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There is a letter in Rikki’s bedside drawer. It is crumpled and smudged and pushed into the farthest corner that it can possibly go. If she doesn’t look at it, she won’t think about Emma. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Wrong.
In the dead of night, when Rikki is absolutely certain that no one is around, she opens the drawer and smoothes out the crumpled page on her pillow. She reads every line over and over until her eyes strain and blur from sleepiness. Then she falls asleep, letter clutched carefully in her hand.
In the morning, she crumples the letter and pushes it to the back of her drawer all over again.
—
It’s different without Emma. An uncomfortable awkwardness lingers between Cleo and Rikki. An awkwardness that has never been fully realized without Emma’s endearing presence. Cleo is a nice girl, but she doesn’t butt heads with Rikki; Doesn’t challenge her opinions; Doesn’t participate in that tongue-and-cheek banter.
Cleo isn’t Emma.
—
Rikki is sitting on a stool in Cleo’s kitchen. They’re both trying to forget their trio isn’t a trio anymore. That’s when she notices it: the locket. The stone in the necklace, it’s grey instead of blue.
“Is that Emma’s necklace?”
“Oh, yeah, Emma gave it to me a week ago. I didn’t know why, but now…” Cleo’s voice trails off. It still hurts that Emma just up and left the country without even telling them.
“She asked for mine in return.” Cleo continues, “Something to remember us by.” She wistfully remarks, her hand resting on her chin.
Yeah, us. Rikki scoffs internally. More like you.
Her pop begins to bubble when Cleo’s back is conveniently turned. It begins to simmer down into regular carbonation by the time Cleo pours herself a glass.
“I wonder what she’s doing now…” Cleo sighs, looking like a lost puppy in the rain.
“I got a postcard in the mail today.” Rikki says nonchalantly. “She’s in Paris. Has a hotel room in eyesight of the Eiffel Tour and everything.”
“Really? Paris?” Cleo twirls around. “The city of love!” She does a little dance and starts humming La Vie En Rose out of key.
Rikki rolls her eyes, amused. “It’s a big hunk of metal. What’s the point? Hope she doesn’t have to eat any snails.”
“Ew!” Cleo sticks out her tongue playfully. “Mrs. Gilbert would faint if she ever saw a snail on her plate. Hey, that rhymed! I bet she’s living it up eating fresh pastries every morning.”
Rikki snickers. Okay, maybe Cleo isn’t too bad. Cleo babbles on about her perfect imagined life in Paris, but Rikki’s tuning it out.
—
Rikki and Emma are in a cramped cafe. The streets are bustling outside and there’s a perfect crisp in the air, like the weather is on the cusp of fall. They’re both enjoying these big, steaming cups of coffee with milk foam on top.
“You missed a spot.” Emma teases, pointing out a little spot of foam on Rikki’s upper lip.
Rikki wipes her cheek, missing the foam on purpose. “Did I get it?” She asks cheekily.
“No. Here, let me do it.” Emma leans over the chipped wooden table, her face inching closer and closer to Rikki’s…
—
“Hey! Earth to Rikki!” Cleo cocks her head to the side, her hands planted firmly on her hips.
“Whuh? Oh, sorry Cleo. I didn’t mean to space out that much.” That’s true, she only meant to ignore Cleo a *little* bit.
“I get it. I’m the same way.” Cleo smiles, her pigtails swinging around as she moves her head.
—
Today wasn’t bad. Rikki couldn’t complain. She lies on her bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling. Emma’s worn letter rests on her chest. Rikki realizes that Cleo is pretty alright.
She isn’t Emma, but Rikki’s not sure if she wants to replace Emma anymore.
Still, the locket trade. The implications gnaw at the back of her mind. Did Emma trust Cleo more than her? Did Emma like Cleo more than her? Rikki’s doubts wash over her.
*Of course,* They whisper to her, quiet and grating. *Cleo and Emma have been friends forever. They’ve never liked you as much as you like them. They only let you tag along because you share the secret.*
Rikki rolls over in a huff, squeezing her eyes shut. She pulls the covers over her head. The letter lies crumbled up on the carpet.