Chapter Text
It had been 3 months since Liam and Avery had officially started going out. Their history was... strange to say the least. Avery was a delinquent thug who occasionally committed petty crimes. And Liam was such a pure hearted person, he verged on the edge of Sainthood. Well, in Avery's eyes at least. Liam still had his own issues snd quirks, and could get upset if he wanted to. Everybody had their own problems after all. But compared to Avery's, Liam's problems were a drop in the bucket.
Hell, until recently, Avery had a borderline obsession with his ex boyfriend Jayden. A person who was very much avoided as a topic of discussion between the two. Plus, with Liam being friends with Jayden, it just made things even more awkward. These days Avery wasn't sure what he felt towards Jayden. But he knew he didn't want to mess things up with Liam. So he kept a lid on all that. For now.
Instead he put his energy into his delinquent thug life. It wasn't exactly a great substitute, but in Avery's mind, he could at least be faithful to Liam. For lack of a better description, Avery was part of a gang of thugs. They even had a hideout at an abandoned warehouse. Claimed territory. Most of the thugs he associated with were close to his age. Some delinquent teenagers, others a bit older. The severity of crimes varied among the group as well. Avery was more middle of the road when it came to that. He shoplifted, scammed, and tormented people. He was usually more of a carefully manipulative type as opposed to straight up crime and robbery.
Of course that didn't stop him from getting into occasional fights and getting his hands dirty. Whether it be with rival gang members or even people in his own circles. Avery certainly wasn't one to mess with in a one on one encounter.
And it was these qualities that gained him the respect of most of his fellow gang members. And if not respect, then fear. There were no doubt those who would love to tear Avery down if they could. But no one would ever dare, and suffer the consequence of his wraith. So while this group of delinquents and thugs didn't technically have a leader, Avery was the closest thing to it. Mostly that boiled down to him being able to give out orders every now then. Otherwise he just let them all do whatever they want, as long as they didn't cause too much trouble that would put the rest of them in hot water.
Unfortunately tonight, as Avery walked into the abandoned warehouse before heading home, he would find out that trouble was the exact thing heading their way.
*******
Liam happily hummed as he stirred the noodles boiling in the pot on the stove. He wanted to surprise Avery for their 3 month anniversary. The other boy would likely object to the celebration of such an occasion, saying something like, 'who would celebrate a stupid occasion like that!?' But he wouldnt be able to turn down a hot meal! And luckily, Liam had an amazing pasta recipe he could try.
The red headed boy was quite pleased with himself. He was rather looking forward to the annoyed, but reluctantly accepting expression Avery was bound to make. He knew the dark haired boy would be out of his apartment for quite awhile today. So he used that opportunity, and the spare key Avery gave him, to sneak in and make the preparations for tonight. The fact that Avery gave him a spare key at all was actually quite sweet in itself.
His exact words had been, 'Take this key. I'm tired of letting you in all the time. So open the door yourself.'
He played it off like Liam was an inconvenience he was relieving himself of, but never mentioned the effort and thought he'd have to put into making Liam a spare key in the first place. Let alone the trust he had to have in order to let Liam come and go as he pleased! Avery was usually a very private person, and most people didn't know where he lived, with a few minor exceptions. So to give Liam free reign, it was quite a grand gesture.
Avery was so cute sometimes. Doing kind and considerate things behind a veil of toughness and annoyance. It made Liam smile. He sometimes wondered why Avery acted like that, but it probably wasn't the best time to pry into his personal life so early into their relationship. Besides, Liam worried about other more obvious issues.
While he knew Avery occasionally committed small, petty crimes, it wasn't something he liked to know about. And Avery's gang.... Liam knew it was a place for Avery to belong, but he had to admit, he wasn't very fond of them. Especially considering one time when he went looking for Avery, one of those gang members with some kind of grudge against Avery, tricked Liam into going into rival territory where he was almost attacked. Luckily Avery showed up in time to save him, and that so-called gang member ended up skipping town with his brother.
But even still, Liam felt like Avery didn't belong with those people. He seemed too... kind, in his own way. Maybe Liam was just projecting. Scared at the possibility that he was the one that didn't belong with Avery...
Liam quickly shook his head. No. That was ridiculous. Avery had always been upfront about the kind of person he was. Liam accepted that, and Avery seemed to cherish that. Avery had even told him he loved him! It took awhile, and Avery still didn't say it all the time. But he certainly did. And that was all Liam needed to know.
He switched off the burner and grabbed the large pot, walking over to the sink to pour out the contents into the strainer he placed there earlier. Once the pot was empty, he placed it on the cool side of the stovetop. Now it was time to make the sauce.
But before he could start, the sound of the front door opening and a slight stumbling sound drew his attention away.
Damn. Sounded like Avery was home already. He hoped he would have a little more time to set things up. Oh well. This would still be fine.
Liam rounded the corner from the kitchen to the front door, throwing his hands up and cheering, "Surprise!"
But the sight in front of him immediately drained his excitement and joy, replacing it with dreadful concern.
Avery was leaning back against the open door frame, barely standing and covered in bruises and blood. His hair was a mess dangling in front of his face, and he was panting heavily.
"Avery!" Liam rushed over to him, grabbing his arms and helping him sit down on the floor. He quickly closed the door so they could have privacy. No one else needed to see Avery like this and start getting suspicious.
"Hey honey. I'm home," Avery sneered through a twisted smile, trying to make a joke out of the situation.
"What happened to you?" Liam asked, looking over his body for any serious injuries.
Avery had a black eye, and his left cheek was bright red. His knuckles were pink and had splatters of blood on them, along with splatters across his jacket and pants. Liam fussed over him, checking his chest and legs for any bleeding or stab wounds. But Avery's leaher jacket was obstructing some of his view.
Avery brushed him, "Relax. I'm just a little tired. No serious injuries."
"How can you say that!? You're all beat up!"
"Just help me up to the couch," Avery said, sidestepping Liam's concerns.
Liam did as he was told, grabbing Avery's arm and pulling him to his feet. Avery put on a nice act, but he could still barely walk, so Liam hoisted him up, with all the strength he could and flung his arm over his shoulders.
Avery found himself staring at the side of Liam's face as the boy helped him. He was a little surprised at Liam's strength, being able to take most of his weight like this. He usually thought of Liam as somewhat delicate. Someone he always needed to protect lest the world swallow him up whole without mercy. But this display of strength was interesting. Maybe he underestimated him. Liam was still a man after all, no matter how bright and cheery he acted.
Liam plopped Avery down onto the couch, leaning him back into a sitting position so he could still see and care for his wounds.
"Take your jacket off. I'm gonna go get the first aid kit."
"It's really not..." Avery tried to downplay the situation, and brush Liam off again. But was met with quick resistance.
"It wasn't a suggestion. Take your jacket off," Liam ordered.
Liam's voice was calm, but stern and commanding. He was actually kind of upset, wasn't he? A rare sight indeed. Avery might have even been turned on if he wasn't in so much pain.
He did as instructed, leaning forward to peel off his jacket. He hissed through gritted teeth as pain shot through him at the movements. Once he got it off, he let it fall to the floor, collapsing back against the couch. He could worry about clean up later. Liam quickly returned with the white box of medical supplies. One that Avery always kept well stocked due to the nature of his illicit activities. Liam set it down on the couch and crouched in front of Avery. He grabbed the hem of Avery's tank top and lifted it up, checking his torso.
"Hate to say it freckles, but I'm afraid I'm not in the mood tonight," he teased, immediately letting out a groan of pain as Liam pressed a sore spot on his side.
"How about a few less jokes, and let me check on you." Liam's voice was flat, but not unkind. More like he was just focused entirely on Avery's condition.
Avery's body had multiple bruises on it, but none looked too bad. The most serious one seemed to be the one on his right side, which was already turning a deep purple. Plus there was some bruising on his forearms, probably from blocking punches. There was also a trickle of blood coming from somewhere along his hairline, which Liam didn't see right away because of Avery's hair falling down into his face. He had a few tears in his jeans as well, but those were mostly nicks and scrapes. Nothing to worry about right now.
Liam grabbed a cloth and soaked it with alcohol to disinfect the wound on his head. That one seemed to be bleeding the most profusely. He tried to push Avery's hair out of the way to find the wound, but found it difficult.
"Here, let me," Avery said. He took both his hands, cupping them around the top of his head and pushing all his hair back in a slicked back style. Luckily due to it's length, he didn't need any product to keep it in place, allowing Liam to see the small gash just under his hairline.
Liam said nothing, wiping off the blood before pressing the cloth to Avery's wound. The other boy let out a grunt of discomfort. The wound didn't look bad. Just a minor cut that bled a bit more than it should have. But no bruising or redness otherwise. Honestly it probably wouldn't even scar.
"How's your head?" Liam asked, his voice gentle but strangely hollow.
"I haven't had any complaints yet," Avery quipped.
Liam said nothing. Just continuing to clean Avery's wound and fetch a bandage from the first aid kit.
"I'm sorry," Avery said quietly, his original comment getting no reaction from him. He knew he shouldn't be making jokes at a time like this. He usually wasn't this talkative anyway. But he didn't want Liam to worry. This stern attitude the other boy was showing wasn't exactly normal for him.
"It's okay," Liam said, placing a bandage on his head, "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"It'll just make you angry. Well, angrier," Avery lamented.
"I'm not angry. I'm concerned. I came here to surprise you, and you come home looking like this. What if I wasn't here?" Liam said, his voice remaining calm, but his emotions starting boil under the surface.
"I would have managed on my own. Just like I did before we met," Avery insisted
"Is that so?" Liam backed up, clearly taking a little offense to that statement.
"Fuck. Liam, that's not what I meant," Avery immediately apologized.
He just meant that he would be okay without Liam's help. That there was no reason to worry. This wasn't the first time Avery had come home bruised and bloody, and he knew how to deal with that. He didn't mean for it to come off like he didn't need Liam at all!
Liam moved up again, staying quiet for a bit as he started cleaning and bandaging Avery's arms.
".... I know," he finally spoke, "But I hate seeing you like this. It makes me sad."
Fuck.
That honest truth tore at Avery's heart, and filled him with guilt. Even when Avery sucked at communicating, Liam was still able to understand what he meant. What he REALLY meant. And seeing him look and act this was surprisingly alot for Avery to handle. It prompted him to open up even more. As if being honest would somehow make these negative feelings go away.
"It was a gang fight," Avery said, continuing to watch Liam work, "One of our rivals decided to hit our place, trying to take the warehouse from us. There was a lot of fighting. Some people brought metal poles and knives. But we managed to beat them back. It was hell though. A couple of guys had to be taken to the hospital."
Liam looked up at him, mismatched eyes meeting deep blue, his expression completely unreadable.
Liam finished tying off the last bandage before standing and saying, "You're right. That did make me angry." He tossed the remaing first aid supplies in the box and packed it up, walking away into the kitchen, "I'm gonna get you some ice for your side."
Damn it.
Sometimes Avery hated being right. It would be one thing if Avery got himself into a fight, or if some losers tried to pick one with him. That would be understandable. Self defense! But the fact that it was a turf war in a gang that Liam really wasn't fond of Avery being a part of, was another matter all together. And now Liam was even more upset than before. But he wasn't lecturing Avery. He wasn't getting visibly mad, or screaming his head off. He didn't even say he was disappointed. He just told him he was angry, and then bottled the rest up, filling the room with painful silence.
"It's okay to be upset Liam. You can yell at me if it'll make you feel better," Avery told him, giving him the chance to vent. He'd rather that than Liam holding it all inside just to keep his usual calm composure.
"I know that!" Liam shouted, dropping the first aid kit on the kitchen counter. Well, that didn't take long. He clearly had something he wanted to say, so Avery sat and let him go off, "But what right do I have to be upset at you? You told me from the start what being with you would be like. The dangerous things you were involved in. But I still chose to be here despite that! I chose to be with you, to wait for you, and to love you! Knowing full well that you break the law, and hurt others. That other people want to hurt you, and even hurt me because of you!"
"Liam..."
Ok. This wasn't the direction he was expecting this to go.
"But If I get angry at you because of this, knowing what I know and having accepted you for it, then what would I be except for a hypocrite?" Liam took a breath, steadying himself, "Even still, I can't help myself from feeling these negative feelings. I hate knowing you're involved with gangs and bad people like that. I hate thinking about how you could get hurt. No matter how strong you are, it's always a possibility that you'll....."
Whoa. Avery had no idea all this was weighing so heavily on the red headed boy. He knew Liam didn't like that Avery was in a gang and the like, but he never realized that Liam was also angry at himself for accepting that lifestyle. No. Not accepting. Settling. Because settling was exactly what Liam was doing by putting up with all of Avery's bullshit. A kind and precious soul like his deserved way better than what Avery could ever possibly give him. Because everything he said was true. Avery had been up front and clear about the kind of life he lived. And despite all the warnings, Liam still wanted to be with him. Chose to be here with him. And while Avery treasured that greatly, he could now see there was a dissatisfaction the boy carried. There was disappointment and anger, and it was all born out of fear for Avery's safety.
Liam's desire to be with him outweighed his common sense. But now that they were finally together, it was getting harder for him hide. The concessions he had made were starting to make less sense. And seeing the person he loved all beat up, filled him with dread and regret. Because how could he go back on his word now? He said he accepted all of this, but now was finding out that he couldn't. But he didn't want to lose Avery either. And that acceptance he was starting to wane on, well it meant to everything to Avery. So what could he possibly do now?
Those conflicting thoughts only filled him with confusion and frustration. And a deep seated worry that he would lose everything in one fell swoop.
Avery could see that fear in Liam. It radiated off him like waves. And even though Liam was the one teetering on the edge of going back on his word, being a hypocrite just like he said, Avery was the one who carried the immense feeling of guilt. Because it was his fault. His fucked up life was ruining one of the only good things to ever happen to him. Someone so pure and honest was coming apart at the seams just to be with him, and it was all Avery's fault.
"Come here," Avery told him simply, sitting up a bit straighter.
Liam wiped invisible tears from his eyes, not looking at him, "Avery, I really should..."
"Just come here," he said again. This time Liam complied, moving to sit next to him on the couch. Avery wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into the uninjured side of his chest. "I know this isn't easy on you. Being with me. I'm not kind and considerate like other boyfriends would be. I commit crimes, make mistakes, get hurt, and hurt others. Honestly, maybe wounds like this are just my penance for the shitty kind of person I am."
"Don't say things like that. You'll just hurt me more," Liam spoke, just above a whisper.
Avery gentle nuzzled his face in the top of Liam's head, "I'm sorry. But it needed to be said. I'm not a good person, but you are."
Liam jolted upright, surprising Avery, a new spark of life in Liam's eyes. "That's not true! There are good parts to you too. Otherwise we would never work! I know you're capable of it. You don't have to change overnight! Or even at all! The best parts of you are there. Just buried deep inside!"
The dark haired boy smirked. He really believed in him that much, huh?
"You're the best part of me," Avery said, gently placing his hand under Liam's chin to hold his face and keep him looking at him. A usually more aggressive move Avery liked to use, but his touch and grip were gentle this time.
Liam didn't move his head, but he averted his eyes, heat rising in his face, "D.. don't just say sweet things out of the blue like that. I'm upset, remember?"
Avery chuckled, pulling him back into his chest, "Not a problem. Being sweet isn't exactly my specialty anyway."
Liam gave in and wrapped his arms around Avery, "Does it hurt for me to hold you like this?"
"It'd hurt more if you let go," he responded, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It did hurt, but he wanted to enjoy this moment.
Liam wasn't quite sure what it was, whether it was the gentle cadance of Avery's voice or the way he held him so close, but Liam felt his fears and anxiety beginning to dissipate. The feeling didn't disappear entirely. He still had his concerns and worries. But being here like this, he felt more secure. Like he had a handle on those issues that plagued his mind.
After a couple minutes passed, a much more pertinent question that Avery forgot came to mind, "By the way... what are doing here anyway?"
Liam sat up, looking surprised. Apparently he almost forgot the reason too. The night's events had taken such a drastic turn, he almost forgot his original purpose!
"Oh, I wanted to surprise you for our 3 month anniversary. So I snuck in and was cooking dinner for us."
Avery rolled his eyes, "3 month anniversary? Who would celebrate a stupid occasion like that?"
Liam giggled, having perfectly predicted the reaction the other boy would give him. It made him feel warm inside, and a sense of ease began to settle in again.
"The noodles are probably cold by now, but I can warm them up by mixing them in with the pasta sauce. You rest here and I'll finish making dinner."
Liam pulled himself away from Avery, pushing the other boy down into a laying down position so he wouldn't accidentally strain himself.
As he let himself be guided down, Avery couldn't help but comment, "You know, I'm liking this new bossy/take charge edge you're showing lately. It's kinda hot."
Liam stuttered, his face burning red, "I.. I'm not being bossy! I'm just concerned!"
Avery chuckled, immediately regretting it as pain coursed through his ribs.
"Can you get me that ice pack now? I'd rather not pass out from the pain."
"Right," Liam agreed.
But before he could run back to the kitchen, Avery called out to him one last time.
"Hey, Liam."
"Yeah?" Liam stopped and turned to face him, expectantly waiting to hear another request from the injured man.
"I promise not to come home like this again. I'll do my best," Avery said, wanting to reassure him. He didn't want Liam to have to worry like this again. Or blame himself when he did feel worried for Avery. He deserved better, and Avery would use all his strength to provide that if he could.
"I know you will." Liam smiled sweetly at him, his expression quickly faltering as he turned away. "But don't make promises you can't keep."
Avery wanted to argue. But how could he? The other boy was right. As long as Avery did the things he did, there was never a guarantee that Avery would stay out of trouble. Out of harm's way. The life he lived put him directly in front of its path. As long as he was in the gang, Liam would worry. He would be upset and concerned everytime things got out of hand, and Avery came home hurt.
And what was worse, Liam knew he didn't have the right to be angry. Because this is the life he agreed to. He knew it, but still couldn't stop himself from feeling this way. Despite his concessions, it was clear Liam wanted more from Avery. Was that selfish? Maybe. But if anyone deserved that privilege, it was Liam. All he really wanted was to know Avery would be safe. That's all! His most selfish desire, was for the sake of someone he loved. For Avery's sake...
Fuck.
What the hell was Avery going to do now? He couldn't just leave the gang. It wasn't that simple. If anything he'd be worse off. All the members would have free reign to go after him if they wanted. And Avery had pissed off his fair share of them.
Of course there was...
No. No that wasn't an option. Avery was a tough badass, but even he wouldn't be able to handle that. Could he? He never even considered it before. So why was he thinking of it now!?
Avery turned his head, watching Liam cut up some vegetables while he boiled something in a large pot. He looked picturesque. Calm, focused, and oh so tantalizing and pretty. And for a brief moment, that was all Avery wanted out of life.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This boy was going to be the end of him, wasn't he?