Work Text:
"I know you're cheating on me, Jack. Who's the other woman"
Jane always figured that the "late nights at the office" would catch up with her, but she didn't think it would be this soon. It was Sofia, Jane and Erin's daughter's, birthday, and after the celebration of the party Erin and Jane had had a few drinks. Erin still wasn't aware that Jane was a woman, Jane hadn't worked up the courage yet.
"What are you talking about honey? I love you, I'd never have an affair."
"Cut the bullshit, Jack. We're adults: treat me like one and tell me the truth"
"Honey…" Jane replied solemnly. She knew that if she lied now everything would be irrevocably fucked, but the truth could do that too. She thought she might as well take a chance though
"Well, it's not a woman." Erin looked disappointed but not surprised. "You remember how I was trying to get Dunk Accino for that DnD commercial last Thanksgiving?"
"Oh" whatever her "husband" saw in Dunk, she knew she wouldn't be able to provide.
"Let's just say that the commercial wasn't the only thing I was courting him for." Jane tried to make a joke. Try to make it go down easier.
There was a long pause.
"So. You're bi? Lots of people are bi. It's 2013" Erin was really hopeful that they could patch things up, make everything better.
"I love men Erin. I mean I love you, just not like that. I'm…" Jane took a deep breath, the words choking in her throat
"You're what?" Erin wanted to make “him” say it
"I'm straight."
"How can you be straight?! You're fucking Dunk Accino!"
"I'm a woman, Erin. I have always been a woman. I'm 40 whatever years old, it's time I started being myself; not who my parents wanted me to be."
Erin cried.
Jane cried.
"What are we going to do?" Said Erin. "How do we get through this"
"It's Hollywood. People get divorced all the time".
~~~
In hindsight, Jane probably shouldn't have been so cavalier about the divorce.
The asset side of things was pretty simple - Erin got half of everything, except the house which Jane agreed to give to her considering she was now living in a fucking mansion. Seeing as Jane was still working at the advertisement agency and was the primary breadwinner, Jane was also paying her a sizable alimony payment. It wasn't great but that's divorce. The real problem was the kids. Over the course of the proceedings, the couple really started hating each other. They got into petty arguments that turned into large arguments, and it bled over to the kids. They kept trying to one up each other, and a very poorly thought out impromptu vacation with her, Dunk, and the kids, led to what can basically only be seen as kidnapping in the eyes of the law, and that plus the infidelity plus a Republican judge meant that when it was time to decide custody rights, Erin got full custody. Those kinds of things always work out better in comedies starring Adam Sandler than on real life. Dunk was there through all of this, but it was emotionally draining for him watching the love of his life go through an emotional rollercoaster, and there was only so much that mind-blowing sex from the greatest living actor could do.
~~~
Jane was feeling pretty depressed. She’d been crying a lot more now that she’d been on hormones for 3 months, but Dunk knew that there was more to it, and he knew what that more was. How could he not? They’d only been dating a year now, but Dunk could read her like he could read Italian. Really fucking well. Losing custody of your kids isn’t something anyone can take lightly, but it’s hard when the only thing you’ve done “wrong” is being yourself. The infidelity was also pretty important I guess. Jane was hardly eating, she claimed it was so that she’d lose weight so the fat could redistribute in a few months, but that was only a half truth. She just didn’t feel like being alive any more.
Dunk called Jill, Jane’s beautiful sister, over a video call. Some new technology called Skype.
‘I just don’t know what to do anymore. She won’t sleep, she won’t eat, she won’t see anyone. We don’t even sleep together any more’
‘Jane’s always been a big baby when she doesn’t get what she wants.’ Jill’s replied, the video focusing on her forehead since she’s way too close to the camera ‘When we were little, Mum used to bribe her with meatballs to get her to do anything.’
‘I’ve tried.’ Dunk said mournfully ‘It’s like she doesn’t want to be happy’
‘How about you give her a big SMACK and tell her to man up. That’s what Dad did when she had to start shaving’
‘I don’t think your parents knew how to look after you two’
‘Yeah’ Jill laughed and her annoying parrot joined in.
‘You know, if she’s sad about losing her kids, why don’t you make some new ones?’
Dunk didn’t know how to respond. This was a really stupid idea, and would never work. But there were other ways to have kids, especially when you have money and connections as Dunk does.
~~~
“You want to have a baby? We’re not even married~ My mother would have a heart attack if she was still alive”
“If you want to get married, we can go to Massetchusus and get married. We’re a family now babe.”
“Adopting a baby won’t make me forget about my kids. We don’t live in Big Daddy (1999) or wherever you got this idea from.”
“Could you at least go to therapy then? For godsakes woman it’s like you’re a ghost. I’ve had it up to here with you” Dunk did a parkour run up the nearest wall to demonstrate how fed up he was
“Why do you think I need to be fixed? I’m not crazy! Losing your kids would make anyone miserable!”
“You’re not well. I’m not saying you’re crazy (though you can be worse things), but I love you and I can’t see you go around every day like a shell of a husk of the woman I love.” Dunk’s voice got really soft “Please. You’re not well. Please, for me. I’ll drop the kid thing, just do this for me”
“I’ll do it for you. But if they make me talk about my childhood or do those ink blots or try convince me I’m not a woman, I’m outta there”
~~~
I’m going to be honest, I’m depressed and don’t feel like writing out the other 1000 words or so this story needs and I don’t really want to split it into a new chapter because then I’d be morally obligated to write the other 1000 words eventually. The gist is that they get married and go public with their relationship. Jane becomes publically trans after a few years. They adopt a kid whom the media nicknames babyccino (A pun that Jill doesn’t get), and things are happily ever after.