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Spencer Reid had never considered himself one for big, romantic gestures. He preferred to deal with his feelings by pretending they weren’t there. That was how he had been handling his crush on Luke Alvez and how he had been prepared to handle it until his feelings would eventually subside and disappear. However, the universe had different plans for him and instead of his feelings subsiding they just grew and grew until they were inches away from slipping out of his control. They grew with every smile Luke sent in his direction and every time the man watched him in wonder whenever he was rambling on about whatever fact or statistic was stuck in his head at that particular moment. They grew with every brush of shoulders and every kind gesture. Spencer was so hopelessly,head over heels for Luke that it hurt and yet, he had been prepared to take the secret with him to the grave. He was terrified of rejection, of having to force Luke to let him down in that kind and gentle way he knew he would.
But then Louis Chaycon happened and Spencer had been beyond terrified. He hadn’t been able to breathe properly until Luke and Matt had been safely brought back from that horrible warehouse they had been held at. The sight of the bruise on Luke’s face had caused Spencer’s heart to ache and his hazel eyes to flash with anger and he knew that if Chaycon hadn’t been dead yet, he would have gratefully killed him himself.
While they had flown back to Quantico, Spencer hadn’t dared to take his eyes off of Luke- scared that if he looked away the man would slip away again. He was so relieved that the man was there, alive and safe. When they had parted ways at the office, Spencer had hugged Luke a few seconds longer than he normally would but then Luke had disappeared into his car and drove off and Spencer had gone back home to his own apartment, alone with his thoughts and his feelings and the what if’s and he hadn’t been able to handle it anymore.
-
Spencer rang the doorbell to Luke Alvez’s apartment a little past two at night. He was soaked, his clothes sticking to his body. It had been pouring outside, the rain coming down in buckets.He was soaked to the bone, curls sticking to his forehead. He knew Luke was still awake, light from his living room still coming in through the small gap in the curtains. He heard the nails of Rosy’s paws against the wooden floor coming closer and then the door opened to a shirtless Luke Alvez, sweatpants hanging low from his hips. He looked as if he had recently showered. Compared to Luke, Spencer looked like a mess.
Roxy pushed past him, pressing her wet snoot against Spencer’s knee and wagging her tail.
“Hi girl,” Spencer whispered, reaching down to scratch her behind her left ear. Now that he was actually here, standing in front of Luke he didn’t know what to say. He wished the ground would swallow him whole. What had he been thinking?
“Spencer-” Luke’s voice brought him back to the present. “What are you doing here? Come inside. Are you okay? You must be freezing.”
“A bit,” Spencer said sheepishly. He stepped inside and shrugged off his soaked jacket, gratefully handing it off to Luke who put it on a coat hanger so it could dry, or attempt to dry at least.
“Is everything alright?” Luke watched him, head cocked to the side. “Sst, Roxy- girl, go lay down,” he said to his dog who made her way back into the living room. Spencer could hear her shuffling around in there, probably getting comfortable on either the couch or her dog bed.
“Yes, uhm-” Spencer folded his hands together in front of him. “Uhm- How are you? After everything that happened? I know you said you were fine but-” Why couldn’t Luke be wearing a shirt? It would be so much easier to focus if he was wearing a t-shirt.
“Oh, I am fine Reid, I’ve been through worse.” Luke sent him a smile. “I am just glad both Matt and I got out of there in one piece. I mean, I can’t really sleep, but I think we’ve all been there before,” he said, waving his hands around aimlessly.
“Good,” Spencer shuffled his feet a little on the welcome mat, unable to meet his eyes.
“Is that the only reason you came here? Do you want to sit down? Have a drink?” Luke asked.
Spencer shook his head. “No uhm- I uh, don’t know if that’s a good idea. I need to tell you something.” He didn’t want to have to go through the whole awkward process of taking off his shoes, getting comfortable with a drink, being rejected and then having to do the whole awkward getting up and leaving thing again. No, he would much rather be able to make a quick, smooth escape.
“Oh, of course.” Luke sent him one of those sweet smiles that always made Spencer weak to his knees.
“Uhm-” Spencer ran a hand through his soaked curls, hating the way some of the messy locks were sticking to his forehead. He tried to brush them away but it didn’t help. “For once I don’t know what to say, which doesn’t happen to me often. I am normally very good with words.”
“The first time we met you completely threw me off guard. I had heard so many amazing things about you. The whole team spoke nothing, but positive words about you- aside from maybe Penelope. I had created this image of you in my head and then I actually met you and you exceeded every expectation I had created in my mind.”
“You are sweet and kind and you actually listen to me. There have been very few people in my life with whom I’ve felt like I could be one hundred percent, unapologetically myself with and you’re one of them. You protected me when you barely even knew me. After prison, you made me feel as if I was still me, as if I was still worthy of friendship and love and happiness. You became one of my closest friends.”
“I guess it’s normal for people to start feeling like family when we constantly have to fight for our lives, protect each other and trust each other in ways other people can’t even imagine, but you- I can’t help, but want more with you. I never meant to tell you any of this because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I didn’t want you to have to look at me and let me down gently because god, you’re way too kind for anything else.”
Spencer didn’t dare to meet Luke’s eyes, instead looking at a very interesting spot of dirt on his left shoe, his lip tucked between his teeth.
“But then today I thought I had lost you, forever. When I heard about the ambush and that you were missing, it felt as if my entire world stopped and I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe until I knew that you were safe. I have missed so many opportunities in life because I’ve been too scared. I have lost people before I got to say the words that I needed to say and I can’t go through that again. I don’t want to be afraid of not getting to say what I need to say to you.”
“I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind ever since I met you. I can’t stop thinking about your laugh and your voice. You’re the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before I fall asleep. Whenever I get scared I imagine you being there with me because you bring me such comfort. You are one of my best friends, but I can’t help, but want more. I want to wake up next to you and hold you and kiss you and be yours and I know that you don’t feel that way about me and that-”
“Spencer-”
Spencer shook his head. “No, Luke, you don’t have to apologize. I understand. I am me and you are you and we don’t- People like you aren’t interested in people like me and-”
“Spencer.” Luke’s voice cut through the hallway firmer this time.
“Yes?” Spencer almost squeaked as he finally looked up, slowly meeting Luke’s eyes.
Luke was mere inches away from him. When had he gotten this close? Spencer could notice the flecks of gold in his dark brown eyes. His breath hitched in his throat as Luke reached out and rested his hand against his jaw. He felt paralyzed, his whole body on high alert. Luke’s fingers were burning against his skin.
“You’re such an idiot Dr. Spencer Reid,” Luke grinned that crooked smile of his as he did another step closer. “People like me fall in love with people like you all the time,” he whispered.
“What?” Spencer was sure he had actually squeaked that time, his voice coming out a little high pitched and his eyes widened.
Luke shook his head and leaned in, closing the distance between them as he pressed his lips against Spencer’s. His eyes fluttered shut as he melted into the kiss.
For a second Spencer stood there frozen, his arms stiff at his side and his eyes wide open before he answered the kiss with newfound eagerness. His left hand found its way into Luke’s short, cropped hair. His right hand gripped onto his hip, pulling him closer. Luke’s lips felt so much better than he had expected; full and sweet and Spencer could smell his cologne and the hint of his coconut shampoo and it left him dizzy and wanting more.
Luke’s hand fisted Spencer’s wet shirt as he pulled him closer. He smirked into the kiss as he heard the soft whimper which fell from Spencer’s lips.
A sound from outside caused Roxy to barrel into the small hallway at full speed, almost knocking both of them over. Luke pulled away with a breathless laugh, hands steadying Spencer. His eyes flickering up to meet the other man’s eyes and he grinned at how disheveled the normally, well put together genius looked.
“I am not nearly as good with words as you are Spencer, but if the kiss wasn’t obvious enough. I am so into you that it hurts. I have been wanting to kiss you for a very, very long time,” Luke breathed out. “But I counted myself lucky every time you even as much as glanced in my direction. You’re the one I want. You’re the one I’ve always wanted.”
Spencer let out a sigh of relief, his eyes still a little wide in surprise. “Oh-” he whispered before a goofy grin spread out on his face. “I never thought-”
“Neither did I,” Luke admitted with a sheepish grin, reaching for Spencer’s hand. “Stay with me tonight? I know I said that I was fine, but- I think I would like the company.”
“I would like that very much.”
–
Spencer stepped out of Luke’s bathroom. “How do I look?” He half joked. He wore one of Luke’s sweatshirts,, the material hanging loosely around his shoulders, and a pair of black sweatpants. He was convinced he never wanted to take them off. His own clothes were in the bathroom, hanging out to dry. He didn’t mind though, not at all. The clothes smelled like Luke .They were soft and warm and he could easily live in Luke’s sweatshirts forever if given the choice despite them being so far from his personal style.
Luke looked up from his spot on the couch and his eyes widened. Spencer looked so comfortable and warm and he loved the way the man looked in his clothes. The way he looked like he was his and his alone. “You look so good in my clothes,” he breathed out, “come here.”
Spencer did as he was told, his cheeks a little red as he sat down on the couch; a healthy distance away from Luke.
The other man rolled his eyes fondly and reached for Spencer’s arm, carefully pulling him closer. “Come here, you goof.” He wrapped an arm around him.
Spencer practically melted into the touch, his head falling against Luke’s shoulder. His legs tucked up onto the couch. “What were you watching before I interrupted you?” He asked, looking up at the other man. His eyes fell shut as he felt Luke’s fingers begin to brush through his still wet curls. Whenever his nails scraped over his scalp ever so slightly he let out a pleased sigh, content to lay here for the rest of his life.
“Oh, I had just started a random action and adventure movie I found. We can watch something else if you want?” Luke glanced at the television where the movie had been paused seven minutes in. He had wanted something to distract him from the crazy events of the day.
Spencer shook his head. “I am fine with watching it,” he promised. He glanced up when Roxy jumped onto the couch and nuzzled her wet nose against his leg before curling up next to them.
“Thank you,” Luke whispered, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s head. He pressed play on the movie.
“Why are you thanking me?”
Luke glanced down at Spencer for a second. “Because you always know just what I need to feel better. Sometimes you even know what I need before I know what I need. Somehow you are always one step ahead of me.”
Spencer smiled and turned his attention towards the movie playing on the screen. This night had turned out differently than he had expected. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined that it would end up with him, cuddling with Luke Alvez on the couch after sharing their first kiss.
“Oh, and Spencer?”
Spencer looked up with a smile, “yes?”
“I am taking you on a proper date tomorrow.”
“I am looking forward to it.