Work Text:
My hands taking your waist, yours my shoulders. We both danced to the beat of that soft melody, on a quiet beach, alone and completely in the dark.
The moon illuminating our bodies, the shadows copying our movements. We danced, looking at each other, with love.
But... did you ever love me, Brendon?
You seemed to love me... And I, like a complete fool, believed it.
You seemed to, and now I feel sorry for all the sweet words I said to you, for the way I loved you, with desperate love. You have left me with a huge void.
Did you even think about how this would affect me, before doing it?
You know that I loved you with all my being, you know that you were my salvation. And still, you cheated on me. With Ryan-asshole-Ross.
You know I was dependent on you, and I know that clinging totally to you was wrong. But I loved you, too much, Brendon, I really did.
All my love was just for you, my heart belonged to you. Not just my heart, my entire soul. I belonged to you.
I loved everything we did. But mainly dance.
Dance.
I loved dancing all kinds of rhythms and genres with you: from a complex tango, to a moving cuarteto.
I loved watching you dance while you cooked, or did all kinds of activity. I loved watching you dance.
I loved watching you.
You were a perfect work of art in my eyes, a fragile and delicate piece. You were like a sweet melody, a sweet melody that wouldn't leave my head.
And I would be lying if I say that I actually forgot you, even though a year has passed.
You always asked how I imagined my future, and I always answered that I saw myself by your side, dancing together. Me holding your waist, you holding my shoulders.
I would never have imagined that I would be lying on a hard and broken sofa, looking up at a damp ceiling, in a neglected and dirty apartment.
But, mainly, I wouldn't have imagined that I would be without you.
I had a whole life planned, I had so many things to do, all with you.
"I don't love you anymore. I never loved you."
Those words embedded themselves in my mind and heart, like knives.
I used to think that being dead was stop breathing, that your heart stop beating, die. But, you gave me another perspective of death.
You have taken, with you, my heart, my soul and my desire to even open my eyes.
Because, despite still being alive, I feel dead without you.