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Craig blocks a cloud of smooth nicotine behind his teeth, keeping it from any chance of escape. He greedily sucks down the cooling smoke deep into his chest, then pushes it out between slightly puckered lips. A grayish vapor disperses into the air, and out of existence in an eye’s blink. The glowing bud of ash creeps down on the Lucky Strike, and he flicks the excess onto the snow beneath him with a practiced motion of his thumb.
Black boots crunch against the white blanketed earth, yet the sound is drowned out by the ruckus his heart has created. Another drag to forget about it, but then a new thought comes to mind: Tweek is going to get a nice (not so nice) waft of cigarette smoke straight into his nose the moment Craig is greeted at the front door. Not that it isn’t something Tweek has become accustomed to. But he’s been saying to Tweek he was going to stop. Is going to stop. ‘Least smoke a little less. Though, truthfully, now isn’t the most ideal time to attempt kicking the admittedly stupid habit to the curb, he thinks.
The glowing light on the shortening death stick dies out when it plummets into last night’s onslaught of snow, lying unshoveled beside the Tweaks’ doorstep, and ultimately becomes buried by Craig's boot. Exposed, frigid knuckles tap against the door in an unhurried rhythm, going much against his adrenaline’s advice. Is this how Tweek feels during his recurrent (lots of the time, failed) attempts of staying calm, despite his brain’s overwhelming instinct not to? Jesus Christ how does he deal with this on a daily basis. This feeling is so strikingly unlike the Craig everyone takes him for, and it’s got him on the edge of bursting right through his own skin and into Tweek’s house, before Tweek can even get down the damn stairs to meet him.
A moment goes by, then another two or three, and then the cold hinges of the door in front of him suddenly creeeeeak. It backs up into the front room, and presents to him his favorite boy in the world.
“Tweek,” he breathes out, like the name has been caught in his throat for a century. It's almost as if he hasn’t had the chance to speak with him in weeks, despite the fact he was with Tweek just yesterday.
Not even a full day ago, Craig had taken him back to Denver to reattempt their less-than-ideal amusement park date. And, luckily, as he had hoped, it ended up being a complete 180 situation from before--no tweets from the president almost endangering Tweek’s life, and not a single bumper car running over innocent park goers.
However, despite just how damn perfect the date went for the both of them, he hasn’t spoken to Tweek since last night, when he had walked him up to his front door, and wished him a good night after pressing a long kiss to Tweek’s cold, pinkish cheek. Not even a single Discord message was sent on his end, which is incredibly unlike Craig. He will always, without fail, send at least one message to Tweek after getting himself back home. But, no--he didn’t even bother opening up the app last night; he knew that one message would turn into two, two would become three, and then he would completely lose count and end up falling asleep mid conversation like he always does. He needed to be completely by himself and think. Think about this crushing feeling in his chest that Tweek is causing whenever their eyes meet. Whenever Craig hears his adorable and highly contagious laughter. Sees a warm, genuine smile on his precious face. Craig needed no distractions, so that he could process this whole thing by himself--even if talking would just be over the phone, merely with typed out words. But it’s just too damn easy for Craig to get lost in the very presence of Tweek as he always does, no matter the method of communication.
Despite the rapidly growing fear in his bones, he has to let Tweek in on the revelation he had last night; a lightbulb that suddenly lit up and, instantaneously, both alleviated and punched him in the gut at full force.
“We have to talk.”
The moment he is blessed by Tweek’s warm presence, he can see on his face just how much the unusual request is urging his boyfriend to slam the door and book it right back into his bedroom. Tweek almost always looks like he’s on the verge of losing his mind, but right now, he seems to be frozen in his spot, staring highly confused at his Craig.
Craig is a predictable person. Tweek likes the way he doesn’t have to keep on his toes around Craig. No need to think twice, no need to hold back, either. With Craig, there is a stability Tweek had never felt before they became close. This out of the blue visit, this greeting is unpredictable of Craig, and Tweek’s heart grimaces in fear.
His instinct is to apologize for whatever he clearly did wrong. List off and show remorse for any and every reason why Craig might be upset with him. Oh God he’s so stupid. He always fucks up all the good things in his life. He should have never done…
Err…done what, exactly? Things have been good between the two. Like, really, really nice. Tweek can’t say he has ever been happier, and it’s all thanks to having Craig in his life. He's really been trying hard to be the best boyfriend he can, and Craig has seemed to appreciate it. Hell, he even took him all the way back to Denver just to make up for the last date they had there. Craig has seemed to be really happy with him. Maybe he’s jumping the gun by assuming he’s done something wrong.
What if, instead, maybe…Oh God.
What did Craig do?
About a billion and a half questions are on the verge of spewing out of his mouth, but the blond holds it back, looking like it’s taking his entire might not to speak. This moment isn’t for Tweek to freak out. There seems to be something clearly bothering Craig, and he needs to be there for him, just like Craig’s always doing for him.
“A-About what?” Tweek stutters out, stepping back slightly into his house as his hand squeezes tightly to the edge of the door. “Are you okay, man?”
An odd warmth radiates through Craig's chest. He isn’t really used to being asked something like that. Craig is typically unbothered. Feels content with himself and his surroundings. To be asked something like that by Tweek…he isn’t sure if he feels cared for, or humiliated. Perhaps, it’s a mix of both.
“I'm fine,” he promises, though the words fall flat as he stares down at the snow he stands on. He has to act calm. Relax. Fake it 'til you make it, right? He doesn’t need to freak Tweek out before he can even get to the point. Acting out of the ordinary is only going to wind Tweek up.
“We need to talk about us,” Craig confesses simply, his eyes peeking back up to meet Tweek’s. His throat feels constricted by the hold those beautiful fucking green eyes have on him, and even more so as he watches them go wide. Maybe bigger than he’s ever seen them before. At least, he doesn’t think he’s ever been the cause of the face he’s pulling right now. Craig doesn’t like it at all.
“U…Us? ” Tweek asks, and he is suddenly hit by how horribly familiar this feels. He is taken back to their fake breakup, which feels like a lifetime ago at this point. Except, this time, Tweek is the one not knowing what to expect. Ah…is this the universe’s cruel punishment for throwing Craig under the bus that time? He really hadn’t deserved that…he supposes payback would be fair for all the shit he has put Craig through, but why now? Why, when everything between them is the best it has ever been? They have gotten through so much together, have grown so much because of one another. Tweek has truly felt like this was working out. He's started to truly believe--as cheesy and lame as it may sound--that they are meant to be together. Could he have somehow been wrong? His heart is sinking so low he thinks it might fall into his stomach.
“Yeah,” Craig says, unconsciously shoving ungloved hands into the pockets of his jacket. He's goddamn freezing out here, and Tweek watches the way Craig shivers. Even if what Craig needs to say is going to suck, even if Craig is about to absolutely break his fragile little heart, he can’t just watch him suffer in the cold like this.
“Okay. Let’s talk inside," Tweek decides on, reaching a warm hand out for him without thought. Though, he falters as he realizes what he’s doing--if Craig is about to break up with him, it’s likely he really doesn’t want to be holding his hand. Tweek’s fingers slowly withdraw with a curl into his palm, but then an ice cold hand grips onto his. The reciprocation is slightly startling, but he is undoubtedly grateful for it.
What if…this is the very last time he’ll feel Craig's hand in his own? He squeezes his frigid palm tightly at the thought.
As Craig shuffles into the warm familiarity of Tweek’s house, he can feel that the anxiousness crushing down on his shoulders has somewhat lifted off him. A small sigh escapes his mouth.
Tweek, on guard more than usual, watches the way Craig seems to just barely start to relax. Barely, but, hey, at least it’s something? “You…D’ya wanna sit?” Tweek suggests, though he is already guiding him over to the couch, leaving Craig without much choice, unless he lets go of Tweek’s hand.
But he doesn’t. In fact, Tweek could swear the hand in his own is beginning to hold tighter. It offers Tweek some relief too, but certainly not much.
Tweek takes a seat on his family’s horribly ugly magenta couch, and Craig follows suit. With his free hand, Craig holds onto Tweek’s other, and a soft gasp escapes the blond’s mouth at the sudden cold against his skin.
This start is…good? Bad? Tweek doesn’t know. How could he know? At the very least, it feels like Craig is preparing to try to let Tweek down gently, and Tweek is starting to feel as though he’s lost control of his lungs. Like air can no longer enter, or be released.
“...Tweek,” Craig starts, much less rushed and strained than when he first arrived at his home. He sounds maybe a little more grounded, but not by a whole lot. He still doesn’t completely sound like himself, and it has Tweek feeling like he’s drowning.
“Craig,” he almost whispers back, concern thick in his voice--as much as he wants to, he couldn’t hold it back if he tried. However, he won’t start losing his mind in front of Craig right now--he still wants to show him that he is attentive, and that he cares so deeply about him, no matter what Craig is preparing to say. No matter how much it is probably going to hurt.
“Yesterday…” Craig starts, his eyes focused on the paler hands in his--so soft and warm against his skin. He can feel the gentle tremble of them, and Craig naturally holds tighter. “I was sooo happy,” he speaks with a gentle smile, despite the anxiousness inside bubbling up to his throat. It felt so good to take Tweek out on their date, and treat him just like he deserves. Despite all the other park goers that had been around, it felt like Tweek and he were the only two in the world. Craig was completely immersed in him.
Tweek wants to smile back at Craig. Wants to feel relieved hearing that. It should be a good thing that Craig was happy yesterday, right? Tweek really, truly was, too. But maybe...this is just the beginning of the end. Craig is probably going to tell him that happy moments with Tweek are few and far between, and that it would take too much effort going forward to keep their relationship satisfying. Maybe Craig is going to tell him this isn’t worth his time and energy.
“Nhnn...B-Because you were at the amusement park, and sh-shit didn’t get all fucked up like last time?” he blurts with a little twitch on his face, stress coursing through him at the mere thought of it.
The bluntness of Tweek’s words causes a small snort from Craig. He shouldn’t be surprised by the quick assumption, but it did throw him off a tad, which he is actually kinda grateful for.
“Well, yes,” he answers back, that certainly being part of the truth. But it was so much more than that. “But I was so happy shit didn’t get all fucked up, because I wanted to make up for the last time with you. And I hope I could. At least a little. ‘Cause you deserve it, Tweek.”
While Tweek had already understood the reasoning behind Craig taking them back to the amusement park, his heart feels a little soothed to hear him say it. To hear he was so happy because he was able to make Tweek happy…
“Ah…you did make up for it,” Tweek promises, the grip on Craig's hands slowly becoming less tense. However, he still holds on, but in a noticeably more relaxed, gentle state. “I had a lot of fun. I think it was one of the happiest days I've ever had,” he admits, and he isn’t ashamed to. No matter what is about to happen, Craig deserves to know just how wonderful it is being with him, and how much he appreciated the thoughtful date.
Aside from his excitement at the park, Tweek had been so calm, and so bubbly the entire day, and Craig couldn’t get enough of the other boy’s happiness. It made him feel so whole seeing Tweek able to enjoy himself with Craig by his side. Without question, he feels so sure now that it is his number one mission in life to continue seeing Tweek so happy, and he will do absolutely anything and everything in his power he can to make it reality.
“Really?” Craig asks, and Tweek swears there is a twinkle in the boy’s eyes. Craig holds his slightly smaller hands a bit tighter, his body moving closer to Tweek’s, seemingly on its own. “Me too,” he says easily, shutting his eyes as his forehead presses against Tweek’s, and silently, he soaks in the warmth of his presence.
Now Tweek is…confused. Like, extremely lost. There really seems to be something wrong. Or at least, there seemed to be something wrong? But now Craig is all…being sweet on him, like he usually is. What the fuck is going on? He didn’t just imagine Craig acting super weird before, right? Because right now, this moment is pretty normal for them. Craig has no problems being affectionate. No issues communicating how he feels towards Tweek. This is totally normal, but his arrival certainly was…not.
“..C..Craig?” he questions, feeling terribly confused. Tweek slowly pulls away, with some hesitation. He doesn’t want to be away from him, he doesn’t want to ruin this moment, but…
“What's going on? You were acting super weird when you got here. W..What is it?” he asks, and Tweek hopes to God he won’t regret it. Regardless of Craig's answer, he has to know what is happening.
In truth, Craig had almost forgotten why he had come here so suddenly, and as he is reminded, all the heat in his body rushes up to his cheeks.
“Oh yeah,” he says nonchalantly, though the look on his face is more than enough to tell Tweek he isn’t feeling as calm as he sounds. “That,” he stalls, nervously staring down at their intertwined fingers. Following Craig’s eyes, Tweek does the same.
“Look, Tweek, I..I don’t want to freak you out,” he starts, though the statement alone has Tweek wanting to.
“So just...try to stay calm. Look at me, alright?” Craig requests. He can feel Tweek’s hands beginning to shake in his grip like they had before.
Tweek so badly wants to scream at Craig to just spit it the fuck out. Hurry up. He hates when Craig keeps him waiting. He can hear Craig's voice echoing in his head, reminding him, “I’ll go when I’m ready and not before.”
But God please, just break his heart as quickly as he can already. Rip that stuck-on-horrifically-tight band-aid off him. He can’t take living in this uncertain moment anymore. He looks up at Craig's eyes, terrified of what is to come.
“So..Last night…” he starts.
Ah, fuck. His voice is shaking.
…Are his hands shaking, too? Craig tries to swallow this huge, uncomfortable lump growing massive in his throat, but it’s completely pointless. It won’t leave him until he uses his damn words, and tells Tweek what’s going on. His heart is beating so fast though, his brain is spinning in fucking circles. He never second guesses himself, but now, he’s scared, and he can’t stop questioning his words.
What if it’s too much for Tweek to handle? What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if he completely ruins everything with Tweek? He makes him sooo happy, and he can’t lose him. But that’s also exactly why he has to tell him.
“Shit shit shit," Tweek repeats like some fucked up mantra in his head. What the fuck did Craig do last night? He didn’t message him after he brought him home, that’s for damn sure. Pretty freaking suspicious if you ask Tweek. What the hell had Craig been doing? What was he so busy with? Maybe…
Who was he so busy with…?
Oh God. Oh no. Did Tweek get… cheated on? Oh God, oh God. He’s going to lose it. Start blubbering like a fucking idiot all over Craig. He can already feel his eyes beginning to sting as tears creep up on him, and he doesn’t know if he can hold them back.
He should have expected this. Someone as perfect as Craig deserves a better partner. How didn’t Tweek see this coming? He’s so--
“Tweek, last night, I..,” Craig resumes, his hands crushingly tight against Tweek’s.
Oh god. It's over...Goodbye to the one person Tweek could ever rely on. It was nice while it lasted.
“I realized I love you.”
Craig's words are followed by too many moments of complete silence. Nothing can be heard between them, other than maybe the erratic beating of two boys’ hearts together.
After an attempt to process Craig’s words, Tweek tries to speak, but nothing comes out. Other than weird little squeaks coming from his throat. Honestly, he’s not even sure he heard Craig right. He probably didn’t. Craig… love? Him? It's crazy enough that Craig has feelings for him to begin with…Hell, even some of the guys they hang around have suggested such. There’s no possible way he could love him. Right? He guesses he could understand liking him because of the simple fact they have fun together, but for Craig to love him…it doesn’t seem possible. It isn’t possible.
“You… what? ” he asks stupidly, the utter disbelief clear in his voice. It's as if Craig's words don’t make any sense to him, like they’re complete gibberish, and it leaves Craig just as confused as Tweek.
The corner of Craig's mouth twitches a little. He's…unsure what to make of Tweek’s reaction. He seems to be shocked, and Craig doesn’t really understand why. What could be so hard to understand about him loving Tweek? If anything, it has probably already been painfully obvious that he does, despite not realizing the severity of his own feelings until last night.
“I realized I love you,” Craig repeats simply. He moves himself in closer, similarly to before. But this time, he leaves enough space so that they can still look at each other’s faces.
“I'm in love with you, Tweek,” he confesses again in almost a whisper. Deep blue eyes come down to watch his thumbs slowly move against Tweek’s hands, and he isn’t sure if the motion is meant to soothe Tweek, or himself.
After a moment of no response, he looks back up at Tweek’s face, staring at glossy eyes and furrowed brows.
“Tweek..babe?” he asks gently, trying with his entire being to keep his voice from shaking. Tweek looks as though he is about to cry, and Craig cannot pinpoint why--but either way, his chest aches as he watches him. Did he make Tweek upset? Overwhelmed? Scared? He won’t push too hard for an answer, but he isn’t going anywhere until Tweek talks it out with him.
“Hey..s'okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just thought--” he tries to explain, but suddenly…
Craig’s voice is cut off by Tweek throwing himself forward, wrapping his arms so tightly around his boyfriend in a bone crushing hug.
“I love you, Craig,” he cries out softly, his warm face buried in the slightly cool skin of Craig’s neck. Oh God, the relief. The sweet, sweet relief knowing that everything between them is okay. More than okay. Craig… fucking loves him. And he loves Craig, too. So, so much. He…really can’t believe this. How did he get so lucky? He must have accidentally tricked Craig into this somewhere along the way, and he’s got no idea how.
“Jesus Christ, man--I thought you were breaking up with me, you freaking jerk,” Tweek sputters, his voice somewhere in between a sob and a laugh.
Craig has turned into one giant ball of mixed emotions. His entire body is full of a buzzing warmth hearing Tweek’s reciprocation, yet his chest aches at the thought of accidentally scaring Tweek, causing him to believe their relationship was, for some reason he can’t even imagine, coming to an end--he feels awful for it. He probably should have better planned this out in a way that wouldn’t freak him out, but Craig thought he might explode if he didn’t tell him as soon as he could.
“Oh, honey...absolutely not, ” Craig assures, a hand coming up from the hug to card affectionately through wild, blond locks.
“Why would I ever give up on the most important thing in my life?” he asks quietly, cradling Tweek’s head as he pulls him in even closer, rubbing his back with his other hand. “I’m so happy being with you, Tweek. I’m so in love with you, it’s kinda insane,” he softly chuckles.
God, Tweek just wants to cry. He loves Craig so much. He feels silly now for thinking this could have been something awful, and all he can do is chuckle back.
He sighs softly, nuzzling his neck as he revels in the relief, holding onto Craig as if his life depends on it.
“I love you, too, Craig.”