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If you asked a passerby they would say that there wasn't anyone reasonable that could hate Hinomori Shizuku. With keeping her image of an angel like idol, her perfectly crafted persona didn't allow for any mistakes when it came to how she acted. She smiled when greeted, listened attentively when spoken to and is never rude even on her bad days. The definition of a perfect Idol.
If you had asked Airi, she would say she disliked her.
Not that she would ever say that out loud, in fact Airi didn't even have a good reason to hate the blue haired girl in the first place. It wasn't like she did anything to offend the pig tailed girl, in fact she had been nothing but kind to her. So why did Airi hate her? She herself didn't know. In fact, it probably wasn't even hate at its core.
She envied Hinomori Shizuku.
She was beautiful, her laugh was as light as bell chimes, her smile was as sweet as nectar. She stunned others with her loveable personality, everyone practically adored her.
Airi couldn't tell you why that made her chest hurt even more.
-
The hall of the practice room was quiet except for the frustrated sigh that came from the pig tailed girl. It was midnight, the practice room was all empty except for her. Her eyebrows scrunched up as she re-read the message from her manager.
'Good morning Miss Momoi. Unfortunately due to scheduling conflicts with the talk show we had mentioned earlier and the promotional activities, we have to exclude you from the promotional activities. Please work on the script for the show before next week.'
Airi didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She had taken a break from practicing QT’s newest song for the upcoming comeback because of a buzz from her phone, only to find out all the work she had put in was basically for nothing.
If you had asked the members of QT who was the most excited for their upcoming comeback, a majority would respond with Airi’s name, and it was true. It was her first comeback in a while of not promoting with her group, and she had missed it. She missed being an idol.
Because of her almost never ending variety show schedules, she had not sung or danced in a while. On one hand she was glad she could get QT’s name more known by these variety shows, but on the other hand she almost feels like she's forgotten what it's like being an idol at this point. While scrolling through social media she see’s clips of her group members singing, dancing and making their fans smile.
She aches to do the same thing, because that was the reason she wanted to be an idol in the first place after all. To give hope to people, to make them smile. To be on the stage.
Now it feels like they're slowly taking this away from her.
The ticks of the clock on the wall is eerie against the quiet of the practice room. She hasn't gotten up from her spot, eyes still re reading the same message. It's like the meaning of it hasn't even sunken in. ‘We don't need you to be an idol’ is what they're saying to her. The grip on her phone tightens.
Despite it being a fairly new room, the door hinges still creak when opened.
“Airi?”
The pink haired girl snaps her head to the source of the sudden sound and is met with the color of water.
There were a lot of words she could use to describe Hinomori Shizuku. Serene for one, fans of Cheerful Days had described her as an angel sent down to earth. Gentle, in the way she spoke and sang. An idol and center of the company’s most successful group. And from the small frown on the other girl’s face, she was probably wondering why Airi was here.
“Ah, Shizuku, don't mind me, I was about to leave”. Airi quickly rips her gaze away from the other girl and starts packing up her stuff as if almost on autopilot. She bites her lip, the frustration from the message earlier not completely gone yet.
“Oh.. don't worry about it, Airi. I wasn't going to use the room anyway” Shizuku’s voice was sweet, almost gentle to a fault.
As the rustling of Airi packing her things slowed down, the silence in the room stretched on. She knew the blue haired girl was in the middle of promotions for Cheerful Days 3rd single. She probably had just returned from promotions.
She didn't know why Shizuku was here, nor why she was staring at Airi. Despite her being known as gentle, Shizuku’s gaze was intense.
“Shizuku, are you going to keep standing there or is there something you wanted to say?”
Airi didn't know why her tone of voice was sounding so bitter. She looks up from her bag and meets Shizuku’s eyes with a frown on her lips.
Shizuku’s eyes widened slightly. “Ah, I just… wanted to congratulate you on QT’s upcoming comeback”
Airi stares at the taller girl in front of her.
“Im not participating in the promotions this time.”
“W-what?”
“What I said earlier, I'm not promoting with QT’s this time. There was a scheduling conflict with one of the variety shows and the agency decided I didn't need to participate in promotions this time.”
Airi’s frown deepens. Reading the message had been one thing but actually saying it loud was another. It's like she’s finally met with the fact that she won't be able to meet her fans this time around, she won't be able to sing or dance, she won't be able to be an idol. Her heart aches at the thought.
Before Shizuku could say anything in response, Airi had zipped up her bag and gotten up. She nods her head to the other girl, barely meeting her eyes before swiftly leaving the practice room. The ache in her heart worsened after that night.
-
She was an Idol.
That was the single thought that was going through Airi’s head as she watched Shizuku perform with her group. She had gotten a day off and decided to attend a nearby music festival and somehow it had completely slipped her mind that Cheerful Days were performing. Now, she's sitting in the audience with mixed feelings of awe and resentment.
The hot air of the summer causes her to slightly sweat as the current act wraps up their song. Airi notices how dark the evening is getting, you could barely see the stars in the sky as the remains of the sun sets. The MC announces that Cheerful Days is next.
Airi watches transfixed as the members one by one come out, all introducing themselves before doing the group greeting. She watches as Shizuku slightly giggles at something the MC says.
Their first performance practically filled the entire room with energy, bouncing off the stage walls into the crowd. As they sing about unfulfilled love, Airi wonders how the crowd looks from up on the stage. She hopes they don't see her in the crowd.
The cheers and screams of excited fans fill the air as Cheerful Days finish up their first song, their lightsticks illuminate the darkness of the evening. In a way they were like stars to an idol, giving light to the idol it belonged to. Even if the idol would have to look down to the crowd to see the lightsticks, the brightness of them would light up even the darkest night, Airi thought.
The crowd quiets down as the beginning of the second song begins and, Ah, Airi realizes. It's Shizuku's center song.
She smiles at the crowd as the spotlight shines on her and the crowd goes wild. Her wispy voice carries the lyrics of the song as the rest of the group follows her into the chorus, the lightsticks now the same color as shizuku’s ocean hair.
“How fitting.. An ocean of blue for a girl who’s ocean blue”
Airi mumbles under her breath. The song eventually comes to an end and the crowd gives one last loud cheer as Cheerful Days wave goodbye. By the time Shizuku is off the stage, Airi is nowhere to be seen in the crowd.
-
“And we are QT! Thank you!”
The small screen of the pink haired girl's phone is a stark contrast against the darkness of the room she was currently in.
The other members of QT had been assigned roommates when discussing sleeping arrangements, and somehow by chance Airi had gotten the single bed room. She made sure the volume of her phone isnt loud enough to wake anybody up as she continued to watch clips of the fan meeting that occurred earlier.
The feeling of excitement she had when preparing for their upcoming comeback, the nervous butterflies of seeing the fan’s faces. A pang of hurt.
She continues scrolling and comes across a headline posted a few hours ago.
‘QT members in beautiful matching dresses for the 2nd day of promotions!’
Ah, she remembers these outfits. Their stylist had shown them in advance the outfits that were to be worn during the promotions and Airi remembered that this set was her personal favorite. The small ribbons on the sleeves were her favorite part of it.
“Shizuku would look nice with her hair in a ribbon..” she mumbled under her breath. Her cheeks slowly colored red after what she had said fully registered.
She furrowed her eyebrows, how did her thoughts suddenly stray to Shizuku out of all people. She breathed out a sigh, maybe she ought to get some fresh air to clear her mind. It didn't look like she was going to sleep anytime soon.
She shrugs on a jacket, cap and takes a mask before slowly closing the door to her room. Soft footsteps fill the dorms as she makes her way to the door. She didn't really think of a destination in mind when thinking of ‘getting fresh air’, so her feet somehow brought her to the company building.
Almost by autopilot does she end up in the practice room, the familiar scenery comforting her in a way despite it being almost 12 midnight. Airi scans the room as if she hasn't been here countless times, as if she hasn't trained here for years. She looks at herself in the wide mirror that stretches across the wide wall.
Would her younger self imagine she’d end up here? As an idol, but not doing the things she loved and associated with being an idol? A sigh leaves her lips.
The familiar creak of the hinges snap her attention to the practice room door. Pink meets blue.
“Airi.”
“It seems you really like entering the practice room at close to midnight, don't you Shizuku.”
She sees the other girl’s cheeks redden at the statement. They need to stop meeting like this, Airi thought.
A few seconds of silence pass where Shizuku stays rooted to her place at the door, seemingly asking Airi for permission to enter. Which was ridiculous in her opinion, she didn't own the practice room. With a small grumble, Airi strides towards the blue haired girl before grabbing her wrist and pulling her inside the room.
Silence envelops them again as Airi stops and stares at the reflection of both of them in the mirror.
Shizuku probably had just returned from a recording of some sort as she was dressed up for idol activities, lips pink and eyelashes thick. The pearls in her hair complement the gentle blue of her hair. Airi in comparison was decked in a loose black jacket, her orange shirt underneath completely enveloped. The mask was still on her face, covering most of bare face. Her hair was out of its usual pigtails.
Despite them both being idols that debuted around the same time, in the same company even, Airi felt like she was never an idol when put beside Shizuku.
She bit her lip and let go of Shizuku’s hand.
“I think I'll go now” she mumbles, eyes not meeting Shizuku once again. The ache in her chest had returned by being in the same room with Shizuku alone.
A soft voice. “Airi, did I do something wrong?”
The pink haired girl froze in her step. She turns to face Shizuku and furrows her eyebrows as if the question she was asked was illogical. Shizuku was smiling at her, but it was tainted with hints of sadness in her gray eyes. Her heart aches again.
She had only seen the blue haired girl in front of her in the limelight, a dazzling smile gracing her lips with her members and the cheers of hundreds of fans.
Shizuku in the low light of the practice room looked small, despite her towering height. Her eyes looked tired, smile strained. The pearls in her hair were not shining and the frills of her outfit looked worn. All Airi see’s now is a 16 year old girl named Hinomori Shizuku.
“I…Of course you did nothing wrong, Shizuku. What kind of question is that even, you’ve never done anything bad to me.”
Airi frowns, and almost automatically her hand comes to grab the other’s. Fully enveloping her hand with the taller’s. Shizuku is slightly surprised but her eyes then crinkle at the edges.
A comfortable silence envelops them as Airi caresses the pads of Shizuku’s hand with her thumb. Her hand feels worn from practice.
“You were great by the way.”
The blue haired girl blinked at the shorter girl in front of her.
“When you performed at the Osaka Music Festival a few days ago” Airi mumbled. A few seconds pass with silence, she looks up and meets the other girl's gaze. Airi’s cheeks burn again.
“W-what I meant is during your solo part in the second song you-”
“Airi.”
The taller girl smiled sweetly at the shorter. Before Airi could respond, she was enveloped in a hug by the blue haired girl. Airi blinked, hand still wrapped in the other’s.
Her arms slowly come to embrace the other girl in return. She rests her head in the crook of the other's neck and closes her eyes, the height difference between them now annoyingly convenient.
She never thought someone so close to water would be so warm.