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Uea doesn't know why he's here. He woke up from a nightmare, one of many these days since he saw his stepdad again, and before he knew it he was getting in his car and on his way to King's condo. He thought he had learnt to never trust someone; to never rely on anyone but himself, to always expect the worst to happen, to always expect getting abandoned when he's no longer of use to people. Uea doesn't understand why he's here.
But he's here. He's in front of King's door, his hand up in the air to knock on it. Is he going to knock the door? Is King even home?
How did he even get here?
He shouldn't be doing this. Uea has been hurt far too much in his life, he should understand that the only person who has his back is himself. But he needs.. he needs King?
A million thoughts race through this head, his rationale fighting with his feelings. He's about to turn around, go back to his condo and survive another episode of whatever this is that he's feeling without a shoulder to lean on.
When the door opens.
"Uea?" King. He's standing here, looking as frustratingly handsome as ever. Uea finds comfort in that smirk of his, that familiar feeling of fondness masquerading as annoyance blooming through him. He feels.. normal again. But then his precious smirk falls.
"Uea?" Hands hold his as he's pulled into his house. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
Then a hand cups his face, and suddenly he doesn't feel cold amymore. He holds that hand in his. He really doesn't want to let this hand go.
"Uea, you're worrying me now. What's going on? Are you hurt somewhere?" King then proceeds to check his arms for signs of wounds then glances his whole body multiple times. "What's wrong, baby?"
"I didn't.." Uea sounds weak. He hates sounding weak. "I didn't know where else to go."
At that, King's eyes soften. But not the pity stare his friends or his boyfriends used to give him when he confided in them. Rather, a look that made Uea think King already knows every dark thought running through his mind right now and he empathizes with him.
“Uea. If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.”
"Everything.. everything hurts, King. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe." He's pulled into a hug then, one of those hugs that suffocate you. But oddly enough Uea thinks he can breathe better again.
"Shh, you'll be fine, Uea." Hands card through his hair as sweet words whisper into his ear. "I'm here, I got you."
And Uea feels it again, that urge he's been feeling for the past few weeks to tell King those words. The words he promised he would never grant anyone ever again.
He promised he wouldn't fall for another person again, but here he was irrevocably in love.
"Hey, cutie." There is a kiss pressed into his cheek, another follows quickly after. He almost wants to pretend he's still sleeping, maybe that'll make this less embarrassing. Not only did he show up a complete mess last night to King's door, but he also partly confessed his grief. He also wants the kisses to continue because he'll never be able to ask for them.
"Your eyes flutter slightly when you try to act like you're asleep, you know?" Busted.
"I wasn't acting." For good measure, Uea stretches his limbs out and rubs at his eyes. A yawn too, just to be safe.
"You're so cute." King play bites at his cheek, which gets him hit on his shoulder and glared at.
"I need to get ready." God, and he's fully clothed in King's clothes. It's one thing getting up naked because of their uncomplicated friends with benefits relationship. But it's a whole other thing to spend the entire night here without said benefits.
"In a minute." And then there's a heavy arm tugging him towards King's body. "I feel cuddly."
Uea loves this. "I don't. Let me go." While doing absolutely nothing to get out of the embrace.
"Hey, it's a Monday. I need my motivation to get through the day. Plus you never let me hug you when we're at the office." Oh God, is King pouting right now?
"It's one of the rules that you agreed to." Uea points out.
"But now we're past the rules, aren't we?" King meets Uea's eyes then, and he realises he's not kidding.
Are we past the rules?
"I'm dropping you in front of the office today." He doesn't stop at their usual dropoff point, a block away from their actual office. Uea gapes like a fish for a few seconds, trying to decide whether he really wants to fight this. While he doesn't want the intrusiveness of their coworkers in their "relationship", he finds he's not totally aversed to the idea of them finding out.
"I was okay walking." Such a weakass attempt, Uea thought he was better than this.
"You barely had any sleep last night, you're tired. Just try not to do overtime today, okay? And I'm taking you home tonight. No buts, Uea." And Uea wishes he meant it in the way he usually does, but King doesn't. He doesn't mean he wants Uea to come over just for the "fun stuff", but Uea knows its because King worries. And the younger really doesn't mind.
He hides the smile as he gets out of the car and slings his bag over his shoulder. But then it happens.
King grabs hold of his hand.
"What do you think you're doing?" Uea tries to shake his hand off but King just grins as he holds it tighter.
"Since we're breaking rules already, I wanna push my luck further I guess." With that, his coworker pulls him into the office.
After depositing Uea to his deck with a flying kiss which was received with one of his trademark glares, King makes his way to his own desk. While Uea is lucky they arrived at the office earlier than his other teammates so none of them saw this display of affection, he feels petty too.
The day passes by pretty unceremoniously; Uea is drowned in work because of their recent huge project. Trying to keep his head afloat, he sneaks glances at his coworker sitting with his back facing him. He finds himself smiling whenever King does, tracing his lips with his eyes. King really does have the prettiest smile, his eyes narrowing into little crescents and his eyebrows rising when he finds something particularly amusing.
When Uea finally decides he's far too tired to go on, he gets up to make himself coffee. Out of the corner of the eye, he sees King get up too. After saying something to Gun, he follows him to the kitchen area.
"You're making it really obvious." Uea says with his back to the older, stirring the creamer in his coffee.
Then hands come up to wrap around him as King gently bites down on his shoulder. "I don't have anything to hide."
And maybe King doesn't understand the significance of what he just said. Uea has spent almost his entire life thinking that his sexuality, his relationships are something he has to hide; like they're wrong, like they're abnormal, as if something is wrong with him. Maybe it started with his mother but then slowly it felt like he was being judged everywhere.
But King.. King doesn't feel ashamed of his relationship with Uea. Rather, he seems proud of it.
"King." Uea turns around in his arms as he rests his hands on his shoulder linking them behind his neck. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I do." The elder rubs his nose against Uea's, "I know we've had arguments and we don't agree on half the stuff we talk about, but this is more than what we originally planned for this to be. And you know it as well as I do, Uea."
"I.." What is he supposed to answer to this? He rubs his hands absently on King's shoulders as he looks up at those eyes staring at him almost .. lovingly. "King."
And then he gets one of those genuine smiles from his coworker that make his head spin and his heart swirl, "Uea."
It's one of those nights again, when Uea feels it for the millionth time. He feels the walls closing in, the darkness suffocating him; he hears those words again. Those hurtful cutting words that his "mother" said to him that day, plus every day afterward when he didn't hide who he was.
It's a Saturday night, they've just gotten back from his office when the light goes off and he's right back where he was. He's locked in the tiny bathroom, and he's hurting.
He's seizing in on himself, feeling like he's drowning when he feels something .. saving him. There's an arm wrapping around him, pulling him back from the darkness. His eyes are still closed, he doesn't want his mother to hit him again. But the arm around him isn't hurtful, he's being pulled tighter as a voice is calling out to him repeatedly.
"Uea! Hey, baby, please wake up." There's brief kisses being pressed on his cheeks. "Please."
He feels something wet drop down to his temple, quickly followed by another.
"Wake up, it's just a nightmare, okay? They can't touch you here. I'm never letting anyone ever hurt you again."
King.
And Uea wants to wake up, wants to snap out of it. He wants to reach King, he wants King.
His eyes open, and he's in King's room. He's surrounded by deep blue plush comforters and pillows, he's surrounded by King's scent, he's surrounded by.. "King."
He's crying?
"Are you crying?" Uea's hands are on King's face now, slowly wiping away tears.
"You were panicking and you couldn't breathe and I got so scared." Uea has never seen King look so.. weak. So broken. As if there was something that could ever hurt him. He always seemed to invincible to Uea, a force that everyone bowed down to. But the younger finds how wrong he was.
"King." He wraps his arms around King's neck as he pulls him on top of him, "I'm okay. This happens a lot to me, you're just witnessing this the first time."
"This.. This happens a lot?" King's hands are running up and down Uea's sides as he pushes his face into the curve of his neck. "Why haven't you ever told me?"
"Because I don't like to dwell on my past more than my subconscious forces me to." Uea runs a hand through his hair.
"I don't know what happened to you, Uea, and I won't force you to tell me until you're absolutely ready to. But I promise you, with everything inside of me, that I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again if I can help it." King promises, pressing further into him.
And Uea can't help but smile. He knows there are some things that even King can't control, some things that are so intrinsic to him that nothing can control them. But he believes King when he says he'll protect Uea, because even if one day he is going to get hurt again, he knows he can always come back here and back into this comforting embrace. He can always come home.
"Thank you, King."
~ fin