Chapter Text
It was in the late evening, and Atsushi was on his way home, carrying two bags full of groceries. There was a slight spring in his steps, and he was humming a song that’s been stuck in his head for the past few hours.
Today had been a good day. They managed to stop a would be murderer, and no blood had to be spilled in the process. These kind of days were Atsushi’s favorite, the kind where he could see the faces of the people he saved, and feel a tiny bit of weight lift off his chest because of that.
When he reached the stairs of his apartment block, the spring hadn’t left his steps yet. He climbed up, two stairs at a time, and opened the door to his apartment.
Inside, there was his home. The only home he ever had, one that was given to him by the ADA, by Dazai.
And there was another person in there.
Atsushi’s hairs stood on the back of his neck, and he tensed himself, preparing to transform at a moment’s notice. It couldn’t be Kyouka, since she moved out a couple of months ago, and Atsushi couldn’t imagine any agency members dropping in announced at this hour, but it was better to check before attacking. Carefully putting down the groceries, as to not crack the eggs, Atsushi turned around…
And and came face to face with Akutagawa, of all people. Atsushi was so surprised, he almost gasped out loud. What was Akutagawa doing here? Did he decide that six months was too long to wait, and came to kill Atsushi right here and now? Because if so, Atsushi was completely ready to throw down.
“What are you doing here, Akutagawa?” Atsushi asked, trying to sound confident and calm and not caught completely off guard.
Akutagawa’s head slowly lifted up, until his eyes met Atsushi’s. Despite the fact that Akutagawa was the one who came to Atsushi’s apartment, so he must’ve been expecting to see Atsushi, the expression on his face was nothing short of stunned.
“Akutagawa?” Atsushi asked, brows furrowing, but body relaxing. Whatever this was, it didn’t seem like Akutagawa wanted to attack him.
In three quick strides, Akutagawa closed the distance between them, and pulled Atsushi into a crushing hug.
For the first few seconds, Atsushi was effectively shocked into stillness. What the hell, like what in the actual hell was going on? Despite all common sense, Atsushi could feel his cheeks getting warmer.
Eventually he managed to snap out of what was keeping him in place, and started struggling against Akutagawa’s grasp.
In response, Akutagawa loosened his grip and pulled back, which was a more considerate reaction than what Atsushi expected.
“Akutagawa, what’s going on?” Atsushi asked, confused and more than a little worried.
Akutagawa removed his hands from Atsushi’s back, and brought them both to his cheeks, aligning their eyes and making Atsushi notice, for the first time, just how striking Akutagawa’s eyes were. So dark, they seemed completely black.
When Akutagawa finally spoke, his voice was so quiet, Atsushi wouldn’t have heard it if they weren’t so close. It was devoid of all the usual condescending aloofness Atsushi was used to hearing from Akutagawa. No needlessly complex phrasing, no creative threats, just three simple words. “I love you.”
Atsushi’s brain short circuited. There’s no way he heard that right. No way. But at the same time, his ears were functioning perfectly fine, and Akutagawa spoke clearly, so there was no doubt that he did hear it right. In the end, Atsushi could only squeak out a pitiful “What?”
Now, apparently realising what he was doing, Akutagawa hastily let him go, taking step after step backward, until his back hit the wall. He fumbled to open the window, which was insane, since Atsushi’s never seen Akutagawa fumble things. Than Atsushi’s brain caught up with his eyes, and he realised what Akutagawa’s was going to do once the window was open.
Atsushi couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Akutagawa come in here, drop this on him, and leave just like that. Atsushi needed at least some kind of explanation, anything would do.
Without even thinking about what he would say, Atsushi called out. “Wait, stop!” And to his immense surprise, Akutagawa actually did stop. Sizing the opportunity, Atsushi quickly asked, his questions tumbling out one after the other like a flood, “What’s going on? What are you doing? And why now?”
Akutagawa’s stance was guarded, but his face was completely open. In his expression, Atsushi saw fear, regret, hesitation, but above anything else, he saw determination. “There is something I need to do, and…” it looked like Akutagawa was steeling himself for what he was about to say next. “And I might be killed in the process, so tonight could be my last chance to tell you.”
“What?” Atsushi asked, voice limp and mind racing to try and understand. Akutagawa is going somewhere, and he might die? And to do something? Do what? What could be so important that Akutagawa would risk his life and do it seemingly alone? “Don’t go there alone. Whatever it is, we can ask for help from the ADA, or even your mafia people. You don’t have to risk your life alone.”
“I wasn’t asking for permission.” Akutagawa said, and just like that, he was back to being cold and detached, just like Atsushi was used to. And with these words Akutagawa was gone, out of the window and off to god knows where, to a thing that might kill him.
Atsushi ran to the window, but he couldn’t spot Akutagawa anywhere. He knew from experience that it was entirely possible for Akutagawa to disappear this quickly, and Atsushi would be left with absolutely no way to find him. So he did the only thing he could think of at that moment.
He craned his head over the window and shouted as loudly as he could. “I love you too!” the words echoed through the dark cityscape, much louder than Atsushi intended, but to no avail. There was no figure coming back out of the dark to explain himself, no pale face turning to face him, not even a hint of a response.
Atsushi didn’t know if Akutagawa heard him, didn’t know if he really even meant these words, but it felt like the only right thing to say.
Closing the window slowly, and sitting down on the nearest chair, Atsushi wondered what he was going to do now. He couldn’t just do nothing, not when Akutagawa was somewhere risking his life for some unknown reasons. Not when Akutagawa could be dead by tomorrow.
With shaking hands, Atsushi reached for his phone and dialed the first number that came to him. A few seconds passed by, before Kunikida finally picked up.
“What is it, kid?” he sounded vaguely annoyed, but that was not unusual for him. This phone call was probably interrupting whatever ritual Kunikida had for his evenings, Atsushi thought absent-mindedly.
Taking a deep breath to gather himself, Atsushi spoke, voice as stable as he could manage.
“I, um, I think I need your help.”