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“I think I might be in love.”
Ike drops his cookie on the ground. It crumbles everywhere, bits and pieces flying all over the tiles as Ike stares blankly at Shu.
“You’ve known him two days,” Ike says slowly. “Do you have a fever?”
Shu rolls his eyes, grabbing a bunch of tissues off the counter and going on his knees, picking up the crumbs from the ground. Ike swears, realizing the mess he’s made, and scrambles to help as well.
“I do not have a fever,” Shu grumbles. “I know what I feel.”
“Cardiac arrest is what it is,” Ike mutters under his breath. “What are you in love with? The way he talks? The way he walks? The way he’s taller than you?”
“Those help. They help a lot, actually. But it’s—he’s nice, Ike. And I haven’t only known him for two days.”
Ike sits back, long limbs sprawling over the ground as he leans back against the kitchen cupboards. He balls up the crumb-stained tissues in his hand and gives Shu a judgmental look.
“I was there when he ran into you. When you spilled coffee all over him and he waved it off. When you tried to pat the stain down with wipes and failed, impressively so, and when you asked for his number so you could send the jumper to the dry cleaners. And I suppose you got to talking.”
Shu scrubs harder at the floor, pretending his ears aren’t flushed a bright red. “And we got to talking. As people do.”
“And two days is all it takes to fall in love, is it?”
“I know it took you three years to figure out you liked Vox, but some of us are more in touch with our emotions than you,” Shu snarks, giving Ike a droll look.
Ike holds his gaze for a heartbeat, then throws his head back in laughter. “Fair enough. It didn’t help that he just let me muddle along. But two days? I’d accept a few months, maybe even a few weeks if you claimed to be ‘soulmates’ or whatever nonsense, but days—are you trying to speedrun a Hallmark movie?”
“This is not a Hallmark movie,” Shu insists. He pauses, words rolling around on his tongue, and he looks away to stare at a spot on the ground. “But we did—I—we’ve known each other. Before. We used to be neighbors when we were kids.”
“Oh,” Ike says. “Oh, it’s that neighbor.”
“I’ve had tons of neighbors. Luca’s just—one of them. One of many.”
“Nuh-uh. I know exactly why it only took you two days to fall in love with him now. My God, Shu, this is your chance! This is your actual, honest-to-God, Hallmark movie chance! Childhood sweethearts from a backwater town who grew up and apart, reuniting in university—I should write this into a script and sell the rights to HBO.”
“You will do nothing of the sort!” Shu protests, turning around. “And he’s not—we’re not—there was no childhood sweetheart. It was just me, being delusional, and Luca was just…”
Shu waves his hand around, trying to pour his emotion into that loose body movement.
“You made him a ring.”
“Out of paper! I was five!”
“I need to tell Vox,” Ike declares. “This is riveting news. Thank God for you, Shu, or my holidays would be boring as hell.”
==
The worst part about seeing Luca again is that he doesn’t feel like a stranger. They should feel like strangers—it’s been over a decade since they’ve even seen each other—but Luca perks up in the exact same way whenever he catches sight of Shu, and Shu’s heartbeat falls back into the stumbling rhythm he had as a child.
“We need to catch up on so much!” Luca says excitedly, sliding a drink over to Shu. “I didn’t know what you wanted so I got two types of drinks, one sweet and one less sweet—let me know which one you prefer and I’ll just get the other!”
Shu tries very hard not to swoon. He doesn’t succeed, knees a little weak as he sinks into the chair opposite Luca.
“I’ll take the latte,” he says gratefully, and Luca slides it over to him. The drink is warm and Shu takes a slow sip of it, savoring the flavor. When he looks up, mid-drink, he locks eyes with Luca across the table—Luca has one elbow propped on the table, slightly leaning forward as he rests his cheek on his palm and smiles at Shu.
Shu swallows and sets the cup down. He is very proud of how he sets the cup down gently, instead of clanging it against the saucer.
“You’ve got—” Luca presses his thumb to his lips, and Shu immediately feels for his mouth, trying to remove whatever lingering foam there is on his lips. This is embarrassing, extremely embarrassing, and Shu is about to pull out his phone’s camera to check his reflection when Luca stands, leaning across the table, and touches the pad of his thumb to the top of Shu’s lips.
Shu stays very, very still, and Luca eventually sits back down. There’s a brief, heart-stopping moment where Shu thinks Luca is going to lick the foam off his thumb, but all Luca does is take a napkin and wipe it off.
Luca must see something in Shu’s posture when he looks back up; the smile falls off the man’s lips, and uncertainty creeps across his face. “Did I make you uncomfortable? Sorry, I just moved without thinking.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Shu says hurriedly, bursting back into motion. “I was just taken aback. No one’s… I’ve never really let anyone be that physically close to me.”
“Really? But you always let me hug you when we were younger!” Luca laughs. “And you’d follow around behind me, always holding my hand as we ran throughout our backyards!”
“Yes,” Shu mutters, flushing a brilliant scarlet. “You’re different.”
“I’m glad you made more friends, Shu.” Luca’s eyes catch the light falling through the window, and Shu gets distracted watching the way the sunlight frames Luca’s hair. Like gold, spun from a wheel, and Shu wishes he was close enough to run his hands through those locks. “You weren’t a super talkative kid, and you stuck close to me a lot… I won’t lie, I was nervous when you moved away because I wasn’t sure if you could make other friends.”
“You were nervous?” Shu asks, bewildered. “I just remember crying all the time. And you kept telling me it was going to be okay.”
“I was crying just as much as you!” Luca points out, but Shu doesn’t remember. All he remembers is sobbing, bawling his eyes out as he tried to cling onto Luca, and refusing to get into the car. He remembers Luca’s arms wrapped around him, hands patting his back as Luca tried to comfort him—he doesn’t remember Luca crying.
“Did you really?”
“I cried for days after you moved away,” Luca says easily, as if there’s no shame in confessing a secret like that. His broad shoulders shift as he shrugs, and Shu’s fingers tap nervously against the table as he does his best to not stare too obviously.
It’s difficult not to stare. When Luca looks like that.
Shu gulps, focusing his gaze on Luca’s glass. It’s a frappuccino, complete with whipped cream and sprinkles. It looks sickly sweet, but Luca drinks it because Shu chose the latte. Because Luca is generous, and selfless, and everything Shu remembers him being, and Shu doesn’t know what to do with himself. He just wants to launch himself across the table and tuck himself into Luca’s chest and refuse to leave.
“We should’ve kept in touch,” Shu mutters. “But my mom lost the paper that your mom wrote your new house’s number on.”
Luca blinks. “Oh,” he says, sitting upright. His eyes are wide, fingers clasped across his lap as he looks at Shu. “Is that why you never called?”
Shu stares back, just as surprised. “I—Luca, you thought I didn’t call on purpose?”
“I—” Luca runs a hand through his hair, flicking strands behind his ear, “—I don’t know. I guess I just thought… maybe you changed your mind about keeping in touch. I didn’t blame you. It was just a bit weird, I guess. But you’re here now. Like fate brought you back to me.”
He smiles, the tiniest curve of his lips, and Shu bites his lip.
“Do you have a room on campus?” Shu asks all of a sudden, and Luca nods. “Is it a single, or are you sharing?”
“Single. Ticked the wrong box on the form, and now I have to pay extra for the whole semester.”
“Good.” Shu stands, taking his cup from the table and draining the rest of it in one go. He’s about to do something so bold that it would make Ike collapse into hysterics for hours after hearing what he’s done. “Let’s go to your room. I’ve got a million things I want to tell you.”
Luca stares up at him, mouth open, then scrambles to finish the rest of his drink.
==
“You know, I judged you for your sudden and very abrupt declaration of falling in love with your estranged childhood friend, but it appears that it might be reciprocated. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react to that.”
Shu’s shoulders hunch up, pressing against the edge of his ears. “It is not reciprocated. Luca’s just being nice. And friendly. He’s always been friendly.”
“You’ve practically moved into his dorm for the past week,” Ike tells him. “I don’t see him extending that invitation to anyone else.”
Shu flushes. It’s true. Ike’s right, Luca doesn’t treat anyone else the way he treats Shu, and Shu can’t help but notice it. He thought he was delusional, seeing things that aren’t there—seeing intentions that aren’t there—but now Ike is affirming his thoughts. That maybe it… isn’t all in his head.
It’s not hard, see, to fall back into love with Luca. In fact, it’s the easiest thing in the world. All Shu has to do is just look at Luca and it’s done; Shu blinks and his hands are bloody, cradling a beating heart that he carved out his chest to hand to Luca.
Sometimes it’s embarrassing to think about. Eleven years and all Shu can do is still be hung up on Luca, a ghost from a childhood long left behind.
“You should invite him to our Christmas party,” Ike says idly, then pointedly gives Shu a look. “As a friend or as a significant other, we aren’t picky. But I’ll warn you that we all know.”
“You told them?!”
“I didn’t. You were just very obvious.”
Shu buries his head in his hands. This is a nightmare. He is not going to invite Luca to meet all of his friends who, apparently, know damn well that Shu is heads over heels for him!
“I can’t,” Shu says, and that’s the end of that conversation until he’s lounging on Luca’s bed, typing away at his laptop, with Luca’s arm slung around his shoulders, and Luca opens his fat mouth.
“Do you have any plans for Christmas?” Luca asks, not even taking his eyes off the show he’s watching on his tablet.
Shu stiffens. He can’t help it! Just the thought of Christmas leads to that invitation from Ike, which leads to whatever this is between Luca and him, which leads to—disaster.
Luca glances at him. “You okay? Was that a weird question?”
“I’m fine.” Shu clears his throat. “I’ll be having… a party with some of my friends. And I’ll be flying back on the 28th to spend New Years with my family. What about you?”
“I’m free,” Luca says casually. “I’ve already told my parents I plan on going back the first week of January, so I don’t really have anything on my calendar. Hey!” He shifts, turning to face Shu properly. “Do you think your parents would mind if I come and pay a visit?”
Shu sits up. “You want to see them?”
“Yeah! I haven’t seen Auntie and Uncle in years, are they still doing well? I mean, you’ve told me they’re doing well, but are they actually doing well or were you just being polite on the first meeting with me?”
Shu twists his fingers in the sheets. Luca gives him this bright-eyed, earnest look, and Shu can almost pretend Luca wants to go home and meet his parents in a different capacity. As… as… more than a friend.
“They should be okay with it. And you can bunk in my room, like old times.”
“Great! Have you booked your flight ticket? Never mind, I’ll start checking prices—”
Luca turns back to his tablet, closing Netflix and searching for cheap plane tickets to Shu’s country.
Shu sits there, nerves bubbling in his gut as he rolls the words around on his tongue. Does he say it? Does he dare? It’s just a ‘friends’ thing, right? He can invite Luca in a friendly manner and it wouldn’t be weird.
“Luca,” Shu says slowly. “Do you want to come meet my friends at our Christmas party?”
Luca immediately perks up. “Can I? That’d be fun! I can’t wait to meet all your friends, Shu!”
Right, Shu thinks, nodding along. He just has to get the next question out. The syllables are already forming on the top of his tongue, he just has to spit them out.
Do you—Can we—Would you like to—
“Mistletoe,” Shu says stupidly. “There’ll be mistletoe. It’s a silly tradition. Will you… mind?”
“No, I won’t mind.” Luca leans in, close enough that Shu feels his breath catch, eyes already fluttering close in case something happens. But there’s just a warm hand on his head, stroking through his strands, and Shu presses up into it.
“I’m really happy, Shu,” Luca murmurs, voice strangely soft. “I’m really happy that you invited me. I’d love to meet your friends.”
“You can introduce me to your friends too,” Shu says in a quiet voice. “I want to meet them.”
“I will. Maybe after the New Year. I’ll organize something and introduce you to all of them!”
“Okay.” Shu nods, leaning in to rest his head on Luca’s shoulder. It’s almost habitual by now, after he woke up and realized he napped on Luca’s shoulder for the fifth time. “I’ll look forward to it.”
==
Vox stares very blatantly at Luca when they first meet.
“Sheesh,” Vox whistles, stepping back and letting them through. “You weren’t kidding with the brick wall description.”
“I never kid!” Ike yells out from somewhere in the kitchen.
“Nice to meet you.” Vox extends a hand to Luca, who grasps it firmly. They lock eyes for a while, and Shu glances between the two of them. He can sense that they’re sizing each other up, putting the other through some sort of unspoken vetting process, but he doesn’t know what exactly they’re looking for.
Whatever it is, they must be able to find it, because smiles pop back onto their faces and they let go of each other’s hands. Vox stretches out an arm for Shu to dump his coat into, and Luca presses a warm palm into the small of his back; the heat soaks through the sweater he’s wearing and Shu can’t help the way he sinks back into it.
“You’re Vox, right? Shu’s told me a lot about you guys!”
“All pleasant things, I hope,” Vox replies charmingly. “We’ve heard quite a bit about you as well. The childhood friend that Shu thought he’d never see again. We were all rooting for the two of you to become friends again, you know?”
“Oh, of course!” Luca nods his head, and laughs when Shu has to steer him into the correct room. “It wasn’t hard. Shu’s like… a missing puzzle piece, you know? It was easy to fall back into old habits with him.”
Easy. Old habits. Shu’s ears are crimson, and he ducks his head from embarrassment. Luca catches sight of this and laughs again, his arm moving up to curve around Shu’s shoulders instead.
“That’s embarrassing,” Shu complains.
“But it’s true!” Luca defends. “And you’re cute when you’re embarrassed!”
Vox gets this incredibly knowing look on his face, and Shu finds himself unable to even look at Vox’s general direction for the next hour and a half.
But it really is easy. Luca joins his friends seamlessly, as if he was always there to begin with. When dinner is done, they move to the couch, and Shu finds himself tucked into Luca’s side, under an arm, while Luca’s free hand holds on to an open bottle of soju that they share between themselves.
Ike raises his eyebrows at Shu, and Shu hides his face in Luca’s shirt.
It doesn’t take long for Shu to get sleepy. Alcohol always tires him out, and he sits there drowsily. The conversation drifts in and out of his mind as Shu plays with a stray thread on Luca’s jumper—the ugliest thing he’s ever set eyes on, by the way, but Luca insisted on buying it after Shu pointed it out—and he’s content to just stay like that until Luca starts to shift.
“Bathroom,” Luca whispers. “Do you know where it is or should I ask Vox?”
“I know,” Shu tells him, bobbing his head obediently. “Come on.”
He points at the direction of the bathroom when they stand, and Vox gives him an amused look. “Don’t get lost on your way there, Shu.”
“I won’t,” Shu insists, and holds Luca’s hand carefully as he leads Luca to the bathroom.
He waits outside. The house isn’t big; Luca can probably find his way back to the living room easily, but Shu wants to stay. He wants to wait for Luca. He’s spent enough of his life waiting for Luca to walk back into his life; he can wait a little longer.
When the door opens, Shu straightens from his lounging position against the wall. He turns, preparing to go back, but a damp hand clutches at his wrist and pulls him backwards.
Shu whirls around, full of dazed confusion as he stares at Luca.
“Look,” Luca says, and points up.
Shu looks up.
His heartbeat trips over itself.
“Mistletoe,” Luca continues. “It’s a tradition, right?”
There’s that carefree smile on his face. Shu wants—he wants to—he wants to seize the moment and lean in and kiss Luca because he doesn’t think he’ll ever get another chance like this again, but—
Shu breathes out, a shaky, tremulous thing. He wants Luca. He wants Luca badly. He doesn’t want this to be a drunken kiss below the mistletoe at a friend’s house party. He’d rather never know the taste of Luca’s mouth than learn it and be forced to forget it.
“Shu,” Luca murmurs, close enough that Shu can feel his breath on his lips. “Can I kiss you?”
Shu swallows past the knot in his throat. “Is this… is this going to be a one time thing?”
Luca laughs. It’s a low, dizzying sound, and Shu feels like he’s being swept off his feet by sound alone.
“I paid for flight tickets to see your parents, Shu,” he says. “Does that sound like a one time thing?”
“I thought—weren’t you just being nice?” Shu asks, bewildered and distracted, then he’s distracted by something else entirely because Luca’s lips are soft and taste sweet, like grape soju, and Shu’s fingers are tangled in Luca’s hair and Luca’s hands are on his waist, creeping up beneath his sweater, and Shu thinks he could melt.
“Merry Christmas, Shu,” Luca breathes, forehead pressed against Shu’s own.
“Merry Christmas, Luca,” Shu says, and goes back in for another kiss.
At the back of his mind, Ike’s snide voice tells him, I told you this was a Hallmark movie.