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They probably had different room assignments at the start of the tour, but after room keys swapped hands over and over again and Wooyoung and San somehow always ended up together, management gave up and left the members to their own devices. Because of this, San gets post-concert Wooyoung all to himself. He gets post concert Wooyoung who is still brimming with adrenaline, who crashes his lips to San’s as soon as the door shuts behind them(and sometimes a moment before), who pushes him back through the room until they collapse together against the crisp sheets of a hotel bed.
This Wooyoung is a reflection of the fiery, passionate being that exists on the stage, the one that San will never fail to be in awe of. He’s aware of his own presence on stage, he knows just what facial expressions to pull and what ways to twist his body to get Atiny to scream, but there is an aura about Wooyoung that always throws him off guard, no matter how many times he sees the love of his life perform. The phrase “born to be idol” gets thrown around a lot in their industry, but San doesn’t see how Wooyoung could be called anything else. He lives for the stage, for the screams and cheers of their fans, for the rush of energy that comes from performing and doing what you love. That energy that surrounds him is what first drew San to him when they were trainees, what made him wonder why a Bighit trainee would leave behind the potential of guaranteed success at a name-brand company to join KQ’s shot-in-the-dark experiment.
He would come to learn that the reason he left is the reason San fell so hard and fast for him. Because more than his passion for performing, more than his affinity for seduction and effortless entertainment, Wooyoung lives with his heart forward. It was his heart that dragged him away from Bighit to follow his best friend to an unheard of company, and his heart that trapped San under his spell and refused to let him go.
From their debut, their fans have been aware of the special connection that exists between San and Wooyoung, at times more than either of the two of them really understood. The moniker “Woosan” was formed fairly early on in their career, and has followed them through all of their variety show appearances and made for many YouTube video titles. And even now that their mutual pining and emotionally-charged dance around each other during their debut days is done, San still feels the exact same intensity for Wooyoung that he’s always felt.
Sometimes when they’re performing, San lets this intensity show a little too strongly. He’ll let Wooyoung pull him a little too close during Inception, or he’ll hold Wooyoung a little too close, for a little too long as they greet all of their fans, or he’ll get just a little too jealous to play off as a joke as Wooyoung shows off during their individual ment performances of Cyberpunk. San tries not to scroll through social media on those days, knowing that he’ll stumble upon one too many posts analyzing every shift of his eyes and every subtle movement of his body when he was in Wooyoung’s vicinity. These posts used to make him nervous, make him think that he and Wooyoung would be outed to their company and forced to leave. Now, their relationship is a bit of an open secret, and so long as they don’t do anything stupid like kiss on stage(which the desire for gets harder and harder to resist every performance) and occasionally play up their relationship for clickbait or fanservice, they're largely allowed to do what they want.
In short, San doesn’t mind sharing his passionate, fiery, on stage Wooyoung with their fans or with the world. On the contrary, he hopes that everyone has the chance to see Wooyoung perform, to love him for the things he is so proud of, for the things that took so much struggling to get to.
San doesn’t mind sharing this Wooyoung because there’s another Wooyoung he gets all to himself.
While there are many nights where San and Wooyoung end up tangled in hotel sheets after a concert, letting their pent up energy and adrenaline come to a crash and release, there are also nights that are much softer and quieter, where the energy slowly ebbs away.
It’s nights like these where, after they’ve washed off all of the sweat they’ve accumulated for their performances, they’ll climb into bed together, hair slowly seeping water into the pillowcase, and talk for hours. Wooyoung will usually start talking first, since his thoughts tend to move a little bit faster. He’ll talk about anything and everything- the performances he loved, the one’s he thought he could do better on, the way he got Atiny to react when he danced on the edge of the stage in front of them. San will take a moment to think over his words, lips pouting and brow furrowing in a way he isn’t even conscious of, before responding, reassuring Wooyoung that everyone thought his performances were perfect, complimenting him on the little things about his performance that only he knows to look out for.
He’ll run gentle hands through Wooyoung’s wet hair, scratching lightly at his scalp to relax him, letting both of them grow tired until he shuts off the lights and wraps Wooyoung tightly in his arms, holding him to his beating heart as they both give in to sleep.
~~~
Tonight, San can barely remember what city they’re in as they all stumble off the stage after the encore. There are celebratory hugs all around and a member who is probably Seonghwa pulls him close to kiss him lightly on the temple with a breathless, “Well done, San-ah.” His eyes are still blurry from the flashing lights of the stage and his ears are ringing dully with the sound of blasting background music and deafening cheers.
He spins around blindly for a second, seeking out Wooyoung with his eyes, before he feels a familiar pair of arms wrap around him and squeeze from behind. He spins in their hold and looks down at Wooyoung, bent over so his face is buried in San’s chest. Wooyoung always gets a little emotional after concerts, as he tends to be the one who takes the hit of adrenaline the hardest, constantly performing as hard as he can for his audience. San loves him for it, and he’s always there to hold him as that energy wears off.
He pets lightly at Wooyoung’s sweat-slick hair as they make their way numbly through the post-concert routine. San never fully remembers what happens after their concerts, feeling slightly shaky and not fully in control of himself. Hongjoong passes him a bottle of water and squeezes lightly at his shoulder, and words of praise from staff and members alike registers faintly in his peripheral awareness.
Eventually they’re shuffled into cars to go back to the hotel, Wooyoung leaning heavily on San’s shoulder, eyes slipping shut. When they get back to the hotel there are hasty goodnights and another round of hugs before the members split off to their hotel rooms.
San guides Wooyoung into the bathroom so they can shower, letting Wooyoung slump back against him as he washes his hair and gently massages his tired muscles. Wooyoung murmurs his thanks and leans back to plant a sleepy kiss against San’s shoulder.
As much as San loves the moments where Wooyoung’s love is passionate and unabashed, he loves these moments just as much, if not more, because they are the moments that belong to him completely. Only he knows what this Wooyoung is like, the Wooyoung now bundled up in one of San’s sweatshirts lying half across San’s chest in their bed, face buried in San’s shoulder.
Only San knows the feeling of Wooyoung’s wet hair brushing against his cheek, the faint smell of Wooyoung’s soap in his nose. Only San is able to lean down and press a kiss to the top of Wooyoung’s head, not for any other reason than he can and he wants to.
So San holds Wooyoung tight, and breathes him in, and silently vows to never let him go.