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A polite knock on the door resounds before Shi Mei’s voice calls out mildly, “A-Ning, are you still there?”
Chu Wanning reluctantly removes her hands covering her face to reply, “...Yes…you can go first, shijie…”
A pause, before Shi Mei answers back, “...Do you need any help? Are you having trouble—”
“No! No,” Chu Wanning interrupts, her face burning even further in shame. Just how incompetent does her shijie see her that she thinks Chu Wanning can’t even put on a simple swimsuit?
Granted, Chu Wanning did take a good few nerve-wracking minutes before figuring out which strap or lace went where…but she figured it out fine!
She couldn’t very well stay in the changing rooms for the entire vacation…no matter how much she wanted to. But couldn’t she at least get a few minutes of peace to gather herself before embarrassing herself in public?!
And having to go out beside such a beautiful person while looking like—like this. It felt like a nasty, targeted joke played by the gods on her expense.
On one hand, it would definitely distract people enough that they might not even perceive her…
Still…thinking about practically being air next to her shijie in their shizun’s eyes when they go to greet her left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Chu Wanning had put off buying anything at the last second, thinking she could get away with wearing regular clothes at the beach, until her shizun mentioned proper swimwear was required by the beach’s regulations.
She had to scramble at the last minute and bought whatever least embarrassing one she could get her hands on, but it was still very different from what she was used to wearing.
She already knew she wasn’t worth anything looking at…it would already be a blessing if seeing her in such…such scant clothing wouldn’t disgust her shizun at the sight of her—
“A-Ning?” Shi Mei’s worried voice filters through. She must have been calling for Chu Wanning this whole time.
Chu Wanning takes a deep breath, willing away the redness that was no doubt unflatteringly spread on her cheeks.
After opening the door, Chu Wanning resolutely does not look her shijie in the eyes, afraid of seeing even a hint of ridicule or pity, even though she knows Shi Mei was too nice for that.
Chu Wanning nods in greeting, before walking past Shi Mei, who takes it in stride and walks beside her and asks a question, “A-Ning, did you put on any sunblock yet?”
That causes Chu Wanning to look up at her shijie in confusion, “Sunblock?”
“Ah,” Shi Mei responds, tone vague, “Don’t worry, you can have some of mine, I’ll help you put it on if you want.”
Chu Wanning murmurs a thank you, and tugs slightly at the sunhat her shijie let her borrow for the trip. What a mess. She had to keep relying on other people for simple things everyone already knows to do or bring.
Glancing at the side, she sees that Shi Mei was wearing a light dress over her swimwear.
Huh?
Nobody told her they could wear a dress—but then again she never asked.
“Shijie…” Chu Wanning starts, tone sounding a little helpless, “We can wear dresses at the beach? I thought shizun said only swimsuits were allowed?”
Shi Mei gives her a funny sort of look, “...Shizun did? Ah. Well…”
“A-Ning!!!” Someone crashes right into Chu Wanning, engulfing her in their arms, causing her to instinctively try to elbow the person, but they just squeeze her tighter, “And Shi Mei, hi!”
Chu Wanning whips her head back slightly, “Shizun? Stop it, we’re in public—”
“Aww, fine, I was just excited to see you again,” her shizun releases her, and though Chu Wanning was the one who told her to, she can’t help but miss her warmth already, “It’s been so long!”
“It’s only been a few days,” Chu Wanning responds dryly, but she can’t help the warmth she feels at her shizun’s words, no matter how exaggerated.
Mo Ran spins her around to face her, and instantly Chu Wanning can feel her face redden.
First, over how her shizun looked—
It seemed like she already went for a swim, the tan of her skin seeming like it was glistening thanks to the water dripping off of her. Her swimsuit did absolutely nothing to hide her already obviously…generous chest. Which has Chu Wanning resolutely staring at her shizun’s face, fearing that she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else if her eyes strayed down.
Second was the fact that she remembered what in the world she was wearing, and that she could have worn something else over it all along.
Chu Wanning expects her shizun’s attention to stray from her the moment her shijie turned around as well, and planned to hightail out when her shizun was distracted, maybe there was a store nearby that sold some wrap or shawl like what she saw on others earlier?
An arm is placed around her shoulders, pulling her close. Chu Wanning looks up and sees an expression on her shizun’s face that made her feel like cornered prey. Shamefully, a wave of arousal washes over her at the sight, and she feels herself flush further.
Ridiculous. Shameless. What was she thinking? Her shizun was just being her usual self…well whatever was usual after Chu Wanning had come out of seclusion. It was nice, though she didn’t want to let herself get comfortable and used to it, knowing her shizun’s attention on her wouldn’t last forever once the novelty of Chu Wanning’s survival wore off.
Still, she intended to savor her shizun’s care for her as long as it would last.
Chu Wanning lets herself be dragged along. Her shizun guides her to a chair under a giant umbrella and sits her down.
A long, sheer white fabric is pulled over her, before her shizun cups her cheek and stares at her without saying anything for a few moments.
“What?” Chu Wanning can’t help but snap and bat the hand away, growing more insecure by the second, “You’re the one who told me swimwear was mandatory—”
“Ah,” Mo Ran replies, voice sounding hoarse, “Right. I did that.”
Chu Wanning thinks she vaguely hears her shizun mutter something like, “Fuck. I did this to myself, huh.”
Chu Wanning pulls the clothes her shizun put on her so it covers her front completely, feeling her eyes sting despite herself. Surely her shizun didn’t intend to embarrass her, right? They were getting along so well recently, she thought…and her shizun would never do something like that, even before—
A hand is placed under her chin, tilting her head back up, “What’s wrong A-Ning, your eyes are a bit red, did you get sand in your eyes? Wanna borrow my sunglasses?”
Chu Wanning feels her face contort in anger at the words. Did her shizun really intend to cover her from head to toe? If she didn’t want to see Chu Wanning’s disgusting body she shouldn’t have played this stupid prank on her.
Before Chu Wanning could blow up, Shi Mei came up beside their shizun, holding out a bottle, “A-Ning, I brought the sunblock. Do you want shijie to put it on you?”
Chu Wanning’s hum of assent is overpowered by their shizun’s sudden growled out, “Fuck no.”
That causes the two disciples to look at their shizun in shock and confusion over the sudden show of anger.
“I mean…” Mo Ran laughs to diffuse the tension, “Why don’t you save that for yourself, Shi Mei? I’ll have A-Ning use mine, you go ahead, I’ll help her instead.”
Chu Wanning thinks she can see what caused the outburst. A sour feeling rises from her belly, and she bitterly interrupts the other two, “No need. You can help shijie instead, shizun. I’m going to go…go walk around.”
She may have accepted that she had no place in her shizun’s heart, but she didn’t need to see her shizun flirting and mooning over her shijie.
Chu Wanning tightens her hold on the sheer fabric wrapped over her, and hurries to make herself scarce.
A hand grabs her tightly on the arm before she can walk two steps, pulling her back down on the chair, before her shizun places a knee between her legs, trapping Chu Wanning with her arms.
“Where are you going, A-Ning?” Mo Ran whispers from above her, “Don’t just go off on your own without me. And we’re not going anywhere till I make sure you’re coated with sunblock properly, getting sunburnt hurts you know.”
“I-it’s fine…” Chu Wanning blinks in bewilderment at her shizun, “I can do it myself—”
“No, I’ll do it,” Mo Ran insists vehemently, “And you can’t reach your back, can you? Let shizun take care of it, okay?”
Her shizun’s touch somehow felt more scalding than the heat of the sun, despite the hot weather. Her hands roamed everywhere.
It had started out innocently enough, with how her shizun took the opportunity to squeeze Chu Wanning’s cheeks and poke her nose, as if she was some 5-year old kid. Chu Wanning merely huffed in feigned annoyance, though she couldn’t help but smile back when she saw her shizun’s beautiful dimpled smile directed at her.
It quickly turned into…into something else when she felt her shizun’s hands over her neck…and down…and it was downhill from there. Was it supposed to feel this…this sensual—
She fought not to make a sound, clenching her eyes shut trying to not focus on the searing hands that roamed her torso, then her thighs, down to her legs.
Chu Wanning’s eyes fly open when she feels her shizun try to put cream even on her feet.
“Shizun, that’s…that’s enough—” Chu Wanning pulls her foot back, but Mo Ran only tugs it back.
“Can’t have my A-Ning’s pretty feet get hurt now, can I?” Mo Ran smiles teasingly up at her, before making a kissy face a hair’s breadth away from her foot, causing Chu Wanning to physically recoil in shock and pull her foot away completely.
“Shizun!” Chu Wanning hisses, “Shameless. What do you think you’re doing?”
Mo Ran just laughs at her, then wipes her hands before pulling Chu Wanning to her feet, “Come on A-Ning, let’s go walk around!”
—
Mo Ran feels herself going absolutely mad.
Just the sight of A-Ning in a white swimsuit almost bowled her over. It was a simple style, just an unremarkable two-piece that had a halter strap that made her look like she was wearing a choker.
She looked devastatingly beautiful. So pure. And utterly fuckable.
The immediate possessiveness that overtook her was irrepressible, the beast within her wouldn’t stop screaming until she covered up her A-Ning away from perverted, prying eyes…that weren’t hers, at least.
Of course her dutiful, innocent disciple took her shizun’s words at face value, not even questioning it. Really, Mo Ran brought this torture upon herself.
Speaking of tortures she wrought on herself…perhaps the biggest test of her willpower was putting sunblock on her trusting, naive A-Ning. Gods. She sure hopes A-Ning didn’t let just anyone else touch her so blatantly the way Mo Ran did, hah. She’d crush their hands and then their throats.
Mo Ran never prided herself in her self-control, but it felt like she deserved an award for today. Although there was that slip-up when Shi Mei offered to help A-Ning that made her see nothing but green, and feel a disproportionate amount of bloodlust.
Which was ridiculous. Shi Mei wasn’t a threat. Hahaha. At least, she better not be interested in A-Ning that way—
Hah. Anyway.
Though really, after seeing A-Ning come out from the water and drip from head to toe, looking healthily flushed under the sun, and Mo Ran managing not to tackle her and have her way with her disciple deserved some kind of award, right?
Surely it nullifies this current situation with her inability to restrain herself, right? Hah.
Mo Ran has A-Ning pinned down on the bed of their shared room, both of her thin wrists over her head, looking at Mo Ran in utter bewilderment. Mo Ran’s right between A-Ning’s legs, a knee propped in-between to keep her thighs spread.
Fuck.
“Shizun?” A-Ning calls to her, her pretty voice doing nothing at all to calm the fire in Mo Ran down.
Well, they’ve reached this far…maybeee A-Ning can forgive a bit more—
Mo Ran leans down and captures A-Ning’s soft lips into her own, swallowing her disciple’s surprised exclamation. Her A-Ning’s sweet taste was too intoxicating for her to ever keep the kiss gentle for more than a few moments, quickly turning into her all but attempting to devour her disciple whole.
Mo Ran wraps A-Ning’s thighs around her, gripping her waist which she rubs her thumbs at as they kiss, eliciting a whimper from her disciple.
They eventually part for breath, and the sight of a dazed, disheveled A-Ning only stoked the fire at the pit of Mo Ran’s stomach more. Mo Ran trails down kisses and bites down A-Ning’s neck, evoking muffled moans from her disciple.
“Fuck, you drive me so crazy, A-Ning,” Mo Ran whispers against A-Ning’s skin, “You’re so fucking hot. Walking around like this, you really, really test my self-control, fuck.”
“I told myself I’d take it slow because I didn’t want to scare you off or overwhelm you,” Mo Ran pulls away to loom over A-Ning again, holding her disciple’s chin to look her in the eyes, “But I did so anyway, didn't I?”
“Are you scared, A-Ning?” Mo Ran asks desperately, searching her disciple’s eyes for any signs of discomfort or fear.
“No…but—” A-Ning’s eyelashes flutter as she blinks, “I don’t understand…shizun…”
“What?” It’s now Mo Ran’s turn to be confused, “What don’t you understand?”
A-Ning tries to look away but Mo Ran holds her face in place, “...Is this…is this a casual thing for you…? Or—”
“No!” Mo Ran all but growls, “Of course not! How could it ever be casual to me, I love you so much that I don’t know what to do with myself most of the time—”
Mo Ran only realizes what she just confessed long after it’s already said.
So much for taking this slow.
“I mean…” Mo Ran tries to backtrack, “Uh. No pressure. Take your time to consider your answer, A-Ning. Please. Just…just consider it, it doesn’t have to mean anything you don’t want it to if—”
“Shizun,” A-Ning interrupts her, “...It’s alright…I…I—”
“What was that?” Mo Ran asks again, straining to hear A-Ning’s words.
“IsaidIlikeyoutoo,” A-Ning whispers heatedly, before clenching her eyes shut.
The words take a few moments before it registers to Mo Ran, before she feels her heart pound in exhilaration, the unbridled affection and love blossoming warmly within her.
Huffing out a relieved, almost disbelieving laugh, Mo Ran leans in to kiss A-Ning again, deeply but keeping it short this time, “Since when? Did my cooking finally win you over?”
Mo Ran had intended it as a joke, trying to lighten the atmosphere to not burden her disciple with the intensity of her feelings. Even if A-Ning liked her back, it might not be at the level of what Mo Ran felt for her, at least not yet.
Instead, what she gets is the heartbreaking sight of pure yearning from her disciple’s eyes, looking straight into her eyes, uttering not a single word but conveying it all in that single look alone.
It was a strangely familiar look.
Oh.
She really fucked this up, didn’t she.
“A-Ning,” Mo Ran whispers, feeling unbearably choked up.
“Don’t,” A-Ning grits out, yanking her chin away from Mo Ran’s grip, “I don’t want your pity.”
“I don’t pity you A-Ning,” Mo Ran kisses her disciple’s forehead, “...Your shizun’s just been very dumb. I’m such a dummy. Can you learn to forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive…” A-Ning grumbles adorably, “If…if shizun’s serious then…then it’s enough.”
“Oh, A-Ning. Of course I’m serious. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,” Mo Ran beams down at her adorable disciple, “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize it…but I’ve always loved you. It’s only ever been you, A-Ning.”
A-Ning looks at her dubiously, but that’s alright. Mo Ran has the rest of their lives to convince her A-Ning of her words, after all. She’d happily work for it forever, so long as she gets to stay by A-Ning’s side.
But for now, they can do something fun to take her disciple’s mind off worrisome things. Heh.