Chapter Text
It was 10pm, and Shane was standing at his usual spot in the saloon. The farmer sitting in the bar stool next to him, talking up a storm to Shane. He listened as he sipped at his Joja cola. The farmer and him had grown close over the past few months, he grew to like having the company of somebody else. He was hesitant to allow the farmer close to him for awhile. He had walls up and felt like he didn't deserve the love that the farmer wanted to show him. So he'd push her away. However, eventually he started to let her into his life more.
The farmer on the other hand, she never gave up on him. She was patient when he kept trying to push away. She sat and listened that night on the dock when he was reaching his lowest. And then once again when he laid on those cliffs. She was there for him. It had only been as of recently had she started opening up to him too however.
The farmer has struggled with ocd her whole life. But it had only gotten worse as she's gotten older. It's resulted in her not even being able to enjoy sleeping by herself out of fear. Her ocd even results on nightmares based off of her daily compulsions. The farmer had grown up going through and witnessing domestic violence. It only made her ocd worse. It was tiring on the farmer, and she'd only recently opened up about it to Shane. Shane listened intently when she first explained it to him. He didn't understand exactly what it was like, but he wanted to be there for her when her ocd flares anyways.
That night the farmer had asked Shane if he could walk her home, as she was having ocd-induced intrusive thoughts, and simply would feel better with his company at her side. He gave her a smile and agreed as he finished up his soda and threw away the can before following the farmer outside.
The farmer was awfully quiet. She had a lot of her mind when her ocd flares. It was frustrating and painful, but also saddening that she had to deal with it at the same time. A few minutes had passed as they walked, occasionally bumping arms. Shane looked down at her as she stared at her feet. "Penny for your thoughts?" He asked, nudging her arm with his elbow slightly. The farmer blinked a few times when she heard his voice. "Oh- um..." She hesitated, trying to find her words.
"Just thinking I guess" she vaguely said, looking back to her feet. Shane frowned slightly. He had started to pick up on how she acted when her ocd was getting worse. He noticed how she'd get quiet in the beginning of her flares, and how she'd try to isolate away from him, but when she was with him she was scared for him to leave. Shane remembered her telling him that sometimes physical affection would help, and he was willing to take that risk if it could help her rapid thoughts calm down. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and laced his fingers with hers. Not saying a word as he did so. He rubbed his thumb against her hand.
The farmer looked at their hands, her face flushed pink when he did so. Feeling his calloused hand squeeze hers ever so often. "Thank you." She mumbled. Shane grinned "no problem."
10 minutes had passed before they had arrived on the farmer's front doorstep. Shane holding her hand the whole way and letting go once they stepped foot in front of her door. She wouldn't admit that she didn't want his hand to leave her when he let go. The farmer looked at her door and then looked at Shane.
Shane smiled down to her "well. It's getting late, huh? I should probably be getting back, and you probably need to sleep as well." The farmer bit her lip slightly, she didn't want to see him go, but she also didn't want to be needy as to ask him to stay. He watched her facial expression and saw her chewing at her lip and not being able to find the words. It worried him whenever she got like this. He could tell her mind was full, and he knew she struggled to be alone like this. "would you like me to stay?" He hesitantly asked, not knowing if it was the right thing to ask or not, but apparently it was because she nodded faster than he could finish his thought.
Shane smiled and nodded back. A mutual understanding that she needed him there right now, just as he had needed her back when he was struggling.
The farmer led him inside and closed to door behind the two of them. Almost instantly the farmer's cat had scurried over to Shane and was begging for affection. Shane chuckled to himself and crouched down, gently petting to cat. "I see someone missed me, huh? I missed you too" he said with a grin. The farmer smiled seeing his cute interaction. He was always good with animals, and she found it sweet.
Shane stood back up and looked down at her "you must be tired. I know what it's like to have your head so full that you struggle to talk or think. C'mon, let's get you to bed." And with that he held the farmer's hand loosely, pulling her to bed.
Shane has stayed in the house before, but he usually always sleeps on the couch in her living room. He never wanted to make her uncomfortable. Tonight felt different though.
"Do you mind holding me until I fall asleep?" She asked. Shane blushed deeply at the question, not expecting to hear it. But he nodded and reassuringly grinned. "Of course. After you stayed with me in the hospital after that day on the cliffs? Anything."
The farmer smiled, and he took that as a good thing. Her smile always made him feel warm inside, he enjoyed it much more than seeing her upset. But he wasn't going to leave when she was upset.
Shane had gotten into the bed first, resting his back against the headboard as he patted the spot next to him. "C'mere, sunshine." He said with reassurance and comfort in his tone.
The farmer didn't hesitate to go into bed and immediately her head was rested in his lap as he put one arm around her to rub her back gently. After an hour or so he had moved. Shane moved down so he was closer to her, pulling her into his arms and resting his head on her shoulder. The farmer still wasn't fully asleep, but laying like this made it feel easier. She felt protected and safe, like her mind was finally getting a break. Even if it was just for a night. Shane enjoyed this as well, more than he'd like to admit.
If you went back to a year or so ago and told Shane he'd be enjoying holding the farmer as she fell asleep in his arms, he'd call you crazy and tell you to fuck off. But the times has changed, and he was glad they did. Shane never did end up moving that whole night. He stayed with her in his arms, occasionally rubbing her back or resting his stubbled chin against her so she knew it was him and that she was safe. The farmer had never slept better. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't sleep just as nicely as she did.