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Neil didn’t look until Andrew was settled fully beside him. Inscrutable as always, but Neil wasn’t going to try. Not tonight.
Tonight was for breathing in air so cold it stung his lungs—the sting of being alive— and leaning back on his palms to look up at the endless sky.
Things looked a lot simpler up there. He wondered what it would be like, to be a star instead of a boy.
The lighter flickered beside him, Andrew’s inhale sharp in the silence.
Neil sighed out a cotton candy cloud of fog. Accepted the cigarette when Andrew offered it, holding it loosely and flicking the ash when it flared.
Andrew blew out smoke in perfect rings, and Neil glanced over just to glare at him.
“Show off.”
Andrew’s face didn’t change, but he looked smug as hell anyway.
Neil passed the cigarette back, and resumed looking up until his neck ached.
“You’re gonna catch a snowflake in your eye,”Andrew said. “I’m not listening to you whine.”
“I’m watching for falling stars,” Neil said. The idea of something so celestial dislodged and dragged down…
He wondered if stars ever got scared.
“It’s the longest night of the year, not a meteor shower, idiot.”
Neil snorted a laugh, closing his eyes for a moment before rolling his head over to watch Andrew. Andrew watched him out of the corner of his eye.
“But it’s dark—”
“And cold as shit.”
“—and clear. So…”
Andrew huffed, but took another drag and peered up at the sky with him for a moment.
“And I brought you hot chocolate.”
One of Andrew’s eyebrows went up.
“The good kind. Bee’s kind.”
The other eyebrow, reluctantly, rose.
Neil grabbed the thermos from his other side and unscrewed the lid. It took a few tries, when his hand was stiff and weak with the cold.
“Idiot,” Andrew said again, taking the thermos from him. “Three.”
Neil tilted his head, watching deft fingers pour out a stream of steaming, liquid chocolate, not understanding until he did.
He pouted.
Andrew rolled his eyes. “Hundred.”
“Oh,” Neil said softly, smiling up at the twinkling stars.
Andrew sipped from his cup, made an involuntary sound he immediately frowned about, before putting it aside and taking one of Neil’s hands. Held it between both of his, pressing the whole sandwich of them between his own knees. Slowly warmth leeched through them like a candle next to a windowpane.
High above, a star streaked across the sky.
Neil closed his eyes, twined their fingers together, and realized they weren’t so different, him and a star. Not really. And not just then.