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Jesper woke with a start, hoping it wasn't Kaz at his door. It was too goddamn early for Kaz's antics. By the lack of light streaming in through the window, it was still the middle of the night. Jesper grumbled a few curses, before heaving himself out of bed. He nearly tripped on his discarded day clothes, and swore again. Eventually, he reached the door, and thrust it open, ready to scold Kaz for waking him.
Instead of Kaz at the door though, it was Wylan. He looked disheveled. His copper curls were mussed, like he had just been asleep. He wore a plain white linen night shirt, and checkered pajama pants. He looked especially adorable, and for an instant, Jesper fantasized about waking up with Wylan in his arms.
His merchling. His Wylan. Although Jesper was definitely not new to the world of romance, things were different with Wylan. There was no pressure to be something he wasn't. There was no forced mask of sexy confidence that there was in the Barrel. With Wylan, he felt... hell, he felt loved. He trusted Wylan with all his heart. He would live for him. He would die for him. He would heal for him.
“Jes?” Wylan said, taking a tiny step forward.
Jesper closed the space between them, embracing Wylan in a tight hug.
“Hey Merchling,” he said into Wylan's curls. Wylan's hands snaked up Jesper's back, returning the embrace. Jesper pressed a kiss onto the top of Wylan's messy curls.
“What's up?” Jesper asked softly, not breaking apart from his boyfriend.
“I had a nightmare. I watched you die. I know it's stupid, but I wanted to see you” said Wylan, gently breaking their embrace. He looked up at Jesper with such exhaustion in his eyes. Jesper pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, and then his cheek.
“That's okay, love. It's not stupid. I get them too. Cmere,” he said, taking Wylan's hand and leading him to the bed. Jesper sat down, gesturing for Wylan to join him. Wylan sat down next to him, laying his head against Jesper's shoulder. They sat like that for a moment, neither of them wanting to break the comfortable silence. Finally, Jesper broke it.
“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”
Wylan looked at him wide eyed, a blush creeping up on his cheeks, when Jesper realized his mistake.
“Fuck. I mean do you want to sleep here. Not like that. Oh Saints. I didn't mean it like that. I mean—”
Wylan cut him off with a short kiss.
“It's okay Jes. I know what you mean.”
Heat crept up his cheeks, and he hoped that Wylan couldn't tell. Wylan gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, and pressed their foreheads together.
“The answer is yes, by the way. I would love that.”
Jesper laid down on his side, and let Wylan join him. He hesitated for a second, before crawling into Jesper's arms. Jesper didn't wait. He curled his arms around Wylan, pressing his face into his love's messy curls. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, then moved down so he could pepper Wylan's face with soft, gentle kisses.
Eventually, he reached Wylan's lips. They were as soft as they had been earlier that day. Their kisses were slow and gentle, each knowing that they had all the time in the world to be together. Even though they logistically didn't, they felt like they did. The world reduced down to just Wylan and him. Nothing else mattered besides the feeling of Wylan pressed against him, hands in his hair, on his back, his neck.
It felt so good to be able to go as slowly as he wanted, with no rush to be someone he wasn't. Back on the farm, he'd had one boyfriend before leaving, and he hadn't been able to go slowly since then, It was kind of sad really- the expectations of the Barrel. There was no room to go slowly. To enjoy the sensuality of it. Sure it was fun, but there was rarely ever a strong emotional connection. And for Jesper, whenever there had been a strong connection, things had not ended well. Eventually, people got scared of his negative qualities and left. While he was no stranger to romance, he was also no stranger to heartbreak.
“Jes?” Wylan said, breaking their kiss.
“Yes love,” Jesper whispered, giving Wylan a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“You know you don't have to stay with me, right? You could do so much better. I mean—”
Jesper cut him off with a kiss.
“Don't start that. I want you, and only you. I love you, Wy. That's never going to change.”
“But-”
“No. Nothing you can say will change how I feel about you.”
“Thank you Jes,” he murmured. “And I love you too.”
A static silence filled the room as they gazed into each other's eyes. Wylan's gaze drifted down to Jesper's lips, and then the two were kissing again. It was nice. Soft. Gentle. Eventually, Wylan pulled away.
“As much as I love this, we do need to sleep. Kaz will kill us if we're sleep deprived and mess up tomorrow.”
“I hate that you're right. That hypocritical bastard. He probably hasn't gotten a full night's sleep in his life,” Jesper said with a laugh.
Wylan laughed, and moved down to tuck his head into the space between Jesper's throat and his chest.
Leaving one arm to support Wylan's head, he nestled his other hand in Wylan's gorgeous curls. Wylan had one hand thrown over Jesper, gripping the shirt at his back.
It took a while, but eventually Wylan fell asleep. Jesper could feel his breathing slow, and eventually even out into a steady rhythm. Jesper took longer to fall asleep. His mind just wouldn't be quiet. Eventually though, he drifted off to sleep.
***
Ow. Jesper Groaned, swatting the cane away. Why in Ghenzen's name could Kaz not be gentle when waking someone up? He opened his eyes and turned, seeing Kaz's menacing figure standing over him.
“Get up Jesper. We have a lot to get done,” Kaz said. He raised his cane to poke Wylan, but Jesper stopped him.
“Please let me wake him up. He had a bit of a rough night last night.”
Kaz glared, before relenting. “You have five minutes. If you don't get him up by then, I'm going to manage it.”
Kaz left, and Jesper waited until the clicking of his cane retreated down the hallway before turning his attention to Wylan. He was still pressed against Jesper's chest, and somehow still asleep. Jesper pressed a kiss to the top of his head, then moved back and kissed his forehead. Wylan began to stir, but didn't wake up.
“Wy,” he said. “Wylan.”
Wylan groaned, tucking himself closer to Jesper. He began to stroke Wylan's hair softly.
“If you don't get up, Kaz is going to come in here and get you up.”
That got him awake. He opened his bleary eyes, and looked at Jesper. He let out a tiny whimper, and tucked his face into Jesper's chest again.
“How long do we have before he comes back?” he asked, clearly not wanting to get up.
“About four minutes,” Jesper answered, still playing with Wylan's hair.
“Well that just means I can cuddle you for four more minutes,” said Wylan, nuzzling Jesper playfully.
They didn't break apart until they heard a knock at the door.
“I wasn't kidding Jesper,” said Kaz, his tone bitter,
“We're up,” Jesper lied.
Begrudgingly, Jesper got up, and Wylan followed suit. While the following day would be tough, Jesper knew that at the end of it, Wylan would be there. They could wake up like this every morning; entangled in each other's arms. Jesper couldn't wait. Briefly, he fantasized about waking up with Wylan in his arms, and not having to get up so quickly. He imagined the sunshine streaming in through the window, illuminating Wylan's beautiful face. He had been right before. He definitely liked that stupid face.