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“Okay,” Ray says, grabbing a shopping cart, “How do you want to do this?”
Alex hums in thought, scanning the mostly empty grocery store. “Let’s split up.”
Sunday morning grocery shopping has become something of a ritual for Ray and Alex. Ray appreciates having the extra help when it comes to shopping for six (twelve, if you count the Wilsons and Victoria and Willie and Flynn and Nick, who are always hanging around), and Alex likes having the control over what he eats. Between his allergies, OCD, and trauma from the hot dogs, it brings him a kind of peace to review everything on the ingredient list before it goes in the cart. Sometimes Alex chooses to stay close to Ray’s side, but on less busy days, he’s fine to roam by himself.
“Grab anything you want, okay, mijo?” Ray says. “Take your time.”
Alex nods and grabs a basket for himself, then pulls his headphones on and wanders off towards the snacks. Ray heads for the fresh produce first, hoping to snatch up all the best pieces before the rest of post-church crowds get to them. They had left church early to avoid that, but they only had a couple minutes head start.
He’s made it to the deli by the time the rest of the churchgoers trickle in, and to the bakery when he hears a bone-chillingly familiar voice call, “Raymond, is that you?”
Ray’s whole body goes tense as he drops the loaf of bread he was examining to the floor. He slowly turns, praying that he misheard, only to be met with an image straight out of his nightmares: his parents.
“It is you,” his mother gasps, rushing towards him with open arms.
Ray recoils, and his mother drops her arms with a scowl.
“What are you doing here?” Ray asks. It comes out sounding a lot more pathetic than he had hoped.
“That’s no way to talk to your parents, boy,” his father snaps.
Ray wants to argue that they stopped being his parents a long time ago, long before he even moved out, but there’s still a scared little kid in him that’s terrified to talk back to them, especially without Rose or Trevor beside him, so all that comes out is a whimpered, “I’m sorry.”
“We’re here visiting your Tío Bruno,” his mother answers his question. “He’s having a birthday party tonight, you should come. It’s been so long since we’ve seen you.”
And whose fault is that? Ray wants to ask, but he knows their answer will be him.
“Maria Hernandez will be there,” his mother continues. “Do you remember her? She just lost her husband recently, you should talk to her. She’s a nice woman.”
A nice, cisgender, heterosexual woman, Ray knows she means, because even though he’s nearly fifty years old they’re still trying to fix something in him that isn’t broken. Because even though he married a beautiful, lovely, kind, funny, talented woman who gave him two precious children, Rose still wasn’t woman enough for them.
Any response he could try to get out is cut off by his father eyeing his outfit skeptically. “What are you wearing?”
Ray looks down at his outfit: a nice purple blouse Trevor had bought him because it reminded them of Rose, and his best church slacks.
His mother clings to his father’s arm. “Is that a woman’s blouse?”
“No,” Ray manages, “it’s my blouse.”
As if the moment couldn’t get any worse, Alex chooses that moment to wander over, a box of baking mix in his hand.
“Hey,” he says, seemingly oblivious to Ray’s parents, “could you help me make cupcakes this week? It’s me and Willie’s anniversary on Friday and they’ve never had funfetti.”
“Of course, mijo,” Ray agrees, not able to tear his eyes away from his parents’ glares.
Alex drops the box into the cart, along with this other finds, and only then does he notice Ray’s parents.
“Oh,” he says sheepishly, “sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re not interrupting,” Ray assures him, at the same time his father demands, “Raymond, who is this?”
Ray squares his shoulders and steps between his parents and Alex. His kids are the one thing he refuses to let his parents make him feel bad about. “This is my son, Alex.”
His mother’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Your son?” she gasps. “You remarried?”
“Yes,” Ray says. “I adopted Alex and his brother with Trevor.” It’s a lie, but if the one small rebellion he can manage today is convincing them he married Trevor, he’ll take it.
His parents’ frowns deepen.
“Sorry,” Alex says, putting on his I am a polite young man smile that Ray had quickly learned to see right through. “We still haven’t been introduced. You are…?”
“Your grandparents, apparently,” Ray’s mother huffs.
“Oh,” Alex says, the smile shifting into his I am not going to give you the shit I know you deserve because I am a polite young man smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Molina.”
“Sanchez,” Ray’s father corrects him haughtily.
“You took Rose’s last name?” Alex asks Ray. “That’s awesome.”
Ray knows Alex knows that. Victoria's last name is Molina, after all. The little shit just wanted to remind Ray’s parents he took Rose’s name, and Ray loves him for it.
Ray’s father glances down at the rainbow bracelet on Alex’s wrist and frowns. “Well, Raymond, I see after all these years you’ve still made no effort to better yourself.”
“Excuse me?” Alex says before Ray has a chance to respond. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Ray’s father ignores him, addressing Ray instead. “Clearly you and your… friend… Trevor have corrupted this young man into your sinful lifestyle.”
Alex scoffs, stepping in front of Ray. “The only sin I see here is failing to love your child as they are.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to, young man?” Ray’s mother demands.
“I think I’m talking to a pair of lousy parents,” Alex says, “who have no right to talk about me or my dad this way.”
“Alex,” Ray tries, but Alex cuts him off with a shake of his head.
“No, Dad, they deserve to hear this.” Alex turns to Ray’s parents. “My dad is the best person I know. He took in me and my brother and our friend without a second thought because he’s the most kind, generous, selfless person I’ve ever met. He’s the first adult who ever loved me unconditionally, and seeing the shit example you two set for him, I admire him even more for it. If all that isn’t enough for you to overlook something as trivial as his sexuality, then there really is no hope for you.”
Ray’s parents splutter, speechless, and Ray feels a surge of pride for his son.
“Come on, Dad,” Alex says, grabbing Ray’s hand. “Let’s get our groceries somewhere with a more respectable clientele.”
Ray lets Alex pull him out of the grocery store, leaving their groceries behind. Ray’s too stunned to say anything, still replaying the shocked and outraged looks on his parents’ faces in his mind.
“Oh my god,” Alex says, beginning to pace as soon as they step through the doors. “I can’t believe I did that. I am so sorry if I overstepped, I just couldn’t stand to hear them talk to you that way and I figured you may not be able to stand up to them because I couldn’t stand up to mine and I know you would have done it for me but I should have asked first and—”
Ray cuts him off by pulling him into the tightest hug he can manage. “Thank you, Alex,” he murmurs into Alex’s hair. “I am so proud of you.”
“You’re sure I didn’t overstep?” Alex asks.
“No,” Ray assures him. “I’m sorry you had to do that in the first place; I should have been able to stand up for myself.”
“Don’t do that to yourself,” Alex says. “I wouldn’t have known what to do if my parents suddenly showed up either.”
“I’m an adult,” Ray argues. “I should be able to handle it.”
“Okay, if you want to play that game, we’re technically almost the same age,” Alex says. Ray rolls his eyes, but Alex continues, “Seriously. Look, I spent my entire life trying to be the perfect kid for my parents, and even that wasn’t enough for them to love me the way I am. And I think that even if I ran into them now, when they literally couldn’t do anything to me, I’d still be trying to be that perfect kid.”
Ray stares at Alex for a moment, stunned speechless. He had known that he and Alex had a similar upbringing, had seen so much of himself in the boy, but he hadn’t really realized until now how very similar they were.
“Yeah,” Ray says eventually. “That’s… that’s exactly it.”
Alex nods, satisfied. “Fuck that.”
Instead of scolding him for his language like he normally would, Ray laughs. “Yeah. Fuck that.”
Alex smirks, and Ray wraps an arm around his shoulders.
“You know you don’t have to be perfect for me, right?” Ray asks. “I love every part of you, even the imperfect parts.”
Alex’s smile softens into something genuine. “I know. I meant what I said. You’re the first adult who ever let me be myself. And you know you don’t have to be perfect either, right.”
“I know.” Ray places a kiss on Alex’s head. “Te amo mucho, mijo. Shall we get out of here?”
Alex pulls back, suddenly sheepish. “Actually, I have to run back in. The only other place near here I trust is Trader Joe’s and they don’t have funfetti.”
“Alright,” Ray laughs. “Go get your cupcakes. And if you see my parents, feel free to give them whatever you think they deserve.”
Alex heads towards the door with a devious grin. “With pleasure.”