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Hannibal had escaped. He had tried to kill Alana who thankfully escaped only slightly hurt. Bedelia hadn’t been so lucky. Will wanted to feel sorry for her, but the truth was that he didn’t. She knew it was coming and Will was convinced Hannibal had killed her relatively quickly.
It took Will only four days to find him this time. It was easy. Hannibal wanted to be found. Will found him by the river where he used to go fish when they had met years ago. When he arrived and saw Hannibal it was sunset. Hannibal was standing back to him, looking at the sun going to sleep over the river. The snow had melted, but it was still cold so he was wearing a jacket. It was kept open in the front for aesthetic reason, Will had no doubts.
Hannibal looked behind him when he heard Will steps. Will wasn’t trying to be discreet. Hannibal gaze stayed on him just long enough for Will to see the joy and love in his eyes. He then turned back to the river and said:
“Hello Will.”
Will looked at Hannibal and thought back about what he had realized in Bedelia’s office ten days ago. He had thought about it a lot and the main thing that kept coming into his head was that he had been a blind and oblivious idiot. How could he have not realized Hannibal’s feelings for him after all he did? After he asked him to runaway with him. After he acted like a heartbroken lover over Will’s betrayal. After leaving him a broken heart. After looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen when he had seen him again in Florence. After how he had surrendered himself when Will had rejected him.... So many things should have made it obvious.
Granted Hannibal had done other things that could be considered like strong mixed signals, but they had made sense for Hannibal. It was only more proof of his love in his eyes.
“Hello Hannibal.” Will finally replied as he walked to Hannibal’s side to look at the water with him.
“I knew you would find me eventually.”
“Why here?”
“I was curious to see what your mind palace looked like. It is at first glance very common, but if you really look you can see how beautiful and complex it truly is. Just like you.”
Will didn’t know what to say. Hannibal had really never hidden his love for him.
“I guess it’s fair. I saw the basis for yours, you get to see mine.”
Hannibal smiled and looked at him. Will glanced back, but he didn’t move his head.
“You almost killed Alana.”
“I promised her I would do it a long time ago and I always keep my promises. She knows that.”
He didn’t look guilty at all and the worse was that Will understood. He hated that he did, but he did.
“If I asked you to not kill her would you do it for me?” Will asked turning his head toward Hannibal for the first time.
Hannibal looked pensive for a couple of seconds before he said:
“Maybe.”
Will sighed.
“I notice you didn’t mention Bedelia.”
“No. I won’t pretend I cared about her like I do Alana. She knew what she was getting into with you.”
Hannibal nodded, pleased.
“I saw her in therapy two times before you escaped.”
Hannibal face turned into a slight frown most people wouldn’t have noticed. Will did.
“Was she a good therapist?”
“I don’t know if good is the right word, but it was nice to have a therapist who didn’t lie to me.”
“I stopped lying to you a long time ago Will.”
“Yes, and you also stopped being my therapist.”
“You could have still come to me if you needed to talk. You can always come to me.”
Will smirked. That would have been stupid and impossible for many reasons, but he chose to admit only one.
“No, because I wanted to talk about you. You lack objectivity on the subject. I also think you would be grateful to her if you knew what she did.”
“What did she do?”
Will felt his heart beat a little faster. He really was going to say this to Hannibal.
“She helped me realize something important I had been too blind to see.”
Hannibal looked at him, curiosity painting his traits. Will looked him in the eyes for a moment before looking back at the water.
“You are in love with me.”
Hannibal didn’t say anything. He didn’t even make a sound. Will turned toward him again, curious as to what his reaction would be. Hannibal looked calm and unashamed. He nodded slightly as if to confirm it and asked in his best therapist voice:
“And how did that realisation make you feel?”
“Like an idiot for not having realized it sooner.”
Hannibal gave Will a little amused smile. He seemed to think it had been very obvious too.
“The important thing is that you realized it.” Then becoming serious again he added “I never tried to hide the depth of my love for you Will.”
“I know.”
Will turned his entire body toward Hannibal and really looked at him for the first time since arriving. Hannibal turned toward him too, his eyes softer than ever. It was almost exactly the way he had looked at Will before stabbing him in his kitchen. Will raised one of his hands to Hannibal face and caressed his cheek very softly. He felt like crying.
“I hate myself for it, but I can’t deny it. I love you... I’m... in love with you.”
That was the second hardest thing Will had ever said in his life and the first one was soon to come. Hannibal looked both more vulnerable and happy than Will had ever seen him. Will heart broke at the idea that he was about to destroy that, but he had to do it.
Realizing he was in love with Hannibal Lecter had not been easy for Will, but he could not lie to himself anymore. The hardest part however had been deciding what to do with that knowledge. He had made his decision a day after Hannibal escape and since then he had been fighting with himself to make sure he would keep to it.
Will moved his hand to Hannibal jaw and caressed Hannibal’s lips with his thumb before going back to hold his jaw softly. His other hand he used to take his knife out and stab Hannibal in the stomach. As he felt his blade go through Hannibal body he said, almost choking on the words:
“But I can’t be with you. I’m sorry.”
Hannibal looked more betrayed by the words than the actual stabbing. After realizing what Will had just done and no doubt feeling it Will felt Hannibal body weaken as he grabbed one of Will shoulder to hold on to.
Hannibal did his best to smile, but Will could see the pain in his eyes. Both mental and physical.
“Are you finally killing me Will?” he asked.
“No, I called the police already and told them to bring an ambulance.”
Hannibal looked at Will with such sadness that Will felt tears coming to his eyes. He felt more like a monster right now than ever before and he had done some pretty horrible things.
“I think I would have preferred death this time.” Hannibal whispered, trying to stay on his legs with difficulty.
Will looked at Hannibal with anger.
“Don’t be stupid.”
He could not say “You are not allowed to die. I love you.” but he could say that and it was enough. Hannibal understood. Feeling Hannibal lay on him more and more Will said “Come here” and helped him to get to the ground softly. Will sat on the ground and placed Hannibal head on his thigh, forcing him to lie down. Hannibal didn’t resist. Will didn’t take the knife out. He didn’t want to risk Hannibal bleeding out on him. He still brought one of his hands to Hannibal stomach to hold on to the wound. Hannibal hand which was already there turned away from his bleeding stomach and held onto Will’s hand instead. Will looked Hannibal in the eyes and squeezed back.
“I really am sorry, but I couldn’t. You knew I couldn’t.”
“Did I?”
Will felt his eyes very wet at this point, but he was determined not to cry.
“Yes.”
“And why is that?”
“You know why.” Will replied, not wanting to get into this then.
“I am not sorry for what I did.” Hannibal said, reminding Will of why he couldn’t be with him.
“I don’t feel bad for what you did either when I’m with you. I should, but it brought you to me and I can’t feel guilty for it when you’re there.”
“I am glad you at least feel that way when we are together.”
Will gave a little smile and caressed Hannibal’s hairs.
“I feel a lot of things when we’re together.”
“As do I, love.”
Will looked at Hannibal lips and thought about how it was his last chance to ever know what they tasted like.
“Bedelia asked me if I ached for you.”
Hannibal moved a little to be able to look at Will more easily, groaning in pain at the same time.
“And what did you answer her?” he inquired in a rough voice.
“I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know the answer yet.”
“Do you know it now?”
Hannibal almost looked hopeful.
“Yes. I do.” Will said in what was almost a murmur.
He leaned down toward Hannibal holding his head with one hand, holding his hand with the other and kissed him. Hannibal lips were both soft and hard on his. It was obvious that Hannibal was trying to take control of the kiss despite his position and the knife in his stomach. He placed his hand in Will’s curls, holding him in place and transformed Will soft kiss into something more intense, kissing him with something close to desperation. Will answered Hannibal intensity with his own only too happy to have the opportunity to experience it.
For a moment there was nothing else in the world that mattered. Hannibal murders, the fact that Will had just stabbed him, his impending return to jail. None of that mattered, but the lips of Hannibal on his.
The sound of the cops coming from afar brought Will back to reality and he softly ended the kiss, feeling his heart break at the same time. He had just given the last piece of himself he could give to Hannibal and from then on he would have to live with a hole in his chest. Will swallowed, breathing in their closeness one last time before withdrawing a little. Hannibal was almost lying on his knee now, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Thank you for this gift Will. I will cherish it for the rest of my days.”
A tear finally escaped from Will’s eyes and Hannibal caught it with his thumb. Will was tempted to say sorry again, but he didn’t. It would have been useless. He only nodded in acknowledgement and bit his lips to try to get a hold of himself.
When the cops arrived Will was sitting straight again and had one hand pressing on Hannibal wound where Hannibal had put his hand on his for no other apparent reason than because he could. Will also had one hand in Hannibal hairs and if the cops and paramedic noticed anything nobody said a word. Including Jack when he saw Will cry silently for the first time since meeting him.