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With half-lidded eyes, you watched every inhale and exhale he took, watching as the smoke curled up into the air, into your nose and your clothes, before it was carried off by the cold desert wind. Beneath the curtain of smoke and red-tinted shades, you could see his eyes trained on you in turn, watching your fingers curl around your jacket and thumbing the well-worn zipper.
How many nights was it now that you were both sitting out during night watch, sitting next to each other and sharing nothing except unbroken stares and the occasional drink? So many times you had contemplated saying something. Anything. A joke to crack the silence, a tease to humour something, reminiscing about the day's events-
-and every time you would open your mouth, the words would die in your throat, and you would simply look away to avoid the weight of his gaze on you.
You idiot, you would always curse yourself, what the hell's your problem?
Nicholas wasn't a difficult man to talk with but with every word he'd say, every time his gaze would pass yours, you felt something twist in your gut and you'd clam up in his presence. You wondered if he noticed the hold he had on you with something as mundane as a single look.
You figured he would. You'd learned that Nicholas was more perceptive than his chain-smoking and foul mouth let on, senses honed to an uncanny degree for reasons that you would never know. Not that you'd ever get the chance.
The wind blew again, but this time it changed direction, and before you knew it, cigarette smoke landed squarely in your face. You coughed wretchedly, taken by surprise, waving away the lingering smoke and cursing the stink of tobacco. From your side came an amused chuckle, and you scowled at Nicholas as you batted at his arm and settled into your jacket.
"Just so you know, I'm blaming you for that one," you grumbled as the smoke cleared.
His half-cocked smile stretched even wider. "Hey, 's not that bad once you get used to it."
Your eyes lingered on the way his eyebrows raised with his smile and the moons illuminated his shapely nose and the cords of muscle in his neck, thinking that you wouldn't mind it if it was for him. So instead you shook your head, looked away into the yawning desert sands, and waved him off. "Mm, I'll pass."
A few moments passed before you felt something shoved into your fingers and you jerked, looking back to find a fresh cigarette in your outstretched fingers. You looked up to see Nicholas leaning in, still with that half-cocked smile.
Your gaze flickered down to the little stick of white and brown as your heart jumped into your mouth, uncomprehending of what had just happened. But before you could allow yourself to spiral into your thoughts, you simply lifted it to your lips and looked up to meet his gaze.
"So, uh, you gonna hand me your lighter...?" you quietly whispered.
Nicholas let out a soft heh and leaned in closer. Calloused fingers gently tipped up your chin and he leaned in even more, ever so slowly that it felt like the world had stopped still. The tip of his cigarette met yours, pressing together until a second soft ember lit up both your faces.
There, in the light of two lit cigarettes, you saw that he had taken his glasses off, saw the rough patches of stubble that lined his chin, saw the way his smoke-grey eyes locked onto yours, and saw just how very close he was to you.
Seconds stretched into eternity as you both leaned into each other, cigarettes pressing as tender as kisses, and eternity ended in a second as your lungs violently rejected the tobacco and you jerked away in a fit of violent coughing.
Your cheeks burned ember-hot in embarrassment at the ruined moment, but the way you heard him laugh in a gentler tone made everything seem okay all of a sudden, and so you leaned into his side as you silently shared smoke well into the night.