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Published:
2023-03-31
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789
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Harry Potter - song fic

Summary:

Harry Potter song fic to "Who i am" by Citizen Soldier

I basically heard that song and thought that Harry was in a position that kinda fit to the vibe of the song

4th year summer

Not beta read I have no idea if that all makes sense lmao

Work Text:

//As these judging eyes surround me//

I know that there are some wizards or witches watching me, guarding me.

//And silence tearing me apart//

But why won't they speak to me?
Ask me if I'm fine, I have seen someone die and that is not the first time. Is that normal?

//Only seeing to the surface
They refuse to see my heart//

Are thay just like the others and refuse to believe me that he is back?
I wonder if the whole of Wizarding England thinks that I am lying they probably got the front page of the profet to tell the public that I am a liar who shouldn't be trusted.

//In this mould that they have made me
Tried so hard to fit in tight//

Once I was better that Dudley in school and immediately I was forced to be dumber than my cousin.

//Every day's a punishment
For being human, but the wrong kind//

I didn't even realy know why I was being punished. Now I do know, it just was because they hated the magical part of me that I had no control over.

//All their heavy words I carry
Try to grind them down to dust
But the pile's getting so deep
Pretty soon it's gonna bury us//

Everyone expects something different from me and I feel like I will snap sometime and just be me.

//I see two paths that sit before me
The decision's mine to make
Do I wear the mask and follow//

But snap once it gets to much to handle

//Or pay the price of bеing brave?//

I could of course try to be me now and let myself out.
Would it be worth it?

//These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death
That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy, maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
Of being who I am//

Who I am made to be.

//No need to say that I'm immoral//

As if I would lie about such critical things like a child dying or Voldemort returning.

//No need to tell me I'm a freak//

I got told that often enough that it doesn't have such a big effect on me now.

//Don't waste your breath, you made that more than clear
In the way you looked at me//

Realy I just came out of the maze hunched over a dead body and crying. And that words I said were disregarded even if I could give evidence that that realy happened but no I am jut a child, let us forget how Harry Potter saved us 13 years ago or just saved the school two years in a row. I am just a child ho doesn't understand what I have seen with my own eyes.

//The only choices that you give me
Two different ways I can be killed
Hate my life for being fake
Or hate myself for being real//

That is the real problem isn't it? I don't like my current self but I don't know my real me.

//These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death//

More like emotional wounds and scars, but why is it always me who sees someone dying?

//That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy, maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
(Of being who I am)//

Ever since I learned about what happened to my parents I disgused myself to be who they expected me to be. Even a little Griffendor boy who gets pushed around. But I am tired and I want to be free, I want to be me, but I can't they will always think that I am insane and the death of Cedric is the reason.

//Every day I wanna die, but nobody helps//

Maybe I can be with my parents again and it will all be alright, then I can apologize to Cedric and hav a Family like I always wanted to have.

//'Cause they're too busy praying, I'll be someone else
Every day is full of pain that they have never felt
But they're too busy praying, I'll be someone else//

We're back here, should I be myself or not? That is the big question.

//These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death
That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy, maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
Of being who I am//