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They had to stay late at the office that day, so Kazuma would be accompanying Barok home instead of returning to his place in Sholmes’ apartment. Despite how common such a thing was, it never failed to make Barok feel excited like a little child.
In fact, that man made Barok find joy in the smallest things. From having a meal together, to taking evening walks in his garden, to reading a good book in the same room… Things that once had carried little meaning to him, now were all beloved parts of his day.
As they left the office, Barok pulled out his pocket watch, checking the time. “It is late already. We should have dinner on our way back, so we can rest as soon as we arrive.”
“Sounds good to me,” said Kazuma.
They walked together, close, but not as close as when they were strolling in his garden. Barok couldn’t help but think of how much he wanted to touch him: hold his hand, caress his cheek, kiss his face and lips… He liked to believe that, regardless of what other people said about men such as them, their relationship wasn’t wrong in the eyes of God. Still, sometimes, it was painful to think that they would never be able to experience those small joys that most loving couples took for granted.
They arrived at the restaurant, taking their seats in a more reserved area, where they would be able to at least talk to each other without the fear of being heard.
“This reminds me,” said Kazuma, “Iris asked me to drag you with me tomorrow for dinner with everyone.”
That choice of words amused Barok. “I assure you, no dragging will be necessary.”
“Really? My past experiences say otherwise.”
“I promise I will behave properly this time.”
“You better.”
Kazuma lightly poked his leg with his foot. Without giving himself time to hesitate, Barok reached for Kazuma under the table, placing a hand on his thigh. The gesture made Kazuma smile, and he responded by placing his hand over Barok’s, caressing it with his thumb. A bittersweet feeling spread throughout Barok’s chest.
“I wish we didn’t need to hide it,” he whispered.
“I know,” said Kazuma. “But at least we can have moments like this.”
Barok nodded, then focused his attention on the feeling. Kazuma’s hand wasn’t particularly small, but it always felt that way when Barok held it. He wished he could bring it to his lips and kiss it… Later, he said to himself—they wouldn’t need to be so careful once they were alone.
Compared to that peaceful night he spent with Kazuma, the following evening was quite eventful.
As usual, Gina and Maria joined them for dinner. But that wasn’t all: Ryunosuke and Susato had returned to London just a few weeks before—to properly study, now that Japan had a few new defense attorneys. Even Mikotoba, despite not being able to stay for long, would be spending a few months there as well. This made their gathering much more lively, to the point Barok couldn’t always keep up with the conversation.
But it didn’t bother him. As much as he enjoyed the peace and being alone with his lover, it was a pleasant change to be surrounded by so many people he cared about.
He was sitting on the couch, next to Kazuma, when a small gesture from his partner called his attention: after Barok made a brief comment on his growth as a prosecutor, Kazuma took his hand, giving his palm a brief kiss. It wasn’t the gesture itself that surprised him, however, but how no one in the room seemed bothered, or even surprised by it.
That was when realization finally fell upon him: no one there would judge them or their relationship. Barok had gotten so used to it that it became easy for him to take such a thing for granted—he shouldn’t, though. If he still needed any sign that God himself had blessed their relationship, that small haven in a world that hated people like them should be more than enough.
Barok placed an arm around Kazuma’s waist, pulling him closer. Without surprise or hesitation, Kazuma leaned back against his chest, still laughing alongside the others at something silly Ryunosuke had said. That ease was probably the best part… How no one in the room thought ill of their love and proximity, accepting it—accepting them—without a second thought.
It was a nice feeling… After a lifetime of believing he was fated to be alone for reasons beyond his control, he would never be able to express how happy that quiet acceptance made him feel.
Barok briefly kissed Kazuma’s head, resting his chin on it. Then, he turned his attention back to that conversation, appreciating the company of his loved ones, and the pleasant warmth of Kazuma’s body close to his.