saying this only because you're making me say it, but I saved your life, Reborn, didn't I?"

"You did. And I hope you know I'll have no qualms disregarding that fact should it ever come to that."

"Don't you usually lie much better than that? How novel."

Reborn's lips twitch, but the hint of amusement that slips through disappears in the next instant. "You've been enjoying your time with the others lately. It won't last."

"I'll make it last."

"You haven't been able to so far, and it's not like you've not been trying to, is it? You don't have that kind of power." Tsuna grits his teeth so hard, his jaw hurts. Reborn smirks. "You keep refusing that power even when it's offered to you on a silver platter. Isn't that funny?"

"It is funny," Tsuna agrees, and the smile that pulls at his lips isn't meant to put Reborn at ease either. "Do you mean this power?"

He holds up his hand, showing the ring on his fingers. The Sky Vongola Ring.

Reborn stands on the desk, never averting his eyes from him. "So you're going to write back to Nono and refuse his offer? You do realize that just because he was considerate enough to frame it as an invitation, doesn't mean he's actually asking you, don't you? He's Vongola Nono."

Tsuna's well aware of it. It's not so long ago the Ninth threatened him with death so he'd catch Mukuro for him. Tsuna never got around to read that letter for himself, so he doesn't know if it was really the Ninth talking or just Reborn being his usual self, but he's willing to believe the former.

He is Vongola Nono, and Tsuna doesn't have the luxury to ever forget it.

"I thought he wanted a successor so he could retire though? I am Vongola Decimo, am I not?"

"Only when it suits your needs, it seems. Listen to me, Tsuna." His voice's dead serious again like before, making him tense. "All the things you care about that make you fight so hard against becoming Vongola Decimo are all things they can use against you to make sure you do end up becoming Vongola Decimo. They're all things that were given to you so they could use them against you. Every single person you care about is yet another way through which Vongola can keep you in its grasp. You do get that, don't you?"

"I think you're the ones who don't get it yet, Reborn." Tsuna's smile is genuine this time, cutting and threatening. His voice is soft again when he speaks, but cold, "You've only given me the one thing I'll rip all of you to pieces should you ever touch even a hair out of them."

Reborn actually draws back, slowly blinking, looking at him like he's seeing him for the first time. "Oh, Tsuna." His voice's syrupy sweet, almost cajoling. "This, I did not teach you. No one taught it to you. Are you at peace with the fact it's all you? That it's all coming from you?"

That's funny.

What else is he supposed to be but at peace with it?

It'd be common knowledge by now the one thing he can do is to love, if only Dame-Tsuna was ever given the chance or allowed to prove it. After all, Tsuna has always known what love is, and what being loved looks like.

Reborn laughs, unrestrained, almost on the verge of bursting out laughing. He grins so wide, his eyes gleaming as he looks at him, and maybe Tsuna shouldn't feel proud under that gaze, but he does. "Fine. Show me then, whether it's you or Vongola who'll come out on top."

He hops down from the desk and leaves the room.

Tsuna takes a deep breath, letting the tension seeps away from his body before following after him. He could only notice how Reborn didn't talk about himself and Vongola as one and the same during their conversation, but they can get into that another time.

Tsuna pauses in the doorway of the living room, blinking at the others.

None of them actually left.

They freeze too, looking like deer caught in headlights. It's even more noticeable because Lambo doesn't, though he does spare him a split second glance before keeping running around, laughing and screaming with I-Pin and Fuuta, playing at who knows what.

The beat of surprise passes, and the others awkwardly try to brush it off.

"Oh, Tsuna!" Takeshi says, then laughs for no apparent reason. "Um…"

"Your mother offered us extreme food!" Ryohei comes to the rescue. "We couldn't possibly refuse to the extreme!

Hayato gets on his knees, and bangs his head against the floor as he speaks, "Tenth! I mean, Tsuna-san! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disobey you!"

Chrome's the one to tell it like it is, smiling, "I was worried about you."

"I wasn't," Kyoya and Mukuro feel the need to say at the same time even when they were ignoring him until then, naturally, while the others blush.

"You'd think they don't have a home of their own," Reborn says, standing next to him.

"Where's your home then?" Reborn kicks him in the shin, his leg buckling under him. "Ow!"

"Reborn-san!"

"Whoa, Tsuna! You okay?"

Reborn pays them no mind, turning around and walking to the kitchen as Tsuna leans on the doorframe, cradling his shin and hopping on one foot. "Mama, I'd like an espresso, please."

The kitchen's bustling, both his mom and Bianchi there from the sounds of it, delicious smells wafting from there to the living room.

Tsuna laughs. It trickles down his lips, builds in his chest and rises up his throat, growing bigger until it tumbles down from his lips in a generous and steadily increasing stream. He keeps laughing, brings his hand to his mouth to muffle it but to no avail, and he laughs, laughs, laughs, his cheeks hurting from how wide he's smiling.

God, he loves them.

So, so much.

Reborn got it wrong earlier, because it's not about Vongola succeeding in making them mafia at all. So be it should it happen after all, but it'll happen on their terms. Has to, because it's about them being safe and alive and happy.

Tsuna loves them more than he could ever say, and so help him God if he doesn't make it so Vongola learns its place, and which lines it should never cross.