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They had just left the station for a call when the announcement comes over the radio indicating violent protests at the Grey Sloan affiliated reproductive clinic. Maya’s stomach drops and her heart rate begins to increase. She knows that Carina was going to be there today. She can vaguely hear her colleagues in the background trying to comfort her, but she blocks them out. ‘What if something happens to her and Maya wasn’t there?’ She needs to get to the hospital now.
“Chief, I need to get to Grey Sloan!” Maya says.
“Bishop, we’re going to a call. You need to do your job first. I’m sure the clinic and your wife will be okay,” Ross answered, not cutting Maya any slack even though she knew the blonde was greatly concerned about her wife.
“You don’t understand Chief, I need to be there. I’m no good to you here right now. My mind will be focused on her and an unfocused firefighter is a danger to everyone.” Maya pleads with the Chief, but gets no answer in response. “Please Chief, what if it was someone you cared about? Someone you couldn’t live without?”
Ross sighs. She knows she’s not going to win this one. Bishop is correct that a distracted firefighter is extremely dangerous. She also knows that she would be doing the exact same thing as Bishop if she was in her shoes. “Sully, pull over and let her out.”
Once on the sidewalk, Maya’s feet immediately gained speed until she was sprinting the 10 blocks separating her from her wife. After a few short minutes, Maya finally lays her eyes on the clinic. She continues her run across the parking lot but eventually slows down and stops at a distance when something catches her eyes. She sees Carina, along with Bailey, Jo, Addison, and some interns, exit the building and start to make their way across the parking lot toward their vehicles. She takes a deep breathe watching her wife walk slowly while talking to an intern, realizing she was ok. She can’t even describe the relief she feels in seeing that Carina is safe.
Maya starts walking across the parking lot towards the group, who have yet to notice her presence. While walking towards the group, she pulls out her phone sending a quick text to Ben letting him know that Bailey was safe. Just as she sends the text, she looks up briefly and sees a car speeding towards Carina. What’s worse is that Carina doesn’t seem to notice. Within a split second Maya runs towards Carina.
Bailey lets out a scream to “get out of the way.” Before Carina can realize what’s going on, she’s aggressively shoved out of the way by someone. She hits the ground hard, but what really bothers her is the sounds of car tires screeching and a series of thuds. She gingerly turns towards to sounds, aware that her body is going to be covered with bruises later.
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. A women was lying awkwardly on the ground, face down. A women wearing a navy blue t-shirt and black trousers. A woman wearing a dark silicone ring on a distinctive finger. A woman with a pony tail full of beautiful blonde hair. She could pick this woman out of a crowd of a thousand people. It was Maya; HER Maya.
“MAYA!” Carina hurries over to her side. She’s screaming and panicking. “MAYA! PLEASE WAKE UP! PLEASE BAMBINA” Maya remains unconscious, despite Carina’s passionate pleas. She turns and looks at the group of frozen doctors. “SOMEBODY HELP HER!” Carina screams. Immediately, the group jumps into action. Bailey’s ordering the group around in the background, but Carina’s mind is too jumbled to really focus on what she’s saying. They eventually load Maya up into an ambulance and make quick work of getting her over to the main hospital entrance. Owen, Teddy, and Amelia are all waiting when the ambulance doors open, and help rush Maya into the trauma room.
The doctors are quickly working around Maya, assessing all her injuries. “Bailey, where did the car hit her?” Teddy asked.
“Mostly chest and head,” Bailey responded.
“Did she regain consciousness at any point?” Amelia questioned.
“No,” Jo says somberly.
Carina is in the back of the room. Her head is spinning as the doctors begin to list off the injuries: several broken ribs, one broken rib piercing her lung causing a pneumothorax, and a suspected brain bleed. It’s too much to comprehend. She abruptly bends over and throws up on the ground. As she continues retching and gasping for air, she feels arms on her shoulders trying to get her attention. She can hear Bailey telling her to breathe. In that moment trying to breathe felt impossible, like Bailey was asking her to lift a 1,000 pounds of concrete. Eventually she’s able to calm down enough that her breathing isn’t so strained. She takes in her surroundings, but immediately starts to panic when she realizes that Maya and the other doctors were gone. Bailey, recognizing Carina’s panic, begins to speak.
“The took her up to CT and are then going to head straight to surgery. She’s in the best hands possible, okay? Why don’t we go sit and wait,” Bailey offered. Carina could only get out a nod. She was so overwhelmed at the moment.
They walk to Carina’s office, Bailey having decided that would be the best place to wait given its familiarity and quietness. She sends a message to the interns to go notify the Owen, Teddy, and Amelia about where they will be. They sit on the couch in silence for a while until Carina breaks it.
“Why did she do that?” Carina asked full of emotion, to no one in particular. She puts her head in her hands and sobs. Bailey moves closer to Carina so that she can rub her hand up and down her back to try and calm her.
“Because she loves you,” Bailey adds once she finally makes eye contact with Carina.
Carina’s not sure how long it’s been when she hears a knock at the door. Within an instant she’s on her feet. Owen, Teddy, and Amelia walk into the office and begin to speak because Carina can begin her line of questioning.
“She’s stable,” Amelia says, wanting to get that out in the open first. “She had a small brain bleed but I was able to repair it.” Amelia then turns to Owen and Teddy to let them go next.
“She had several displaced ribs that we fixed. She’s most likely going to be in a lot of pain in the beginning of her recovery as a result of these breakes, along with the brain surgery. In surgery, we realized that one of the broken ribs was dangerously close to puncturing her heart. The heart did suffer a small amount of bruising but we didn’t find any tears or holes so we suspect she should be able to make a full recovery,” Teddy said. Carina was overwhelmed but so relieved. Her wife was stable. She looked at the doctors and was about to say thank you when she saw the look on Owen’s face.
“What is it? What else happened?” Carina questions.
“She did code twice during surgery,” Owen gently responds. “We got her back very quickly the first time but the second time did take a few minutes. I decided to keep her intubated and put her in a medically induced coma for now just to let her body have some time to rest and heal.” Teddy says.
“Oh my god,” Carina begins to sob. Amelia is quick to support her.
“Hey, I know it’s scary. I can’t image how you must be feeling right now after this terrible day. But listen to me here: Maya is alive. She is stable and is expected to make a full recovery. Hold on to that for now, ok? Let us take care of the rest of the worry, okay?” Amelia says. Carina takes a shaky breathe and then nods.
Once Maya is moved to the ICU, Carina goes to sit with her. Carina’s not sure how much time has passed but eventually 19 shows up. Carina assumes Bailey must have notified them. Only Andy comes into Maya’s ICU room and sits in silence with her. She’s grateful for the team’s consideration to avoid overwhelming her. After a while in silence, Andy softly begins to speak.
“Maya was so scared when she heard about the protests at the clinic. We were in the engine on the way to a call when the announcement came through the radio. She managed to convince the Chief to stop the truck and let her out so she could run here. We were about 10 blocks away at the time.” Andy says. This is the first Carina is hearing about why Maya was even at the hospital to begin with. She can’t believe Maya left her job for her once again. She’s pulled from her thoughts when Andy continues.
“You know- we used to tease Maya about her dating habits before you. ‘Monogamy is for the weak’ was basically her catch phrase,” Andy lets out a laugh. “The Maya I know now is almost a completely different person, especially the new Maya that we’ve gotten to know over the past few weeks. She’s doing so much better, Carina. She’s putting others first, she’s sharing her feelings, she’s taking proper care of herself. But Maya’s not putting in the work just to be better for herself. She’s also doing it for you.”
“I know. I see it, too,” Carina softly replies.
“I’m not sure if Maya could live without you, Carina. She even said those exact words to Ross earlier. I mean, I know she’d ‘live’ but I know she wouldn’t be the same because you’ve changed her for the better. I’m sure that’s what she was thinking when she pushed you out of the way. I’m not trying to guilt you into anything though. I saw how bad things were between the two of you this past year. I know how independent you are Carina. I have no doubt that you would probably be fine on your own if you decide that you don’t want to get back together with Maya. But if you decide to stay, I know that Maya is in this wholeheartedly with you. There’s nothing that will stop her from being there for you and showing you the love you deserve, well may be a car, but hopefully this was a one and done type of thing,” Andy adds, trying to lighten the mood at the end.
Carina squeaks out, “Thank you”.
Over the next 24 hours Carina stayed by Maya’s bedside, only leaving the room to use the restroom and make a brief trip to her office to change her clothes. After about 30 hours post surgery, Teddy decided to lighten Maya’s sedation. Hours pass without any signs of Maya waking up. That was until Carina was briefly shutting her eyes when she felt Maya’s hand twitch in her own. Carina’s eyes shot open and she was immediately by Maya’s side. Carina rubbed her hands up and down Maya’s arms, trying to ground her. Maya let out a whimper, but kept her eyes closed
“Bambina, I’m here. Please open your eyes for me.” Carina gently begged.
It took about a minute but Maya’s eyes finally opened and flickered around the room before settling on Carina.
“Hey,” was all Carina could let out, her eyes full of unshed tears. Maya, on the other hand, had tears beginning to steadily flow down her face. “You’re okay, Maya. It’s going to be okay. How’s your pain right now?” Carina asked.
“Really bad,” Maya let out in gasps and began sobbing. Carina was surprised by her wife’s admission, as Maya was always someone who underplayed her pain levels. It told her just how much pain Maya must really be in. Carina immediately hits the call button, and within a couple minutes a nurse came in and administered more pain medication. Nothing else was said between Maya and Carina at the time. Maya eventually succumbed to the pain medications and fell asleep, as Carina continued to rub gentle circles on Maya’s arm. The next two times Maya woke up were in a similar fashion. Carina’s heart was breaking at how much pain Maya was in and how difficult it seemed to be for the doctors to get on top of it.
The fourth time Maya woke up, she noticeably felt lighter and not as overcome with the pain. It was definitely still there, but the sensations weren’t overpowering. With her mind a little more clear, she thinks about what put her in this position. The protests. The car speeding towards Carina and the quick shove she gave her to get out of the way. Maya had barely thought it through in the moment. She just knew that she needed to protect Carina, something that she hadn’t been doing recently.
She slightly turned her head to look at Carina, who was deep in thought looking at a tablet. She wasn’t sure if Carina was focusing on her medical records or those of a different patient. She knew what she had to say. She didn’t want to, but knew it was what Carina deserved.
“You should go, Carina,” Maya said. Carina’s head whipped around at the sound of Maya’s voice. Her brain didn’t even compute what Maya said; It just immediately focused on Maya being awake, and clearly in less pain this time.
“Hey, you’re awake,” Carina said with a smile. She set down the tablet and made her way back to Maya’s side, grabbing her hand and interlocking their fingers.
“You should go, Carina,” Maya repeated again. This time Carina heard her wife and the smile that was on her face just moments ago fell. ‘Did Maya not want her here?’ Carina thought.
“No, Bambina. It’s fine. I don’t mind staying with you. I want to stay,” Carina said. Carina’s face turns to one of confusion as Maya begins to shake her head back and forth.
“Look, I know you wanted space, and I clearly already messed that up since I’m literally stuck in the place you work for the foreseeable future. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Carina. It’s the last thing I wanted to do,” Maya says quietly. Carina just stares at Maya, full of confusion. ‘Was Maya really apologizing for having to be in the hospital after being hit by a literal car?’ Carina couldn’t seem to get any words out.
“If you’re worried about me being alone, you can call Andy. I’m sure she would come visit for a little bit. If not, maybe Ben would….” Maya added, which managed to snap Carina out of her spiraling thoughts.
“Maya, stop. I’m not mad or upset at you for ending up in the hospital… You literally saved my life.” Carina’s voice wavered as she said the last part. It all seemed to click for Maya in that moment
“Is that why you’re still here?” Maya said just above a whisper.
“What do you mean?” Carina asks.
“Cause you feel guilty? Like you have to stay because I got…,” Maya pauses and takes a deep breath. “Because I got hit by a car trying to save you?” Maya says. Carina’s heart sinks at the way Maya’s brain is trying to arrange the scattered pieces to make them make sense.
“No, Maya of course not. I’m here because I love you” Carina replies.
“It happens all the time, Carina,” Maya begins. “As a first responder, we call it rescue romance syndrome. The high emotions: the fear, uncertainty, and relief. The emotions impact judgement and may make you think you love someone when you really just love what they did. Your feelings of admiration of the deed they did are redirected as admiration for the rescuer,” Maya rambles on, as she’s trying to prove her point to Carina that this is definitely what’s going on.
“Maya, look at me,” Maya finally looks up at Carina. Carina recognizes the fear and sadness in Maya’s eyes. “Maya, while I’m extremely thankful for what you did for me, I love you for you, not for what you did. I know things have been difficult lately, but I never stopped loving you. Not once. I don’t know what I would’ve done if that accident took you away from me, especially if we never got the chance to make things right between us. Please let me be here for you because I never want to be without you again.” Carina let out a sob as she finished. She was scared that Maya was going to push her away again. That she was going to revert to old habits. But Maya deserved more credit than that. She’s earned more credit than that.
“I don’t want you to take me back just because you feel bad for me. I’ve been working so hard to try and show you that I’ve been getting better. I wanted you to take me back because I deserved it. I’m not there yet. I still have so much work to do,” Maya says. Carina taken back at how vulnerable and honest Maya was being. She could try and blame the pain medications for this new level of openness she’s seeing in her wife, but she knows it’s not true. She knows it’s instead a true sign of the work that Maya’s been doing and her efforts to recover and heal from her past.
“Bambina, I’ve seen the work you’ve been doing to better yourself. I see you continuously making an effort to consider my feelings and put me first. Hell, you even got hit by a car trying to put me first,” Carina’s arms flail wildly as she finishes that statement, but manages to rein in her emotions as she continues. “I’ve heard the feedback from others about how much effort you’re putting into this. I believe in you Maya. I trust you. Now I need you to trust me, Maya.” Carina finishes and uses her thumb to wipe the new tears slowly flowing down Maya’s face. Maya closes her eyes and leans into Carina’s touch. She grabs Carina’s other hand in hers.
“I missed you so much, Carina,” Maya chokes out. “I promise things will be better.”
“I know they will be, Bambina. We’re going to be okay,” Carina says.
“We’re going to be okay,” Maya repeats.