Chapter Text
It was a stupid mistake, really. Walking and looking at your phone in the middle of a busy city intersection was the last way you thought you would die. And what made it worse (and a million times more embarrassing) was that you had died while reading a fan fiction about Trigun.
A friend had sent it to you while you were on your way home from work. Your usual commute consisted of a ride on the subway, followed by a 10 minute walk back to your tiny apartment. You had become embarrassingly invested in the plot, continuing to read as you walked out of the subway station. You didn’t even see the car that hit you.
You wake up in the middle of the desert. Or, you think it’s a desert. You have no idea where the hell you are. Your clothes are the same, and your backpack is a few feet away, half-unzipped and spilling sand. It looks like you fell from the sky.
You spit sand and drag yourself into a sitting position, trying to assess you surroundings. Confused, you fumble for your phone, only to find it missing. You must have dropped it when the car hit you. Your backpack contains your daily water bottle, your laptop (which you don’t bother to open) and a few other useless items. You take a moment to sip some water to clear the taste of dirt from your mouth before scanning the wasteland before you.
At first you can barely make out the red figure in the distance. You squint, not sure if what you’re seeing is really there. No, that is definitely a man, wearing something that looks like a red, hooded jacket, hauling a bag over his shoulder. Panic overtakes you and you begin to shout, rasping and desperate to get his attention. You see him stop and look your way.
“Hey! I need help! I don’t know where I am!” You manage to cry out. You’re old enough to know it’s dangerous to call out to strangers, but this feels like an exception. You remain seated in the sand, clutching your backpack like a lifeline.
He begins a half-jog half-run in your direction, bag still slung over his shoulder. “Hang on a second, I’ll be right there!” You watch him approach and begin to feel nauseous as you recognize the figure running towards you. Fluffy blond hair sweeping over his forehead, yellow-tinted glasses shielding blue eyes. A long, hooded red coat. A teal prosthetic arm made of crystal. You think you might throw up, or pass out, or both.
“Hey, are you okay?” He’s standing over you, shading you from the sun. You stare at him in disbelief, your mind completely blank. He kneels down to look you in the eyes and you scuttle back a few feet, not out of fear but surprise.
“Who-who-who- Where-“ You manage to sputter a few words out before your mouth is too dry to talk. Kneeling a few feet away from you, in the flesh, is Vash The Stampede, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
The world tilts on its axis. Suddenly, the heat of the desert is too much for you, and the last thing you see is him reaching forward to catch you before you pass out.
The first thing you notice when you wake up is how sore you are. Your head is throbbing, and your mouth tastes like sand. You groan, reaching up to rub your aching temple but instead your hand comes in contact with the cool, wet rag that’s been placed on your forehead. Startled, you sit up quickly, your head screaming in protest.
“Easy, easy,” you hear someone say. The voice has a calming effect, and you let yourself lean forward onto your knees. He hands you water, and without question you take a few long pulls from the flask. Your head is still throbbing when you finally have gained enough sense to look him in the eyes.
You’re met with a warm, concerned gaze. You almost forget the insanity of your situation, losing yourself for a moment in the most beautiful blue eyes you’ve ever seen. Vash is sitting next to you, a hand rubbing small circles on your back.
He speaks before you have the chance to. “Oh, man, I’m so glad you’re okay. It was pretty startling to find you out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a bottle of water and that weird tech.” He gestures vaguely to your backpack a few feet away. “You passed out as soon as I got to you.” He laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “It’s a good thing I happened to be passing by! What a coincidence!”
You’re sure you’re dreaming. You don’t know what to say, so you sit in stunned silence, staring at him. He awkwardly clears his throat and continues to speak, moving away to a safe distance and busying his hands with making a fire. “You look like you took a pretty nasty fall, and you’re probably dehydrated. You should probably rest for a while. You can’t keep traveling in that state.”
The shock is beginning to wear off, and you manage to croak out what sounds like it could be a thanks or okay. You look around the tiny camp for a moment before you notice that your phone is placed on your jacket that has been folded neatly near your bag. You make a sound somewhere between a choke and a shout as you practically leap forward to grab it. He falls back with a startled “Oh!”
“My phone!” You shout. Your voice is the clearest it’s been since you woke up.
“Your what?” Vash stays leaning back slightly, an arm raised in front of him in surprise.
“It’s, a piece of tech, like a communication device,” you manage to say as you search it over, pressing the power button frantically. The screen is cracked badly, but you’re hoping it will turn on. After a moment you realize it won’t, and in frustration you toss it to the side, half burying it in the sand. “Piece of shit,” you mumble. You wrap your arms around your shins and rest your head on your knees.
You hear Vash stand up quietly and walk over to where you’ve thrown your phone. You look up slightly and watch him pick it up, dusting it off carefully and placing it at your side. “I’m not sure what it is, but maybe I can fix it. Hold onto it, okay?” His voice is soft.
With every passing moment the situation becomes more real to you. Your phone is broken, and you’ve been dropped into No Man’s Land by some miracle (or curse), and you’re sitting with none other than Vash The Stampede himself. Okay. This is completely and totally normal. You grunt in agreement and slip the broken phone into your pocket. You’re trying to decide what you should do. Should you tell him you know everything about him? That you’ve read about his entire life in fiction? That you’ve watched him? All of these options sound terrible, the best case scenario ending with him being completely freaked out by you.
You decide to play dumb. “What’s your name?” You ask. Not that dumb, you think, of course you would know who he is, he's famous. “I mean, you look familiar…” You fain shock as you pretend to realize who you’re sitting with. “You! Are you by any chance the legendary Vash the Stampede? The ace gunman known to never miss his mark?” You bring your hand up to your mouth. You’re hoping you sold it well enough.
It seems to have worked. He puffs up a little, a slight blush on his face. “Oh, you mean the handsome and powerful Vash the Stampede? The man with a six billion double dollar bounty on his head, wanted in every town and city across No Man’s Land? Why yes, I am that man!” He makes a show of flexing his arms, shooting finger guns playfully in your direction.
You can’t help but laugh, half at him and half at the absurdity of the situation. He drops the act and it’s replaced with a warm smile that makes your chest hot.
“That’s better,” he says. His tone is soft. “I thought I would never see you smile.” He returns to tending the fire. “I don’t know how you ended up in the middle of the desert, but you can stay with me as long as you need.”
His words make your heart skip a beat, and suddenly you’re pained with white hot embarrassment as you recall all the moments in the past few months where you told your friends how cute you thought he was, and the things you would do to him if he were real. You’ve had a crush on every version of him, ever since you were a kid. You didn’t know he was actually real in some universe.
You groan, burying your face in his coat, which he draped over you while you were unconscious. “Hey, are you okay? You’re not going to be sick, are you…” He sounds concerned for both you and the jacket you have clutched in your hands. You look up and see him reaching out tentatively, eyes darting between you and his coat.
“I’m fine,” You give a little wave. He relaxes a little, and you decide to change the subject. “Where were you headed to, Vash?”
“I’m headed to Octovern. I need some spare parts for my gun, and I heard there’s a reasonable dealer there,” he says casually. You recall Octovern from the manga, and silently figure this won’t be his last time visiting. “Is there somewhere you need to go?”
“Oh…” You were so busy thinking about Vash and your broken phone that you haven’t yet thought about what to do next. You feel a little sick. “Well, there’s no way for me to get back home,” you laugh ruefully. Vash gives you a questioning look but doesn’t press. You consider whether or not you should tell him you’re from another world entirely. You should be able to get away with that much, as long as you don’t mention that you know his entire life story.
“This is going to sound crazy, and you probably won’t believe me,” you begin, your nerves causing your voice to tremble slightly. You have his full attention now. “I’m not really from around here. I’m… from somewhere really, really far away actually.” You’re too nervous to look him in the eyes, so you look into the fire instead.
“I’m… not really sure I’m following,” he says. His voice is a little apprehensive. “Where are you from, exactly?”
You swallow the lump in your throat, shrinking further into yourself. “Earth?” you say meekly, like it’s a question. You risk a glance at his face and are met with the expression you were expecting, one of bewilderment. He looks like his mind is stalling out.
“You’re… From Earth?” He lets out a small, fake chuckle. “I mean, aren’t we all from Earth, technically?”
“No,” you say. “Well, yes, technically, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is,” your voice is starting to pick up speed as you begin to panic over what his reaction will be. “What I mean is that I’m from Earth, like actual Earth, from when there were still billions of people living on it. I was going about my normal life, walking home from work, and I think I-“ you choke a little. “I think I died, and that’s how I ended up here.” You remember the car, and your shoulders begin to shake. Suddenly, the damn breaks and you’re crying, a delayed reaction to finding out you’re possibly dead and stranded on an alien planet.
Vash is by your side in a moment. You don’t bother to look at him as he wraps an arm around you, tugging you close to him. You just accept it, leaning into his shoulder while large tears roll down your cheeks and into your lap. He doesn’t question you further, instead rubbing your arm and cooing softly that it’s okay, everything is okay.
It takes you a while to calm down, and Vash lets you stay leaning against him as you tell him what you recall. He is quiet for a long time, trying to process your story. Finally, he begins to question you.
“So, let me get this straight. You’re from Earth, but not our Earth, a different Earth, from the past… Or maybe another timeline… And the reason you’re here is because you… Died?” He sounds much calmer than you would have expected; it must be the 150 years of experience dealing with crazy shit that is keeping him calm.
“Yes,” you say matter-of-factly. “I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn’t make this up if I tried.” You’re not entirely sure of how you can convince him.
He thinks for a long moment, absent-mindedly rubbing your arm in a way that gives you goosebumps.
“Well,” he says finally. “That would explain the weird old tech, and your clothes. I’ve never seen someone look so clean before.” He laughs. “There’s no way you got those from anywhere on this planet.”
Your head turns quickly to look at him. “You seriously believe me?” You would be embarrassed by the closeness of his face if you weren’t so surprised. He is so close you can feel his breath.
It’s his turn to look surprised. “Why wouldn’t I? It doesn’t seem to me like you’re lying, given that you were crying like a baby about it a minute ago.” Your face flushes with embarrassment and you wiggle out of his embrace, pushing him away. You know you wouldn’t be able to knock him over, even with your full body weight, but he lets it seem like you’ve managed to shove him back a few inches. “Okay, I’m sorry, I was just kidding,” he says sheepishly. “Too soon for jokes.”
You huff and decide to let it go. “Anyways, I have no idea what to do now. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to get home. I don’t have any money, and no way of protecting myself.” You fight the urge to curl into a ball.
“Well, I don’t know about getting you home,” Vash says, standing up and brushing off his pants. “But as for everything else, just stick with me.” He points a thumb at himself and smiles. “I might not look like much, but I’m the legendary Vash The Stampede, and I’ll protect you no matter what.” He laughs for a moment before he stops suddenly, a look of realization on his face. “Hey, if you just landed on this planet, how do you know my name?”
Oops. You obviously didn’t think this through.