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Darkness had settled over the mountain and the ruins of Dale. A clear night with stars that looked like a myriad of tiny diamonds strewn on black silk.
It was eerily quiet down there. The lights in Dale were dancing through the city’s streets like lost souls, and below, Fili could more guess than see the elfish army that would attack with sunrise. Even if the Iron Hills rallied every warrior from old age to boy it would not be enough. There would be bloodshed. There would be death.
There would be nothing left.
“Fili? What are you doing up here?”
Fili’s shoulders tensed. That now, of all nights, on the eve of the battle that would claim them all, now when he had most need of his brother, the wedge that had appeared between them in the Mirkwood dungeons had driven them further apart than ever.
“Looking,” he replied, as not replying and pretending Kili wasn’t there was not an option.
“What are you looking at?” Kili positioned himself beside him.
“Our death,” Fili replied in a low voice.
“Do you think we will die?” Kili crossed his arms onto the stone railing. “Are you so sure of that?”
“We are thirteen dwarves in this mountain,” Fili said, not taking his eyes of the quiet darkness dotted with campfires, almost like a distorted mirror image of the starry infinity above. “And even if the Iron Hills arrive with the greatest army they can muster we will still be outnumbered one to twenty.”
“Do you really think they will attack?” Kili leaned forward and looked down at the campfires.
“They are our enemies. They have declared war on us as our King has declared war on them.”
Kili frowned and then looked up at his brother. “But Fili...” He shrugged. “You have seen Thorin, you heard him. He is mad, stark raving mad. Why does there have to be a war at all? Why can’t you...”
Fili spun around, no longer concealing his anger. “Why I don’t take the crown by force?” His chest was heaving, anger trying to take control. But when Kili refused to understand, he let it run free.
Fili’s voice rose. “Why? Honestly? Do you honestly need an answer to that question?”
“Fili, what...”
“Because I, as opposed to you, still know what honour and loyalty is!”
Kili’s face went white, clearly visible even in the darkness. “What?”
“You heard me.”
Fili crossed his arms. How could he not understand? But there he was, his Kili, his baby brother, still the petulant child, or rather, again. He had tolerated so much, had given Kili so much patience, but now he felt he no longer knew this dwarf standing beside him, could no longer recognise his beloved brother who had left Ered Luin with him weeks ago.
“Fili?” Kili swallowed hard as he turned around. “What are you...”
“Honour. Loyalty.” Fili’s jaw was set tight, his lips a thin line. “You have forgotten all about honour, duty, loyalty and our history in the dungeons of Mirkwood!”
Kili couldn’t suppress an incredulous, mirthless chuckle. “What? Fili have you lost your mind? Tauriel...”
“That elf has gone to your head, brother, and has twisted your very soul!”
Now it was Kili’s turn to get angry. “What? Are you really not aware how ridiculous that is? Tauriel is my...”
“The elves are our enemy!” Fili spread out his arms. “They imprisoned us! Your precious elf was the captain of those who imprisoned us, took away our weapons and clothing and locked us away!”
“Fili...”
Fili pushed the hand away that Kili had tried to put onto his shoulder. “And then what did you do? While we were locked away in the cells with no blankets and hardly any food you battered your eyelids at her and talked about starlight! Mooning like a...”
“I wasn’t mooning, you...”
“Talking about starlight, about a fire moon...” Fili’s anger had broken the dams. “As if you were naught but an elf yourself! Talking to her about stars and starlight instead of maybe using the good will she bore you to ask for a blanket for Ori who was freezing to death, or a bandage for Dori’s arm! Where was your honour, where was your loyalty in Mirkwood, Kili?”
Kili was dumbstruck and stared at his brother, his mouth slightly agape. “I... I opened the gate...” he said after a moment. “I opened the damned gate and got shot in the leg for it! Was that nothing?”
“I have not forgotten that,” Fili replied, voice still sharp. “And I thought you had come to your senses. But I was mistaken. Because as soon as she showed up again, you...”
“What?” Kili could barely keep his face under control. “She saved my life in Laketown! Or would you rather she hadn’t?”
Fili crossed his arms. “You are my brother, even if I can hardly recognize you anymore. Of course I was grateful to her for saving your life, even if I had to listen to more elfish mooning about starlight and love. Love! Kili, she’s our enemy! These people they have abandoned our people’s plea for help twice! They left Thorin and mother and everyone else to the dragon! They locked us away and refused their help again! And you...” He ran both hands through his hair. “You waste our time at the shores by giving her the talisman mother gave you... Kili, mother has given this stone to you as a token! She made it with her own hands, and you give it to an elf? And even if she wasn’t an elf you have barely known her for a day and already you talk about feeling alive in her presence and call her your love! In Khuzdul!”
“Fili, what I...”
“In Khuzdul!” Fili dropped his arms again and was almost shouting. “The hallowed tongue of our forefathers that no outsider is ever to learn! And you spout it at one of our oldest enemies without a second’s thought! Kili, how could you?”
Kili froze. He was visibly groping for words, but could find none.
“And all the while we were trying to get to the mountain!” Fili took a deep breath, his anger suddenly spent, and only deep disappointment remained. “The dragon had left the mountain, had turned Laketown into a pile of burning debris and while we were desperately trying to reach the mountain you were again batting your eyes at her.” He shook his head. “They could all have been dead, Kili. Dead, or mortally wounded. Thorin and all the others might have been dead and you wasted our time talking to an elf in Khuzdul.”
“Brother...” Kili’s voice was hoarse.
“Brother?” Fili shook his head. “Now you remember? I defied uncle Thorin, our leader, my King, to remain at your side, and all you did was push me aside because you only had eyes and ears for the elf. You forgot about me and everyone else in the Company because of her. Where were your honour and your loyalty at the shores of Laketown, Kili?”
The brothers stood silently staring at each other, but Fili was the first to turn away. He wordlessly turned around and headed for the stairs, leaving his brother alone on the ramparts.
After what seemed like an eternity, Kili was finally able to unfreeze and wiped a hand down his face. “I’ll make it up somehow, brother,” he whispered tonelessly.
The stars above were cold and distant