Chapter Text
It had to be around midnight, maybe a little earlier, when Eric had found himself quickly sitting up in his cot in a panicked state of mind. His breathing was labored, and he clutched his chest with a ferocity as if to confirm that it was still there, not impaled like he vividly felt in the nightmare that just woke him.
Once he feels the intact flesh, albeit a bit scarred up beneath his shirt from instances before the mission, Eric blows out a shallow and shaky breath, closing his eyes to allow himself to calm down for a moment. It takes a few seconds but he opens his eyes again, adjusting to the dark of his room.
Despite the realization that it was just a bad dream
and that he was in a, what he can assume for now, relatively safe place, he still didn’t feel like he could just lay back down and fall asleep. So he turns himself to sit on the edge of the bed, sliding the pant leg of his joggers up so he can attach his prosthetic, which also lied beside the bed.
Once he’s sure it’s in place, he wearily stands to confirm it, walking towards the door of his temporary room and stepping out into the halls of the military base that CENTCOM was keeping them in for the time being.
This place felt so different just a few days ago.
Eric began to wander the dark halls to clear his head of the nightmare, but it didn’t take long before he realized it might not have been as good idea as he initially thought. The dark corridors began to resemble the wretched caves more and more, the unfinished construction of the building only adding to the illusion. It was unnervingly quiet, and he was almost close to turning back around and sitting alone with his thoughts in his own room.
However, when he had turned the first corner of the hall, a light in one of the small rooms had seeped from the doorless entrance, distracting him from his initial thoughts. Eric’s curiosity gets the better of him as he approaches slowly, assuming it was one of his fellow comrade’s temporary rooms in their quarantined stay.
Of all the things he was expecting to see, Sergeant Nick Kay curled in on himself on the floor and quietly sobbing into his arms was definitely not one of them.
Eric had seen his fair share of hysteria, had experienced moments akin to it himself too, but there was something so jarring about Nick - seemingly emotionless tough guy and quite frankly, a jackass, in Eric’s initial humble opinion - being the one in extreme desolation.
“Nick?” He asks, and the sergeant’s head shoots up to reveal a distressed and tear ridden face. Eric doesn’t let the shock of the sight nor his lingering anger for the other man stop him from stepping over to Nick and dropping to his level on the ground.
The closer Eric is, he sees that Nick’s hands are shaking, labored breathing dangerously uneven and face morphed into one of extreme distress.
“What is it, what happened?” He tries to ask calmly, not wanting to alarm Nick anymore than he clearly already was. If Eric didn’t know better, he’d say this was a panic attack.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” he instructs, careful not to make any sudden movements. “You’re going to be okay, I just need you to look at me, alright?”
Nick does so, heavy lidded eyes wet with tears. “I can’t,” he manages to get out shakily. “I’m- I’m not, I can’t.” he frantically repeats. A part of Eric aches to witness something he’s been through countless times from an outside perspective. He can almost taste the burning in Nick’s throat himself, can feel the tightening of his own chest at the lack of air Nick seems to be getting.
“You will be, you just need to breathe.” Eric assures. “We’re going to breathe together, alright? Just do what I do and I promise you’re going to get through this.”
Nick only nods in response this time, closing his eyes to swallow down a breathless gasp before opening them and focusing on Eric again.
“We’re going to breathe in through the nose for five seconds, okay?” Eric asks, and Nick nods again, desperate for this to just go away. Eric then demonstrates, to which Nick follows suit.
Speaking with the breath still held in his chest, he then directs Nick to hold it for three seconds. He does, though it seems like a struggle as his hands continue to tremble.
If Eric’s honest, this could be a pretty risky move considering the state of panic Nick seemed to be in, but he moves his hand on top of Nick’s, cupping it gently as to stop the shaking. “Let it out through your mouth for five seconds,” He directs, and Nick does it in tandem with Eric.
“We’re going to do that a few more times, okay? You’re doing good.” Eric says, and he begins to move his hand away, but Nick catches it with his other hand, shaking his head.
“Please, just,” the speech sounds slightly more controlled than his previous words. “Don’t let go yet. I can’t.” Eric fills in the blank that Nick had meant he couldn’t stop shaking on his own and understands the helpless feeling well.
So he nods, squeezing slightly to reassure that he wouldn’t let go. “Five in,” He reiterates, and Nick complies, following all three steps. As they continue to breathe, Eric doesn’t have to say it out loud any more as it starts to become natural to Nick again.
In just a few minutes, Nick’s breathing is back to normal. His chest rises and falls gently, and his hands have stopped their trembling. He blows out one shaky breath before opening his eyes again to see Eric in his blurry line of vision.
Eric stays quiet for a second, allowing Nick a moment to recollect himself. When he blinks a few times like he’s just registering that the bad moment is over, Eric then asks, “How’re you feeling?”
“Like I can breathe again,” Nick says matter of factly, voice slightly embarrassed but completely lacking any quivering like it had been. “You…I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up.”
Eric smiles at Nick’s affirmation, moving from where he crouched in front of him to sit beside him on the floor instead.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He wants to ask Nick if he actually was better, wants to know what might’ve caused the panic attack in the first place and how long he’d been struggling before Eric had helped him, but he doesn’t pry. He figures it best to let Nick bring up what caused it if he wanted to talk about it.
Plus, it didn’t seem in good conscience to meddle Nick into delving into his trauma when this was maybe the third interaction between the two since they’d been quarantined a week back. It wasn’t like they were at each other’s throats anymore, but there was still some awkward tension there that Eric was more keen to ignore than resolve.
Eric wonders if Nick harbors a similar irrational anger towards him despite the fact that Rachel had ended it with both of them. Even she had made an effort to make casual conversation with both of them every so often since then, but that’s not something Eric wants to be thinking about right now. He really doesn’t want to be the last one who’s still mad and-
“Have you…had to deal with something like that before?” Nick questions hesitantly, breaking the small bout of silence and interrupting Eric’s thoughts, and the blond has to stop himself from pathetically laughing at the countless times he had before he concludes that there’s really nothing funny about it.
“I have,” he responds honestly. “And I still do from time to time.”
Nick seems sad to hear that response, looking back down at his own lap as he quietly asks, “So is that gonna keep happening?”
Eric doesn’t want to upset him, stress him out into possibly having another one but he doesn’t want to lie either. “It might,” he says. “But it does get easier. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are still times where I have pretty bad ones but…you learn to adapt and recover from them.”
He’s quiet for a second before continuing. Maybe this could be his chance to make things decent between the two, if not completely fixed. “I’m here if it does happen again, though. That’s not something you have to deal with alone.”
Nick looks back up at Eric, eyes dry now but still slightly red and puffy. They contrast the small smile he wears.
“Thanks, Eric. You’re a good guy.”
Despite himself, Eric flusters at the genuine compliment, clearing his throat to respond. “Don’t mention it. I’m…well, you’re still technically my team. You can come to me with shit like that. I’m just a hallway down.”
Nick nods, taking the offer to heart, but then he squints his eyes slightly. “Actually, that kinda reminds me; what were you doing up so late right now?” he nods his head over to Eric.
Eric completely forgot the whole reason he had found Nick in the first place was because he wanted to get his mind off of his own panic inducing dream, and he doesn’t know if it’s selfish to be semi-grateful for the distraction.
“I, uh, I couldn’t really sleep myself.” He admits, deciding to leave out the fact about the nightmare, and looks back at Nick. “I was just walking around the halls to clear my head.” And then I came across you, goes unsaid.
Nick listens intently. “You wanna talk about it?”
Eric puts a hand out to signal that he was fine, but smiles. “Thanks though, I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it.” Nick echos, and Eric can hear the sincerity.
He figures that now’s about a good time to verify the sergeant’s well-being one last time before leaving for his room, but Nick says something abruptly and it stops Eric from doing anything.
“I’m uh. I’m sorry about...you know.”
There’s a multitude of ways Eric can take that: Nick’s sorry that he partook in Rachel’s cheating? That Rachel ‘broke up’ with Eric despite them still being legally married? That Nick was such an immature dick who acted like he was owed her choice of partner?
Was be sorry for being an antagonistic asshole the moment Eric stepped foot in Camp Slayer? For not following orders throughout that night? Or was it that he knocked the shit out of him in the temple? He decides Nick could’ve probably meant all options.
“It’s okay,” He’s hesitant. It’s almost just a natural response to an apology - forgiveness. But he isn’t sure he’s really forgiven him completely, if he would ever be able to let it all go eventually. “I…yeah. It’s okay.”
Nick looks doubtful, uncomfortable even, but he nods. “I’ve been wanting to apologize actually, but if I’m being completely honest with you - which I think I’m way past the point of now - I was too fucking cocky to admit I was an asshole off rip, not you.”
“I was kind of an asshole too,” Eric admits, and he isn’t expecting to get a laugh out of Nick but he does, and it emits a small laugh of his own. Bonding with his ex-wive’s ex-boyfriend has to be the one of the strangest moments of his life, third only to losing his leg and surviving alien vampiric monsters.
“I mean, not as much as you, but…” he adds and Nick grins again, shaking his head.
“You pack a fuckin’ mean right hook.” Nick confesses.
Eric is surprised to hear that considering he almost thought he was concussed when Nick had punched him back. “Yeah, well so do you. I still have a goddamn headache from that hit.” He says it jokingly, but can almost feel the impact again just by thinking about it.
“Yeah, well I’m the one who’s still got a bruise from it, so let’s not make it a competition. That is unless you wanna lose.” Nick responds with a small breath of laughter.
Eric whips his head to look at the other and low and behold, Nick wasn’t lying: although almost healed, a small contusion resides right on Nick’s cheekbone.
“Holy shit, I didn’t know I did that,” he worriedly says, but Nick seems unfazed. “I’m sorry.”
“I deserved it,” Nick jokes, but then turns to the other. “Besides, I think you’ve made up for it.” he admits with a soft smile.
Again, Eric dismisses his help as something that wasn’t a big deal, mostly because he doesn’t really know how to accept gratitude over something like that.
“Are you gonna be okay by yourself tonight?” Eric asks before he can really think about it, and the genuine question seems to surprise Nick just as much as it surprised himself. “I mean, you know…”
Nick quickly recovers, shaking his head despite the answer that contrasted the gesture. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good now. Thanks to you. You should probably head to sleep, it’s late.”
“You try to get some sleep, too.” Eric encourages. “God knows we probably haven’t been getting enough lately, huh?” He jokes, but it’s not far from the truth, and Nick nods to it.
They both stand as Eric begins to get ready to leave, some of the awkwardness lingering after the conversation had ended. He makes his way to the entrance, ready to head back to his room and sleep without another nightmare.
“Night, Colonel.” Nick sends him off with, and Eric replies with a goodnight of his own before leaving and making his way down the broken down halls.
Maybe things wouldn’t be so terrible between them after all.