Work Text:
Sometimes, there were just things in the world that made one feel very little.
Like standing in front of a giant tank at the aquarium, watching a fish or a shark or whale that would normally be so far away swim by like it was a normal occurrence. Knowing that in the ocean, you would never be even more than a blip on the radar to some of these creatures, and a crunchy snack to others.
Or laying on your back on the roof of a building in a city with more people than you could possibly comprehend or know. Looking up at the sky, with stars so huge and old that they burned before you were born and would burn after you died, but even so, looked nothing more than a small pinprick in the inky blackness of the world above.
Or, worst of all, standing in the shadow of someone you cared for very deeply, knowing they were as far away as one of those fish or a star in another galaxy, despite being right by your side.
“Good job today,” Isagi said with a smile, holding out a hand to pull Kurona off the ground. Kurona nodded his agreement, accepting Isagi’s hand and allowing himself to enjoy the way it felt against his palm as the other boy helped him up. “We should see if we can do that move again tomorrow. Want to train together again after team practice?”
Kurona nodded again, allowing a terse lipped smile onto his face while he was outshone yet again by the brightness of Isagi’s smile.
Kurona wasn’t sure when the feelings he had started to harbor for Isagi developed. He admired him in a strictly professional way since he met him, knowing that Isagi had skills and abilities he did not, but also seeing the unique and beneficial way they could work together. His own abilities merged with Isagi’s seamlessly, forming a strong bond as a teammate and friend. He enjoyed spending time with Isagi during practice, training with him. Eating dinner, and chatting about football and technique and strategy while relaxing in the baths at the end of a long day. Sharing their free time, when they took just a brief moment to talk about anything else but football before passing out, beds side by side in their four man suite.
Somewhere along the line, their friendship derailed, but not in a way Isagi noticed, and Kurona doubted he ever would. Kurona did his best to hide his feelings, as he knew…this was not the time nor the place to be developing a relationship beyond a working one. He and Isagi were teammates and nothing more, and he tried so hard to remember that when his breath caught in his throat and he had to turn his head away after catching himself staring.
When Isagi laughed, or when he smiled…everything else seemed to fall away for a second as Kurona’s brain short circuited, and he waited for himself to reboot. When Isagi began talking, animated and gesturing, about something he was passionate about, a crooked grin on his lips as his excitement grew, Kurona found it hard to focus on the words coming out of Isagi’s mouth, and could only nod along while his friend spoke. Or when Isagi sat in bed in the morning, stretching his arms over his head and yawning, and Kurona could crack one eye open, pretending he was looking to see the time and not the smooth skin peeking out from the edge of Isagi’s shirt as it rode up over his stomach.
Isagi would smile at him, and sleepily say good morning as Kurona groaned, and Isagi would think it was simply because Kurona was still tired and didn’t want to wake up. Not because Kurona was bemoaning the fact that this was as much of Isagi that he would ever get to see, because their friendship wasn’t like that, and he had no idea if Isagi would ever want anything more.
Trailing behind him by a step, Kurona watched Isagi’s shoulders as they walked to get dinner before cleaning up and going to bed. He sighed quietly, exhaling through his teeth as he tore his eyes away, knowing that he wasn’t being polite. But it was so difficult when the stars you were staring at were in a completely different galaxy, and you had no idea of how to reach them.
Kurona came to a stop just outside of the dining hall when he ran into Isagi’s shoulder, bouncing off of him as his cheeks reddened in embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he had lost himself in his thoughts again, and this time, Isagi would be forced to take notice.
“Earth to Kurona, you in there?” Isagi waved a hand in front of his face, trying to bring him back down from his distracted train of thought.
“Sorry, just tired,” Kurona mumbled, biting down on the tip of his tongue with his sharp teeth, hoping to prevent this from happening again during dinner. Luckily, at dinner he would be able to distract himself a bit more by conversation with others, and the simple act of stuffing his face.
Isagi nodded in understanding, gesturing towards the dining hall doors as an invitation to join him, even though they were already together. Kurona held out his own hand, nonverbally stating “after you”. Isagi led the way, going to get his meal with Kurona trailing a few steps behind.
Taking a deep breath to clear his mind, Kurona was grateful that his secrets had been obscured by the mental distance between the two of them. For now, he was content to just wander about in Isagi’s orbit, close, but never close enough to the star currently at the center of his universe.