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Fatherhood was a strange thing, Naruto was quickly realizing as he stared aghast at his three-year-old son. God was most definitely punishing him for his childhood sins in the form of Boruto, who seemed determined to prove that mischievousness was hereditary.
"What did you just say?" he asked, making sure to keep his voice low because he couldn't believe what his son had just said.
"Dif!" Boruto happily responded, his cheerful voice was loud and carried over to where the other parents stood waiting to pick up their children.
Naruto heard a suspicious cough, but he pretended he didn't hear it. He felt the tips of his ears start to burn.
"Yeah, okay, never mind. Forget I asked."
But Boruto was frowning at him. "Tou-chan, dif?"
"No!" Naruto shook his head, cheeks flushed. "Shh! Don't say that so loud!"
But Boruto was insistent, eager to convey to his father the new knowledge he'd learned yesterday. To make sure his father really understood what he was trying to say, Boruto made sure to add: "Naruto-kun, dif!"
He smiled brightly at his father because that's what Kaa-chan always called Tou-chan. Boruto was proud he knew his father's name.
But Boruto didn't get the reaction he expected from his parent.
In fact, Naruto was looking wildly at Shino while ignoring the smothered laughter coming from where the other parents were standing. A quick glance at them showed that despite some of their smiles, they were just as studiously pretending they hadn't heard what Boruto was saying.
Moments like these Naruto wished he'd learned his father's Flying Thunder God technique so that he could disappear quickly. He was hot underneath his uniform and he had to make sure that Shino understood this was not his fault. He was just here to pick up his son at the Konoha Daycare.
To make matters worse, for some reason, Shino's aura, normally so weak and barely felt, was suddenly clearly palpable. Shino was coolly burning as he faced father and son, his stance rigid, arms folded tensely. He was bristling with annoyance and disapproval.
"Yo, Shino. Chill, man."
Nothing.
"Fine! Come with me for a sec."
Naruto picked up Boruto and ushered Shino away from everyone so that he could explain this very simple misunderstanding.
Thankfully, Shino complied and allowed himself to be escorted away from the rest of his students and their parents.
Naruto noted that his wife's former teammate had forgone his usual mission clothes in favor of this daycare's standard uniform: yellow polo shirt, dark pants, and the peach-colored apron decorated with a large, cute, panda face. But all that was still underneath the normal khaki coat Shino wore.
As part of his training for the teacher position at the Ninja Academy, Shino was required to spend time at the local daycare dealing with younger children. At first, both Naruto and Hinata had been glad to see him whenever they dropped off Boruto at the school on the days they both had missions.
However, Naruto was now wishing he didn't know anybody at the school, embarrassed that he was having this conversation with Shino. He glanced at Boruto accusingly. Where the hell did he learn that word? But his son only smiled at him cheerfully and clutched more tightly at Naruto's black jacket.
"Tou-chan, big dif!"
Naruto blushed some more and looked at Shino with panic and desperation. "Erm, I don't think Boruto's saying what you think he's saying."
Shino raised a brow. "Oh?"
"Dif, dif, dif!" Boruto only chirped insistently. "Tou-chan, big diiiiiiiif!"
"He's been saying that for the past hour when he realized you were coming to pick him up soon, Naruto."
"What?!"
"Yes. It was embarrassing for me and for everyone," Shino responded.
"Boruto!" Naruto groaned, but he pleaded with his friend. "Shino, you gotta believe me! You know I would never say it! I don't go around calling myself a dilf! I don't know where he picked up the word!"
Shino's cheeks were suddenly pink. "What do you mean you don't know? Boruto specifically called you Naruto-kun…"
Naruto's face was a mixture of shock, confusion, disbelief—and secret joy.
"You think Hinata did?!"
He should be mad, but Naruto couldn't help the satisfaction that flowed into his voice, which Shino clearly heard. It ticked him off, because a couple of bugs escaped from his coat and buzzed angrily over his head before they aimed straight for Naruto's neck and stung him painfully.
"Ouch!"
Shino didn't respond, but he called back the bugs. He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at Boruto. He was not sorry for inflicting pain on his friend, but he was also supposed to set an example for the younger kids. And he was embarrassed for losing his cool enough to resort to petty revenge.
He lowered his voice, and his flush deepened. "Naruto, this is a one-time thing. I don't ever want to hear Boruto say it again. And please keep this between you and Hinata."
"Shi—" Naruto was about to protest but he stopped because Shino was done talking to him and was not interested in hearing any more excuses.
He was addressing Boruto instead.
"Boruto, you know what?"
"Shino-sensei!" He was still cradled in Naruto's arms, but he was looking at his teacher with rapt attention.
"How about we keep this word a secret?"
"Is bad?" Boruto's eyes suddenly filled with tears, his lips quivered, but he managed to ask his favorite teacher, "Tou-chan not dif?"
Shino was suddenly at a loss for words because it was a tricky question to answer and responding with his honest opinion would only embarrass everyone.
Luckily, though, he was spared a reply because Boruto, suddenly distracted by something he saw at the window, suddenly yelled, "Kaa-chan!"
Great timing, Hinata! Naruto thought as he bid a hasty good-bye to Shino and ran out of the school.
"It wasn't me!"
Naruto waited until Boruto was asleep to confront Hinata in their bedroom.
She was staring at him now, her face aflame, her hands out to ward off his accusation.
"Hinata! He said dilf and then called me Naruto-kun—the way you always do."
If anything, her face turned a shade darker. "I don't go around calling my own husband a d-d-dilf!"
He blushed, too, but he kept his face serious even though he very badly wanted to smile. Still, he had to figure out the truth.
"Ah! I can't even say the word without stuttering and losing my nerve!"
"Then who would say it? It just seems so weird because we had this conversation before—you know, when you didn't know what it really meant." He was smiling now. "Maybe it slipped out when you were with Boruto?"
Horror was on her face. Hinata looked at him like he had two heads. "No! That word wouldn't just 'slip out' of me, Naruto." She shook her head. "I will deny it until I die. It wasn't me. I can't say it—even now."
He peered at her intently. "Are you sure you didn't even accidentally call me a dilf in front of Boruto?"
She faced him resolutely, making sure that he saw the truth on her very red face. "Naruto, I would never use that word in front of Boruto. Please believe me."
There was no way he could mistake the sincerity in her tone. She always used that tone with him whenever he did something wrong.
"You really sure?" He couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice.
She folded her arms and tilted her head. Her eyes were drawn into slight frown as suspicion filled her. "You know what I think, Naruto? I think you want it to be me. You like the idea of me calling you that word."
"What?! No!" He shook his head. "That's not it at all."
Hinata suspected that her conjecture was true, but instead of pressing the point, however, she decided that dropping the subject was the best course of action. She smiled at him. "Anyway, this is a silly thing to argue about!" She reached a hand and placed it on his arm. "I swear it wasn't me, but I'll tell Boruto not to use the word any more and I'll figure out where he learned it. Is that okay with you?"
He nodded reluctantly in response. "Sure."
She could tell he wanted to argue some more but she turned away from him to face the bed and started to lift up the covers. Her only thought was to placate him and end this argument by looking at the facts. Her tone musing, she said, "If you really think about it logically, it couldn't have been me. I don't need to call you a dilf. Other women use the term because they can't have you. I mean, you're mine, right? So that means I can have you anytime I want."
Too late, she only felt him at her back a mere second after she finished speaking—and realized what she'd just blurted out. She'd forgotten about his speed.
His hands were already busily spanning her waist, his mouth close to her ear. "Have me anytime, hmm?"
"Like now? Right?" A kiss pressed right above her ear, followed by the slide of his hands to her breasts, cupping them gently and then a caress she felt all the way to her toes. "Right, Hinata?"
Hinata swallowed and closed her eyes, embarrassed. Trust Naruto to pick up on the things she wanted him to overlook. "You're not going to let me off and forget what I just said, will you?"
"Nope!"
She laughed to herself. "I didn't think so."
He slowly turned her to face him. Naruto was grinning with expectation. "So that's a yes? Right now?"
Hinata reached out her arms and brought his face down for a kiss. "A very sure yes."
That night Boruto had a dream, almost as if he was reliving yesterday's events in vivid detail.
His parents were away, on their respective missions, doing superhero stuff, but luckily Boruto was on a playdate with Inojin so he didn't miss his mother and father that much. Besides, Inojin had new toys he was willing to share with him.
Halfway through the day, though, Auntie Ino suddenly had to leave the house because she had to deal with something at the hospital where she worked. She left them with Inojin's dad, who observed them closely while they built towers out of the blocks scattered on the floor.
"Heeeeeeeey, boys," Uncle Sai said as he slowly sauntered over to where they were playing on the carpet, his eyes crinkling merrily, which Boruto always loved to see. Uncle Sai was a riot and always made him laugh.
Before he hunkered down to sit though, Uncle Sai looked around. For what, Boruto didn't know, but he noticed this was something Inojin's father always did whenever the three of them were left alone in Auntie Ino's house. Boruto guessed that Uncle Sai missed his wife because he was always on the lookout for her.
"How's your dad, Boruto?" he asked. "What's he up to these days?"
"Saving the world," Boruto answered automatically, something he did out of habit because this was what Tou-chan always told him whenever he got home from work.
Uncle Sai laughed. "Yeah, you should be proud. Your dad's a hero, Boruto."
"Yeah!" He agreed, wholeheartedly. Tou-chan was awesome, and cool, and nice, and tall, and big, and bright, and strong, and funny. He was definitely his hero.
"You know what another word for hero is?" Uncle Sai asked.
Boruto's eyes grew wide and round with anticipation. Yay! A new word! He would make sure to use it with Tou-chan next time.
"Dilf."