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It was a sunny day in Hyrule, Wild’s hyrule to be precise, it’d been a long while since they’d had such great weather, or even a break from constant ambushes and character angst! Everything was as it should be, skies were clear, clouds circled above in a way that made Sky nostalgic, the wind was howling in a way that made some people uncomfortable, but to be fair to Wind he’d never howled before, not in front of an audience at least.
The strangest thing began to happen which left almost every one of the chain on edge, well aside from The Old man, and the Veteran who had both seen some shit, though while Time stared with dead eyes at the growing threat, Legend mumbled a curse to Hylia that damn Lake was at it again making his life hard, he prayed to the golden three for the lake to dry up and stop causing him problems in future fanfictions. The wind around them picked up, grabbing the dirt, the rocks, even Four in a swirl of dust, leaves, and debris, lifting all high into the now gray skies a vortex formed touching down mere feet in front of them. Sky leapt to the side to avoid a massive boulder that crashed right where he’d been standing previously, somehow it’d been lifted while he hadn’t been, thought speaking of lifted, Hyrule’s feet had just barely left the ground before the skyloftian had leapt again, grabbing the boys tunic, yanking him down and close to prevent him from flying off again.
Twilight found himself replicating the same maneuver on Wind and Wild, despite the fact that Wild was fine and had not been a target of the winds, Twilight couldn’t help himself from making sure his cub didn’t fly away, even though he’d previously had let Four fly away. Time remained completely still, because at this point in the story I don’t know what to do with him, I just gotta let you know he is still there, Warriors is also there standing sexily in the wind, he winks at the fourth wall. (who is he winking at? well you know who you are mystery reader ;) )
The massive, extreme, storm chasers dream Tornado glared at the chain with its menacing tornado eyes, you could sense there was nothing but evil in the swirls of dirt and debris, their comrade who was screaming from inside the swirling vortex begged for them to do something already, but the chain knew they were outmatched! The Tornado laughed a wicked weathery laugh, turning on its heel and storming off to cause chaos taking Four away with it.
“Curses!” Cursed Legend kicking what was left of the dirt, “Of course Hylia couldn’t let us relax! That watery witch always has something up its streamy sleeve!”
Sky raised a hand, grabbing Legends attention, “You know Hylia is a person right?” he was met with a rock to the face for that, Legend stomping his foot out of character and screaming.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT UP!!”
Time stepped in between the two, taking a deep breath, he was far too old for this.
“My brothers, take heed,” Time began his voice filled with wisdom and other old people things, “Now be-est not the time to brabble, our compatriot hast been stolen from thine own grasp by a beast most foul, we must make haste if we should save him from the clutches of this behemoth!!!” The brothers nodded, having definitely taken heed.
The brothers began to brainstorm how in the world they were going to take down a tornado, Sky suggested using the gust bellows, but that would only strengthen the tornado, and it was an absolutely ridiculous notion to switch the gust bellows from blow to suck, as if something like that could possibly happen and exist. The poor Sky boy was left to sulk in the corner with his vacuum cleaner while the others thought of far more intelligent ideas.
“Why don’t we punch it!” Wind suggested excitedly, the others looked at him incredulously, Warriors strutted sexily into frame, his lipgloss and eyeliner on point.
“I don’t understand,” Wars struck a pose, cameras flashing to capture every angle, “Why don’t you just use the windwaker,” He struck another pose, going into the splits, the cameramen going wild. The other members of the chain rolled their eyes, of course he was too sexy to make any sense, if they used the windwaker then the story couldn’t happen!!
“Wind has a point,” Wild pointed, making his way over to the young tiny, little small man that was a child actually, “And I have just the thing to help us do just that.”
The chain followed Wild into a large facility, their outfits had suddenly changed, it was almost as if they stepped out of Hyrule and right into Pacific Rim. Wild lead them through the hall of massive robots, each one more grand than the last, all being worked on by Sheikah technicians, the robots differed in size, and build,each with their own different purposes it seemed. Wind marveled at each one of the mechanical creations, their heads seemed to resemble different animals: A Camel, a lizard, an elephant, and an eagle.
“We’ve been working on these over the past year or two,” Wild explained gesturing to the robots, “We realized after the great Calamity, which is my greatest disappointment remind me to have nightmares about that later, that the Divine Beasts weren’t enough,” They continued down the great hall to now less constructed robots, they seemed newer and shinier than the rest.
“On their own they were corruptible, and with only one champion inside they were left nearly defenseless, but with our improvements not only will they be stronger, they’ll require two champions who can work perfectly in sync, something we-” Wild gestured to the chain, “Have no shortage of.”
They reached the end of the grand hall, Wild snapped his fingers and with a great hiss the massive wall split in two, sliding forward and to the side to reveal the greatest of their robots, a massive Divine Beast with the build of a hero much like them, the helmet on the robot resembling a horse with a horn sticking straight out its head.
“May I introduce you to our most advanced Divine Beast, built from the remains of the dungeon in the bowels the shrine of resurrection: The Hero of Courage, Divine Beast Vah Farore,” The chain gave out some ooo’s and ah’s, Sky couldn’t help but notice the bot had Fi’s colors, which made him smile, oh how he missed his companion, but that was a trip for another day, right now he just wanted to see who got to pilot this big fucking robot.
Wind stepped up first, “This was my idea, I say I get to ride in the robot,” Wild nodded his head putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“I know you’re eager but the hero has to choose you too, and you need someone who’s drift compatible, someone who can follow your moves as if they are their own.” Wild looks up from the boy to his brothers in spirit, Sky takes a step forward raising a hand.
“As the author's favorite Link, and having stood next Wind in the last few updates I think I can do it, plus I’ve fought a storm before,” Sky winked at Wind who excitedly jumped up in place, the two of them walking towards the platform entrance to the robot. Wild directed his attention towards the rest of the chain.
“Alright while they test out their compatibility which is definitely going to work first try cuz the author is lazy, let's figure out a plan for the rest of us! Hyrule-” Wild pointed to the fairy boy, “We’ve got a storm to chase,” Hyrule nodded in affirmation, the two of them running off to track and find the storm that took Four.
“Back in my day we ain't chase no storms, we watched from the safety of our farm house!” Time chimed in withering away like a skeleton, Twi grabbed the shaky old man by the shoulders
“Sure Grandpa, now let's get you to bed.” Twi led the man towards the doors when Time piped up again.
“I beat up the moon you know,”
“I know grandpa..”
Legend looked around noticing he was left alone with Wars who was still posing for his fans.
“Wanna go dry up Lake Hylia?” The war veteran turned his sexy head towards the other veteran, and shrugged his shoulders.
“Sure why not?”
__
Wild led Hyrule to another room inside what looked to be a vehicle of sorts, it had a green tinge on the massive rear wheels, two dragon looking decorations above the front, Hyrule shook his head in disbelief.
“Wild! You’re not supposed to have this until Tears of the Kingdom releases!” Hyrule exclaimed in disbelief running his hands along the surface of the vehicle. Wild scoffed rubbing his thumb against his nose like cool guys do in anime.
“I preordered,”
With a mighty roar the vehicle’s engine came to life, Hyrule sat strapped on top near the big wheels, while Wild took the helm at the steering wheel, revving the engine to gather the attention of any passer by.
“Hold on to your windsock hat Rulie!!” Wild warned, the engine roared again as Wild turned the steering wheel sharply, the vehicle listing to one side as it drifted across the floor and out the doors of the facility, Hyrule gripped the wood of his ‘seat’ as he was jostled about by the cars forceful and jumpy movements.
“How’s it looking up there? See anything?” Wild questioned, his eyes focused on the dirt road ahead of them, though while Hyrule kept his eyes out for the storm carrying their friend he couldn’t help but hear, and feel the bounce of the car and the shout of a bokoblin as it was crushed under the vehicle's weight, and there was no way that wasn’t on purpose..
From a distance Hyrule could vaguely see the storm, still with its evil gaze, and from the flashes of green, red, blue, and violet, he could tell Four was still inside.
“On your six!” Hyrule called Wild shaking his head
“I don’t know what that means!” Wild still caught sight of the storm, turning the vehicle in its direction. Hyrule began to have his doubts about joining the wild child.
“Don’t you think this is a dangerous example of unsafe storm chasing?! Aren’t there procedures we should be following or something?!” Hyrule questioned while he held onto the back of the car
“Dude, who cares?! This story has a sentient tornado in it. Who cares how we chase it?!”
“You’re right! Let’s get this bitch!” Hyrule whooped as they headed straight for the behemoth of a tornado which had grown in size since they’d last seen it, nearly scalping any trees it passed, lifting more and more rocks and debris to add to its volume.
“It’s gotta be like an EF2 at this point, we can’t let it get any bigger or it could destroy everything in its path. Who knows how many could be killed or injured! 16? 11?” Hyrule put a hand on his head as he tried to calculate what that would mean for the future of Wild’s already rather empty Hyrule.
“It could be even more than that my friend. I’m sending a signal to Heroes Courage, I’m going to try and lead it away from the stables!”
Hyrule snapped his fingers, sparks flying from the tips.
“Right behind ya!”
__
The bot moved with the ease of a seasoned athlete, a hero even!! Wind and Sky moving in perfect harmony, each step as if it were their own just like Wild had said their bond allowed them to move in complete sync, Wind cackled in exhilaration. He honestly didn’t think this would work at first, but now that they were actually doing it his confidence was soaring which said a lot seeing as the whole everyone seeing him as a pathetic little kid was starting to get to him.
“I don’t think you’re pathetic,” Sky chimed up with a smile, Wind groaned, he forgot Sky could basically hear his thoughts in this thing, the Sky Child chuckled, and Wind groaned again, the man probably heard that too.
“Don’t worry too much about what the others think, I know that no matter your size you can overcome the biggest obstacle with tenacity and a little bit of courage,” The man winked at Wind playfully, knowing he wasn’t telling the kid something he didn’t already know, but it did help a bit.
Suddenly an alarm blared in their massive head, Hyrule and Wild had caught sight of the storm! It was time for them to head out and fight! Though they had no training in fighting they figured winging it would be better than nothing!
“You ready Wimdy?” Sky asked, Wind nodding in affirmation
“Whenever you are Lofty,”
___
Legend sat back in exhaustion, his arms wrapped around his stomach which groaned and ached at the slightest move, the boy tossed aside his multicolored bendy straw, drinking all of lake Hylia was going to be a lot harder than he thought.
“By the goddesses this is going to take forever!” He exclaimed, Wars took a gulp of the lake water, sitting back in the most sexy way possible.
“Yeah, maybe we should’ve brought better straws..” The man lamented his bedazzled straws ineffectiveness, “At least the water is freshwater so we won’t be too dehydrated,” He shrugged, and dipped the straw back into the water to take a few more sips. “It’s not very tasty though..”
Wars looked down at his reflection in the water, man he was gorgeous, no man has ever and will never look as pretty as he does, with his perfectly parted blonde hair, roman nose, strong chin, and perfect on point makeup. Who wouldn’t love an amazing wobbly face like that? Wait.. wobbly? War’s looked closely at his reflection again, the water rippled out and about, the ground beginning to shake around them, causing the water to splash up soaking him, though that wasn’t really an issue as his made him even more sexy!! Legend bolted up nearly hurling as the water in his system jostled in his stomach, the skies around them began to darken, the wind howled so loudly they couldn’t hear themselves think!
The two turned their heads in near unison to gaze upon the massive hulking Tornado which glared back at the two menacing from the bridge it was currently tearing apart. Debris begins to crash around them, Wars was stuck in place, his eyes fixed on the tornado, doesn’t see the boulder barreling towards him, Legend makes a split second decision, pushing the man out of the way, getting completely flattened by the boulder in the process.
“NO! LEGEND!” Warriors cried, but in a way that still made him look pretty, he ran up to Legends flattened body, picking up the papered hero who now flapped in the wind like a bed sheet. “They Flat Stanley’d you!!”
Paper Legend rolled his eyes not that Wars could see it.
“I know! Now use me as a kite and fly us out of here!!” Legend commanded, Warriors wiped away his beautiful glistening tears and opened the hero up, the wind catching under him immediately which launched both high up into the air at intense speeds, nearly popping Wars arms out of their sockets. The two careened through the air out of control, both screaming sure they were going to die as they barrelled towards the bridge's decorative gate, both shut their eyes ready to accept their fate when they were caught by a massive hand.
“You guys alright?” Two voices rang out from inside the massive robot that had caught them, Wars and Legend stared up in wonder at the massive mechanical masterpiece.
“You guys actually did it..” Legend whispered under his breath slowly reinflating due to the great winds and plot convenience.
The robot set the two down on the opposite side of the bridge they had previously been on, the Tornado having taken that spot.
“Now time to kick this storms ass,” Sky growled, Wind taking that as a cue to get a running start, Sky readying their weapon as they approached the tornado, their mechanical arm hummed and glowed an orange and blue as it warped itself into a sword, which they swung into the massive tornados body slicing through it almost completely.
The Tornado wouldn’t go down so quickly though, throwing its own punches in the form of many many boulders, pelting the bot in just a way that it obscured their vision just enough that the Tornado could get a good punch on the robots jaw, sending it backwards onto the bridge which surprisingly held up its weight.
Wind and Sky were sent back a bit but recovered quickly, righting the bot back into fighting position.
“Ready the blaster!!” Wind commanded, the horn atop the robot's head charging up as both boys kneeled down and lowered their heads to allow the full effect of the blast to strike the tornado. The Tornado charged forward despite the warning glow from the horn, the mega blast boring straight through the storm, disrupting its stability causing the entire thing to burst leaving behind only a few bits of dust, rocks, and a mixed up Four.
The boys exited the bot and rushed to their friends' side, the poor things colors had been completely mixed and now his hair, eyes, and clothes were completely brown, though it was a nice flattering brown, almost like a red or purple in hue.
“Awe man..” Four whined “Now I’m not the most colorful Link anymore…” It seemed this mix bothered Four a lot, but it didn’t bother the others who wrapped him up in a hug, just happy to finally have him back.
From a distance they heard the honk of a horn, Hyrule and Wild pulling up next to them with Twi and Old man Time in tow.
“You made it!” Sky chimed happily Wild giving a nod.
“You’d think we’d be dead with how unsafely we were storm chasing but we made it through somehow.” Hyrule remarked.
All was well again, the chain was together again, laughing, and smiling,
“Hey now that you’re all here… Do you wanna help me drain the lake?” Legend asked, fully reinflated again, and since the chain had nothing else to do, they each gave their own shrug and trudged down to the water's surface, taking out their personalized bendy straws and getting to work.
“Gah!!” Hyrule shouted “I swallowed a fish!”