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Yuken opened his eyes. The first thing that greeted his vision was a white ceiling, decorated with cornice, way too elaborate for a room meant for a poor servant like him.
Ah, right. This was not his room.
Yosuke forced him to stay in this room meant for esteemed guests, not for a gardener that can barely read like him. It’s so he and the doctor can take care of him better , he explained once when Yuken complained about the room. Yuken learned to not argue with Yosuke, especially as his body got weaker and weaker everyday.
Yuken blinked his eyes awake, turning his head to the side. Yosuke was opening the window curtain. A tray of food decorated the bedside table, Yosuke must’ve brought it in before he was awake.
The young doctor took notice of Yuken and rushed to his side. He held Yuken’s hand as the servant sat up. His hand touched Yuken’s forehead, checking the temperature. Yuken felt better than yesterday, and based on Yosuke’s expression after the temperature check, he seemed to agree. If his luck continued, Yuken might be able to walk around the house today. Yosuke took a plate from the tray and offered a spoonful of breakfast to Yuken.
What a funny situation it was, the servant became unable to serve, and the master cared for the servant instead. Yosuke always told him he did this because he wanted to, not out of guilt or forced by anyone. Still, the guilt remained in Yuken’s heart, but he kept quiet. He wouldn’t let Yosuke see him cry again, not after last time. It was embarrassing, breaking down in front of Yosuke over his dying fate. Despite that, Yosuke embraced him to sleep.
Yuken reminded himself again that Yosuke was a kind man.
Yuken drank the concoction of medicine provided by the doctor. Yosuke took the tray of empty plates, it’s a miracle that today Yuken could finish his meal. Today was a lucky day.
Yuken laid back on the bed, closing his eyes.
Yuken opened his eyes. The room was brightly lit from the sunlight, it must’ve been midday. He looked to the side and saw Yosuke sitting on one chair, reading a book to a few children that surrounded him. They were children of the servants working for the Todorokis, most of them born here as both their parents work in the manor.
Yuken knew Yosuke was a selfless man, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He was the one who taught Yuken how to read and write, he was the one who visited the orphanage with Yuken and read books for the children. He visited the servants’ wing to teach the servants’ children how to read, write, and count. It didn’t take long for the children to take a liking of him.
Yosuke saw him waking up and quickly abandoned his seat. He moved to the bed, followed by the children. They missed Yuken, he explained, thus he let them in with the promise of staying quiet and letting Yuken rest.
Ah, what a wonderful group of children they were. Yuken missed them as much as they missed him.
And what a wonderful person Yosuke was, entertaining the children, even though as a master he had no obligation to care for his servants’ descendants.
Yuken let the sound of the children chattering lulled him to sleep, closing his eyes.
Yuken opened his eyes. The ceiling was painted orange, he guessed it’s almost dusk. Sounds of hushed whispers entered his ears. He turned his head, looking for the source of whispers. He saw Yosuke and the Todoroki family’s doctor talking, keeping their volume low. He couldn’t make up the words in their conversation, but he could guess based on their expression alone.
He was not getting better. There’s little to no hope left.
Yuken knew it from the start. When he first coughed up blood in his room months ago. When he felt the world spinning every time he took a step. When he couldn’t keep his meal in his stomach. When he fainted in front of Yosuke in the garden. Yuken was ready to embrace death.
Yuken was ready to give up, but Yosuke was not. When he moved Yuken from the garden to inside the house. When he immediately commanded everyone to call the doctor. When he carried Yuken to the room that now became his almost permanent residence. When he brought Yuken food, medicine, and everything that was needed every day. Todoroki had one goal in mind, that was to heal Yuken completely.
“You do remember that I’m studying to become a doctor, don’t you? I won’t ever give up on you, so please do not give up just yet.”
Unlike him, Yosuke was a fighter.
Yuken recalled Yosuke’s words that became his light, closing his eyes.
Yuken opened his eyes. The room was dark, it was probably almost midnight. He turned his head to his right and a sleeping Yosuke greeted him. His hands were holding Yuken’s right hand, clutching it close. Yuken observed Yosuke’s face. He seemed to be frowning in his sleep, something must’ve upset him in his dream. Dark circles decorated his under eyes. He was only twenty three, yet the stress Yuken must’ve caused him aged him. Regardless, they didn’t erase the handsomeness that radiated from Yosuke.
Yuken tried to turn his body with as little movement and noise as possible, praying that he wouldn’t disturb the sleeping man. His body was now facing Yosuke, observing the man as his mind wandered.
His mind wandered to the first time Yosuke offered to teach him how to read, back then he was supposed to leave the library after he replaced the flowers, but Yosuke noticed him looking at the books, then pulled him to study. To the times when Yosuke insisted that he wanted to keep Yuken company as the gardener took care of the flowers and bushes.
To the time when Yosuke left his family’s new year’s eve party so he could go to the servants’ wing, celebrating the new year with the servants instead. To the time they greeted the new year together, their hands holding each other. Yuken remembered that night well, the night when he realised he had fallen for his master. Yet at the same time, he realised the odds of his love changing anything is closer to zero.
Yosuke defeated all odds, as expected of a brilliant man like him. He stuck with Yuken at all time, back when Yuken was still able to work in the garden. He stayed with Yuken after he had fallen ill, putting his responsibility and study behind in order to take care of Yuken. He held Yuken’s hand when Yuken doubted his own recovery. He hugged Yuken when Yuken wanted to give up. He kissed Yuken to shut him up, stopping him from pushing himself down.
“If i loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”
Yosuke said so, despite both of them knowing how little time Yuken had.
Yuken checked the clock on the wall. Midnight has passed. Yuken smiled, he whispered, “Happy twenty fourth birthday. I love you, Yosuke.” He used his left hand to caress Yosuke’s hair lightly. Yosuke stirred, but showed no signs of waking up, instead pulling Yuken’s hand even closer to his chest.
Yuken sighed, closing his eyes.
He opens his eyes. Everything is blurry. He blinks his eyes a few times to clear his vision. A stone ceiling and a few wooden pillars supporting the ceiling greet him. His mind is overwhelmed with what feels like thousands of senses. The light on his eyes, whirring noise on his ears, burned smell on his nose. He can feel his limbs becoming awake, after being asleep for what feels like eternity.
The sound of rapid footsteps is heard. He feels a pair of hands touch him, before the hands move to touch his face. The face of a man enters his vision. The man has dark hair, a few strands of grey ones are visible here and there. The eyes staring at him are brown and filled with tears that almost spill. A few lines decorated the man’s face, from years of frowning or smiling. Thin layer of facial hair frames the man’s strong jaw.
He sees the man’s mouth moving frantically before the voice enters his ears. “...ken? Yuken?! Yuken?! You are awake! Holy- I did it! You’re awake! Yuken-”
Drops of tears from the man’s eyes fall to his cheek as the man continues to repeat his words. He just woke up, but he can feel a lifetime worth of gratitude and relief from the man’s intonation.
The repeated words awaken the buried memories in his mind, and he realises three truths at that moment.
One, his name is Yuken.
Two, the man holding his head was, is , his lover, Todoroki Yosuke, years after the last time he closed his eyes.
Three, Yosuke keeps his promise of not giving up on him.
Yuken tries to open his mouth and speak. “Yo-yosuke?” his voice raspy after over ten years of silence. The call prompts more tears to fall from Yosuke’s eyes. The gratitude from Yosuke’s mouth is replaced with “I love you”s.
Yuken forces his stiff arms to move. His hands reach for Yosuke’s face. He smiles, “I love you too.”
Yosuke closes the distance between them, his lips touch Yuken’s tenderly, his hands holding Yuken’s face as if he is a precious jewelry.
Yuken smiles and closes his eyes, leaning into the kiss.